BOOK REVIEW: Getting It Through My Thick Skull

Hey, I just thought of something. Well, I can’t take all the credit. It’s something my counselor said awhile ago and it just now hit me after reading blindsided’s last blog….I will try to explain this as best I can:
So, “I still have not fully accepted that the person I thought I knew never was”… This is very true for me as well. Instead of trying to make amends with the Non-existence of this person we THOUGHT we knew, I thought: OH, Dear, I learned a lot from that period of time. I learned about me: that I know how to love. I had experienced the best shrink and the best friend and the best illusion of all. I know now that if it’s too good to be true, it probably isn’t good at all. I also have learned that while the person speaking the words was very flowed, the words weren’t. I incorporated the meaning, it enriched me, and this is something (though he did not aim for) that cannot be taken away. So, to all who had and lost the best pretender – let’s celebrate the feeling we had, let’s incorporate the words we heard and now – in the absence of the P, let’s repeat these words to ourselves. They used these words to disarm and manipulate us, we will use them to strengthen and rebuilt what was lost.
I tell you, it’s amusing to think that their plan was to destroy, but in our desire to focus on the positive, we can use their own ploy to rebuild ourselves. Down with the recent memories, let’s bathe in what it was while we were charmed. And – yes, let’s celebrate that it’s over, because living in a fog is like living in a state of REM sleep. What do you think?

I agree with you. I am trying to make the best of the worst situation any of us could ever imagine ourselves in. The Nazis used to offer chocolate candy to starving kids from behind the barb wire. If the kids went for the treat, they’d get shot. It was a “time well spent” for the self – entertaining fascists. There is nothing wrong with a bit of the chocolate candy now and again. It’s getting shot that we try to avoid. So, musing on the taste may be well within our reach. I like this: “the best fake friend I’ve ever had”. Did you have an imaginary friend growing up?
I did not, but I hear that they can be a lot of fun too. Let’s think of the ITs as imaginary. Then, just as dual they are, we’ll be able to respond to the Good that we are capable of incorporating and the bad that we wish to overcome. Hell, I can no longer imagine my X or remember him, because every time I do, my mind skips to all the dichotomies and refuses to incorporate them into one person. So, I choose and pick because I want to be in control. If we make ourselves smile, our brains will think they are happy. So, I smile. Bet, it isn’t the response he thinks he’d evoked.

I totally agree with Learnthelesson: as evil as they are, they are still human. Doing so much pretending gets boring and they want to go for another act. It’s like being an actor all their life. I found – through these posts – that often 2-3 years is the max that they can handle. 2 years is scientifically how long it takes for the “love hormones” to change. So, the crazy passion is out of the system, no need to pretend and no matter what you’d throw at their feet, it’s ON to the next “great and wonderful pastures”. sometimes, when I do recall my X, I realize that it was like having a pet in the house: he gave me all the unconditional love when I was around. He was just missing a wagging tail. It’s the rest of the day that he did not seem to care. But, then again, the pet turned into a vicious predator when he threatened to kill me. Yeap, Celebrate. For, it is good that you have not lost more than the 18months on this loser.

Thank you!! If I could only inspire one 🙂 …..
That’s what it’s all about. The Ps will never get it. And – imagine – nothing is asked in return, 😉