A Cambridge professor, Simon Baron-Cohen, has written Zero Degrees of Empathy: A new theory of human cruelty. In this review, the author explains the professor’s ideas.
Read Why a lack of empathy is the root of all evil, on Independent.co.uk.
Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.
LL thats so true about them, my Spath never sweat either and when he did it was when he was high on coke. He never produced an odor though, ever. They do need to create a survey on the oddities!
Ox,
Thanks, but why do baby steps feel like….well BABY steps when I’m adult and should be grown up doing these things already?
Yea, Ox, I got OFF the anti depressants. I do better oFF of them than ON them. I’m getting massage therapy once a week, found a new therapist, dealing with Jr and all of this bullshit, studying, reading…………learning to set boundaries, seeing what happened with the ones I didn’t set to begin with, seeing my spathy parents……..it’s overwhelming…
But there is a bit of a strength that is coming with it all.
If that makes sense.
Rest well Ox.
Hugs.
LL
MissLed,
We are so much alike. I was crippled by my spath and his lies. And what makes me so sad is that I was willing and able participant when we first met.
Three years into it, I started to understand the things I was aware of all along.
He was a liar from the jump and he’ll be a liar until the end.
Karma will get him eventually. Trust in this and heal.
OneBeliever
Hey Far?
I noticed that mine was hypochondriac. A slight knife cut was a major event. he had CONSTANT migraines. Scratching plates with a fork or while cooking would send him out of the room with his hands to his ears….I read in Martha Stouts book that they are SO INTO THEMSELVES (not verbatim) that everything that goes on within their bodies is a MAJOR cataclysmic event!
We really SHOULD have a study or survey done on the oddities of these people.
Some of these oddities would otherwise be viewed as eccentricities….but they’re not, but apart oft he illness I think…
Thanks OneBeliever,
I am counting on Karma to come around for him. Meanwhile, he’s on the other side of the pond and I don’t have to worry about running into him. I’m on the east coast USA.
Just the fact that he lies is enough for me to know to move on. I could never put up with that. I’m 48 and I know better than for a guy at 51 to change his ways.
A bozo button for missled and LL ~! Wear it with PRIDE…for me the embarrasment and humiliation of FINALLY realizing he never cared a toot about me was the biggy..but it fades..i promise.
I don’t understand how you all believe karma comes to a spath.
I don’t believe it does. Mine is as “happy” as a clam.
And he could care less about the carcasses left behind.
I often wonder if we don’t say that to ourselves for comfort, rather than the reality that these people are incapable of feeling, therefore, incapable of consequences that would affect them.
IT sucks, but I’m beginning to see that it’s true.
I’m also seeing that the best revenge is living well.
I’mnot there yet, and mad as hell….but i want to get there.
The greatest gift for me would be complete indifference to what he does or whom he’s with.
I’m not there yet and that’s part of the pain that keeps me “involved”.
NC, for this girl, is a HUGE deal and a MAJOR battle everyday that seems to get worse the further out I get. He’s use to be crawling back.
And I keep that in mind and what would happen if I did.
IN that way, this time,t hings are completely different.
I want a better life.
LL
Hens
That, is my struggle. Completely. BOZO BUTTON IS NOW ON!
I need my wiener while I blog. I’ll be back
LL
Oh, and about knowing early on what he was….
I was visiting my counselor during the Love Blasting (before month 3), and she said, ‘well, you already know 2 things about him…he lies and he cheats. What else do you need to know’??
When we had met on a train, he told me he was 2 weeks away from moving out from his wife. And that he met me too early. Meanwhile, wanted to know everything about me, etc…you can figure the rest. I fell for it all…no idea people could lie so much even though he looked and seemed genuine the entire time.
A big waste of time in the end.
Why would a S admit to his cruel behavoir? My S has admitted to using and abusing to get ahead so they are aware of what theyre doing and joked with his friends about the lies he would tell me. My Spath really was’t too bright. He would tell me how he cheated on past girfriends and used different women for money. Of course these were red flags out of his own mouth I just believed that he was a changed man. I thought to myself, we are young so there is always time for change. What I don’t get is the connection he keeps with his serious relationships. His ex and the mother of his child were always on standby even though he swore they did not communicate. Is this a safety zone?