Sociopaths and family Archives | Page 32 of 39 | Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths

LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: How can I help my children not suffer?

May 13, 2009 // by Donna Andersen// 136 Comments

Editor's note: Lovefraud has received another question from Andrea, who wrote in a month ago. If you have any suggestions for her, please share them. I am looking for some strong advice on how to help my children deal with their father ”¦ my ex ”¦ who is a sociopath. We have been divorced for 4 years and I have been terrified of this man. Not so much physically, but more just afraid of his bullying and threats. Even though people have told me that his threats are just words and he cannot follow through on them, it is still hard when he is so confident that he is so right and I am so wrong. I have tried very hard to take the high road through all of this and he falls in this gray area bet …

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What works when dealing with a sociopath?

April 20, 2009 // by Donna Andersen// 285 Comments

Lovefraud recently received the letter below from a reader; we'll call her Andrea. I was married to a sociopath for 12 years (didn't know it until we divorced). He had 3 affairs and was a minister for a majority of that time. He messed up a lot of lives. Anyway, I am at my wits end right now because I cannot get him out of my life because we had 2 children. I am so tired of dealing with him. My kids are 12 and 10 now and my ex is doing everything in his power to try and convince my son to go live with him when he's 14. I see it happening and there's nothing I can do to stop it. I keep notes about everything that happens, but my lawyer tells me that it would be a very hard case if my …

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Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy, meeting highlights: At-risk children

April 19, 2009 // by Liane Leedom, M.D.// 8 Comments

This weekend I am reporting from the 3rd meeting of the Society for the Scientific Study of Psychopathy, where I also presented the results of the research Sandra Brown, M.A. and I did. In the next few weeks I will summarize the highlights of the meeting for you. One of the reasons I attended this meeting was to be sure the information we present to you on this website is up-to-date and accurate. Happily, I came away from the meeting confident, having had conversations with all the leaders in the field. The problems of at-risk children were a major focus of the meeting. Many research teams are working on trying to measure problems with emotional processing in antisocial children. Before we …

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LETTER TO LOVEFRAUD: Leaning on his family while battling his wife

April 15, 2009 // by Donna Andersen// 27 Comments

Editor's note: The following letter was sent by Lovefraud reader; we'll call him “Bob.” Other names and locations have also been changed. We were living in a midwest city; she moved there for her job transfer several months before the children and I could move. She had one previous affair with a co-worker in our previous city. After I discovered the affair, she sought out the job transfer. I believe the reason being to get out of town and not have to face her co-workers and our friends once the news of the affair and our failing marriage got out. She moved to the new city ahead of me, I stayed back with the children to keep them in school and sell the house. Five months later when we all fin …

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Can a 5 year old be a psychopath?

April 11, 2009 // by Liane Leedom, M.D.// 227 Comments

This week while reflecting on the writings that most influenced my thinking about psychopathy/sociopathy, I received a letter from a mother of a five year-old boy whose father shows many signs of the disorder. She wrote: Do you believe that children can show signs of being psychopathic? If so do you teach them to suppress the way they really feel by masking the problems with fake feelings? Can feelings of love really be learned? Just because someone on the outside appears like they have feelings does that mean inside they have actually changed? As you know they are good actors. The skill is learned very quickly to lie to blend in with the others. I bought your book off Amazon I should be …

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Lovefraud extra: It is time for Amy’s law

March 31, 2009 // by Liane Leedom, M.D.// 106 Comments

May, 2008 I brought to your attention the tragic case of Dr. Amy Castillo, a pediatrician who lost her court fight to protect her children from their psychopathic father. Unfortunately, I have to inform you that another two children have been lost and another mother named Amy is left asking how we let her down. Yes I said we let her down. The judge who allowed the children's father, Michael Connolly to have unsupervised visitation was representing all of us. We have to put our heads together and figure out how to change the system. Children need and deserve protection from sociopaths. Mothers and fathers like Amy made a mistake in marriage and love, that shouldn't mean the children …

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When relatives suspect child abuse

March 23, 2009 // by Donna Andersen// 77 Comments

A woman contacted Lovefraud seeking advice in dealing with an extremely disturbing situation. This woman, we'll call her Rosalyn, suspects her sister-in-law of child abuse. Rosalyn has been caring for the child regularly ever since she was small, and the girl is now starting school. The little girl if fine in Rosalyn's care, but when it's time for her go home, when Rosalyn says, “Mommy's coming to get you,” the child starts crying and carrying on. Several times Rosalyn has noticed that the child had bruises. “How did your hurt yourself?” she asked. The girl said she didn't remember. Other incidents also have Rosalyn concerned about her young niece's wellbeing. Rosalyn sees behavior in her …

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Sex differences in antisocial behavior (part 2) intimate partner violence

March 20, 2009 // by Liane Leedom, M.D.// 76 Comments

Last week I introduced the Dunedin study a 30+ year look at the lives, behaviors and personalities of a group of New Zealanders born in 1972. We learned that a small percentage of males and females in the study population were responsible for a high percentage of the antisocial acts reported by the group. Next week, I will discuss the personalities and early histories of this group of people. This week I want to tell you about the one exception to the observation that men were more antisocial than women. In the realm of intimate partner violence, women were as antisocial as men. Furthermore, a general tendency to be antisocial was found in both men and women who were violent toward their …

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Sociopaths and opiate addiction

February 28, 2009 // by Liane Leedom, M.D.// 63 Comments

Heroin and oxycontin belong to a class of drugs called opiates. Lovefraud recently received a letter from a reader that raised the issue of heroin addiction in sociopaths: For nearly two years after my relationship with him ended, I was on the web researching heroin addiction because I assumed this was where all of his abusive behavior came from, but I stumbled upon information on sociopaths, and realized that he fits every trait”¦I know substance abuse behavior can mimic sociopathic behavior, but it is clear that the man I was in a relationship with is a sociopath, and was able to use his addiction as an explanation and excuse to further manipulate the many people who offered help to him”¦ …

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Update from Gem, daughter of imprisoned con artist

February 10, 2009 // by Liane Leedom, M.D.// 45 Comments

I just received this from Gem (see Realities only family members know) so I thought I would pass it along. You can see how wise a resilient young lady can be and what it takes to cope with a sociopath father. I just received a new letter from my dad, I thought I would share it with you... and you are welcome to use anything from this letter for blogging purposes or anything else. " Dear _______(My sweetheart), How are you G- Boy do I miss you! How is your big senior year going. Hang in there you are almost there. I want to wish you a Happy Valentine's Day. You are, and always will be my sweetheart. I love you. I pray for you daily, never missed a day since September 5th. Hang in there, …

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eleanoreliza1234 on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws : “What a beautifully composed response by Emilie 18! Reassuring to know that others have experienced the same. Thank you, Emilie.”
jhmb6 on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “This article suggests that all narcissists are not simply narcissists. There always seems to be a co-occurring disorder. All evidence…”
Joanie Bentz, B.S., M.ED, LBS, CCBP on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “Happy Sunday Donna, and I am not surprised based on the story of your ex that he may have been…”
Donna Andersen on Narcissists and hoarding disorder: “Hi Joanie — thanks for this article! My ex was a complete pack rat. I converted my basement into an…”
Donna Andersen on When bad behavior shows symptoms, not flaws : “Emilie 18 posted the following comment in the Forum. Eleanor Cowen posted a beautifully said piece in the Blog about…”