How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

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He controlled my moves and thoughts with diabolical and methodical precision

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Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call "Ingrid." I met my Sociopath over 10 years ago and just like in all the books and blogs I have read as of late fell hard and fast for what I thought was honesty as he would look me right in the eyes and tell me everything any women wants to hear ”¦ you know how beautiful I was, how he wishes he would have met me in his twenties, how we are so much alike, blah, blah, blah. Unbeknown to me he was gathering all the information he would need later to control my every move and thought and that he did with DIABOLICAL AND METHODICAL precision and I being the honest and open hearted person I am I believed him. My Sociopath used and …

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All of his abuse was secret

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call “Marla Marie.” Following 9/11, I moved back home and within just three years married my ex-husband. I think the trauma of 9/11 inspired me to hurry up and get a life, and in doing so I overlooked some red flags. I was also naive in love matters. My ex-husband is the hallmark charming, handsome nomad. Although even prior to marriage not all of his stories "checked out" it immediately escalated once we were married. He was using drugs, had a criminal record and two prior marriages. He also had a child he never knew/saw. We were married and divorced within 2 years. All of his abuse was secret. He would berate me …

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I was supposed to give and give, but was not allowed to ask for anything

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I have spent the last 7.5 years in a relationship with a sociopath. I gave more than I had to give mentally, emotionally and financially. He barely worked in that time. He lied, cheated and did his best to convince me I was crazy. He would steal and swear on his children he would never do that to me. The last two years of the relationship I would often tell him he was a sociopath, but it wasn't until the last six months that I truly started researching the disorder and everything I read on the topic was him to a T! It was as if someone sat back documenting his behaviors, then put them all together to create this disorder. The charm, false sense of entitlement, pathological lying, parasitic …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: I lost my marriage, my children, my job and my home

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman who calls herself “Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.” My story began in high school where we started dating. We were both at the end of our junior year and began dating as summer was beginning. It started off fantastic; I mean that's why I stayed to get back those first few weeks of our relationship. Then the jealously started, the manipulations, the isolation: it was too much for me to take and begin my college years. So I told him we were done; of course this was after he "tried to commit suicide" in front of me by taking a handful of aspirin; he pinned me down in my car in the dorm parking lot and I screamed to the point that someone ca …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: The ride on the sociocrazytrain was painful, but I don’t regret it

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader whom we'll call Roseann. I just wanted to thank you for developing the Lovefraud site, sharing your experience and writing your books. I have read both. The books and your site have helped me tremendously, not only initially when I needed to understand what was happening, during the no contact time and even now, when he's long gone. It helps me to remember who I was back then and to see whom I am now and I'm pleased with my progress and the choices I made. Cutting contact All in all, I spent the better part of 10 years dealing with my on and off relationship/friendship with my spath and THE best thing I did was cut …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Breaking free of the controlling, sociopathic girlfriend

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following email from a woman who posts as “seekeroflight.” I feel this overwhelming urge to reach out to your website, and I am not quite sure exactly why. I'm working my way through reading pretty much your whole website, or at least the articles which strike my eye as I go through it. It is one of very few things in my life right now that helps me to feel a little less alone. I told my life partner (of almost 7 1/2 years) that I was done with the relationship in January of this year. I gave her pretty much no warning just sat down one evening and told her I thought we should break up. She claims she saw it coming, but I think that's a lie. Judging by ho …

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26 abusive behaviors from a female narcissistic sociopath

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Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader who calls himself “Fly” posted the following comment on August 7, 2015. It is a great description of dysfunctional behavior in a woman, so it is reproduced here in order to help others. Fly received responses responses to his email from the woman, which are reproduced below. He read the emails but did not respond I am a 60 year old male who was living with a 50 year old female for three years. I had known her for two years before. I wrote a letter to my Ex-girlfriend a few days after I left. I had said to myself enough is enough after one of her quick insulting outbursts. I packed my belongings, threw them in the car and just walked out of the house never to …

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Sociopathic husband isolates her in the wilderness and lives with two wives at once

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call “Esther.” Names have been changed. Thirteen years ago I met Frank on Match.com. After just a few dates he said we were soul mates. He moved in quickly and insisted that I move away from my identical twin and he rented an apartment for us to share. I never saw my twin again. He purposely kept me from her, my family and moved me to a secluded home up in a one road only access to a national forest. I lived with no running water. No Internet. No long distance phone. No cable. To heat my home I had to chop wood or save money to buy trees that were wet and had to wait for them to dry out before I could burn them. I …

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The sociopath cheated me out of a million dollar retirement plan

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Editor's note: The following story was sent to Lovefraud by a reader whom we'll call “Sherri-Lynn.” I was married to a sociopath for fifteen years. I was with this man for nearly eighteen years. We have two children together. This man lied to me for fifteen years about "our retirement plan." The money that funded this so-called retirement plan was gifted to my ex and I every year at Christmas from his mother and stepfather. The money was in the form of stocks that were electronically put into our stock portfolio. Statements arrived in the mail every month or so addressed to both he and I. My name was on every account, statement, summary etc. I had my own retirement plan (a small one ) that my …

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My mother was bent on turning us kids against our father

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Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader who posts as “Lobelle55.” My mother was a sociopath. She was the sweetest, most beautiful and doting mother on earth. Very talented. But she had a dark side. She was bent on turning us kids (5) all against our father - especially me. I was her favorite hand picked target. As a child she indulged me a lot and I was very dependent upon her. She manipulated aggressively, always telling graphic stories to me about my dad's unfaithfulness and anger (she could really push his buttons), even at a very young age around 6 - 8 years old. Of course I did not have any idea that she was also telling awful lies about me to my dad! I had be …

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