Two books about sociopaths could be on your reading list this summer. One of them, already out, is by the “Queen of the Best Sellers,” Danielle Steel. In her 108th book, Matters of the Heart, the main character, an accomplished female photographer named Hope Dunne, meets a man who seems to be too good to be true. He is. The guy is a sociopath.
Read an excerpt of Matters of the Heart here.
The author was interviewed last week on Good Morning America. Although I’ve never read any of Danielle Steel’s books, I did like the fact that when she described sociopathic behavior in the interview, she got it right.
“Sociopaths are interesting because one of the things they do is something called mirroring,” she said. “They suss out what it is that is your dream in life and what you really want and need, and then they become that.” Amen, sister!
If anyone is a Danielle Steel fan, perhaps you can pick up the book and let Lovefraud readers know how she did in portraying the personality disorder.
Matters of the Heart on Amazon.com.
Mary Jo Buttafuoco
Perhaps you remember the “Long Island Lolita” story. Back in 1992, 17-year-old Amy Fisher rang Mary Jo Buttafuoco’s doorbell and shot her in the face. It turned out that Joey Buttafuoco, Mary Jo’s husband, was having an affair with the high school student. The case turned into a long-running media circus.
Many years after the incident, Mary Jo realized what the problem was. This August, Mary Jo is telling her story for the first time, and she comes out and says that her ex-husband is a sociopath. The book is called, Getting It Through My Thick Skull—Why I stayed, what I learned, and what millions of people involved with sociopaths need to know. When released, it will be available in the Lovefraud Store.
Talking about sociopaths
The publication of these two books gives me hope that awareness may be growing about the problem of sociopaths. Finally, it seems that the gatekeepers of popular culture are starting to get the idea that sociopaths are not all deranged serial killers. People seem to be becoming less afraid of uttering the word “sociopath” in public.
This is good. More discussion of the personality disorder should lead to more understanding. I hope it continues, so that when the uninitiated—those people lucky enough to have avoided close encounters with a sociopath—start seeing the red flags of predatory behavior, they’ll remember what they read, recognize the warning signs and escape before too much damage is done.
This is my first posting, I may be a bit different than the other individuals in that I am actually a family member of an individual who ‘remains’ married to a known conman and sociopath. Needless to say my login name reflects what I and my husband have been doing for the past several years – examining and investigating everything and anything to do with this topic.
I agree that talking about Sociopaths is a must and I do feel that the publications available are limited. Not only for those who have not yet experienced one, so that they see the RED FLAGS, but for those who are in the midst of it or THE EXTENDED FAMILIES, who just do not know how to handle the situation.
Since we were one of the first to uncover this individuals deceptions, we have been kicked out by our family member and her immediate families lives. Even after authorities and others have come forward to uncover his lies and scams. Although, I can understand some of the embarrasement or ‘pride’ or just anger that they feel toward us because we exposed the one person who they thought was ‘perfect’ in everyway.
The family member has also stopped all communication with any friends or other extended family. No cell phone, no email as far as we know at least! So we are greatly concerned about her well being.
I guess what I am trying to say is, how it is that the S still seems to still have control over this family. And the above explains alot, it took Mary Jo since 1992 to come to grips with the evil that her husband spewed!
I just hope it does not take that long for our family member!
Thanks so much for this site it has helped us tremendously! And if anyone has any advise to us, we basically have tried to move on but still wish we could break through to this family.
Here is an interesting article about the “gangsta” gene.
http://abcnews.go.com/Technology/story?id=7884397&page=1
Welcome Inquirente. Sounds like you have done everything you can. Someone else may have some good advice. I’ve had to leave my family alone now. They themselves are toxic, enough to make me stay away without fanfare.
Well, toxic is a good term for it! Unfortunately the parents of this woman knew that her fiance may be a con and knew of his deceptions and lies prior to their wedding date. They were also bamboozled by him and thought he was a truely successful business man. Even with the information they had that incriminated him, they did nothing to hold off or stop the wedding from happening. This S is truly evil and a keen manipulator. But I I have a hard time understanding any parent encouraging this union with the information that they had.
Just bought the book Children of the Self Absorbed second edition, by Nina W. Brown, ED.D, LPC – I will let you know how it is because I think it will explain some of how and why my niece ended up where she is with this S. Her mother for sure has characteristics of true Narcism.
