Dr. Eve Wood is a practicing psychiatrist and an author of motivational books such as There’s Always Help; There’s Always Hope and 10 Steps to Take Charge of Your Emotional Life. Her motto is, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Now she’s written a new book that she wished was available when her own life fell apart: The Gift of Betrayal—How to Heal Your Life When Your World Explodes, available in the Lovefraud Store.
Dr. Wood’s husband of 27 years betrayed her. For legal reasons, she doesn’t tell exactly what he did, except to say the magnitude of the betrayal was truly shocking and she could have died. Reading through the lines, it sounds like she was involved with a sociopath, and we all know what that’s like.
So what was she to do? Dr. Wood believes what she wrote in her other books, and decided that she wanted to heal, move forward and build a new life. She writes:
“You have a choice. You can see this betrayal as a curse or a blessing. You can make it about him, or you can make it about you. You can be the victim, or you can take charge. You can grow or shrink. You can heal your life or shrivel up and die. You can choose light, joy and love ”¦ or remain bitter and alone.”
The process was painful, and it took time. She didn’t start out trying to forgive her husband. Dr. Wood writes:
“Most books about betrayal focus on forgiveness, on forgiving the offender and yourself. But I think the attention of forgiving is misguided. When you’ve been burned, you need to treat your wound. You must figure out how you got scorched in the first place and learn to heal.”
The book is divided into 14 chapters, which Dr. Wood calls “lessons.” They are:
- What is betrayal, how does it feel, and where can it take you?
- You have a choice: Do you seize your power or become a victim?
- Could you have been married to (or involved with) a sociopath?
- How did you get here, and what are you meant to learn from this?
- What is the role of forgiveness in healing?
- Trust in your ability to create your heart’s desire
- Take action to create the life you really want
- Slow down: Examine and honor all your involvements
- Take risks, try new things ”¦ and pay attention to how you feel
- Let your female friends help you
- Learn what men have to offer and what they cannot do for you
- Invite joy, pleasure and passion into your life
- Stay present to the gift of the moment
- Celebrate you newfound freedom, fulfillment and fabulous good fortune
This book is written for women who have been betrayed by men. Dr. Wood specifically emphasizes that if the man was a sociopath, the only way to heal is to leave the relationship. She states that sociopaths destroy people. However, she doesn’t talk about how to recover from severe psychological issues that may result from these relationships, such as post-traumatic stress disorder.
This book is for the woman who has processed the shock of the betrayal by the sociopath and is ready, however shakily, to rebuild her life. The Gift of Betrayal provides a roadmap for doing it.
The Gift of Betrayal—How to Heal Your Life When Your World Explodes
Rosa
LearntheLesson:
I think all that back and forth with Good Grief yesterday has made me LOOPY.
I am serious! That boy is so “in love” with that girlfriend of his.
He is like my little brother at this point.
And he just will not stop “playing with matches”.
Jim in Indiana USA
LOL…Matt, Rosa, and learnEDthelesson…I really enjoy just reading and not posting. I’d have liked to weigh in on Good Grief’s situation…but, lacking as I am in social skills, I had nothing to contribute. I’m out of comedic “material”, but you three definitely are on a roll!
The kidney thing….
I might need to sell one soon, and I got two…what are healthy ones going for on eBay?
Thanks for brightening my day!
been-a-year-now
Talking about the pounding heart reminded me of an article I
saw and tore out the other day. “Researchers at the Institute
of HeartMath (?) claim to have discovered more than 40,000 neurons,
or brain cells, in heart tissue, fueling speculation that the heart
may be capable of intuitive guidance.” For what its worth,
I thought that was so interesting. Everyone talks about ‘red flags’ but how we ignored them. Maybe now I can blame my heart ——not enough neurons were present to help me make better choices! Anyhow, very interesting.
and how we knew something was wrong
been-a-year-now
last line accidental, sorry………….
looking up
Thank for all the comments…..I know I have to get out. I am ready to get out..He is just soooo good with it all. Like for instance he didnt hear from me yesterday bc I had a hectic day at work. But to him it would just show common courtesy to atleast call him and let him know me and my child is okay..not his child (just wanted to put that out there) He just paid my phone bill so I know he will use that against me. Then like I said about his kidney issues…”we cant talk even as friends…after all we have been thru..I need you,
Rosa
LookingUp:
Indiana Jim just reminded me of something very important.
I am so far past my relationship with the sociopath boyfriend, that I can now look back and laugh.
I know he will never hurt me again.
But, you are still in the “eye of the storm”, and your situation is still very serious. There is NOTHING funny about where you are RIGHT NOW in your relationship.
The profiles and situations of sociopaths are all so similar, so we all have something in common here. That makes it easy to joke around a little.
Anyway, LookingUP, hopefully you will be out of your unhealthy relationship one day soon. And you will be able to look back and laugh, as well.
P.S. He’s paying bills for you. That’s tough. He’s definitely got a hold on you.
Jim in Indiana USA
looking up…Rosa’s right. We’ve been there, we’ve been betrayed, lied to, and cried. Sorry you have to be here, but glad you found it, and it’s a good place. We’ll all look forward to the time you find freedom and laughter. It takes a while. Take care of yourself, and your child. Our prayers are with you.
looking up
yes Rosa he puts money in my account. Someone once told me that is how he controls me. bc even if we arent speaking he will still do…he says bc he cares and knows I struggle as a single parent living paycheck to paycheck.
looking up
oh says he would rather do without then make me or my child…see how that can sound so nice…and the actions seem nice too…i guess that is where my confusion comes to play
Rosa
Oh, that is so tough.
I don’t know what to tell you. Are you sure he has these other women?
I cannot tell you what to do.
I am not a parent. I have never been in your shoes.
That would be so hard for me, too.