Two books about sociopaths could be on your reading list this summer. One of them, already out, is by the “Queen of the Best Sellers,” Danielle Steel. In her 108th book, Matters of the Heart, the main character, an accomplished female photographer named Hope Dunne, meets a man who seems to be too good to be true. He is. The guy is a sociopath.
Read an excerpt of Matters of the Heart here.
The author was interviewed last week on Good Morning America. Although I’ve never read any of Danielle Steel’s books, I did like the fact that when she described sociopathic behavior in the interview, she got it right.
“Sociopaths are interesting because one of the things they do is something called mirroring,” she said. “They suss out what it is that is your dream in life and what you really want and need, and then they become that.” Amen, sister!
If anyone is a Danielle Steel fan, perhaps you can pick up the book and let Lovefraud readers know how she did in portraying the personality disorder.
Matters of the Heart on Amazon.com.
Mary Jo Buttafuoco
Perhaps you remember the “Long Island Lolita” story. Back in 1992, 17-year-old Amy Fisher rang Mary Jo Buttafuoco’s doorbell and shot her in the face. It turned out that Joey Buttafuoco, Mary Jo’s husband, was having an affair with the high school student. The case turned into a long-running media circus.
Many years after the incident, Mary Jo realized what the problem was. This August, Mary Jo is telling her story for the first time, and she comes out and says that her ex-husband is a sociopath. The book is called, Getting It Through My Thick Skull—Why I stayed, what I learned, and what millions of people involved with sociopaths need to know. When released, it will be available in the Lovefraud Store.
Talking about sociopaths
The publication of these two books gives me hope that awareness may be growing about the problem of sociopaths. Finally, it seems that the gatekeepers of popular culture are starting to get the idea that sociopaths are not all deranged serial killers. People seem to be becoming less afraid of uttering the word “sociopath” in public.
This is good. More discussion of the personality disorder should lead to more understanding. I hope it continues, so that when the uninitiated—those people lucky enough to have avoided close encounters with a sociopath—start seeing the red flags of predatory behavior, they’ll remember what they read, recognize the warning signs and escape before too much damage is done.
Inquirente- Good to have you here. How awesome that you and your husband care enough to help this girl. Stay strong in your convictions, learn here, and share your information. How all of us here wish someone could have “seen” what we were unable to, and brought it us. Post as often as you wish.
Donna,
Thanks for the post. I used to read alot of Danielle Steel but haven’t read anything of hers in years. Will try to pick up a copy of this book though.
I imagine she does “get it”–maybe on several levels (she is said to have fabricated some of her past, even from childhood, which is allegedly untrue stories she made up) plus she has been married and divorced FIVE times, with two of her husbands being convicted criminals at the time she met and married them. Her 2nd husband was convicted of robbery and sexual assualt–(one of Danielle’s friends said Danielle was drawn to cons and criminals and one of her husbands said she loved the “thrill” of the criminal). She and her lawyers helped get husband number two out of some legal trouble while they were married, and then Husband number two went on to commit some additional rapes and assaults after they divorced.
Third husband was a heroin addict and also had a criminal record and she met him by chance while visiting in prison, then hired him to help her move. Even husband number 5 was convicted of manslaughter due to some sort of yachting accident.
Danielle has alleged “ignorance” of some of the spouses criminal activities prior to her marriage to them, but some of her friends and people in the legal field, plus the husbands themselves say that is hogwash, that she knew about their criminal histories at the time she married them. One husband even has tons of letters she wrote him (often writing him two or three times per day) that seem to back up his claims from what I have read. But my point is, she seems to like to “play victim” and portray herself as the completely innocent one. Kinda reminds me of some of the “victims” who had unconcious or subconscious “issues” that come into play in their choices (in other words they are not entirely “victims” of chance so to speak but are acting out buried desires, who are portrayed in Meloy’s Violent Attachments. But who knows–I’m not saying that is the case with Danielle, just that her situations and choices brings Meloy’s discussion to mind.
Danielle does some good charity type work in the field of mental health, as one of her children (son) suffered from bipolar disorder and drug abuse and died due to suicide/drug overdose in 1997. Danielle wrote a book about his life and death, “His Bright Light” and she has the Nick Traina Foundations which helps fund organizations to treat mental illness. So she has done many good things to help in the field of mental illness.
Well, I got off on a tangent there, but I wanted to add that I am glad to see that Danielle Steel was able to put into words that were plain and simple for the layperson (who has not read up on sociopathy) to understand. High profile people like her getting the word out in basic plain english of how the sociopath operates, and demonstrating WHY the victims so easily falls for it as most any average and normal person would, is a definite step in the right direction, IMO.
Jen,
Fascinating about Danielle Steel. I wasn’t aware of any of it. Maybe she knows more than she lets on.
Jen & Donna
I agree, did not know all of that either. Maybe that is why she was such a ‘fantasy creator’ she was good at setting up her own facade.
Thanks Sabrina for your comments. I use the site so often to gain ‘insight’ and my husband as well. When we came into this situation I found this site and was floored at reading about so many victims, and the similar facades. And it validated all that we were finding out about our nieces fiance. Some of the stories were so identical I thought maybe our nieces fiance was their abuser as well.
Inquirente- Just curious, has your neice read any of these stories here? Is she aware of her reality that she may be married to a S? I didnt see where you had posted this info- I may have missed it. My feeling on this is a sense of urgency to present her with this evidence- even if she is ambivalent about it. It will present “red flags” for her at some point whether she admits to it or not. At the very least, she may take precautions otherwise not heeded.
Got a copy at the library today. Here’s part of what she writes in the preface:
“A sociopath is a person who will destroy you, without a heart, without a conscience, without even a second glance. At first they are too perfect and too good to be true. Then, they remove your heart, and whatever else they want, with a scalpel. The operation they perform is brilliant, often but not always flawless. And when they’ve gotten whatever they came for in the first place, they leave you traumatized, stunned, and bleeding by the roadside, and silently move on, to do it again to someone else.” –fair use quote
Sounds like she’s a member of the club.
Inquirente- Im sorry, I re read where your neice has disassociated herself with you due to trying to expose him of his lies. I guess you have given her some education on the sociopath. There is NO ONE in the family (besides you and your husband) who smells a rat here?? I am very concerned about the situation as I am sure many of us here are as well. Please post often, and feel free to ask for any brainstorming as so many veterans here have immense resources and ideas to help. xoxo
Tood- Perfect summary. This was from Danielle Steele?
Sabrina,
Yes, the author writes those words in the preface.