Reviewed by Joyce Alexander, RNP (Retired)
Simon Baron-Cohen, author of The Science of Evil: On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty, is a professor of Developmental Psychology in the department of Experimental psychology and psychiatry at the University of Cambridge. He is director of the University’s Autism Research Center and has endless awards for his research and writing.
If you only read one book about empathy, this book should be it! Baron-Cohen explores the definition of empathy, or the lack of it, in humans, to answer his own questions about the Nazi atrocities in Germany before and during World War II. He also, as a scientist, wanted to explore why some people treat other as objects and answer his questions about how a human being can treat another person with utter cruelty and lack of compassion. His definition of empathy is:
Empathy is our ability to identify what someone else is thinking or feeling and to respond to their thoughts and feelings with an appropriate emotion.
Empathy … requires not only that you can identify another person’s feelings and thoughts, but that you respond to those with an appropriate emotion.
He explains that lack of empathy can be a fleeting state, in which anger, drugs, alcohol, or distractions dampen our empathy temporarily, or it can be a life-long pattern from which there is no recovery. He goes on to show that there are medical conditions in which both parts of empathy are missing (recognition of another’s feelings as well as responding to those feelings.)
Like any good scientist who studies his subject in a scientific manner, Baron-Cohen actually measures empathy. He and his team devised a Empathy Quotient (EQ) in order to measure empathy on the standard bell curve, where the majority of humans are in the middle. Most people have a reasonable amount of empathy most of the time (both recognizing and responding to the feelings of others), with fewer people having a much greater amount of empathy, and others having a lesser amount of empathy.
When I meet someone with very little empathy, it is as if they lack the very apparatus to look inwards at themselves, as if they lack a reverse periscope that would enable them any vision of themselves.
He defines, for research purposes, empathy into six broad categories. He describes zero empathy as:
Individual has no empathy at all ”¦ at which level some people commit crimes and are violent, but ”¦ fortunately, not all people with zero empathy wish to harm others ”¦ they cannot experience remorse or guilt.
At level six are the hyper-empathetic people that he describes as:
Continually focused on other people’s feelings, and go out of their way to check on these and to be supportive. It is as if their empathy is in a constant state of hyper-arousal, such that other people are never off their radar.
Using both psychology and brain scans of the areas of the brain involved in empathy, Baron-Cohen explains how the various personality disorders, psychopathy he uses that word borderline and narcissism, overlap in empathy or lack of it. Other medical conditions, such as autism, also cause problems with empathy.
He shows that people with classic autism, while not having empathy, do not generally intend to cause harm to anyone. The book also explores the genetic links. as well as the environmental links. that can produce low or lacking empathy in a personality.
Appendix 1 is the Empathy Quotient self test. Appendix 2 is How to Spot Zero Degrees of Empathy (Negative). It discusses borderline personality disorder, antisocial personality, a young person with conduct disorder, and How to Recognize a Narcissist.
This is an excellent book for learning more about ourselves, as well as learning about people with low levels of empathy. I highly recommend this book for both scientific information and for common sense information that is useful day to day in dealing with others in our lives.
The Science of Evil: On Empathy and the Origins of Cruelty, on Amazon.com.
Ox – and ev1 I am sorry I use this place to vent about non-spath related BS…
Louise – When I move to the moon I will take my laptop with me and eat green cheese and blog away ~!
Skylar – I would be tempted to see what he wants also..But I would do like you and come here for support and help to not do so….I mean what do we have to gain my having them in our face again? just more anguish I think….
Hens,
that green cheese is great! I got some at costco and here’s the secret: it’s not moon cheese at all! It’s got WASABI in it. yummmm.
Sturgis is an old old tradition where bikers all gather for no reason at all except to validate their lifestyles by reassuring each other, that they aren’t the only ones who are freaks. It’s cheaper than therapy! Lots of spaths and drugs, I’m sure.
It’s ok to vent about your hair dresser, she sounds like she was trying to slime you. Not that she is a spath, but she certainly lacks manners or empathy. Does she do a good job with your hair? I’ll put up with anything if I find someone who does my hair right…for cheap.
I’ve pretty much decided not to contact the spath. But I can’t help wondering what triggered it….not a good day for me. need more chocolate, lots more chocolate.
Sky – She does a good job, but barber’s are a dime dozen I think I will try someone new..I tip her 10 bucks but I am tired of her drama and attitude….
Why does he have your number anyway Sky 🙁 ? ….I am all about erasing any contact they mite remember….One time I looked in X’s little black address book and beside’s some of the name’s there were $ signs…hmmm go figure…
Hens,
he has my number and my email address.
He sent me an email with no text, just a subject: Hi Skylar, Did you see the blue angels this year?
I have never changed either because I don’t want to and because he never contacted me. Last time he contacted me, it was just to send me a $500 gift card for pet food. He thinks money is the only thing that motivates me. That’s good. I want him to think that. Because he owes me plenty.
Skylar,
I’m glad you’re gonna eat chocolate instead of replying to it. 🙂 He wants your attention for some reason (not a good one). Don’t give him any! Stay safe!
Dear Sky and Hens, it’s okay to vent about irritating things, they don’t have to be related to psychopaths….besides I’d put up with a psychopath if I could get a good hair cut….LOL Just letting mine grow cause I can’t find anyone to cut it right…wad it up in a knot on top of my head. Old lady bun!
Well, about associating with psychopaths for money….I’ll tell you a little story.
At a fancy dinner party for a guy asked the snooty woman next to him if she would theoretically go to bed with him for a MILLION DOLLARs and she thought a minute and said “Well, for a MILLION $$$ I guess I would.”
Then he asked “would you for $5?” and she looked at him and said “WHAT do you think I AM?” and he said “we’ve already determined that, now we are just haggling over price.”
KNOWING WHAT I KNOW NOW, I figure it this way, I would live in a tent or card board box and eat out of a McDonald’s dumpster before I would take a buck from a psychopath. I didn’t always know what I know now, but now that I DO know how the Ps and their DUPES are I wouldn’t accept a dollar from them….because they think that gives them control over you.
for a million bucks ? hmmm hmm hm OK ~~!!!!
I have no problem taking money from the spath, but he never gets anything in return except derision, so I’ve broken his incentive to give me any.
Hens, you are such a ho! ho! Ho! and it isn’t even Christmas! FUNNY! (((hugs))))