By Quinn Pierce I was very proud to be sitting in the front row in my pretty new dress, listening to the speaker praise us for our accomplishments and hard work. I had spent two years taking classes at night while running a business from home and taking care of my two children. There were nights I would be so tired after a three hour class that I would have to pull over and rest my eyes for a few minutes during my hour long commute home late at night. Balancing Act Most nights, I would come home to a relatively calm house, the boys asleep, my husband watching tv. But, some nights I would return to find invoices that need to be entered before the next day, or estimates that n …
Recovery From A Sociopath: Learning From Past Mistakes
by Quinn Pierce I've been thinking a lot lately about the process of learning from our mistakes. It sounds simple enough. After all, it's easy to look in the rear-view mirror and see exactly where we went wrong. Events always look so clear and uncomplicated when looking at them from a safe distance. So, with a little self-reflection, we can identify those decisions that led us into unsafe territory and vow never to make them again. Complicated Choices But, this is where I run into a problem. I know which experiences I do not want to repeat, but the choices I made that led to those experiences are not as black and white as the experiences themselves. For example, I chose to love …
Recovery From A Sociopath: Learning From Past MistakesRead More
Dealing with sociopaths: Fight or flight?
Sociopaths are social predators who live their lives by exploiting people. When you're the person who has been exploited, how should you respond? Do you try to hold the sociopath accountable? Or do you cut your losses and walk away?Lovefraud is an open forum, with many people expressing opinions about what you should do. In the past, some folks have posted comments saying give up, run away, don't fight, you can't win.I don't necessarily agree with that. Yes, in some cases, fleeing is the best course of action. But sometimes the only way to survive is to fight. Or sometimes standing up to the sociopath enables you to reclaim yourself, even if you don't win the battle.I believe you should do …
He thought I had beautiful eyes…
As if being a first year law student isn't hard enough, enter a new dating relationship. Under the best of circumstances, this would be a challenge, but when your gut is screaming at you, it's even more interesting. Let's start with law school. I was slow to admit it, but yes, that is what I have been doing since last I wrote. Years ago, after my all consuming experience with psychopathy, I promised myself that I would rise from the ashes, turn the bad into good, and help others recover from abusive relationships with psychopaths or those high in psychopathic features. It is my turn to pay it forward. This promise has evolved slowly and its shape has changed over the years, but thus f …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: After the sociopath, whole and human again
Editor's note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader "Winifred." She previously wrote "The Other Prey loving someone previously married to a sociopath." I have just read the story from "Edward" entitled, My involvement with a female sociopath. My heart goes out to the people who are collateral damage from the wrath of a sociopath...male or female. I would like to get the message out there that there is actually a way to recover from this hell, and after picking up the pieces and getting to know ourselves again, to find someone who has no evil agenda, someone who wants what we want! I have been with my husband for 10 years now, and we have been through it all! I believe that …
LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: After the sociopath, whole and human againRead More
My Marriage To A Sociopath: Lessons Learned
by Quinn Pierce It's fall in the Northeast. The long humid days of summer have been replaced by crisp autumn air, while vibrant, painted leaves cover sidewalks. It's usually my favorite time of year, but I have to admit that this particular change in seasons has been challenging. Instead of enjoying the beautiful scenery and bright sunshine, I've spent most of my days sitting in the interchangeable waiting rooms of doctors, lawyers, counselors, principals, etc, trying to help my children heal while protecting them from their father. Time to Reflect on Change Sitting in these impersonal, and sometimes, over-crowded waiting rooms, I have had lots of time to reflect upon my fifteen y …
Recovery from the sociopath: Remember to live
For many of us, when we finally disengage from the sociopath, our lives are in shambles. We aren't just trying to recover from a broken heart due to the sociopath's unconscionable betrayal. We may also need to recover from financial devastation, ruined relationships with family and friends, lost jobs, lost businesses, lost homes, stress-related illness and the aftershocks of psychological manipulation. No wonder we feel like zombies. Where do we start? How do we rebuild our lives? In the beginning, our focus is rightfully on crisis management. We make sure we have shelter, food, financial support. We must find solutions for the basic issues of survival. Eventually, the crisis …
Divorcing A Sociopath: Avoiding Conflict and Other Mistakes
by Quinn Pierce For a long time, I tried to keep confrontations with my ex-husband to a minimum. I always thought that I could avoid causing my boys any further harm by just ”˜keeping the peace'. I considered it a small price to pay if I had to tolerate inconveniences and insults in order to give my children a drama-less environment. But, as is always the case when negotiating with a sociopath, the price was much higher than I ever imagined. Good Intentions I believed I was setting an example by taking the high road and not engaging my ex-husband in his game-playing antics. Unfortunately, what I was doing was letting a bully set the rules and move the boundaries at will. And whil …
Divorcing A Sociopath: Avoiding Conflict and Other MistakesRead More
The journey from pain to peace
The Lovefraud reader "Kataroux" has been struggling with the profound betrayal she endured at the hands of a charming young sociopath who turned out to be nothing more than a parasite. She told her entire story in the post from September 25, 2013, entitled How I was duped by a young sociopath and believed all his lies until now! On October 4, Kataroux posted the following comment on Lovefraud: As I sit here tonight I find myself wondering how I ever let something like this happen to me and yet I know the answer. I just buried my husband and wanted to feel loved again and Spath jumped in with promises of a wonderful future and I bent over backwards to give him just that. Notice I said …
Was I ever loved?
By Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW One of the most confusing things people grapple with during and after a relationship with a sociopath is wondering if any of the “love” was real. It's a total mind f---. You think of the beginning of the relationship in which your partner was the most romantic person you ever dated — how attentive he was. (I'll refer to male sociopaths, but they may be female as well.) He may have even been thoughtful and empathetic if you confided in him about someone or a situation troubling you in your life. He may have remembered each occasion with wonderful gifts. You remember times being part of family and friends as a couple, even when things started to get ba …