Forgiving oneself for making bad choices is never easy, and I know there are authors and posters on LF who are true experts in the area of self-forgiveness. But let me come at this from an angle slightly different than my usual Lovefraud fare. It's often just plain hard to bust a flat-out liar and deceiver. And it's often suprisingly easy to effectively flat-out lie and deceive. Let me say this again: it's pretty easy to live a life of deception, making it no big accomplishment to deceive the brightest, most astute, most sensitive people. Lying and deceiving, and doing them well, even over long, extended periods of time, duping anyone and everyone in the process—again, my point is …
Jobs for Hard Times: Becoming a Dysfunctional Blogger for Fun and Profit!
By The Front Porch Talker From my newest series, “Jobs for Hard Times,” which is yet another of my unfinished series in my unending series of Front Porch Talker items. HOME PAGE: Welcome to my blog, “NE'ER-DO-WELLS” (WWW.NEERDOWELLS.COM) MOTTO: “Let the Mocking Begin!” ABOUT US: Here, we celebrate a ”˜DIVERSE CULTURAL PERSPECTIVE”˜ with a POLITICALLY- CORRECT HANDLE ON THINGS: For ”˜folks with Personality Disorders': Narcissists, Sociopaths, and other Psychopaths, Shape-Shifters and Flexible Identities Among Us! Dear fans and devotees, and other undecided Libertarians of faiths and fan clubs, and “Dexter,” I feel like saying it, so I will: “Let the mocking begin! It's …
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Psychopaths as “snake oil salesmen”
By Ox Drover The other night my son and I went to a rodeo with a a couple who are our friends to watch another friend ride in the rodeo roping contest. My friend is currently somewhat “down in her back” and will be going to a neurosurgeon for treatment this coming week. When we got up to go to the concession stand she asked me to go over and talk to this man who was selling some “pain relief patches.” She wondered if they would help. We walked toward the man's stand, where he had a sophisticated electronic display up and pamphlets to hand out. He immediately started his spiel and he started with the bouncing four-month old border collie pup I was holding on the end of a leash. “Do …
Reconsidering the Essence of Sociopathy
When I think sociopath, I think this: as a pattern, he is willing, with awareness (hence, with intellect intact) to hurt people, or leave them feeling violated, in order to pursue his gratifications and interests which, for him, are always more important than the pain his pursuit of them inflicts on others. Malice (as I've written about elsewhere) may or may not be a motive or factor. It's true that for some sociopaths the gratifications they seek are predatory-based; for these sociopaths, the process of exploiting others becomes central in their violating behavior. But this isn't true for all sociopaths, many of whom are not driven, primarily, by a malicious or sadistic …
When history is a predictor of future behavior
When is history predictive of future behavior? Who can change? Who will change? Can sociopaths change? What is meaningful versus unmeaningful change? I would argue that history is most predictive of future behavior when the mindset of the individual—especially the motivational mindset of the individual—remains static. By this I mean that short of a radicalized mindset, one can assume that the individual's historical behaviors and attitudes will not change, at least not meaningfully. So motivation goes directly to the question who is likely, or unlikely, to make changes in historical behavior patterns. One must ask, what is the individual's motivation to change previous …
Different Perspectives of Sociopaths
There can be different perspectives of the sociopath (and other seriously exploitive personalities). These perspectives can offer different experiences of these disturbed individuals. At the same time each perspective offers, I suggest by definition, both a somewhat advantageous and yet limited view of the sociopath. Living with a sociopath, or finding oneself involved deeply in a “committed” relationship with a sociopath, will offer an incomparably intimate experience of the horrors that sociopaths can inflict on their partners. Clearly no one, and that includes the so-called “experts” on sociopathy (clinicians and researchers, for instance) will be able to appreciate the impact of …
Priest impregnates teenager
In 2008, the chaplain of a Roman Catholic high school in Reading, Pa., befriended a female student. Well, the relationship was much more than friendship, and the girl's parents have filed a lawsuit against him and the Diocese of Allentown, claiming that the priest impregnated their daughter. Read Suit says priest impregnated teenager, on Philly.com. The teenager had a baby, and apparently is now living with the priest, who has been relieved of his duties. Read Teen found at apartment of priest her parents sued on ReadingEagle.com. …
Freedom to lie: Stolen Valor Act ruled unconstitutional
The Stolen Valor Act of 2005 makes it illegal for anyone to claim military decorations that he or she did not earn. It's a straightforward law that states: Whoever falsely represents himself or herself, verbally or in writing, to have been awarded any decoration or medal authorized by Congress for the Armed Forces of the United States, any of the service medals or badges awarded to the members of such forces, the ribbon, button, or rosette of any such badge, decoration, or medal, or any colorable imitation of such item shall be fined under this title, imprisoned not more than six months, or both. On August 17, 2010, the law was found to be unconstitutional by the United States Court of …
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Experienced clinician says psychopathy is a spectrum
This week we are continuing to discuss The Psychopathic Mind by J. Reid Meloy, Ph.D. The author is diplomate in forensic psychology, former Chief of the Forensic Mental Health Division for San Diego County and Past President of the American Academy of Forensic Psychology. As I said last week, my initial reaction to the book was rather negative because I believe this author has made some assertions that have become the basis for inaccurate folklore that has spread over the internet (to be discussed in the coming weeks). But Dr. Meloy made up for all that by setting the record straight on a very important issue—the spectrum of psychopathy. The idea that psychopathy is a spectrum and that …
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When He’s Just A Bad Dude
It's easy to get obsessed with, fixated on, “labels” and diagnostic categories like sociopath, psychopath, malignant narcissist, narcissist, etc. To be sure, labels and diagnoses can be important and informative. In the case of “sociopathic” individuals, for instance, we know that there's no changing them; we know that there's no real hope for their redemption; and so, if you've correctly identified a sociopathic type, you can know that it's pointless, self-destructive to invest another minute of your time in him. And this is a good thing to know. But it's also the case, I'd suggest, that an overfocus on labels and diagnoses can sometimes be a distraction, a form of avoidance, …