Recovery from a sociopath

Recently a man wrote me saying that his best friend has been more hurtful than helpful when it comes to helping him recover from his relationship with a sociopathic woman. He had the following comment and question. I am sure many of you will relate to this one, especially you guys out there. I have a best friend who I talked to (of course I desperately needed to get my self-identity back). He instantly tried to help me by seeing my own flaws in the relationship and what I could do better, and stated that I overreacted. Of course, his "help" only contributed to her brainwashing and manipulation because it further fueled my questioning about myself, and further made me believe that I was at …

ASK DR. LEEDOM: How can I make my friends understand?Read More

Last week I picked my daughter up from the Agriscience High School she attends and was greeted with a sure sign of spring. There are dozens of new baby lambs who have all just been born. They are very cute but they also look exactly the same to me. My daughter tells me that they look alike because although there are many ewes there is only one ram, so all the babies have the same dad. Even though the babies look alike and to me they smell alike, each one is unique and special to its mother.   Sheep live in herds and unlike some other mammals they do not care for each other's babies. A mother sheep must bond to and learn to identify her baby among the vast herd of lambs who are …

Sheep can teach us about love and it’s pretty scary!Read More

A couple of months ago I had emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder. I'd been feeling discomfort for some time, but put it down to what I was eating, or simply the fact there was a lot of flu going around. And then, one Saturday morning I awoke to excruciating pain in my abdomen. I'd been having little mini-attacks off and on since Christmas, but they had only lasted a few minutes and once gone, could be ignored and even forgotten. But that last attack simply would not stop. My daughter called an ambulance and once in the hospital they told me I needed to have my gallbladder removed immediately. After the surgery, I still wasn't feeling up to par. I was constantly nauseous and tired. …

After the Sociopath is gone: The gift of unconditional loveRead More

Gov. Eliot Spitzer, a beacon of probity, has been caught allegedly hiring a prostitute. He has appeared on TV to apologise - see it here. And what an inadequate job he did. I was reminded of a previous apology he made in the New York Times last July for his administration's involvement in ordering the State Police to record the whereabouts of State Senate majority leader Joseph L. Bruno - read it here. In neither case does he even do the first thing that any apology worth anything should do - he does not state what he did. If you'd missed news broadcasts you'd have no idea what he was apologising for. According to Perfect Apology the key steps in any good apology are: 1. a detailed …

I’m sorry, but that’s no apologyRead More

Recently, I ended up in the hospital twice over a short period of time. (Which accounts for why I have not posted here in awhile.) The first stay was to have surgery to remove my gallbladder. The second was a week later when they had to perform an additional procedure to remove the stones that were left behind. The man in my life was there. He supported me. Held my hand when I was in pain, rubbed my back. He drove me to hospital. He spoke with the doctors. Involved himself in my health care when I was too sick to care to ask the questions I needed to ask. He ensured I was well cared for, ensured I had what I needed to recover. He came to visit me in hospital. Sometimes I'd awaken and …

Sociopaths are filled with empty promises that never turn into healing action.Read More

Many people have asked Lovefraud to suggest a treatment program to help them overcome the personal devastation of a relationship with a sociopath. A friend of Lovefraud, Sandra L. Brown, M.A., offers a program for women who are recovering from such debilitating encounters. Sandra Brown is the author of How to Spot a Dangerous Man, which was reviewed in a previous blog post. The book describes eight types of dangerous men—most of them are sociopaths, or partial sociopaths. Brown then explains how women override their internal warning signals and get involved with these men, even when their instincts are shouting, "Run away!" If you've been in a relationship with a sociopath, at some p …

Help for healing from the devastation of a sociopathRead More