A Cambridge professor, Simon Baron-Cohen, has written Zero Degrees of Empathy: A new theory of human cruelty. In this review, the author explains the professor’s ideas.
Read Why a lack of empathy is the root of all evil, on Independent.co.uk.
Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.
Recovering
Just keep the faith LL. Keep praying. Know that the sins of a father come upon his children. This is true. All you can do is keep the morality, ethic, and kindness teachings in your home. Teach them good character and what is good vs bad. Have you talked with a therpaist about them yet?
lesson learned
Far,
Yep. Took my youngest to a therapist a week ago. That didn’t work out. So onto a new one. I want a full psych eval.
Most of my children are grown and gone now, Far. I also have two grandchildren.
Just two boys left at home and this is the last in line.
LL
Recovering
Well know i am praying for you because this is an ugly illness.
lesson learned
Far,
Thank you. It is. I’m learning to accept whatever the outcome will be. I’ve been through this with another of my son’s before, but the outcome was very positive. I’m not sure about this one. Not yet.
I’ll have a better idea after the psych eval.
LL
Recovering
Well keep us informed.
Ox Drover
Thank you Sarah. Guys this discussion is so good. Kim, I totally agree with you, we must not allow ourselves to become bitter and frustrated, focused only on the bad side of life, and the bad people, and to dehumanize them—as much as it is tempting to do so.
That creep, “Crazy Bob” that lives across the road from me that sued me for $50,000 for HIS MENTAL SUFFERING because the plane my husband died in crashed in his pasture (doing no damage to anything or anyone besides the people in the plane) I lay awake night after night visualizing pulling his finger nails out with pliers night after night….shooting him, hating him….but it wasn’t hurting HIM, IT WAS EATING ME! The hired hand we had at the time, who was with me when we went to the crash site, stole my husband’s gold watch off his arm as he lay dying, and I hated him with a passion….I visualized doing all kinds of things to him….but it was EATING ME and not hurting him. I had to get those horrible thoughts out of my head. Out of my heart.
I did not want to be like those people who could do what they did to someone else…steal off a dying man, sue his widow…what kind of person does those things? Some pretty low life’s but if I let them make me hate, then I am in worse shape than they are. I would rather be ME and be the victim, than be THEM and be ABLE to do the things they do, and think they way they do. To have no compassion. Neither of these two men have a friend in the world and both are pitiful examples of humanity, but I would rather not have glee at their debasement in this life or what they might face in the next one.
I’ve not lead a perfect life myself, I’ve done things I’m not particularly proud of, I’ve said things I would bite my tongue if I could take back….but I am striving to be a better person, and getting the bitterness out of my heart even toward the people who do horrid things to others is part of that process. I can hold them accountable, and feel justifiable anger at what they have done wrong, but I won’t let it turn to bitterness and poison in my own soul! If I do they WIN! I won’t let that happen.
Recovering
Thanks Ox, I needed to hear that. It is hard trying to be true to yourself when you want revenge for something/someone that has wronged you. I am in the stage now of being angry, I am past the hurt that my S caused me. A friend sent me this, mabe it can help some others as well “How people treat you is their karma, how you react is yours” Thanks again!
Ox Drover
Dear Farwronged,
VERY TRUE! We have choices just as they do…I think we are better off if we choose well…protect ourselves and others if we can, but move on, not get mired in bitterness, hate, anger and revenge.
Ana
Oxy,
I think Viktor Frankl’s book kind of makes you take a look at yourself, evaluate yourself, your REACTIONS to problems that come up in life. Thanks again for the suggestion to read it. It lit a fire under my rear end for sure!!!
Now, I’ve got one for you if you have not read it already. The main character reminds me of you! It’s called “Half Broke Horses” by Jeannette Walls. It’s a paperback. It’s a just for fun read. Although she does get conned!!
Ox Drover
Thanks, Ana, I will order it tonight off the net….I sometimes act like a “half broke horse—or jack ass!” LOL I like a good read that is just a good story and that sounds like one…looking forward to it.
Yea, I agree that Frankl makes us take a HARD LOOK at how we react to even the WORST trauma–and if he can over come what he went through, I think we can too. Carrie ten Boom’s “The Hiding place” about her time in concentration camps in Germany (she was a dutch lady who hid Jews in her home) and her losses and her helping others recover from the camps afterward is wonderful as well. I just reread Carrie’s book, and it is as uplifting as Frankl’s is. I think nothing I have endured is nearly as horrific as what these people went through and I figure they are a good example for me to follow. I do NOT want to be embittered. I’ve seen people who took their losses and became bitter, angry and unhappy and I sure as heck do not want that.
I want to celebrate life and peace and happiness and love and caring…not be miserable about what others have done. It isn’t always easy, but I’m going to keep working on it. That’s why I’m still here at LF after going on 4 years! There is so much to learn here and to share as well.