Editor's note: Joyce M. Short is the author of a soon to be released book, “Carnal Abusive Deceit When a Predator's Lies Become Rape.” The book chronicles her life with a predator, the subsequent aftermath and her road to recovery. It also provides advice for victims and their supporters, and discusses the issues surrounding criminalization of rape-by-fraud. Joyce lives in New York City, where she's a real estate broker, professional tennis instructor and a strong advocate for her community. The Betrayal Bond — an oxytocin craving By Joyce M. Short We often see stories in the news about people who meet tragic ends by remaining in a relationship with someone whose behavior should have si …
Open letter to Huma Abedin: You’re married to a sociopath
Dear Ms. Abedin, People are perplexed. Your husband, Anthony Weiner, has humiliated you again. Yet at a press conference last week, you continued to support him, and his candidacy for mayor of New York City. "I love him. I have forgiven him. I believe in him," you said. Why would you do this? Speculation by media pundits, New York City voters and average citizens usually follows three themes: You want to keep your family together at all costs. You believe you can help your husband overcome his problems. You are a political animal and will do anything to get your husband elected. Read: Why does Huma Abedin put up with Weiner?, on CNN.com. I don't know you personally, and what I know …
Open letter to Huma Abedin: You’re married to a sociopathRead More
Mental health consequences of stalking, and how to cope
A new study documents high rates of post traumatic stress, anxiety and depression among stalking victims. Experts offer suggestions on how to deal with a stalker. Number One: Notify the police. Number Two: No contact. Stalking distress goes unnoticed, on BBC.co.uk Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader. …
Mental health consequences of stalking, and how to copeRead More
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Trying to solve the mystery kept me hooked for months, part 2
Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Edna" sent along the following letter. She received it from her then husband's mistress last summer. Edna reached out to the young woman once she located her number on his phone records. They shared their stories to help piece together the mystery of the man they were both dangerously entangled with. Names and some details have been changed for their protection. Read Part 1. The final evening It is so scary to even think back to the evening that led to my leaving Brandon and never looking back. The very last time I saw him I found tons of drugs in his apartment. It was a Friday evening in the middle of the summer. I went to my parents that We …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Trying to solve the mystery kept me hooked for months, part 2Read More
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Trying to solve the mystery kept me hooked for months, part 1
Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Edna" sent along the following letter. She received it from her then husband's mistress last summer. Edna reached out to the young woman once she located her number on his phone records. They shared their stories to help piece together the mystery of the man they were both dangerously entangled with. Names and some details have been changed for their protection. Part 2 will post tomorrow. Letter from the mistress I met Brandon during the summer, immediately following my college graduation. Brandon approached me at a nightclub at a beach resort area near where I live over Memorial Day weekend. I was at a low point in my life; I was de …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Trying to solve the mystery kept me hooked for months, part 1Read More
Love addiction with a sociopath
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/OYfoGTIG7pY"] According to Dr. Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist, romantic love is an addiction. The drive to find a romantic partner is buried deep in the brain, and biologically intertwined with the brain's reward system, which is linked to wanting, motivation, focus and craving. To hear Dr. Fisher explain this, watch the video. Dr. Fisher points out that when you love someone and are rejected, the addiction is worse. Not only do you continue to feel the intense romantic love, but you love your beau even more. Your love becomes an obsession. It turns out that the brain system associated with rewards becomes even more active when you can't get …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: He hid who he was very well
Lovefraud received the following essay from a reader whom we'll call "Soundra." Initials have been changed. It started two years ago when I met T.L. through an on-line dating site. We talked on the phone for about a month before we actually met in person. Although T.L. was intelligent, well educated, and came from a good family, he wasn't really my type physically. I also found him to be a little high strung, which I didn't care for. He was interesting though, and he had a great sense of humor, which is always a positive with me, so I went out with him a few times. After a few dates, I told T.L. that I thought it would be best if we didn't date anymore, but that I would like for us to still …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Ever since this experience, I’ve been afraid to love again
Editor's note: The following letter was sent by a Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "Shania." Names have been changed. My comments are at the end of the letter. I'm a 20-year-old girl and I had an experience with a sociopath, or so I think he was one. This traumatic experience actually gave me post-traumatic stress disorder. A few years ago, in my senior year of high school, I started to talk to this boy in my class named Mark. Everyone loved him; he was the most popular guy in my school. He was really good at talking to people, had the charm, very funny, always knew what to say. I first noticed a red flag before we started dating. Out of nowhere, Mark came over to me and cut off a piece …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Ever since this experience, I’ve been afraid to love againRead More
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I have no further use to him and I am being disposed of
Editor's note: The following letter was written by a woman who posts as "Sam." And to answer her question at the end, it sounds like she's been involved with a series of sociopaths. It all started for me around 11 years ago when I first met what I thought was "the love of my life" and the only man I would ever consider settling down with—up until only months ago. I was only a young 16-year-old girl and he was 21 when we first started seeing each other. I had a rather unstable childhood where I witnessed domestic violence from a very young age, and I left home before my 15th birthday. I did not have the best parental guidance. After leaving home I was living from house to house. I had n …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I have no further use to him and I am being disposed ofRead More
Oxytocin, trust and why we fall for psychopaths
Invariably, once we realize we've been conned by a psychopath, this person has lied to us from the very beginning, and we fell for all of it, we ask why? Why did we believe? Why did we trust? The short answer is that we did what we, as social animals, are biologically designed to do. Human beings have evolved over millennia to live in community, and trust is the glue that holds us together. I just finished reading The Moral Molecule the source of love and prosperity, by Paul J. Zak. Zak spent 10 years researching a brain chemical called oxytocin and its role in human behavior. He says oxytocin inspires trust; trust is connected to morality; and morality is connected to the …