BOOK REVIEW: Getting It Through My Thick Skull

Finally—the word “sociopath” is being applied to a high-profile case that doesn’t involve a serial killer.

Mary Jo Buttafuoco, wife of Joey Buttafuoco, shot in the head back in 1992 by Amy Fisher, the “Long Island Lolita,” is telling her story. And the first words of the introduction are, “Joey Buttafuoco is a sociopath.”

Getting It Through My Thick Skull—Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know, has just been released. Why did it take Mary Jo 17 years to write the book? Because it was only in 2007 that she realized the truth about Joey Buttafuoco.

Perhaps you remember the case. Mary Jo got shot. The police said her husband was having an affair with her assailant, who was 16 at the time. Joey Buttafuoco denied the affair, and Mary Jo believed him, defended him, and rallied friends and family around him. But the cops were right and she was wrong—her husband was sleeping with the teenager. Then Joey Buttafuoco said it was all Amy Fisher’s fault—and Mary Jo believed him again.

Mary Jo describes the craziness of life with her husband: how he continued to reel her back in, how she coped with the ordeal (she became addicted to painkillers) and how she finally recovered—from the addiction and from Joey. The book is co-written by Julie McCarron, a well-known celebrity collaborator, so it’s an easy read.

Mary Jo Buttafuoco has launched her media tour with an appearance today on Good Morning America. See the coverage:

Mary Jo Buttafuoco speaks out about her ex-husband Joey, the “Sociopath”

Excerpt: Getting It Through My Thick Skull/p>

In her book, this is the message Mary Jo conveys:

I wouldn’t wish marriage or an intimate relationship of any kind to a sociopath on anyone; my hope is that this book will inspire others to “get it” and get out far sooner than I did. I promise there is a great new life on the other side!

Mary Jo actually contacted me when she was starting her book, and we spoke on the phone. Now the book is done, and I hope she gets a lot of publicity. I hope a lot of people buy it—especially people who really don’t understand how many sociopaths are in the world, and what they look like. Maybe, just maybe, this book will be a big step in raising public awareness about sociopaths.

Getting It Through My Thick Skull is available now on

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118 Comments on "BOOK REVIEW: Getting It Through My Thick Skull"

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Sorry about the sunglasses smile, that was supposed to be the number 8. and I don’t know why it posted twice!

Okay, it is just there once.! Blindsided, I know you’ve been doing a great job of mostly NC. For me, even more than 2 years since I last saw him, I still have to remind myself. And remember, that even if I do WIN from my perspective, he will make sure he sees it as HIM winning NO MATTER WHAT, because that is how they are. For me, I had to end it with me threatening him, to make sure this time he would stay away. I didn’t care if he thought me looney tunes, in fact that would help him stay away!

Yes, I have made it past the anniversary of the initial D&D. However, I seem to have had a setback this past week. I seem to be remembering more the good times than the bad. I do have a very bad self-concept and the S had, for 18 months, made me feel desirable for the first time in a very long time. I long for that feeling back- and fear he was my last and only chance- I think that is why, learnedthelesson, that it is so very hard to shake the wish to have him back. He was so so nice to me for so long, that I really believed I was desirable and I really believed he was my forever friend. Trying to wrap my mind around what he really is borders on impossible some days.

During the past 12 months, I have had times when I felt much stronger than I do right now- times when I hoped I would never hear from him again. I think the combination of the anniversary of the D&D and learning that he got another job far away have come together to make me really see this is most likely final- and that is just so so hard to accept.

The latest post “Catch and Release” really grabbed me. Although the words were different, I have often thought that while he was devaluing and discarding me, the S was getting some sort of rush. He, like mentioned in that post, did not want or need anything material from me- just my heart. And knowing he has it, and can continue to stomp all over it apparently is very exhilarating for him. Saying “I don’t want to hurt you any more” while doing(calling me on my birthday, for example, and on the anniversary of our weekend trip) and saying (“I know you love me and I do not love you”) hurtful things seems to give him a charge.

I’m going to NY to visit my 85 year old mother tomorrow. I think getting away will be helpful. However, even that trip brings back memories- because the S and I used to exchange funny phone calls and e-mails when I was in NY.

Reactivity, triggers….those are the biggest problems I think for those of us healing. Find new rituals, new FUN things to associate with a trip. For me, I didn’t have a radio in my car and I got sirius and just loved all the humor channels and stayed off the romance songs! LoL! Whatever it is, try to get new GREAT rituals associated with what used to be great with him.

and here is another thing one therapist pointed out to me. You already know how to feel desirable and fantastic without anyone loving you because he never did really love you!!!!!!!!!! That seemed like a funny thought and then I realized it is TRUE. MY THOUGHTS were making me happy, not the reality of him!

What would you feel like if you knew you were everything you want to be? Start acting like that person today!

