REGISTER | LOGIN

Recovery from a sociopath

Find healing from the sociopath in the holiday spirit

Terry Kelly and Donna Andersen in front of the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Plaza, New York City.

For the first time in our 17 years together, my husband, Terry Kelly, and I, visited New York City during the holiday season. It was far more magical than I anticipated.

At the Birdland jazz club, we saw David and the Bombshells, a retro, 1930s-style band with three female singers (the Bombshells). Then, at the Metropolitan Museum of Art, we saw 20-foot Christmas tree surrounded by a gorgeous, 18th-century Nativity Creche. After that, we visited the Christmas tree Rockefeller Plaza — a 72-foot tall Norway spruce decorated with thousands of LED lights.

The sociopath as your soul mate

A few years ago, I read Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, which was the #1 New York Times bestseller when it was published in 2007. Gilbert tells her story of supposedly having everything career, marriage, home yet feeling depressed and unhappy. She left it all, got a divorce, and then spent a year abroad to find herself. She ate her way through Italy, studied spiritual practice in India, and sought to balance pleasure and divinity in Indonesia.

Dr. Laura Rubiales: Addressing fatigue after a social predator

By Laura Rubiales, ND, LAc

If you find yourself drained and tired after an experience or relationship with a social predator, these are my suggestions: Cut all ties with them and those with whom you will get the social predator’s garbage. Try to reach some kind of emotional neutrality about the situation so you are not giving them your mental and emotional energy anymore. A skilled therapist can be invaluable in this process.

Help your therapist measure the abuse you’ve endured with this questionnaire and survey

Mary Ann GlynnBy Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, CHT

For several years I have been working with people in abusive relationships, that includes partners of those with Cluster B personality disorders and co-morbid traits of psychopathy — those we call narcissists, sociopaths, psychopaths, exploiters.

There is one complaint I hear most often and continually: “I can’t find a therapist who gets these relationships,” or “The therapist we went to sided with my partner in blaming me and I feel traumatized all over again.”

5 Ways to Feel Better After Dating a Sociopath

Life gets everybody down now and then. Sometimes, we get hit with truly traumatizing experiences such as dating a sociopath. Sociopaths can cause a massive decrease in self-esteem, self-confidence, trust, happiness, and just ruin your life in general. Sometimes, when you get stuck in a hole of sadness due to this terrible person, it’s hard to climb back out again. If you focus on your sadness, it gets bigger, more overwhelming, and harder to chase away.

But you don’t have to resign yourself to feeling down. Whether you’re sad about something that’s happened in your life or you’re just in a funk, it’s possible to feel better. Here are five things you can do to lift yourself up and renew your optimism when you’re sad.

How to dump the sociopath

Suppose you realize that you’re in an unhealthy romantic relationship. Or, your instincts are telling you that the person in hot pursuit of you is bad news. How do you end the involvement?

When you’re romantically involved with reasonably normal individuals, you usually try to spare their feelings. You don’t come out and say that they’re boring, or needy, or oafish, even if that’s what you feel. You make up excuses. You tell them that you’re getting back with an old boyfriend or girlfriend, even if that’s a lie. You say you’re just not ready for a relationship right now, even if that’s also a lie.

Your Autonomic Nervous System and Healing from the Sociopath

By Laura Rubiales, ND, LAc

Do you feel like your body and mental/emotional state changed after an encounter or relationship with a sociopath?   Are you more frazzled, hypervigilant, with a potential sense of impending doom, increased anxiety and insomnia? Have you gained or lost weight? Are you having more digestive issues?

Many of these symptoms can be explained physiologically by changes in your autonomic nervous system. Your autonomic nervous system has two states between which it alternates, the sympathetic and parasympathetic.

As you recover from the sociopath, remember to live

For many of us, when we finally disengage from the sociopath, our lives are in shambles. We aren’t just trying to recover from a broken heart due to the sociopath’s unconscionable betrayal. We may also need to recover from financial devastation, ruined relationships with family and friends, lost jobs, lost businesses, lost homes, stress-related illness and the aftershocks of psychological manipulation.

No wonder we feel like zombies. Where do we start? How do we rebuild our lives?

In the beginning, our focus is rightfully on crisis management. We make sure we have shelter, food, financial support. We must find solutions for the basic issues of survival.

When you discover the appalling truth, do not confront the sociopath

You’ve felt like something was off about your romantic partner for a long time, but you could never quite figure out what it was. Then, suddenly and harshly, you learn the truth.

You discover that this person is cheating on you. Or forged your signature to open up credit cards. Or has kids you never knew about. Or is only pretending to go to work every day. Or is married to someone else.

However it happened, you learn that your partner is betraying you.

Your first instinct is to confront your partner and demand answers.

DON’T DO IT.

Donna Andersen and Attorney Megan Lyons talk sociopaths

How many sociopaths are there? What are some of the warning signs at a romantic partner is disordered? How are people with personality disorders diagnosed?

I address all of these topics — and more — in a wide-ranging conversation with Megan Lyons on her Transcending the Trauma of the Human Experience podcast.

Megan is an attorney who thoroughly understands what happens when someone is involved with a sociopath.  She presents two Lovefraud webinars:

How to Navigate a Court Proceeding when the Opposing Party is a Sociopath or Cluster-B Disordered Individual

Obtaining Injunctions Against a Sociopath

Send this to a friend