Reviewed by Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)
Dr. Barbara Oakley is the author of Evil Genes—Why Rome Fell, Hitler Rose, Enron Failed, and My Sister Stole My Mother’s Boyfriend. Oakley’s resume reads like something out of a spy novel: She worked as a translator on Russian fishing trawlers during the Cold War, went from a private to an officer in the military, met her husband while working as a radio operator at the South Pole, and is now a professor of bio-engineering.
About this book, Gavin DeBecker writes, “Whatever you might believe about the role of genetics versus environment, Evil Genes will take you somewhere you haven’t been. Barbara Oakley brilliantly reveals the falseness of one of the ego’s little lies: That all our behavior is decided by us.”
Psychology Today writes “The author is successful at intertwining science with her family’s history ”¦ Oakley’s explanations are lucid, making Evil Genes and easy read even for those who need a refresher course on chromosomes, seratonin, and the amygdalae ”¦ From infamous dictators to conniving sisters, Machiavellians come in many shapes and sizes. Now we have some insight into what makes them tick.”
Like the previous book of Dr. Oakley’s that I reviewed, Cold-Blooded Kindness, this book was so interesting that I could hardly put it down, and I wore out another yellow highlighter marking especially interesting passages I wanted to review again.
Dr. Oakley’s sister, Carolyn, actually did steal her mother’s boyfriend, and was highly Machiavellian, probably psychopathic. Dr. Oakley personally and professionally “gets it” about toxic people. She focuses her book on the genetics plus the environments that make people with personality disorders “successful” or not so “successful,” by looking at various people, including her sister, Carolyn, as well as Mao, Stalin, the CEO of Enron, and Hitler. She looks at how their genetic tendencies and family histories folded together with environments that placed them at a juncture where they could blossom into the abusers on either a personal scale or a worldwide scale.
She looks at the way in which genes, and their variations, affect not only how we look, but how we react and think, how self-serving we are, or how altruistic we may be. She takes the very subjects that are discussed daily here at LoveFraud and puts them into scientific jargon, but in such a way that even if you had trouble in Mrs. Smith’s seventh-grade science class, you can still understand what she is talking about.
Dr. Oakley doesn’t just focus on the psychopaths, but on the personality disorders in general and the fact that “borderline,” “narcissistic,” “histrionic” and “antisocial” personality disorders overlap in such a way that they are more likely to be different points on a continuum rather than separate entities. She refers to the “total” personality disordered as the “successfully sinister” or “Machiavellian.” About trying to tell someone who has not been targeted by one, she says it is like:
trying to explain color to a blind person ”¦ People simply aren’t generally raised and educated to understand the small percentages of the population—some of whom are outwardly very successful—are quite capable of masking deeply disturbed personalities. Sometimes, sadly, the devastating reality of these “unfixable” personalities becomes clear only after marriage and children. (As relationship expert Russell Friedman once quipped: “You can’t love someone into mental health.”)
“I can’t believe there might be some kind of scientific explanation for this,” the have-dealt-withs tell me time after time, “I never even talk about it because no one would believe me.” Without knowledge of recent studies, people have little way of figuring out that their seemingly isolated experience was far more common than they’d realized.
There are few books that I have ever found as interesting as I have Dr. Barbara Oakley’s two books, and I am anxiously awaiting her latest book which is due to be published in August. Don’t let her “subtitle” to Evil Genes of “Why Rome fell, Hitler Rose, Enron Failed, and My Sister Stole My Mother’s Boyfriend” put you off or fool you. This is well researched and documented information about the “successfully sinister.” The book adds to the growing knowledge available to the public (not just the professionals) about the “psychopaths among us,” that will hopefully help educate the general public about how to spot toxic personalities and realize that they truly are “unfixable.
Like Gavin DeBecker, who had a mother who was personality disordered, Dr. Oakley had a sister who was personality disordered. She, like DeBecker, not only “gets it,” but knows how to present it so that others can “get it” from her writings. I highly recommend this work.
Evil Genes—Why Rome Fell, Hitler Rose, Enron Failed, and My Sister Stole My Mother’s Boyfriendis available on Amazon.com.
LL-I’m afraid of that too and women who have never had children are at an increased risk of breast, ovarian, and cervical cancers. That is one of the reasons that I am worried about getting weight off too-not just for the police academy but people who carry this much extra weight have an increased rate of all those cancers. Luckily though, when I go to the police academy the doc can stop my periods for me with meds and we were planning on doing that anyway. She didn’t want me to have to deal with it when the time comes.
