Dr. Eve Wood is a practicing psychiatrist and an author of motivational books such as There’s Always Help; There’s Always Hope and 10 Steps to Take Charge of Your Emotional Life. Her motto is, “Where there’s a will, there’s a way.” Now she’s written a new book that she wished was available when her own life fell apart: The Gift of Betrayal—How to Heal Your Life When Your World Explodes, available in the Lovefraud Store.
Dr. Wood’s husband of 27 years betrayed her. For legal reasons, she doesn’t tell exactly what he did, except to say the magnitude of the betrayal was truly shocking and she could have died. Reading through the lines, it sounds like she was involved with a sociopath, and we all know what that’s like.
So what was she to do? Dr. Wood believes what she wrote in her other books, and decided that she wanted to heal, move forward and build a new life. She writes:
“You have a choice. You can see this betrayal as a curse or a blessing. You can make it about him, or you can make it about you. You can be the victim, or you can take charge. You can grow or shrink. You can heal your life or shrivel up and die. You can choose light, joy and love ”¦ or remain bitter and alone.”
The process was painful, and it took time. She didn’t start out trying to forgive her husband. Dr. Wood writes:
“Most books about betrayal focus on forgiveness, on forgiving the offender and yourself. But I think the attention of forgiving is misguided. When you’ve been burned, you need to treat your wound. You must figure out how you got scorched in the first place and learn to heal.”
The book is divided into 14 chapters, which Dr. Wood calls “lessons.” They are:
- What is betrayal, how does it feel, and where can it take you?
- You have a choice: Do you seize your power or become a victim?
- Could you have been married to (or involved with) a sociopath?
- How did you get here, and what are you meant to learn from this?
- What is the role of forgiveness in healing?
- Trust in your ability to create your heart’s desire
- Take action to create the life you really want
- Slow down: Examine and honor all your involvements
- Take risks, try new things ”¦ and pay attention to how you feel
- Let your female friends help you
- Learn what men have to offer and what they cannot do for you
- Invite joy, pleasure and passion into your life
- Stay present to the gift of the moment
- Celebrate you newfound freedom, fulfillment and fabulous good fortune
This book is written for women who have been betrayed by men. Dr. Wood specifically emphasizes that if the man was a sociopath, the only way to heal is to leave the relationship. She states that sociopaths destroy people. However, she doesn’t talk about how to recover from severe psychological issues that may result from these relationships, such as post-traumatic stress disorder.
This book is for the woman who has processed the shock of the betrayal by the sociopath and is ready, however shakily, to rebuild her life. The Gift of Betrayal provides a roadmap for doing it.
The Gift of Betrayal—How to Heal Your Life When Your World Explodes
Dear nic, I’m not sure why Ps want so many kids, and it seems like they seem to be that way. A friend’s daughter is a P, and her 4th one was born and they tried to get her to tie her tubes, she was NOT RAISING ANY OF HER CHILDREN, HER MOTHER WAS, and she said “No, I might want more kids some day”—her 5th was born in prison! She finally got her tubes tied. I think her kids are by 4 different men. The father of her oldest two had 4 kids by age 21 by THREE women. He was a P for sure, and his father as well—his father had 11 kids!
She is STILL not raising any of her kids, but she is SO proud of having 5 kids! GO FIGURE! heck, after labor and delivery on 2 I was ready to hang it up, I did NOT have fun with labor and delivery! LOL
But they don’t care for the kids emotionally or many times not any way.
I know another P male who has 6 kids (he’s about 30) and two women preg at the same time, now, one with TWINS! So when they are born it will make 9 kids, by who knows how many different women. WTF?
I think the Ps and S s See on tv and movies and in the world what normal looks like. Maybe they marry and have kids to use as stage props to appear like a regular person.
Also the more kids the more public assistance
they recieve. Could be the $$$$ . who knows
Nic:
Sorry but the reason they want more kids is for control of everyone and for narcissistic supply. I am sorry to say this but there is no way I would hand my child over to a crocodile and his nest of crocodiles in a billion years. And I would rather sweat it out with no airconditioner than go through the fires of hell that you DEFINITELY will as this saga unfolds. You have run from the monster right back into his arms. And handed him your child over to boot. I’m sorry to have to say it, but ARE YOU INSANE????????
P.S. There is not one darned thing “funny” about him taking your daughter. You are selfish to give her to him. Mark my words.
Libelle:
I too was bought up by two psychopaths. My older brother was groomed to abuse me, which he did with relish. I was the girl, I was the scapegoat. To this day they continue to give him EVERTHING ( ten acres of prime land, three houses (one burnt down by his girlfriend druggo so they built a better one for him), a huge recording studio (he is a druggie, alcoholic psychopath), pay all his bills, and I could go on ad nauseum. The story is disgusting…they gave me ZILCH and the worst part is they rub my nose in it EVERYTIME I see them. I could tell you stories of the three of them and their abuse that would make your ears curl.
But I believe a pschopath is a psychopath is a psychopath.
What I mean is they don’t see their children as PEOPLE!! i.e.as caring, loving, vulnerable souls that need to be taught how to love and have compassion and boundaries etc.
They see them as OBJECTS for their narcissitic supply. So they will bring this BOY” up as another psychopath.
Which my brother DEFINITELY IS!!! He is vile. Empty. The biggest user I have ever met. He told my parents ten years ago that he has 3 years to live! They gave him money to fly around the world…it goes on and on….
His toxicity seeps through to everyone around him. It is loathsome.
He has his PHD in music and has NEVER WORKED except to sing in the occasional “band”.
He has two children to two different addicts. One is dead the is nearly dead.
His present girlfriend is a retarded 18 year old. He is 61.
I rest my case.
Tilly: Are you channeling me? I said the same thing to Nic months ago. I am so sorry to see that the child is continuing to spend time in the presence of the monster father, learning from the role models in the mistress’s family.
I sincerely wish and hope that whatever visitation got mentioned in the divorce papers is soon forgotten, and the man disappears from Nic’s life. But it can’t happen unless she lets it happen.
Tilly:
“Sorry but the reason they want more kids is for control of everyone and narcissistic supply.”
That is so true.
And they pick the one thing, motherhood, that exposes them for what they really are, because they are unable to bond with their own children!
The irony of it all.
If my brother’s wife would have never had a baby, I don’t think she would have ever been exposed.
Rune and Rosa:
“You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink”. Fair enough if Nic wants to be a victim of the psychopath and take his “gifts” , that’s her business. But with all the knowledge she has, it is just outright abusive to hand your child to a psychopath because you want to go out for the weekend.
I won’t read Nic’s posts anymore because I will be too distressed for her child.
ONE OF THE ADVANTAGES OF CRS IS LACK OF MEMORY! ROTFLMAO!!!
Seriously Nic, I am going to have to go with Tilly on this one, I had forgotten that this was the guy who didn’t want to use a car seat when he picked up your daughter and that he wanted to give “driving lessons” to your 15 year old daughter.
BUT, that said I am going to have to BOINK YOU for letting him fix your AC and also for letting her go visit (if you had a choice) BOINK!
Also, I am going to have to BOINK Tilly for calling you “INSANE!” –Tilly, no name calling! She isn’t insane, she is CRAZY! BOINK!
Rune