How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Her son is psychopathic, and she fears for her granddaughters

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from reader whom we'll call “Grandma.” She would appreciate any advice to help her deal with her son and granddaughters. My son is categorically a psychopathic personality.  In my mind, I can remember the tendencies starting about his high school years.  I wonder why nobody else recognized this. Now he is the 29 year old father of 2 small girls.  The youngest child, 3-1/2 years old, is telling stories of her father hurting her vagina.  She is in counseling and the counselor is the one who reported this to law enforcement and to DSS.  (The counselor believes it to be true.)  However, because of my husband and my involvement in the lives …

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How American child rearing practices lead to ADHD and bullying

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More and more children are being diagnosed with disorders such as ADHD and autism. Dr. Gabor Maté of Canada says that the root cause is that the nurturing environment necessary for proper child development has collapsed in America, leading to children who are emotionally detached and have difficulty controlling their impulses. This 60-minute interview is fascinating—be sure to watch it all. Or, to save time, just scroll down below the video options to read the transcript. (Thanks to Skylar for the suggestion.) Dr. Gabor Maté on ADHD, bullying and the destruction of American childhood, on DemocracyNow.org. Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …

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When good parenting isn’t enough

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There was a time when mental health professionals were trained to see children as intrinsically good until influenced otherwise. If kids came out bad, the parents were to blame. That attitude is changing, writes Dr. Richard A. Friedman, a professor of psychiatry in Manhattan. In reality, parents have limited power to influence their children. Read Accepting that good parents may plant bad seeds, on NYTimes.com. Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader. …

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Respite for adopted Russian children and their parents

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Many Russian children adopted by Americans suffer from the legacy of fetal alcohol syndrome, institutionalization, poverty and socially corrosive survival skills. A ranch in Montana gives them—and their parents—a break. Read Russian adoptees get a respite on the range, on NYTimes.com. Link submitted by a Lovefraud reader. …

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The importance of teaching empathy to children

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Neuroscientists, psychologists and educators believe that bullying in schools and other kinds of violence can be reduced by encouraging empathy at an early age. Read How not to raise a bully: The early roots of empathy on Time.com. Link submitted by a reader via the Lovefraud Facebook fan page. …

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Families of sociopaths need help when incarceration is over

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Shortly after I met serial killer Rodney Alcala, he invited me over to see his photography. At the time he was living with his parents even though he was 35. Upon entering the home, he introduced me to his mother who was visibly angry with him for inviting me over. Looking back now I can guess this was because he had been convicted twice of violent crimes against young girls. I do not blame the Alcala family for the behavior of Rodney or for not telling me to get away from him. I only bring up this story to highlight the fact that when offenders are released from prison they become a problem for their families. A person getting out of prison has no place to go, no home, no money and no …

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Two terrible stories about sex and children

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In Trenton, New Jersey, a 15-year-old girl sold her 7-year-old stepsister to a group of men and boys at a party for sex. Read: Cops: N.J. teen sold stepsister, 7, for party sex on Msnbc.com. In Wales, a 6-year-old was repeatedly stripped, sexually abused and physically assaulted by other children in her school. Read: Horrific ordeal of girl, six, who was physically and sexually abused by 23 of her primary school classmates on Mail Online. Links submitted by a Lovefraud reader. …

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How does ODD relate to sociopathy?

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This week a reader asked about a disorder called ODD and its relationship to sociopathy. ODD or oppositional defiant disorder is a childhood disorder. According to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatrists: In children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), there is an ongoing pattern of uncooperative, defiant, and hostile behavior toward authority figures that seriously interferes with the youngster's day to day functioning. Symptoms of ODD may include: • Frequent temper tantrums • Excessive arguing with adults • Often questioning rules • Active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules • Deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people • Blaming …

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Feeling guilty about a sociopathic stepson

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Lovefraud recently received the following e-mail from a reader who we'll call Martha. I have a 33-year old adult stepson who I believe is sociopathic — he fits all the criteria. He has been a problem to the family ever since his mother threw him out to our house at the age of 13. By that time he was so oppositional there was no dealing with him in any reasonable way. We went through all the “standard” teenage issues with him — petty crime, running away, repeating years in school, counseling, adolescent psych facility, military school till we ran out of money, etc. What is different about our situation from everything I read is that my husband has stood by him for so many years, giving him …

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Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy, meeting highlights: At-risk children

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This weekend I am reporting from the 3rd meeting of the Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy, where I also presented the results of the research Sandra Brown, M.A. and I did. In the next few weeks I will summarize the highlights of the meeting for you. One of the reasons I attended this meeting was to be sure the information we present to you on this website is up-to-date and accurate. Happily, I came away from the meeting confident, having had conversations with all the leaders in the field. The problems of at-risk children were a major focus of the meeting. Many research teams are working on trying to measure problems with emotional processing in antisocial children. Before we …

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