Finally—the word “sociopath” is being applied to a high-profile case that doesn’t involve a serial killer.
Mary Jo Buttafuoco, wife of Joey Buttafuoco, shot in the head back in 1992 by Amy Fisher, the “Long Island Lolita,” is telling her story. And the first words of the introduction are, “Joey Buttafuoco is a sociopath.”
Getting It Through My Thick Skull—Why I Stayed, What I Learned, and What Millions of People Involved with Sociopaths Need to Know, has just been released. Why did it take Mary Jo 17 years to write the book? Because it was only in 2007 that she realized the truth about Joey Buttafuoco.
Perhaps you remember the case. Mary Jo got shot. The police said her husband was having an affair with her assailant, who was 16 at the time. Joey Buttafuoco denied the affair, and Mary Jo believed him, defended him, and rallied friends and family around him. But the cops were right and she was wrong—her husband was sleeping with the teenager. Then Joey Buttafuoco said it was all Amy Fisher’s fault—and Mary Jo believed him again.
Mary Jo describes the craziness of life with her husband: how he continued to reel her back in, how she coped with the ordeal (she became addicted to painkillers) and how she finally recovered—from the addiction and from Joey. The book is co-written by Julie McCarron, a well-known celebrity collaborator, so it’s an easy read.
Mary Jo Buttafuoco has launched her media tour with an appearance today on Good Morning America. See the coverage:
Mary Jo Buttafuoco speaks out about her ex-husband Joey, the “Sociopath”
Excerpt: Getting It Through My Thick Skull/p>
In her book, this is the message Mary Jo conveys:
I wouldn’t wish marriage or an intimate relationship of any kind to a sociopath on anyone; my hope is that this book will inspire others to “get it” and get out far sooner than I did. I promise there is a great new life on the other side!
Mary Jo actually contacted me when she was starting her book, and we spoke on the phone. Now the book is done, and I hope she gets a lot of publicity. I hope a lot of people buy it—especially people who really don’t understand how many sociopaths are in the world, and what they look like. Maybe, just maybe, this book will be a big step in raising public awareness about sociopaths.
Getting It Through My Thick Skull is available now on Amazon.com.
Dear Catherine,
I wish everyone of us could write a book and get even one-percent of the publicity that maryJo will get, it would change the world. Her case is no “worse” or better than ours even though she got shot, at least she lived to tell the tale and did eventually GET IT what she was dealing with. I’m also glad her son gets it about his dad as well. (rather than be a chip off the old block!)
I am excited about her book mainly because she will get the PUBLICITY that ALL of us DESERVE and can’t get because we didn’t make the CNN news with our stories of horror, doesn’t mean our stories weren’t as “painful” though. ANYTHING or anyone that can bring PUBLIC AND MEDIA ATTENTION to the word sociopath as a NON-serial killer, as just the “guy next door” is ACES in my book.
For her own sake I am glad she got it and is apparently healing, but also for ALL THE SUFFERING SOULS THAT ARE STILL MARRIED TO THE “JOEYs” of this world!
Sharialso,
Awesome post! Thanks so much for sharing your insight and hard earned wisdom with LF.
Your eye’s are wide open, able to view the world with awareness, crystal clarity. The only way to view our world is by being a die hard realist with a liberal splash of optimism. Hey, it works for me! Every day…
See, as I have diligently worked on my own past emotional/psychological baggage over the last 4 years, my confidence in who I am has grown exponentially. I am content and serene, totally comfortable in my own lovely skin.
And with this newly discovered confidence in who I am as a good, decent, caring woman but also strong with unswerving conviction, values, beliefs I am quite able to weed out toxic people sometimes within a very short time, like 5 minutes, I kid you not. My intuition, my intolerance, impatience for inexcusable bad behavior are rockin and rollin! So true!
I don’t suffer fools any longer. And when I say fools, I am pinning the tail on the PDI donkeys. THEY are the fools as I cannot nor will not imagine an existence as devoid of depth as those creatures possess. Not my life, no sirree bobby boy!!
I have learned to compartmentalize people. Not make snap unjustifed judgments, that’s not what I’m saying at all. If I consider said person that I meet who might possibly be toxic, exploitive, selfish, childish (as indicative of their behavior)…BAM! In my “No Contact” “Will ignore indefinitely” tidy little self preservation box they shall go.
I mean, really, do any of us wonderful people on LF wish to continue pursuing the train wreck that is PDIs after fluently educating ourselves about them? After we worked so hard to beneficially heal ourselves from the past damage? I say…”Heck no! We won’t go!”
To all you peeps still struggling through the morass keep on pluggin. Stay on that most liberating path of healing. Never give up on yourself because you most certainly DO matter. You are most certainly valuable, priceless even.
I know this because Jesus tells me so!!
Peace, Love and Joy to all…
🙂
Dear Sharialso,
I second jane’s opinon of your post! AWESOME, well put and very true. Welcome!!!!!!
