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Recovery from a sociopath

You are here: Home / Archives for Recovery from a sociopath

Post Traumatic Growth: After the sociopath is gone.

May 4, 2008 //  by M.L. Gallagher//  15 Comments

It has been almost five years since the sociopath was arrested and I was given the miracle of getting my life back free from his abuse. It is amazing to me to know that once upon a time, I was abused. I was downtrodden. I was completely broken. The walking, breathing dead. At the time of his arrest, I had given myself up for dead. I dreamt about dying, yearned for my life to end. And then, the police walked in and arrested him and in that moment, everything changed. Life began again. It was not life as I knew it. Life as it was. It was new life, with a whole new perspective and outlook. A whole new appreciation for what it means to live within my human condition, what it means to be …

Post Traumatic Growth: After the sociopath is gone.Read More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

ASK DR. LEEDOM: How can I move on?

April 25, 2008 //  by Liane Leedom, M.D.//  126 Comments

This week we received the following email. I am sharing it with you because what she reports is very common on a number of levels that I will discuss. I was married to a sociopath for 25 years. They were horrible years because most of that time I had no idea I was married to a sociopath. I was deeply in love when we met. He told me everything I wanted to hear. Knowing all my weaknesses and fears he fed them, made me totally emotionally dependent on him. He helped me get great jobs, pumped me up so I would keep making more money, while of course he lived off me. But at the same time kept telling me I was ugly, fat, sickly. He had affairs. All of this and I still kept hoping he would change …

ASK DR. LEEDOM: How can I move on?Read More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

The sociopath leaves, and her OCD symptoms disappear

April 21, 2008 //  by Donna Andersen//  34 Comments

Editor's note: The following story was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who comments as "Free." I was in an emotionally abusive relationship for 13 years. Two years after we started living together, I slowly developed Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It first started off with a safety issue, where I was going around the house checking to see if everything was locked and turned off, until it escalated that I couldn't have knives anywhere near me because I was too afraid that I might lash out and hurt someone. I lived in absolute terror because of this. Some instinct told me to hide all of this as much as I could from my husband. But he did find out and he didn't offer any help, or seek help …

The sociopath leaves, and her OCD symptoms disappearRead More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

The miracle of freedom after the sociopath is gone

April 20, 2008 //  by M.L. Gallagher//  88 Comments

I believe in miracles. Not the rock your world, holy saints and rising apparitions kind of miracles. But rather, the light shifting, change your life, in this moment kind of miracle that takes you by the hand and guides you home. The kind of miracle that awakens you to the truth that this moment is all you've got. The kind of miracle that says, grab me and run with me or lose the miracle of your life forever. I know about miracles like that. I got one on a sunny May morning five years ago when I had given myself up for dead. Well, not dead-dead, but rather, the walking breathing dead kind of living that leeches all energy from your body and leaves you without hope of ever finding a …

The miracle of freedom after the sociopath is goneRead More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

ASK DR. LEEDOM: How can I make my friends understand?

April 18, 2008 //  by Liane Leedom, M.D.//  51 Comments

Recently a man wrote me saying that his best friend has been more hurtful than helpful when it comes to helping him recover from his relationship with a sociopathic woman. He had the following comment and question. I am sure many of you will relate to this one, especially you guys out there. I have a best friend who I talked to (of course I desperately needed to get my self-identity back). He instantly tried to help me by seeing my own flaws in the relationship and what I could do better, and stated that I overreacted. Of course, his "help" only contributed to her brainwashing and manipulation because it further fueled my questioning about myself, and further made me believe that I was at …

ASK DR. LEEDOM: How can I make my friends understand?Read More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

Why did I stay with the sociopath?

April 13, 2008 //  by M.L. Gallagher//  267 Comments

I have wrestled with this question for a long time. While with him, I sometimes wondered, ”˜what on earth am I doing here'? Since gaining my freedom, I have looked back on those 4 years 9 months and wondered, ”˜what on earth was wrong with me that I stayed so long'? I know there are the physiological/psychological factors that compounded my convoluted thinking causing me to believe that I was incapable of leaving him. I know these factors attributed to my inertia and the resultant trauma bonding that held me pinioned in his unholy embrace. But none of these factors explain why an intelligent, well-educated, articulate woman did what I did — before the trauma bonding, the Stockholm Syndrome, …

Why did I stay with the sociopath?Read More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath, Seduced by a sociopath

Sheep can teach us about love and it’s pretty scary!

April 4, 2008 //  by Liane Leedom, M.D.//  52 Comments

Last week I picked my daughter up from the Agriscience High School she attends and was greeted with a sure sign of spring. There are dozens of new baby lambs who have all just been born. They are very cute but they also look exactly the same to me. My daughter tells me that they look alike because although there are many ewes there is only one ram, so all the babies have the same dad. Even though the babies look alike and to me they smell alike, each one is unique and special to its mother.   Sheep live in herds and unlike some other mammals they do not care for each other's babies. A mother sheep must bond to and learn to identify her baby among the vast herd of lambs who are …

Sheep can teach us about love and it’s pretty scary!Read More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

“The conscience is a vital organ”

April 2, 2008 //  by DrSteve//  110 Comments

Isn't it strange how the mind works? I read with approval Dr Leedom's latest post. In it she manages to be at once hard-nosed, realistic, and still keep positve. There are very real differences in the brains of those with psychopathic traits, she writes, but the brain is plastic and therein lies just a sliver of hope. For some reason the opening lines of Martin Amis' novel House of Meetings came back to me. It is set in the Soviet Union: Dear Venus If what they say is true, and my country is dying, then I think I may be able to tell them why. You see, kid, the conscience is a vital organ, and not an extra like the tonsils or the adenoids. Amis has also written a stunning nonfiction …

“The conscience is a vital organ”Read More

Category: Explaining the sociopath, Recovery from a sociopath

BOOK REVIEW: Legal Abuse Syndrome

March 31, 2008 //  by Donna Andersen//  99 Comments

"Victims are created in two ways: by violence or by deceit. Either type of assault immediately renders the victim hostage to the perpetrator." So begins the book Legal Abuse Syndrome, by Karin Huffer, MS, MFT. Lovefraud strongly recommends that anyone who has been victimized by a sociopath read this book, whether you have faced your perpetrator in court or not. The book explains how people who have suffered injury at the hands of some type of predator often face further injury inflicted by lawyers and the courts, who can be, at best, disinterested, and at worst, corrupt. Legal Abuse Syndrome, Huffer says, is a form of post traumatic stress disorder caused by prolonged contact with the …

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Category: Book reviews, Laws and courts, Recovery from a sociopath

After the Sociopath is gone: The gift of unconditional love

March 23, 2008 //  by M.L. Gallagher//  117 Comments

A couple of months ago I had emergency surgery to remove my gallbladder. I'd been feeling discomfort for some time, but put it down to what I was eating, or simply the fact there was a lot of flu going around. And then, one Saturday morning I awoke to excruciating pain in my abdomen. I'd been having little mini-attacks off and on since Christmas, but they had only lasted a few minutes and once gone, could be ignored and even forgotten. But that last attack simply would not stop. My daughter called an ambulance and once in the hospital they told me I needed to have my gallbladder removed immediately. After the surgery, I still wasn't feeling up to par. I was constantly nauseous and tired. …

After the Sociopath is gone: The gift of unconditional loveRead More

Category: Recovery from a sociopath

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