How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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Sociopaths thrive on exerting control and inflicting emotional pain

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. I’ve also just released a new ebook titled Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood. (Just click here to find it on Amazon.com Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves.) Chapter 53:  The Puzzle Pieces Finally Fit With my mind solving puzzles that I should have pieced together years earlier, I fixated on two final pieces that had never made sense. If Paul had set me …

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9 Questions to help you discern if your caring, helpful partner is faking it

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She makes you drinks and home-cooked meals. He cuts your lawn and fixes your car. Your new romantic interest just can't seem to do enough for you. You never felt so cared for. It must be love! Maybe it is. Or maybe it's a sociopath who is trying to soften you up for later exploitation. I've often written on Lovefraud that sociopaths do not have the ability to be caregivers. Many readers find this confusing — the sociopath they know was always doing things for them. So let me explain. First, some background. Three components of romantic love The core of sociopathic personality disorders is an inability to love. What, exactly does this mean? Scientists have determined that r …

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A sociopath’s deceit and cruelty is boundless

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. I’ve also just released a new ebook titled Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood. (Just click here to find it on Amazon.com Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves.) Chapter 53:  The Puzzle Pieces Finally Fit Knowing my fear of financial ruin—I was now over fifty years old and had not worked full-time in almost two decades—Paul pushed every financial button he co …

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Unearthing my repressed memory of being drugged and raped

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By Eleanor Cowan A young woman from my building banged on my door at 3 a.m. “It’s me! Darlene!” Soon on the couch and sipping the hot tea I made for us both, she wept uncontrollably. “I know what happened,” the twenty-four-year-old cried as we waited for the police to arrive. “I know what happened. He ordered me a night cap at the bar while I was in the washroom. I don’t remember going to his place. I woke up undressed and in pain. Oh! I’m lucky I escaped.” “Wow, a nightcap knocked you out like that?” I asked, tucking my shawl around her shaking form. “No, not the drink but the drug dropped into it when I wasn’t looking!” she replied, in tears. The two responding officers, both women, ge …

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5 reasons why antisocials are great actors

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Last week Lovefraud published an article by Eleanor Cowan entitled, When sociopaths use righteous indignation to exert control. In it, Eleanor relates how her fiance twisted her comment about a pedophile priest into an opportunity to establish his moral superiority over her. The fiance, of course, was disordered and a pedophile himself, but Eleanor didn't know it at the time. He convinced her that he was a righteous, religious man. A Lovefraud reader commented on the post: This article really is a perfect example of how they manipulate you – what I want to know is HOW is it they are so believable? How come they are such good actors?? I would think the average non sociopathic person would …

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The sway sociopaths hold over their “minions” is hard to fathom

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. Chapter 52B:  The Tsunami Pounds Ashore In spite of the adultery and Paul’s clear manipulation in getting me to move to Utah, which was clear to anyone who had two eyes and a brain, Paul’s family rallied around him. I’m sure the money he lavished on them did not hurt, and he likely reframed everything, finally revealing the “truth” about me. He had endured me long enough. Surely, they wanted hi …

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Think of sociopaths as aliens — it may help you understand them

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Perhaps the hardest thing to comprehend, and accept, about sociopaths is just how different they are from the rest of us. I've spoken to hundreds of people who have tangled with sociopaths. Even when the mask has not only slipped, but shattered, even when they know the truth about what the sociopath has been doing all along, they still ask, "But how could he do it?" "He kept telling me how much he loved me; how could he cheat like that?" "He said we were soul mates; how can he just up and leave?" "How can he be so cold and calculating?" "How can he look me right in the eye and lie?" (Substitute "she" for "he" as necessary.) Then, the people I talk to start making statements like the …

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To a sociopath, your pain and torment is their delight

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post. I’ve also just released a new ebook titled Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood. (Just click here to find it on Amazon.com Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves.) Chapter 52A:  The Tsunami Pounds Ashore My lawyer forwarded Paul’s official court documents to me, documents we needed to legalize our temporary financial agreement pending our divorce. I waited unt …

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Did football star and murderer Aaron Hernandez have a personality disorder or a brain injury?

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In 2013, Aaron Hernandez, the former standout tight end for the New England Patriots football team, was charged with murdering his friend. Hernandez had a history of violence and infractions with the law, so his behavior appeared to be that of a typical psychopath. For this reason, Lovefraud covered the story: Aaron Hernandez charged with murder; his cousin charged with contempt, on Lovefraud.com. Hernandez was found guilty of the murder on April 15, 2015 and sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. Two years later, at the age of 27, he hanged himself in prison. An examination of Hernandez' brain found that he suffered from CTE — chronic traumatic encephalopathy. It' …

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Be careful–sociopaths think boundaries and laws don’t apply to them

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Every week, a chapter of my book, "Husband, Liar, Sociopath: How He Lied, Why I Fell For It & The Painful Lessons Learned" (available via Amazon.com, just click on the title or book cover) will be published here on Lovefraud. To read prior chapters, please see the links at the bottom of the post.   I've also just released a new ebook titled Narcissists, SOCIOPATHS & Wolves: Lessons From Little Red Riding Hood. (Just click here to find it on Amazon.com Narcissists SOCIOPATHS & Wolves.) Chapter 51E:  The Earthquake Strikes Jessica was spending a lot of time at Paul’s but had not officially moved in with him and Linda. One day, prior to Paul and I going to court for the first time …

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