UPDATED FOR 2024. Last week, Lovefraud posted a letter from “Cybil,” I did not choose this guy. Here's more of her experience about "things people say."I'll call this, “Things people say, part II.” This is the other one that bugs me: "You're paranoid." I always have a good 24 hours of self-doubt before I realize they're the ones that are nuts, not me. I know a lot more about what crazy stuff is out there in the world than your average, never-tangled-with-a-sociopath human does.I just went to a seminar of a national expert on how domestic violence leads to murder, especially for women. Over and over he said, "Trust your instinct." He told the audience to take women seriously when they have the …
Dancing as treatment for depression
If you’re feeling depressed — and if you’re involved with a sociopath or narcissist, you certainly have reason to be depressed — how do you overcome it? Many people turn to therapy or medication, but research shows that physical exercise may be just as good. Dancing as treatment for depression is particularly effective.A new study published by the BMJ (formerly British Medical Journal) analyzed multiple previous studies with the objective of identifying the optimal dose and type of exercise for treating major depressive disorder, compared with psychotherapy, antidepressants and control conditions.“Exercise is an effective treatment for depression, with walking or jogging, yoga, and strength t …
Sociopaths can sense deep emotional wounds in the human energy field
UPDATED FOR 2024: A Lovefraud reader sent me the following question:"I seem to only attract what I believe are sociopaths into my life even when I am not trying to find anyone. I feel as if they find me and try to befriend me. Is there some kind of an explanation for this?"This reader posts as "Sam." I previously published her story as a "Letter to Lovefraud." She has deep emotional wounds, and the explanation for her current experience is in her story. Please read it:I have no further use to him and I am being disposed ofSam's story is absolutely tragic. Here is what happened to her:Can you imagine the breadth and depth of Sam's emotional wounds? These wounds are the reason why Sam keeps …
Sociopaths can sense deep emotional wounds in the human energy fieldRead More
Should I warn the next victim?
UPDATED FOR 2024: Lovefraud received the following e-mail from a reader who posts as “forever_me.” She asks a very important question: "Should I warn the next victim?" I'll answer her question after her letter.Hello. I am looking for some guidance. I was in a romantic relationship with a P for over 2 years, but just broke it off earlier this week. I discovered that he was using an online dating site and was able to access it because I knew the patterns of his passwords. I created a bogus profile on the same website and contacted one of the women he was messaging. She was shocked to hear from me because my P told her he was single and not dating anyone. What was worse was that they had eng …
What if you decide to stay with your sociopathic spouse?
You’ve finally figured out what’s wrong with your husband or wife — he or she is disordered. But life is complicated, and maybe you’re wondering if your best option, at least for the time being, is to stay with your sociopathic spouse. Maybe you’ve been married for years. Maybe your relationship was always confusing, your partner wasn’t honest with you, or you felt like you were being used. In the meantime, you went on with life, intermingled your finances, had kids. Now you’ve finally figured out what’s wrong — your partner is disordered. How should you deal with him or her? And how can you care for yourself?Sociopathic spouses are not created equalIf you’re trying to decide what t …
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4 psychological and biological reasons why you can’t accept your partner is a sociopath
After much confusion, perhaps years of confusion, you finally realize why your relationship is so difficult. You’re dealing with a sociopath. This person has hurt, manipulated and exploited you — on purpose. So why won’t you believe it? Here are four psychological and biological reasons why you can’t accept that your partner is a sociopath.He or she is abusive to you. It might be physical, sexual or financial abuse, but certainly emotional or psychological abuse. You know this. You’ve been disappointed time and time again. So why do you still cling on, hoping the person will change?Your inability to end the involvement isn’t necessarily a failure of willpower. I’m going to explain f …
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6 strategies to find the strength to choose yourself
When you learn the truth about your relationship with a sociopath — that it was all fake, and the person never really cared about you — you’re devastated. You feel like you’ve been hit by a steamroller. It’s a searing emotional pain that goes to the core of your being. You may wonder, how can you possibly get over this?Maybe you try to power through, assuming that “Time heals all ills.” Actually, I’m not sure that’s true, at least when it comes to deep emotional pain. From what I can see, based on the thousands of stories I’ve collected, if we don’t deal with the pain, we end up with more of the same down the road. And it’s certainly not true with addictions. Addiction is a key feature o …
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New Year’s Resolutions for Recovering from a Sociopath
UPDATED FOR 2024. If you're in the process of leaving behind a sociopath, or even just contemplating leaving a sociopath, here are New Year's resolutions to help you accomplish your goal and get on the path to healing in 2024.Resolution #1: NO CONTACT!!!!Do not have any contact with the sociopath. Nothing! Nada! Zilch! Zero! This is the most important first step you can take.No Contact is how you escape the sociopath's magnetic pull. It enables the fog in your head to dissipate, so you can clearly see this person for what he or she is — a predator, parasite, or both. No Contact enables you to find your strength and take back your power.When you implement No Contact, you do not see or talk to …
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10 reasons to roll your eyes at sociopaths
UPDATED FOR 2023: Everything sociopaths say is for effect. They are not capable of honest communication — every statement has an agenda.If you have a sociopath in your life, your objective is to get to the point that you simply do not take them seriously. When they are making promises, don't hope that this time they'll really come through. Your reaction should be, "Yeah, right."When you hear any of these statements, the best thing you can do is roll your eyes:Impossible — sociopaths are not capable of loveYes, they will — although it may take a while. Sociopaths can control their behavior, so if they need to walk the straight and narrow temporarily to convince you to stay, they will. But even …
7 reasons not to seek closure from a sociopath
Relationships with sociopaths are intense. In fact, they are intentionally intense — the sociopath demands your attention, showers you with affection, and proclaims everlasting love quickly.What's the rush? They want to hook you before you escape. All their moves are intentional.You, of course, don't know this. You believe that the sociopaths are in hot pursuit because they are smitten and can't live without you. The two of you are, as they swear, soul mates.Then, either suddenly or slowly, the relationship is over.Huh? What happened? How could this person who painted a glistening picture of your future together just turn and walk away without looking back?You want to understand what when w …
