Finally—the word “sociopath” is being applied to a high-profile case that doesn’t involve a serial killer.
Mary Jo Buttafuoco, wife of Joey Buttafuoco, shot in the head back in 1992 by Amy Fisher, the “Long Island Lolita,” is telling her story. And the first words of the introduction are, “Joey Buttafuoco is a sociopath.”
Getting It Through My Thick Skull—Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know, has just been released. Why did it take Mary Jo 17 years to write the book? Because it was only in 2007 that she realized the truth about Joey Buttafuoco.
Perhaps you remember the case. Mary Jo got shot. The police said her husband was having an affair with her assailant, who was 16 at the time. Joey Buttafuoco denied the affair, and Mary Jo believed him, defended him, and rallied friends and family around him. But the cops were right and she was wrong—her husband was sleeping with the teenager. Then Joey Buttafuoco said it was all Amy Fisher’s fault—and Mary Jo believed him again.
Mary Jo describes the craziness of life with her husband: how he continued to reel her back in, how she coped with the ordeal (she became addicted to painkillers) and how she finally recovered—from the addiction and from Joey. The book is co-written by Julie McCarron, a well-known celebrity collaborator, so it’s an easy read.
Mary Jo Buttafuoco has launched her media tour with an appearance today on Good Morning America. See the coverage:
Mary Jo Buttafuoco speaks out about her ex-husband Joey, the “Sociopath”
Excerpt: Getting It Through My Thick Skull/p>
In her book, this is the message Mary Jo conveys:
I wouldn’t wish marriage or an intimate relationship of any kind to a sociopath on anyone; my hope is that this book will inspire others to “get it” and get out far sooner than I did. I promise there is a great new life on the other side!
Mary Jo actually contacted me when she was starting her book, and we spoke on the phone. Now the book is done, and I hope she gets a lot of publicity. I hope a lot of people buy it—especially people who really don’t understand how many sociopaths are in the world, and what they look like. Maybe, just maybe, this book will be a big step in raising public awareness about sociopaths.
Getting It Through My Thick Skull is available now on Amazon.com.
T NEWMAN wrote: “We could curse them all day long and tell them how they made us feel and because THEY can’t feel…”
Thank you for stating it that way. Reading it gave me a welcome “aha” moment. Of course, he didn’t hear me because he couldn’t feel! DUH!
No, I sure don’t want to deal with your EX — and who has now trapped and duped the young girl you (we) tried to save.
Getting it Through My Thick Skull…
I just read a news article this AM that cited scientific evidence that use of tanning beds was as carcinogenic as smoking cigarettes.
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=20601124&sid=aMKx2v2.45a0
Now what’s that got to do with Sociopaths? Where is she going with this? Maybe she shouldn’t post before she drinks her third cup of coffee! (Chuckle)
Any way, I confess that I was actually considering using a tanning bed for the first time last week. I’ve been trying to look a bit more attractive for my husband lately. I reasoned that tanning beds must be safe, because they’ve been on the market for so long, and they’re practically everywhere.
Looking back on my state of delusion as I considered using the tanning bed to look a little cuter in shorts, I have to shake my head at my own naivette. When will I get it through my thick skull?
The sociopaths, narcissists and psychopaths I’ve known operated in plain sight, in positions of “leadership” and “respectability”. People squashed any concerns they had about these people’s behavior because the S/N/P was “accepted by everyone.” Surely everything was OK.
Not! We’ve got to use our brains and trust our instincts. Otherwise we’re suckers.
OMG! You’re right…it is a little off topic but I’ve owned and used a tanning bed for years AND I’m a smoker!!!! I wonder how long I have left? I’m doomed! I was already feeling a little depressed!
TNewman,
Oh boy.
I’m really sorry I opened my fat mouth. I’m sure you’ll be fine.
I know plenty of old duffers who are toasted to a permanent dried apple brown and smoke like chimneys. You’ll probably live forever.
Chuckle! This is all over the news here in England too. I sat in bed this morning watching it and checking my moles! I once used a tanning bed, but I have for many years been a fan of ‘pale and interesting’. I will stick to my pale and interesting gut for sure from now on… now if i could just quit smoking… I might stand a chance:)
Thanks for the warning…I was actually warming my tanning bed up when I saw this. Why haven’t we heard this before now? Tanning beds have been around for how long now…25 years or longer? I know they cause a lot of damage to the skin and can contribute to skin cancer but have they connected the beds to other types of cancer? Why are we talking about this? All of us have already survived a type of “cancer” that nearly sucked the life right out of us! I’m certainly not trying to be flippant if anyone on this board is suffering from cancer. I lost my dearest aunt to lung cancer several years ago and STILL smoke like a freight train!
Guys, I think EC’s analogy is a pretty good one, and not off topic at all, really.
“Everyone’s doing it” or “they wouldnt’ be for sale if they weren’t SAFE” DUH! Look how much damage stuff does before it is deemed “unsafe” and then it iis taken off the market, or like alcohol and cigarettes, addicts can still get it legally even though it is KNOWN to be bad because there are so many of them.
“Public” opinion of a person is just the same. They do a few little things “bad” like the tanning bed causes WRINKLES and skin cancer, but oh how pretty it makes you look. I never used a tanning bed, but I have BAKEd in the sun for years. Went to othe doctor yesterday to have a skin cancer off the back of my hand, got one off my nose a month ago. Can’t do a darned thing about the sun spots and wrinkles. I KNEW from my grandmother to keep covered up, but I didn’t do it, so now I pay the price, but “everyone else was doing it” so I didn’t listen to GOOD ADVICE to stay covered.
