A Cambridge professor, Simon Baron-Cohen, has written Zero Degrees of Empathy: A new theory of human cruelty. In this review, the author explains the professor’s ideas.
Read Why a lack of empathy is the root of all evil, on Independent.co.uk.
Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.
Hey Mama Gem HIGH FIVE!!!
I just LOVE hearing a success story with these spath types!!
Hens darlin,THEY are the losers!
Im the same re my SIL, I used to hope, now that he has the kids FT,that Id see more of them,aint happened yet!Ive seen the 2 girls exctly twice in 2 years, and last saw my G son on8th Dec., 2008.
SIL is on a Booty call every weekend to see his Girlfrind, I guess its not a toss up to see who wins,
Girlfriend 1, gramma,nil!
Also Im gonna stop sending Birthday and Xmas gifts, as in several years Ive NEVER ever had a thank you,from any of them, not by letter, card, phone or email,so THATS IT!! Just a card from now on, and they dont even deserve that!
Love, GemXX
((((((((((( mama ))))))))))))))
Hugs!
((((((((((((((( hens )))))))))))))))))
I’m so sorry to read this about your son.
It makes me feel VERY sad for you. You’re such a loving person with such a big heart. I can’t imagine the kind of wonderful father you are to your sons….
The catholic faith doesn’t allow for “gays” in the church. But it shouldn’t be about one’s religious dogma, but about love. I’m so sorry…..
I hope some day that your son will see more of your love for him than pleasing a religious dogma that his wife is attached too.
They’re the ones missing out.
I feel for your pain on this………..I’m really sorry…..it’s just not right.
Hugs
LL
Hens, sugar, I used to blame son C for not coming around because I knew his wife didn’t like me (she knew I had her number) but you know….it wasn’t HER FAULT, I realize now, it was HIM USING HER AS AN EXCUSE….just like it wasn’t her fault that his credit was ruined (he used her as an excuse) if he had WANTED to have come around he would have…..of course when he needed me, it was a different story….but I no longer give him a pass and put all the blame on her….,people do what THEY WANT TO DO.
I know it hurts when we realize that our kids don’t care as much about us as we wish they did—but I’ve let mine go now….I’m essentially NC with him, very limited contact, seen him 1 x in 16 months, and very limited contact via e mail just to work together on protecting ourselves from the egg donor and from P-son Patrick.
He’s hooking himself up with a new family, a guy that he works with, not bad people but a couple and their unmarried daughter, so I wouldn’t be surprised to see him remarry before too long. If I find out about it I will send a card, but even if he invited me I wouldn’t go….he didn’t invite me to the last wedding, they ran off and we found out about it by the marriage license being published in the newspaper. He’s on his own now…and I’m okay with that…REALLY okay with it. A while back (couple of months) when I had asked him to come by to get the box of stuff I had found of his here I was dreading him coming…but I actually didn’t get upset, more just “ho hum”—same old shait! Just cordial and casual but not huggy. He was chirpy and friendly, and seemed in a “up beat” mood. Good for him. I wish him no ill will. I know he has lied to these folks about me “throwing him out” without any notice (I gave him 30 days notice to move) but he went to work the next day and told this guy and his boss both that I “had thrown him out in the middle of the night for no good reason.” So his relationship is not on an honest level with them either.
When any relationship is not based on honesty, it isn’t much of a relationship…so since my son C is not honest with me (or with others apparently) I really don’t want or need a relationship with him. Looking back too, it wasn’t just the ONE lie he told me, or the ONE lie he told his friend or his boss, but the many times he had lied to me in the past, the many times he had shown disrespect, lack of appreciation, the lack of responsiblity, and the fact that he teamed up with the Trojan HOrse and his wife who he KNEW were illegally controlling my cell phone service, stealing my identity and trying to drive me from my home and he did not warn me…heck, I would warn the neighbor “crazy bob” if I knew someone was trying to harm him and I don’t like him a bit.
Thanks – it’s something I am not really comfortable talking about. I have seen narcissist trait’s in him. I love him so much, but he has always been kinda distant, his own man, does his own thing, he would be here in a heartbeat if I really needed him, I think.
Well, actually believe it or not so would son C…but you know, I would eat chiat and die before I would ask him for a favor—sort of like I would live in a card board box and eat out of a dumpster before I would ask egg donor for money….I won’t take a favor from anyone who uses it as a “payment” on control or not freely given, or makes them feel like I owe them something.
So you know….what goes round comes round…and I am content to let people be with me if they actually WANT to be with me, but no one owes me to be my friend, not even my kids…
Boy the thunder is booming outside tonight! Looks llike the tornadoes have moved on out now though and we are just getting rain and thunder boomers….think I’m gonna go to bed, got to go to the dentist tomorrow. Oh, Joy! See you guys later.
(( Ox )))
HOpe you are safe!
Hens, I agree with what Ox said here.
I know it’s painful……I don’t have kids who are doing that to me on a consistent basis, but I do have a daughter with what I believe are N traits and she’s played the whole grand kids card with me, being their mother………I’ve had to put down boundaries, and sometimes that meant I didn’t see my grandkids for months….
I’m so sorry honey. Truly. I’m not sure that these children who are lost, but not totally without conscience don’t love us….I’m not ready to buy that yet…
I guess it’s just up to us as to when we let go of the illusion that they are different than the distance they create and the emotional neglect that they are…..
I’m inclined to agree with Ox in this last post of hers here…
I mean, really, what can you do? And if you could do something, would it be worth the sacrifices of your soul that you’ve already given to so many who couldn’t appreciate it for one reason or another?
You’re such a sweet soul. I see your love for your children. I understand how it hurts……..
BUt don’t take it personally. Kids know when we love them. No matter our faults or preferences.
Just know you did the best you could and are doing the best you can 🙂
Hugs
LL
PS,
Do what I’m doing now, Hens. Go hug and love on the wieners.
I swear I’d die without my Hercules, all curled up next to me on my bed. His nose stuffed in my armpit (hard to type this way and I don’t get it because I did NOT put on deodorant today, UGH!).
Hugs
LL
Herc is probably getting a high from the sweet smell of your sweat! LOL!! Remember they have a different attitude from us to smells. To smell another dogs behind would be heaven for them!
Did you notice, all wieners smell of fresh toast.? Just go smell his forehead.!{Not cinnamon toast, just ordinary toast!!}
{{{{LOve,}}}
Mama GemXXX