By Mary Ann Glynn, LCSW, CHT Most of you who have been involved with a sociopath have been to therapists either with your partner or individually. Therapy is critical to healing from the PTSD of these relationships from control, abuse, manipulation and deceit, and hopefully you have found a therapist who knows techniques for helping PTSD. There is also the rebuilding of self and the grief of loss that therapy can help with, not to mention the potential stressful impact of divorce on yourself and any children. It would be fortunate if your therapist understands the type of relationship you've been in and the person you were with. This is all necessary and important, but there's a critical …
7 Social Science Insights that Will Help You Understand Why It’s Not So Easy to “Just Get the Hell Out”
By Amber Ault, Ph.D. One of the many difficult questions survivors of toxic relationships ask themselves is “why is it so hard to leave someone who treats me so badly?” As rational people, we recognize that a relationship is extremely problematic and believe that the rational course of action would be just to stop the drama. And yet. And yet, this is usually harder than it sounds. While there are practical and logistical barriers to people exiting, the emotional resistance to leaving is usually present even when there aren't kids or property or business deals or divorce laws slowing us down. What accounts for this? Why is it so common? Social science has some insights that hel …
12 songs to help you heal from a sociopath
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/o40fwZgSFPI" title="My%20Give%20a%20Damn%27s%20Busted"] By "JustAboutHealed" The songs that resonate with you can help pinpoint where you are in the healing journey. Written from the heterosexual female viewpoint, ”˜cause that is the path I know. Try using music to chart your past and where you want to get to! 1.Yeah, maybe a bad boy, but still”¦ You think it is mostly an act. If you aim for his heart, you're sure he'll behave, he's got the key. Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5, featuring Christina Aguilera 2. You're In Deep, and Quickly “Crazy for you” is truer than you realize”¦ Crazy for You By Madonna 3. Maybe Something is Wrong”¦ Maybe I'm just im …
Help for building your support team so you can end a toxic relationship
By Amber Ault, Ph.D., MSW Starting September 24, 2016, I will be hosting a five-week Roller Coaster Relationship Recovery Seminar & Support Group by teleconference for people in the US and EU. I especially invite readers of Lovefraud.com to join me in this powerful, supportive environment dedicated to cultivating the skills and strategies you need to create your best, happiest, sanest life possible after a difficult relationship with a toxic partner. In my recent book, The Five Step Exit: Skills You Need to Leave a Narcissist, Psychopath, or Other Toxic Partner and Recover Your Happiness Now, I recommend that anyone who is involved with a toxic partner, preparing to …
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How do I avoid dating a sociopath like my father?
[youtube_sc url="https://youtu.be/UKtYJyhTe40" title="How%20do%20I%20avoid%20dating%20a%20sociopath%20like%20my%20father?"] A 24-year-old woman asks for advice. Her father is a sociopath, and so was her boyfriend. She doesn't know what a healthy relationship looks like so how can she learn to avoid dating another sociopath? I explain that the young woman not only had poor role models, she's suffering from a betrayal bond. The best thing she can do is work on her personal recovery. Then, I tell her how to protect herself from sociopaths. Letters to Lovefraud Videos is a new feature of Lovefraud.com. If you have a question that you'd like me to answer in a video, please send it to donna at l …
Domestic violence and brain trauma
Many women who endured domestic violence suffer from headaches, memory loss, and confused thinking. The cause may be traumatic brain injuries due to blows to the head. Women may be exposed to the same type of head injuries as football players. Fists not football: Brain injuries seen in domestic assaults, on Foxnews.com. …
The Recovery Poem – ‘I could not care less’
Editor's note: This poem of recovery was written by Lovefraud reader, Arpinsandie. (To clarify the first line, a "6th form pupil" is a British term roughly equivalent to a high school student.) By Arpinsandie You cheated on your first wife with a 6th form pupil and groomed pupils You lost your family because of your behaviour You blamed your wife Your second wife found real love through your abhorrent lies anger rage and dominance You blamed her The 3rd - long term partner - Me You tried to control destroy by lying cheating verbally assaulting bullying a classic case of narcissistic behaviour I dumped you You will blame me But then be proud you are an A1 sociopathic robot Who has lost …
My new dog offers a lesson in letting go
Meet my new dog, Bo. My husband, Terry, and I brought him home from a shelter on Thursday. I've been meaning to get a dog ever since my previous dog, Beau, died of old age. That was more than 13 years ago. What took so long? I never felt like I had the time or the energy for another dog then suddenly, more than a decade slipped by. My first dog, Beau Beau was with me when I met my sociopathic ex-husband. During all the confusion and upheaval of my fake marriage to James Montgomery, my dog was the loyal companion that my husband should have been. After two and a half years with Montgomery, I discovered that my entire marriage was a scam. I left him, and Beau was my comfort. As …
On Independence Day: 6 Strategies to break free of the sociopath
Happy 4th of July! In honor of Independence Day, here are six strategies for breaking free of a sociopath, psychopath, narcissist or some other exploiter. Choose the right strategy for your situation, and declare your independence! The No Nonsense Rejection Statement If you were dealing with normal people, you might want spare their feelings or let them down easy. But if you're seeing the Red Flags of Love Fraud and you suspect you're dealing with a sociopath, don't worry about hurting their feelings because they don't have any. If it's early in the involvement, and neither of you have much invested, you can use the rejection statement approach to get away. Here's what you …
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Recovery from a sociopath through poetry
Editors note: A Lovefraud reader whom we'll call "arpinsandie" says that writing poetry helped her recover from an involvement with a sociopath. She shares some of what she wrote, in the hope that it will help others as well. Poem for the Heart Emotion Conscience Less Do you know what hate is No Do you know what it is to be hated No Do you know where hate fits No Where warm humans love Hate is in you Where softness and kindness live You cultivate destruction Why do people cry They are hurt broken bt you Your charm superficial Boredom reigns where love should be A wonderful man to all outside see The real you ? - Only I see Cos you cant You don't hurt Cos you cant You don't love Cos you …