Reviewed by Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)
Dr. Barbara Oakley is the author of Evil Genes—Why Rome Fell, Hitler Rose, Enron Failed, and My Sister Stole My Mother’s Boyfriend. Oakley’s resume reads like something out of a spy novel: She worked as a translator on Russian fishing trawlers during the Cold War, went from a private to an officer in the military, met her husband while working as a radio operator at the South Pole, and is now a professor of bio-engineering.
About this book, Gavin DeBecker writes, “Whatever you might believe about the role of genetics versus environment, Evil Genes will take you somewhere you haven’t been. Barbara Oakley brilliantly reveals the falseness of one of the ego’s little lies: That all our behavior is decided by us.”
Psychology Today writes “The author is successful at intertwining science with her family’s history ”¦ Oakley’s explanations are lucid, making Evil Genes and easy read even for those who need a refresher course on chromosomes, seratonin, and the amygdalae ”¦ From infamous dictators to conniving sisters, Machiavellians come in many shapes and sizes. Now we have some insight into what makes them tick.”
Like the previous book of Dr. Oakley’s that I reviewed, Cold-Blooded Kindness, this book was so interesting that I could hardly put it down, and I wore out another yellow highlighter marking especially interesting passages I wanted to review again.
Dr. Oakley’s sister, Carolyn, actually did steal her mother’s boyfriend, and was highly Machiavellian, probably psychopathic. Dr. Oakley personally and professionally “gets it” about toxic people. She focuses her book on the genetics plus the environments that make people with personality disorders “successful” or not so “successful,” by looking at various people, including her sister, Carolyn, as well as Mao, Stalin, the CEO of Enron, and Hitler. She looks at how their genetic tendencies and family histories folded together with environments that placed them at a juncture where they could blossom into the abusers on either a personal scale or a worldwide scale.
She looks at the way in which genes, and their variations, affect not only how we look, but how we react and think, how self-serving we are, or how altruistic we may be. She takes the very subjects that are discussed daily here at LoveFraud and puts them into scientific jargon, but in such a way that even if you had trouble in Mrs. Smith’s seventh-grade science class, you can still understand what she is talking about.
Dr. Oakley doesn’t just focus on the psychopaths, but on the personality disorders in general and the fact that “borderline,” “narcissistic,” “histrionic” and “antisocial” personality disorders overlap in such a way that they are more likely to be different points on a continuum rather than separate entities. She refers to the “total” personality disordered as the “successfully sinister” or “Machiavellian.” About trying to tell someone who has not been targeted by one, she says it is like:
trying to explain color to a blind person ”¦ People simply aren’t generally raised and educated to understand the small percentages of the population—some of whom are outwardly very successful—are quite capable of masking deeply disturbed personalities. Sometimes, sadly, the devastating reality of these “unfixable” personalities becomes clear only after marriage and children. (As relationship expert Russell Friedman once quipped: “You can’t love someone into mental health.”)
“I can’t believe there might be some kind of scientific explanation for this,” the have-dealt-withs tell me time after time, “I never even talk about it because no one would believe me.” Without knowledge of recent studies, people have little way of figuring out that their seemingly isolated experience was far more common than they’d realized.
There are few books that I have ever found as interesting as I have Dr. Barbara Oakley’s two books, and I am anxiously awaiting her latest book which is due to be published in August. Don’t let her “subtitle” to Evil Genes of “Why Rome fell, Hitler Rose, Enron Failed, and My Sister Stole My Mother’s Boyfriend” put you off or fool you. This is well researched and documented information about the “successfully sinister.” The book adds to the growing knowledge available to the public (not just the professionals) about the “psychopaths among us,” that will hopefully help educate the general public about how to spot toxic personalities and realize that they truly are “unfixable.
Like Gavin DeBecker, who had a mother who was personality disordered, Dr. Oakley had a sister who was personality disordered. She, like DeBecker, not only “gets it,” but knows how to present it so that others can “get it” from her writings. I highly recommend this work.
Evil Genes—Why Rome Fell, Hitler Rose, Enron Failed, and My Sister Stole My Mother’s Boyfriendis available on Amazon.com.
Dear Eden, I think both of these books have a great deal to add to our understanding of psychopathy and other personality disorders as well as altruism and people who FAKE altruism as well. The main character in the “Cold blooded kindness” is in my mind a very typical psychopath who in reality is a user and abuser, but FAKES being altruistic…she isn’t much of a “successful” psychopath because in the end she shoots herself in the foot and gets caught and convicted. She does, however, trauma bond some of her family to her which many of the psychopaths are able to do.
Also I think Dr. Oakley is a heck of a writer and one smart cookie. I anxiously await her next book out due in August I think.
When you get done reading the book, I would like you to write a redux review of it as well and give us your opinion of it. (seriously)
Hi Eden!
How did your day go?
Ok, Thanks Ox! I definitely will. I love writing. It is one thing I do very well. And I have never written a book review, before. It will be a great pleasure for me to have the opportunity to give in some way to all of you. I have been taking so much from here, and I have a tendancy to feel as though, I don’t give back enough. I want to be effective in the healing of others, however possible and to give back as much as I have taken from this site.
You are so right! Dr Oakly is so smart. She is so deeply aware of so much. I am amazed at what different perspectives I am gaining from reading Cold Blooded Kindness. I am glad my eyes have been opened to areas/aspects of things that I had not had such an understanding of, prior.
Thanks, Ox!
Eden
Hi Sky,
Very well, thanks! Yours? I am just too busy, and I think that if I don’t hire an assistant, soon, I am going to burst. But very greatful to have more work than I know what to do with. Things got a bit hairy (sp?) there for a minute. a real nail biter of a situation at times. Now the opposite. I now understand the term “Be careful what you wish for” : )
Kiss Kiss,
E
Um, Eden?
Pic of ox with an ox? WHERE?
LL
Eden,
None of your successes surprises me in the least, particularly if they are BOUNTIFUL for you!
Helloooooooooooooooooo!!!
Run with it, chica.
LL
I love you, LL !! You’re good for the soul, and lots of other things. Just very special, you are. Yes there is an ADORABLE photo of Ox with her beautiful ox. Click on LF Authors or Authors on LF? Scroll up… on left of screen! So awesome!
Love,
E
Eden, I’m glad you got it under control. As I knew you could!
You’ve got it together woman! TOWANDA!
My day was really laid back. Still recovering from the hives or allergies or whatever it was.
XXXOOO
Sky
I need to read “Cold Blooded Kindness” and the “Evil Genes.”
Congrats Oxy on the listing! I’ve been enjoying your writing for a long time!
Love the pix! Adorable. The book sounds so interesting, I need a good book to read.
Hi everyone!