BOOK REVIEW: The Gift of Betrayal

Dr. Eve Wood is a practicing psychiatrist and an author of motivational books such as There’s Always Help; There’s Always Hope and 10 Steps to Take Charge of Your Emotional Life. Her motto is, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Now she’s written a new book that she wished was available when her own life fell apart: The Gift of Betrayal—How to Heal Your Life When Your World Explodes, available in the Lovefraud Store.

Dr. Wood’s husband of 27 years betrayed her. For legal reasons, she doesn’t tell exactly what he did, except to say the magnitude of the betrayal was truly shocking and she could have died. Reading through the lines, it sounds like she was involved with a sociopath, and we all know what that’s like.

So what was she to do? Dr. Wood believes what she wrote in her other books, and decided that she wanted to heal, move forward and build a new life. She writes:

“You have a choice. You can see this betrayal as a curse or a blessing. You can make it about him, or you can make it about you. You can be the victim, or you can take charge. You can grow or shrink. You can heal your life or shrivel up and die. You can choose light, joy and love ”¦ or remain bitter and alone.”

The process was painful, and it took time. She didn’t start out trying to forgive her husband. Dr. Wood writes:

“Most books about betrayal focus on forgiveness, on forgiving the offender and yourself. But I think the attention of forgiving is misguided. When you’ve been burned, you need to treat your wound. You must figure out how you got scorched in the first place and learn to heal.”

The book is divided into 14 chapters, which Dr. Wood calls “lessons.” They are:

1. What is betrayal, how does it feel, and where can it take you?
2. You have a choice: Do you seize your power or become a victim?
3. Could you have been married to (or involved with) a sociopath?
4. How did you get here, and what are you meant to learn from this?
5. What is the role of forgiveness in healing?
6. Trust in your ability to create your heart’s desire
7. Take action to create the life you really want
8. Slow down: Examine and honor all your involvements
9. Take risks, try new things ”¦ and pay attention to how you feel
10. Let your female friends help you
11. Learn what men have to offer and what they cannot do for you
12. Invite joy, pleasure and passion into your life
13. Stay present to the gift of the moment
14. Celebrate you newfound freedom, fulfillment and fabulous good fortune

This book is written for women who have been betrayed by men. Dr. Wood specifically emphasizes that if the man was a sociopath, the only way to heal is to leave the relationship. She states that sociopaths destroy people. However, she doesn’t talk about how to recover from severe psychological issues that may result from these relationships, such as post-traumatic stress disorder.

This book is for the woman who has processed the shock of the betrayal by the sociopath and is ready, however shakily, to rebuild her life. The Gift of Betrayal provides a roadmap for doing it.

The Gift of Betrayal—How to Heal Your Life When Your World Explodes