Editor’s note: Liberty Forrest, author of several self-help books and a certified Law of Attraction Life Coach, explains the basics of recovery and the Law of Attraction. Read more about Liberty.
By Liberty Forrest, PDHom
Do you ever get lost in daydreams? Do you ever close your eyes and get so swept away by some delicious fantasy or other that it’s as though you’re really living it? Then something snaps you back to the here and now, and if you’re a really good daydreamer, and you were very much “gone,” it’s quite a shock to land back here in your present circumstances?
Ah, it was truly lovely while it lasted, wasn’t it? Especially if you land back in unpleasant memories and the fallout from dealing with a toxic relationship.
If only that daydream could be your reality…
Well, the truth is, it could be. Okay, if it was about living on Mars or being married to the hottest celeb on the planet, you might have a little trouble making it happen. But in terms of wanting to improve the conditions of your life, anything is possible.
What is it you want? More money? Peace and healing? The man or woman of your dreams? A house in the country? Or all of the above?!
Everything in the universe is governed by one very powerful law. It is the Law of Attraction — Like attracts like.
Think of yourself like a powerful magnet (because, in fact, that’s what you are). Wherever you direct your focus and energy, that’s what will ultimately become your reality. I’ve seen it happen time and time again in my own life and in the lives of my clients. And it works for the good stuff and the not-so-good stuff.
For example, if you have loads of debt, and you keep thinking how much you hate debt and wish you didn’t have debt and wanted to be out of debt and you’re more and more worried and anxious because you have all this debt, you’re thinking like a person who is in debt. You’ll behave like a person who is in debt — and sadly, sometimes that means people take the attitude that they’re already so far in debt, this extra little expense and that one and those other ones won’t really make much difference.
So, big magnet that you are, you draw more debt to yourself — and possibly even bankruptcy.
Many people have a hard time with this concept. They don’t like to think that they’ve dragged all sorts of misery and tragedy into their lives. They’d rather blame external circumstances for whatever they think is wrong or missing in their lives. It’s true, there are certain things that happen to us that are beyond our control. Generally speaking, though, we create what we believe and expect that we’ll get.
Even with some of those toxic relationships. I know; I didn’t want to think about that when I first heard it either. I’ve had a bunch of those relationships myself and spent years on healing, self-awareness and personal development to be sure I don’t ever have another one. I didn’t want to believe I had anything to do with bringing abuse and dysfunction into my life.
But the truth was that although on the surface, I didn’t think I deserved any of that behaviour, deep down I was still operating out of the hurtful beliefs my emotionally wounded mother had instilled in me as a little child. Beliefs that were repeatedly validated every time I got into another relationship and ended up with people who treated me the way she said I deserved to be treated.
On top of that, she and my father were emotionally unavailable. It took me many years to understand that they had done their best with the tools they had at the time, but their unavailability meant that I was familiar and comfortable with others who treated me that way. It was all I knew, so without it being conscious, I kept being attracted to people who were like that.
I remember taking a “nice guy” home once to meet my parents. My mother said, “What would a nice guy like that see in someone like you?” I wondered the same thing. And of course, I didn’t feel worthy of him. I didn’t act like I was worthy of him. And he lost interest in a hurry. So I kept attracting the emotionally unavailable ones who treated me like I was lucky to be with them and of course, I thought so, too, whatever they dished out.
It’s true that some people grow up in perfectly lovely, warm homes and still manage to end up in toxic relationships and maybe that was you. Perhaps you just ended up with someone who was an excellent con artist and you really couldn’t have seen the truth of who he/she was.
Or perhaps your story is similar to mine. However you ended up in it, it happened.
Although in your head, you might think and say, “I don’t deserve to be treated badly!” there might be deep-seated beliefs that you aren’t worthy of love or that you’ll be rejected, or you think you’re not good enough for someone “nice.” Deep in the subconscious, those old tapes play long and loud and they are emitting a powerful signal. The universe responds in kind and presto, Mr/Ms Wolf-in-Sheep’s-Clothing turns up, appearing to give you all the love you could possibly desire but with subtle undertones of validating your self-deprecating beliefs.
Before you know it, you’re drowning in dysfunction — yet again.
But here’s the good news. If you’re responsible for having created the parts of your life that you don’t like, you’ve also got the ability to create a reality that you will love. And you do this by changing what you’re attracting.
How do you change what you attract? By focusing on what you want, and not on what you don’t want. Focus on changing your attraction. Don’t think about changing your thoughts; just let yourself get lost in daydreams of the life you would love to be living. Close your eyes and visualise. Lose yourself in reverie. Feel the fantasy. Get lost in “wouldn’t it be wonderful if…” and imagine yourself living that life. “En-JOY” yourself with your visualisations… This is how your intentions will be the most pure and powerful.
Thoughts and intention are energy. Thoughts are electromagnetic waves, created by the brain’s electromagnetic field and they produce energy. The thought directs the energy to do its bidding. And you are the creator of your thoughts.
Don’t focus on how you’re going to fix what’s wrong, because then you’re still focusing on “what’s wrong.” You will only attract more of the same. And don’t get caught up in “how” it’s going to happen because this is limiting and restrictive. Just place your order with the Universe and let it figure out how to make it happen. Think about what you want. Close your eyes and see it, feel it, be in it, imagine it as though it’s already happened. Experience it in your mind and feel the joy and gratitude that it brings, for it is the emotion that provides the fuel to turn dreams into reality.
Do this for 5-10 minutes at least once a day. And throughout the rest of the day if you catch yourself focusing on what you don’t want, take a few moments to visualise and feel the daydream again. Don’t think about changing your thoughts, just slide into the fantasy and feel it as if it has already happened.
You are a magnet and you are attracting all the time, whether you know it or not, whether you believe it or not, and the universe will respond to whatever you are creating and visualising in your mind. Recovery and the Law of Attraction means you get to choose what that is. Good or bad, it’s up to you.