And lavish good things on yourself. For me, that would be a new dog or even a couple of guinea pigs. Animals are SO good at letting you know you are the best thing on earth.

And volunteer. Maybe in a nursing home, maybe at a women’s shelter, maybe at a school for retarded children, maybe at a sanctuary for abused animals. Get your troubles in perspective.

That is not to minimize the problems but to minimize the bad guy!!! Someday he will just be a distant memory. If he really won’t matter in 40 years (and believe me, as someone who is almost sexy sixty, I can tell you it is incredible what you forget!!) , why let him matter today?? What if you survived the Tsunami? It was horrible, awful….but at some point you have to say that was then, this is now. I had to have my ear drum lanced when I was 4. HORRIBLE PAIN. I can remember, but I will tell you this. It doesn’t keep me awake at night. I don’t wake up thinking about it. Put him in the past. Forget healing from him for now!!! First “right size” him.

There is only one person in the world who can truly make your feel desirable and that is you. And you’ve done it. You did it while you were with him. Now do it without him. Or better yet, forget about desirability. On your deathbed, you will not be wondering if your hospital gown makes your butt look too big.

Go have fun in NY!!!!!!!!

Talk about a psychopath’s PITY PLAY, Amy Fisher is now on “celebrity rehab” LOL Poor baby she is FORCED to do porno films. She doesn’t look any too well either, I can’t imagine that she would be even a second rate porno “star” — almost makes me wish I had cable so I could watch this show.

Celebrity Rehab star Amy Fisher, formerly known as the Long Island Lolita, says she feels ‘forced’ into doing porn

By Jody Thompson

Last updated at 6:15 PM on 4th July 2011

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She became notorious in 1992 aged just 17 when she shot her married lover’s wife in the face – earning her the nickname The Long Island Lolita.

Now Amy Fisher, 36, has told Celebrity Rehab doctor Dr Drew Pinsky that she felt making porn was the only job she could do.

Amy broke down in floods of tears as she confessed on the VH1 show that not only did she feel it was the only paid work she could get, but that she had to get drunk to do it.
Tears: Amy Fisher broke down on Celebrity Rehab last night as she admitted she felt forced into doing porn

Tears: Amy Fisher broke down on Celebrity Rehab last night as she admitted she felt forced into doing porn
No choice: The star became known as the the Long Island Lolita in 1992 when, aged 17, she shot her married lover’s wife in the face

No choice: The star became known as the the Long Island Lolita in 1992 when, aged 17, she shot her married lover’s wife in the face

Despair: Former Lost star Bai Ling is struggling with her emotions in the Celebrity Rehab facility too

Despair: Former Lost star Bai Ling is struggling with her emotions in the Celebrity Rehab facility too

Amy shot and severely wounded Mary Jo Buttafuoco, the wife of her lover Joey Buttafuoco, after shooting her in the face.

However, Mary survived – and was able to identify her attacker.

Amy served six years in prison after pleading guilty to first-degree aggravated assault.


* Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe reveals he has given up drinking after long battle with alcohol
* Kelly Osbourne forced to join Common People at Pulp show after she’s turned away from VIP area – until Alexa intervenes

After her parole in 1999, Fisher became a journalist and writer, before embarking on a career as a pornographic actress in 2007.

She explained: ‘I make adult films, and I look at it as they are offering employment – I need employment, no one else will give me employment.’

‘I just go with it – I don’t know what else to do.’

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I saw that too.
This is beyond sick and twisted and perverted. I don’t have cable either but that Dr. Drew must realize that these “celebrities” are addicted to ATTENTION. They are narcissists and sociopaths, so giving them more ATTENTION is not a cure! It’s the problem! You can’t rehab a narcissist from his need for attention by giving him more media coverage. that’s insane! Dr. Drew must be the most conniving manipulative and unethical human being on the planet. A total hypocrite.


It is NOT “REHAB”—– it is ENTERTAINMENT FOR THE BRAIN DEAD who watch this sort of carp! It is more fake than Professional Wrestling! LOL ROTFLMAO

It is Jerry Springer on meth! LOL It is the side show at the circus with the “Lizard lady” and the kid with 6 fingers, and the man with no legs, it is something different for people to pay money to stare at and say “thank God it’s not me!”

It’s “Doctor Phil” and all the other pseudo therapists who are on television….I just love the one where Sarah Ferguson is telling all her dirt in a book and on a tv show…LIKE, WHOOOOOO CARES? The only problem the woman ever had is lack of self control and good sense…at least MaryJo’s book has a “moral to the story” and can help someone else (hopefully) avoid becoming or staying victim to a psychopath.

I think Sarah Ferguson showed what she REALLY is when she tried to sell access to her X husband for big bucks. She is selfish and dishonest and egotistical.


justabouthealed: Good point!

‘…and here is another thing one therapist pointed out to me. You already know how to feel desirable and fantastic without anyone loving you because he never did really love you!!!!!!!!!! ‘

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