Editor's note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, explains that everything in life changes. Then she offers you the secret for how to cope with change when it happens in your life. Read more about Liberty. It always amazes me to consider the wide range of emotions that the word "change" can evoke. Even without context, some people absolutely love it, relishing a new adventure, the next challenge, or an opportunity to expand themselves or their lives in some way. And then there are those people who dread it. They fear it more than almost anything else and do not know how to cope with change. But of course, …
With a sociopath, you can’t just “get over it.” You need to commit yourself to your emotional recovery. Some of these articles are sure to resonate with you.
When you discover the appalling truth, do not confront the sociopath
UPDATED FOR 2024. You've felt like something was off about your romantic partner for a long time, but you could never quite figure out what it was. Then, suddenly and harshly, you learn the truth. You discover that this person is cheating on you. Or forged your signature to open up credit cards. Or has kids you never knew about. Or is only pretending to go to work every day. Or is married to someone else. However it happened, you learn that your partner is betraying you. Your first instinct is to confront your partner and demand answers. DON'T DO IT. When you learn what is really going on, the best thing you can do is nothing, at least temporarily. Do not lash out. Instead, no matter how …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: To the liar named SHAME!
UPDATED FOR 2024. Editor's note: The following was sent to Lovefraud by the reader who posts as “Adelle.” She realized she was listening to a liar named shame, and banished it from her life.Looking back now, I realize how much damage SHAME can do. Of course the Spaths do the damage but along the way we pick up things that we think keep us safe. These things that we cling to so tightly do exactly the opposite of what we think they do.Shame was one of my worst enemies in my SP experience. I didn't want anyone to know, what would they say? What would they think of me? They won't believe me!When I finally started telling people about my experience, I got the occasional, “Not you, you're so …
LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: If the shoe doesn’t fit, don’t wear it!
UPDATED FOR 2024. Editor's note: The following post was submitted by the Lovefraud reader “Adelle.”We often hear the saying, “If the shoe fits wear it.” We all know people are not referring to a shoe. In other words, if the description fits you, own up to it. If someone calls you a fool, and you think you are a fool, then wear that title! If someone calls you a hypocrite and you agree, wear it, you are a hypocrite.But when this phrase is used, it isn't usually given to you as an option. It is usually used as a weapon of accusation. With evil, with intent to hurt. For example, “Are you calling me a liar?” Response: “Well, if the shoe fits wear it.” The person hearing this phrase is usually on …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Thoughts about All Alone
UPDATED FOR 2024. Editor's note: The following email was sent by a Lovefraud reader, whom we'll call “Pamela.” She was married to a sociopath and subject to domestic violence.ALL ALONEAll Alone, I am lying on the floor, all "woe is me," the man who promised to love me lied. I can't find a friend and my own mother's phone doesn't work.All Alone, I'm crying on this floor.All Alone, I notice I am still here. I am sad, but still here, and I've protected my dog that he threatened. My dog is still here. And my body is healthy, even after it has been thrown and bruised, I can still GET UP.All Alone, I feel my feet, I wiggle my toes.All Alone, the tears stop falling, and I look at my feet, and I ris …
We really want you to feel better — and save money
Dr. Liane Leedom and I have been where you are — crushed after betrayal by a sociopath. We know what it’s like to feel shocked, angry and brokenhearted. It’s awful, and we want you to feel better. So we’re inviting you join Dr. Leedom in her groundbreaking webinar series so you can truly overcome narcissistic abuse. The program is called, Skills training for recovery from narcissistic abuse, gaslighting and toxic stress, presented by Dr. Liane Leedom. Every Wednesday, from Sept. 25 to Dec. 18, Dr. Leedom will lead an interactive webinar. She will teach you how to overcome narcissistic abuse — yes, this is something you can learn to do. She’ll teach you mindfulness and stress reducti …
Dear Friend: Please do not take back your sociopathic partner
UPDATED FOR 2024. Editor’s note: This is the letter that everyone who has broken up with a sociopathic partner should receive. (It refers to the sociopath as “he,” but the sociopath can also be “she.”)Dear Friend,We’ve known each other for a long time. We’ve been there for each other through thick and thin. I care about you, even though I haven’t been able to spend much time with you recently — ever since he came into your life. I heard that the two of you have broken up. I’m thrilled. Are you surprised? Did you expect me to be upset about your breakup? I’m not. The guy is no good for you. In fact, he’s no good for anyone. You may not want to hear this, but the person who you thought was the …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: Final words to the sociopath
UPDATED FOR 2024. Editor's note: Lovefraud received this e-mail from a reader who we'll call “Judith.”I hope you read this, you know who you are.I have remained silent for too long. I never used my voice to express how I felt about your actions toward me. I stayed quiet while you stalked and harassed me when I chose to cut all ties with you. I was too worried about what would happen if I spoke up. During that time, I thought no reaction from me would be best and it was. I've since changed my mind and I have determined that there is a difference between "reacting" and using my voice to heal myself.In the last few years, I've done well. I never went back or got caught up in your drama, despite …
FREE introduction to ‘Skills training for recovery from narcissistic abuse’
Lovefraud is pleased to announce a new webinar series called, “Skills training for recovery from narcissistic abuse, gaslighting and toxic stress,” presented by Liane Leedom, M.D.Recovery from the abuse and trauma inflicted by a narcissist, antisocial or psychopath is certainly possible, but it requires effort. In this 13-session program, Dr. Leedom helps you develop the skills to clear your head, deal with stress, gain control of your emotions and create healthy relationships.Please join Dr. Leedom and me for a FREE introductory session:FREE! Your first step towards real recovery from narcissistic abuse and traumaWednesday, Sept. 11, 7-8 pm ET.HighlightsAbout Dr. Liane LeedomDr. Leedom is a …
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10 tips to start dating again after leaving a sociopath
UPDATED FOR 2024. We are allowed to recover from the trauma of a relationship with a sociopath. We are allowed to move on and start dating again. In fact, if we don't move on, if we don't take our lives back, we are still in the trauma. It is healthy to put an end to it.A reporter was writing an article and sent out a query: “How do you know when to trust “your man”? I believe the answer is you can trust your man (or woman) when you can trust yourself.Victim vibesOf course, that is exactly what many of us who had multiple run-ins with sociopaths and other bad actors struggle with. How do we know that we're no longer sending out the “I'm a victim” vibes?I believe the answer is w …
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LETTERS TO LOVEFRAUD: ‘O like Umbrella,’ and the shut down mechanism
UPDATED FOR 2024. Editor's note: The following was written by the Lovefraud reader who posts as “Quest.” He identifies what he believes is the shut down mechanism that psychopaths use on their victims.As most of us know what its like to be a psychopath victim; I am not going to go into all the details of my relationship with a full-blown psychopathic woman that turned my life into a living hell in just 18 months. What I really want to talk about is the mental effects that this woman was able to inflict upon me without my conscious realisation; gaslighting it's called.Just so there is a little background, I am a 55-year-old male and split from my ex psychopath female mate three years ago. We w …
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