Dear Inquirente,
Welcome to LF and this is a great place to learn about Ps. I suggest that you go back through the archived articles and read them (just the articles themselves at first) as well as keep on blogging here. It does help and knowledge=power, and the more you know about these people the better you can deal with the situation, even though it doesn’t effect you directly, but I hear your concern and caring about your duped family member. Again, welcome.
I just finished reading two books, one was a book I picked up about a balsa raft sea voyage, called “Voyabe of the Manteno” by John Haslett, who was an expeditioner in the vein of Thor Hydall who had a psychpath on his first crew. He described this man’s personality and his behavior in a wonderful description, but never knew what he had on board. The man would change the course of the raft at night and ended up getting them marooned on a deserted beach, he also released the dingy one night….this man was a monster. Haslett described him in much the same language we did.
“His eyes were dead”, “I felt the presence of evil,” “I didn’t dare turn my back on him.” Etc. yet he did not “get” what he had on board as none of ths man’s evil behavior, his risky behavior that put the entire expedition at risk, even the P’s life at risk, that made no sense to Haslett. Very interesting book.
A Stephen King book, called “Rose Madder” has a first chapter that describes from the victim’s stand point the feelings and thoughts of the victim as she is being beaten by her psychopathic husband. It waas riviting though I am not a King fan per se.
There ARE good descriptions out there of Ps by authors who don’t put the WORD Psychopath in them, but none-the-less, they can describe them.
I also just finished reading about a psychopath named Gary Tison, who was an escape artist violent con man, murderer, who escaped prison in Arizona in 1978. the author calls Tison a psychopath and details his life from childhood, his wife’s life and how he manipulated his children (who were not Ps) into helping him escape. How Tison’s wife, Dorthy and others participated in this man’s life at his whim, and how six people lost their lives because this man conned the warden and others into allowing his escape.
Tison’s son donny, was killed in a road block, two were captuered and at the writing of the book were still on death row, Tison himself deserted his dying son and crawled off into the desert where he died of dehydration and exposure. His wife and several others also served time for conspiracy with him for the escape, and the state of Arizona settled for about a million $ for allowing him to escape though they had plenty of warning from multiple sources that he intended to escape, with the families of the people he killed, including a baby about age 2, a young married couple on their honeymoon, and a teenaged girl and her aunt and uncle who had stopped to help the convicts.
The number of lives this particular psychopath ruined or ended is uncountable. One way or another, even the most “benign” psychopaths, in MHO, wreck everything and everyone they touch.
Thanx, OxDrover
Your comments and the books. I will stay posted and I totally agree knowledge=power! At least my husband and I can feel that we did all we could and we can assist other family in learning all they can.
Donna,
Thank you for this article! I am a (now) firm believer of knowledge=power. Thanks Oxy! It is encouraging to me that more people are realizing the world does contain these evil ones, & that more people are seeking to educate themselves about red flags, s’s, the how to protect themselves. Like Oxy said, they don’t have to be another Ted Bundy to be utterly evil.
I like to recommend this book written by Patricia Evans “THE VERBALLY ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP and How to recognize It and How to respond
This book help me more then I can say! Love it..
http://www.verbalabuse.com/Books.shtml
“Sociopaths are interesting because one of the things they do is something called mirroring,” she said. “They suss out what it is that is your dream in life and what you really want and need, and then they become that.”
Wow, this is so true in my case. He swooped in on me with all his charm and became my “knight in shining armour”. Of course, at the time, it all seemed so awesome, but looking back it was too good to be true. He helped me with things I used to do alone- and do alone now- but things that seemed so gallant at the time- driving me to work on a snowy day; taking me to work when my car was in the shop; replacing a brake light. I do not have anyone in my life that ever helped with things like that.
Of course, it was all fake, and when he got bored with me he just discarded me and moved on to his next victim.
I cried today because my car was in the shop and I had to deal with it without him. But I did- and everything went smoothly. One week and one day of renewed NC.
Dear Blindsided- Im so sorry that you cried today. Sometimes it is surprising how certain issues trigger sadness. BUt be proud of yourself that you did get it handled and probally with no drama. Try to remember that you ARE better off now than ever. He was never good for you. He was never even real. Be glad the illusion has been outted.
take care xoxo.