Editor's note: Sociopaths can fool anyone — even former fraud investigators. Here's what a Lovefraud reader says about his experience. I am a banking attorney, now in the private sector, but formerly conducting criminal bank fraud investigations when I worked for the government. A friend of mine who is a psychiatrist says I am one of the few people he's ever met who can size up a person accurately within 10 seconds. However, I am here to tell you from an experience I've been going through the last week or so that no matter how intuitive or streetsmart a person is, sociopaths can fool anyone. They are a breed unto themselves. I am a gay man and was introduced to my sociopath back in F …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: My journal entry about susceptibility to the sociopath
UPDATED FOR 2023. Editor's note: A Lovefraud reader sent the following entry from her journal. "About 2 1/2 months since the sociopath revealed himself for what he was, I'm now assessing how I made myself so vulnerable in the first place," she wrote. "Shockingly I realize I likely still am... still am as vulnerable... until I do my next needed self-work: truly healing my relationship with myself. Deeply." The following piece represents a step in her healing. I was thinking about whether I'd ever be able to reclaim my memories, once sweet, once preciously loving, of the past two years — ever since the sociopath revealed himself for the liar and deceiver that he is via his cruel d …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: My journal entry about susceptibility to the sociopathRead More
A classic Lovefraud story: I married a sociopath
Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Charlotte23.” She was married to a man for 19 years. She was devastated to learn that she married a sociopath. Of course, I had no idea at the time. I married Tom in 2003. I had been married previously, for 15 years, and got divorced after finding out that my then-husband was cheating on me with someone he met at work. Where did he work? The World Trade Center. He was killed on 9/11/2001. Tom came along right about that same time. I had just bought a lovely home in a beautiful neighborhood for myself and my two children. We dated for a year before getting engaged; it was another year after that before we g …
A doctor twice ends up in the psych ward because of her sociopathic ex
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we'll call Allison23. She reveals how her ex-husband got her thrown into the psych ward — twice. The sociopath in my life “saved” me from my abusive mother and got me out of the trailer park. I eventually earned 4 degrees, one of which was an MD. Looking back, the relationship was always controlling, but he made me believe that he was doing what he did because he needed to “mold” me into the perfect woman because my parents “didn’t do a good job”. As soon as I started making more money than him, his violence escalated and I finally got the courage to leave him in the middle of the night. Little did I know this would be …
A doctor twice ends up in the psych ward because of her sociopathic exRead More
Her husband was engaged in theft, embezzlement and laundering money
Editor’s note: Here’s a story submitted by a Lovefraud reader. Not only was the man she married cheating on her, but he was engaged in theft, embezzlement and laundering money. We met in an AOL IM chatroom in 2005, for people in their 40's. He lived more than 600 miles away from me. Two months after meeting online, we met in a public setting. He told me he was getting divorced when I first met him online: lie #1. He was still married; however, his wife at about that same time had found out about other affairs he had had locally, and left him the weekend he drove out here to meet me in person. Prostate cancer He found out he had prostate cancer 6 months after meeting me, had his prostate …
Her husband was engaged in theft, embezzlement and laundering moneyRead More
The cheating golf pro
Editor’s note: A Lovefraud reader relates her devastating experience with a cheating golf pro. I was unhappily married. Took golf lessons from a golf instructor, was completely enamored by him. He was married, his wife lived in another state and he only went to see her for 3-4 days once a month otherwise was with me. He was an alcoholic, 58, I’m 47, spent from June 2020 when I met him to Oct 2020 here with me and then he left for the winter to live in Fla with her. We talked almost every day. He completely changes Then a month before he came back started acting weird, super mean, things didn’t add up, mind games… When he gets back here April 2021 played mind games all summer, started go …
My pet sitter pleaded for help then stole from me
Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call, “Laura23.” She hired a pet sitter, who turned into a parasite and then a thief. My mother was dying, I had to rush to be by her side. I have two dogs and I never travel because of them. I took a friend's referral to hire a pet sitter. This pet sitter ended up asking to sleep on my couch after my initial evening interview with her, claiming her landlord was creepy when she comes home after dark. With all of the "me too" movement, my initial gut reaction was, "hell no" he isn't going to harass you for coming home after dark. My mother was dying and I had to go out of town again, and used this dog sitter again …
I married a psychopath while he was in jail
Editor's note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Marianne22. She married a psychopath while he was in jail. Met my psychopath (clinically diagnosed) while working at a correctional institution (shame & stupidity felt even now after 28 years). At this time I didn't know about his diagnosis. His indulgent family After his release it became apparently clear that he came from a family (10) that was privileged and personal needs & wants were met at any expense. Slowly at first I started recognizing behaviors that I began to question but always found excuses to downplay his disappearing games, flirtatious contacts and his never ending personal n …
My ex may be a confidential informant
Lovefraud received the following letter from a reader who describes her involvement with a man who may have been a confidential informant. We dated for two years although unequally yoked. The very first thing that occurred was when he initially asked me to date him and after agreeing; although I distinctly told him no Friday date this very first Friday due to me being at the library studying; as I was a studious college student maintaining a 3.5 GPA and above. However, despite both of our parents being professional college graduates, he was a high school dropout. Despite my telling him no Friday date, he approached me at the library. So, with hindsight being 20/20, I now know that was the …
The sociopath smeared and sabotaged me
Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following story from a reader whom we’ll call Christine22 about her involvement with a sociopath who smeared and sabotaged her. There’s so much, too much. He got me fired, so he could move on to the new girl, he’s stolen my identity. He hijacked all my accounts, registered my tablet, phone, and google account as his own. I was catching him using his. So he used my computer to register my tablet, he created I don’t know how many different accounts, and 3rd party apps. He’s had me stalked at home several times when I turn my location sharing off. So he couldn’t make sure I was at home and not finding him at the locations he was at and not at work like he …