I’ve been warned not to have anything to do with certain people who (in the end turned out to clearly be psychopaths) but I did it anyway cause at the time it “felt okay” and “some others (also) thought they were okay. I’ve warned others off the Ps but the people I warned would not listen because it “felt better” to believe what they wanted to.
Believing the TRUTH of something requires that we TAKE action, where “believing there is good in everyone” doesn’t require us to feel unsafe or take any ACTION.
Rat poison is 98% pure corn meal, the rat BELIEVES THE LIE, thinks he is getting a “free meal” and ends up dying because he BELIEVED A LIE. When we believe the lies, that belief can leave us as dead as the rat who believed his supper was pure!
“The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off” (Donna Andersen)
Elizabeth- Just a thought, on the tanning bed issue- I stopped years ago from tanning, but do the spray on-called mystic tan here- where you stand in a booth and get a “fake” spray of color. It comes off in a few days to a week-by eventually fading- but from what I know of it, is a safe alternative and no “leather” skin or dried apple brown as you said. lol!
I have been working on my own book for the last year about my experience and what I learned. I too googled the word “sociopathy” and encountered so much I did not know. I plan to self-publish my book next month and my hope is that it too will help others to understand. More importantly, I hope that I can show how my experience was truly a blessing in disguise. I am a much better person now and much happier. I needed to go through what I did to get to the place I am in now.
Good Morning!!!!! Wake up” So TRUE!
This morning as I enjoyed my coffee I watched Good Morning America, a familiar face was speaking from her heart about her ex sociopath husband” remember Mary Jo Buttafuoco? The woman who was shot in the face by a sixteen year old Amy Fisher? Remember how her husband totally denied having an affair with Amy, how his wife Mary Jo stood by him and supported him”. Why? Because he was so darn good at lying and believing his own lies that he convinced her. The police told her that her husband was sleeping with the teen, but Joey denied everything”. Mary Jo believed the man she loved, ” because he had the charm and the ability to lie and not think a thing about it”. HE had no conscience, he didn’t care who he hurt, and he would never take the blame” the blame with a sociopath is always placed on those around them” they aren’t capable of taking responsibility”. WOW”.
There is no doubt in my mind, I have come in contact with a sociopath” not that I am capable of making a diagnosis but I am capable of reading and seeing for myself the actions that are listed as typical sociopath behaviors. I am always amazed at the times I was told, that they only needed my faith and trust in them. After listening to the same LIES, and yes that’s what they are when it is not the truth” the realization dawns that this person can not keep their word. When you point out the lies, and they laugh in your face, you soon realize that they are aware and are using this to their advantage. They yell at you and tell you that you are the one who has caused them problems” Problems? No, you see the one thing they don’t want you to see is… The TRUTH.
I laugh now, because I see the big picture.. I see that a sociopath will not accept anything but the “truth—.but it is their “truth”. What is truth when it is clouded by a mind that can lie as easily as they breathe? A sociopath is usually a nice looking person, they easily draw people into their circle and with tons of charm and charisma they easily pursue anyone they want. They may feel the world owes them whatever they can easily talk someone into helping them acquire” Does it bother them that they are spinning a yarn that is no where truthful? Not in the least, they only have their eyes on the prize. It may be money, or it could be material things” or something as simple and heartbreaking as seeing how many people they can have love them”.
The sad part of all of this is” the sociopath isn’t loved for the REAL person they are, because they become whatever they need to be. When the unsuspecting victim of their “attack” is finally aware of what is taking place the sociopath becomes violent if confronted. They may strike out with words or as the information I’ve read has stated with violent tendencies. The “I love You” one minute becomes vile and ugly words that may shock you to hear. But they will always place the BLAME on the real victim, they will never take the blame for doing any of this to themselves.
I have to applaud Mary Joe Buttafuoco for standing by her man. She loved therefore she believed. It took this woman 17 years to realize what others could see in Joey. Why? Sociopaths are good, they play on your insecurities and they charm you. They tell you how much you mean to them, how much they love you, and IF only you’d continue to have faith in them, you’ll see.. They’ll keep their word”. I have to wonder how many men and women are constantly hearing from a sociopath the same things that kept Mary Jo with Joey—. When all is said and done” you mean as much to a sociopath as the tissue they use to wipe themselves”. They use you for the purpose they have in mind and toss you aside to find a fresh victim to begin all over again”.
I have to hope that with Mary Jo’s writing of this book, that the condition known as a sociopath is brought to life. Maybe people’s eyes will be opened as with autism, FMS, and other rarely recognized disorders that indeed there is a problem that needs to be addressed. These people need help, and need to stop being allowed to destroy unsuspecting victims. There’s nothing worse than the sick feeling deep in your soul when you realize that the man/woman who has been telling you how much they love you are incapable of feelings. Emotional and financial rape of others will never cause them remorse, they are incapable of feeling” or seeing the wrong.
Thank you Good Morning America, thank you Mary Jo.. And thank you Lovefraud for all the information you have printed, reported and shared to open the eyes of those whose only fault was believing the lies of someone who could care less”. It was never our fault after all”it wasn’t us doing anything to the sociopath, it was them doing it to us. So we have a choice, do we fight back? Or do we run in shame as they’d like and never bring to light the horrors we suffered in taking them at their “useless word”? As for me” I’ll stand on the TRUTH” and know that through faith God will deal in his time and at his will. I believe, I have faith, and yes” I have learned, words are more than not cheap, when they come from the lips of a sociopath”.But one thing I know for sure is, I am not alone,.. There are plenty who have been used by sociopaths”. Love does render you temporarily blind,” in time the TRUTH is easy to see.. .clear as a bright sunny day.