Lizzy,
So your doc would put you on hormones or? I think we’re also at greater risk for heart attack and stroke. With me being a smoker, perhaps when menopause is over, I’ll consider that option. I’m very addicted to cigarettes, having smoked a pack a day for over thirty five years. I’m not ready to quit yet. I own it. LOL! But thinking about the loss of benefits of hormones that come with menstrual cycles is a little frightening. I’ve been reading a lot about it.
HRT is a bit scary too.
LL
LL:
I worry about losing those health benefits, too even though I am in excellent health and shape. It is still scary as to what will happen down the road. I had blood tests done in January and my numbers were off the charts. The normal FSH levels for a non menopausal woman are around 50 I think. Mine was 127.5! Yet I am still not in full menopause…I am still getting periods, but they are sporadic now. I think the definition of menopause is going one full year without a period. That hasn’t happened yet, but I did miss three months in a row last last year when this all started out of the blue. I say out of the blue because I never missed a period and then boom. I think all that I went through also had something to do with throwing me into this hormonal state.
The three old cows I have left are pets, but when their time comes (unless they are sick) will go into the freezer (waste not, want not) and I have one heifer that is just destined for slaughter as she is not halter broken. Nah, don’t name the ducks cause I can’t tell the females apart from each other….and only have 1 grown male and they will all look alike anyway. They are not a friendly breed either, and go spastic when you approach them, they are NUTS. But they lay lots of eggs. The friendly breeds don’t lay many eggs.
LL-we are at risk for heart attack and stroke too and HRT has its concerns as well. I am lucky that I have a heart like my dad’s side of the family but my mom has stroke/aneurysms and high blood pressure on her side. I smoked for 10 years and quit three years ago but I smoked this week cuz I was so stressed out. Now I stopped again today. She wants to weight til I lose a lot of weight before putting me on hormones cuz the pill makes me gain weight. I took it while I was with spath so we could have unprotected sex and not worry about pregnancy. As soon as we ended I went off of them. Now that I am going back to my true self being with women, I don’t need them for pregnancy, so it seems to ridiculous. My doc though specialized in reproductive endocrinology in addition to just ob/gyn so she will take good care of me. I just have to wait to see her until I can get a full time job with benefits.
Ox,
So if a cow reaches a ripe old age (Not sure how old an average cow can get to be), is the meat still good? That’s probably a silly question.
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh ducks for egg laying….I had duck eggs a few times and I just couldn’t stomach it. I couldn’t get my mind off the city park!
LL
Lizzy,
The older I get, the more aware I become of my physical sense of well being or not. I have high blood pressure. My mom’s side of the family, both my grandparents and my mother were dead by 53. Longevity is NOT on my side with her side and genetics.
Dad’s side live into their nineties, except my aunt who died of an abdominal aneurysm at 65.
When I think of the age of 53, it’s not that far away. So as time goes on in the healing process, my health is becoming more prominent in my mind. Funny how that works….
Good for you in quitting again Lizzy! Three years is a long time without a cigarette! That was for you, chica!
I understand the tie with stress and smoking. I want to continue to work on breaking my trauma bond and addiction to spath before I work on anything else……but it’s on my mind a lot now!
You’ll get a job, Lizzy. The dispatcher job doesn’t sound to bad. Are you practicing your typing while waiting to take the test again?
I’ve always been curious about dispatcher jobs. It seems highly stressful. Is it?
LL
Hi Oxy,
I like the picture of you and the long haired cow! That was so funny last night about it being so hot the hens layed hard boiled eggs! Even funnier was the “milk” taster lol, like a fine wine…
Lesson learned, as long as a cow is not “poor” (skinny) it does not matter how old she is the meat is good. In fact young doesn’t make better (except for veal and that’s another story as they are only 6 weeks old) it is how they are fed and so an old cow is excellent meat if she is well fed, very good in fact. It is my preference in fact. Bull meat, however, gets tougher as the male hormones keep it from marbling so a bull must be under 30 months old to be worth much except as ground meat. Most Hamburger you buy is old skinny dairy cows and bulls. And, no, it doesn’t bother me to eat my “pet” cow….cause once they are dead they are just meat, not a “person”—but that’s cause I grew up on a farm eating meat I was personally acquainted with before it died. LOL
Ana glad you liked my practical jokes….us country bumpkins aren’t as dumb as people think we are! LOL
I’m going to lose my case on Tuesday. I received the information that the hospital provided for the case and it has untrue statements in it. They said that I said something that is a total lie. I was also surprised at what little information came out of their four day investigation that had me suspended without pay. Their paragraph of their findings was about as long as this post-seems like they needed the four days to get their lies straight.