Janie, my dear sweet friend, you are so awesome, too, and I have watched your progress for so long, as you ahve been there to support and encourage me and I so appreciate your presence here on LF, not only for me, but for the compassion and wisdom you have shared with others.
I am so proud of and for MaryJo and glad that she was willing to bare her soul for the world to see to expose ALL the sociopaths out there. It gives me hope that the word is spreading like a giant search light that will expose the sociopaths and abusers. as the Bible says, EVIL loves to hide in the dark, but exposing them to THE LIGHT OF RECOGNITION shrivels them like a “vampire”!!!! ONWARD AND UPWARD, TOWANDA MARYJO!!!!
Oxy,
Thank you so much for the HARD LINE I needed it.
I have been thinking about this a lot lately. My therapist said I was putting people into the role of mother, rescuer.
I was a bit confused at first b/c with my P, I was the rescuer. Now I was trying to figure out why my friend was treating me the same way my mom did; negatively supportive ie: “If you go back to him I’ll never speak to you again… will go NC with you” (Mom) “If you go back to him you will never be welcome back here. You’ll have to find another attorney b/c this one’s gonna think you’re crazy!” (GF)
I was used to this behavior with my mom, b/c she’s been this way my whole life (not exactly) and since the A even more so.
But this was the first time I had heard/seen such freakishly similar behavior from a friend. I wanted to cry. Talking to my therapist, I did. Then called my mom and cried more.
Sorry for the rant. What I am trying to sau is that I GET that I AM the one in control here. At some-point with is entirely up to me. I must Take control. No matter who I run to for help, or whos shoulder I cry on, they cannot handle my P for me. It is completely within my control. I just need to step up and take it.
Now lets see if I can put knowledge into practice.
Hi, All:
Just wanted to pop in fast — I’m flying off to GB and the Emerald Isle in a few hours, so I’ll be off the boards for a week or so. Thought I’d escape the dreadful weather in NYC –rainy and humid and go to a place which is — rainy and cold. Ah, well — the good friends and better scotch and Irish whiskey should make everything look good again.
Be well, my friends.
Matt
Bo Voyage Matt! I hpe you are takin the new crush with you! Then it won’t matter if its rainy and cold! xo
GO Banana !:
Now you are moving fast! Thats where I am up to…trying to put all this knowledge into practise!
Have fun, Matt! Bon Voyage!
Oxyspecialiscious–Love ya, babe! You know this already but wanted to shout it out again! Reminders of appreciation feel so wonderful, don’t they?
xxooxxooxxooxxooxxoo…to infinity and beyond!!1!!
🙂
Matt –
Cheers! TowandO! You go guy!!!!!
Lately, been having to ask myself…do I want to live in the moment or live in the past?? And I TRY to make the choice of living in the moment WAY MORE TIMES than I choose to live in the past. Granted I had to “live in the past” for a while to get answers to my questions and get clarity and begin healing…but I still fight myself with the urge to go back (in my mind) to my past with him…
I seek balance… I yearn for balance…it seems to be this “state” that I reach for but is at times still so far out of reach… I wont give up, I know I have the power to put it all behind me…but the process sometimes feels like forever…I just have to continue to focus on how far Ive come and the fact that every person is their own entity – making choices based on their past and present and future — some people are good for me and others (x tox) are just bad for me in my life. BASED ON THIER CHOICES. ughhh, set backs are buzz killers to the max!!
And then Matt to the rescue showing us if we continue to work on ourselves and focus on healthy relationships and live in the moment – it is possible to get to a better place and back to a place of balance!!!!
thanks Matt…
Dear Banana,
You are so RIGHT!!! Only YOU can save yourself. We can be here to cheer you on, or tell you you are “stuuped” but we can’t live your life for you, and we can’t take the CONSEQUENCES of your decisions away from you.
We are all adults here, and each of us is responsible to our own self for our decisions. Remember “Biddy’ who came here, (she is married to TNewman’s cheating X-P) and she went to TNewman for “advice” and came here for “advice” but in the end, she decided to FALL FOR his LIES AND TRY TO RESCUE HIM—AGAIN.!!!
We can’t stop her, she must make her own decision based on what she believes (or wants to believe) and if she can’t see the trees for the forest (of truth and evidence) we can’t give her “sight.”
You CAN take charge of your life, but it is UP TO YOU. Your X can’t hook you in if YOU DO NOT ALLOW IT. You have seen the EVIDENSE that he is TOXIC (whatever the “diagnosis” would be) he will always be toxic, he will always lie—and you have seen the PROOF OF THIS. If you want to ignore this proof, notbhing I say or nothing anyone else says will make any difference. Your GF can quit talking to you if you go back (that’s her right to not be your friend if you do things she feels are unhealthy) She might also not be your friend if you started robbing banks either! LOL
Banana, dear, you can do whatever you set your mind to, we are stronger than any of us give ourselves credit for most of the time. There will be good days and days when you doubt yourself, but on those days just come here and ask me to “hit you on the head with my cyber cast iron skillet TO GET YOUR ATTENTION” and I will be glad to BOINK! you!!!! LOL ((((hugs)))))