Back in June, a New Jersey judge declared the state’s Prevention of Domestic Violence Act to be unconstitutional. Judge Francis B. Schultz, of the Superior Court in Hudson County, determined that it was too easy for someone who claimed domestic violence to get a restraining order.
The ruling was controversial. When I first read about the case, I was astounded that a court would take such a stand against domestic violence victims. Sandy Clark, associate director of the New Jersey Coalition for Battered Women, considers New Jersey’s law to be among the best in the country, according to NJ.com.
New Jersey’s law
The Prevention of Domestic Violence Act is strict. Some of its provisions include:
- Police must respond to calls of domestic violence victims.
- If there are any signs of physical injuries the police must arrest the abuser.
- Police may also arrest the abuser without witnesses or signs of physical injuries.
- Police are required to give victims information about their rights and to help them.
- Temporary restraining orders (TRO) may be issued by the superior court or a municipal court.
- A domestic violence hearing must be held within 10 days of issuing the TRO.
At the domestic violence hearing, the judge may grant substantial relief to the victim, including:
- Temporary custody of children
- Monetary compensation
- Barring the defendant from the home, regardless of who owns or leases it
- Prohibiting the defendant from any oral, written, personal or other form of contact with the victim and others, including children
Violating due process
The law allows the judge in the domestic violence hearing to make his or her decision based upon the “preponderance of evidence.” That’s where Judge Schultz had a problem. He wrote that this violates the defendant’s right of due process, and that the standard should be “clear and convincing evidence,” which is more difficult to achieve.
In his 21-page opinion on Crespo v. Crespo, Judge Schultz wrote, “It is well-established that a parent’s right to the care and companionship of his or her child is so fundamental as to be guaranteed protection under the First, Ninth, and Fourteenth Amendments to the United States Constitution.”
He continued, “That a fundamental right could be forfeited as a result of a rapidly calendared, summary hearing without discovery, where the only protection afforded the defendant is the ‘mere preponderance standard’ clearly offends the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment.”
Quite frankly, given that there are people who falsely accuse their partners of domestic violence, the judge’s arguments make sense.
Battle of the sexes
According to NJ.com, women’s rights groups and the Attorney General’s Office are preparing to challenge the ruling. It appears that the case may be headed for the New Jersey Supreme Court.
Others considered the ruling a victory for men. An article posted on the DailyRecord.com declared that Judge Schultz should be considered an American hero.
“He stood up against the powerful feminist-controlled domestic violence machine and ruled that the New Jersey domestic violence statute is unconstitutional, and that people’s 14th amendment rights were being violated. Judge Schultz could have taken the politically correct route; he did not.
“The state Attorney General’s Office, in league with the battered women’s groups, has come out against this ruling and plans to appeal to the state Supreme Court. These two ‘partners in crime’ are yelling that the sky is falling because a court ruled that the standard of proof is unconstitutionally too low.”
The issue is being cast as today’s battle of the sexes. Unfortunately, people on both sides are fighting the wrong battle.
Men and women perpetrators
Battered women’s groups argue that female victims, and their children, need to be protected from abusive men. Father’s rights groups argue that women file false abuse complaints simply to be vengeful, and get away with it. They both accuse divorce and child custody lawyers of using abuse allegations as a strategy to win their cases.
They’re all right some of the time. None of them are right all of the time.
Lovefraud has heard from plenty of women who were seriously abused by male partners. And we’ve heard from plenty of men who were abused by female partners—including physical violence.
We’ve heard stories of abusive men manipulating the legal system to get children taken away from battered mothers. And we’ve heard stories of men fighting to get custody of their children from abusive mothers, facing judges who believe that mothers simply do not harm their children.
Sociopaths and domestic violence
Dr. Liane Leedom says that half of domestic violence perpetrators are sociopaths, and the other half have sociopathic tendencies.
Sociopaths, as Lovefraud readers well know, are both men and women. And whether male or female, they are equally vicious and destructive.
So this is not a battle of the sexes. The real struggle is between sociopaths and their victims; between people who have a conscience and those who do not.
If you’ve been a victim of domestic violence, or have been falsely accused of domestic violence, please tell Lovefraud about your experience with law enforcement and the courts. Did the police and/or courts act appropriately? Were they able to determine who was telling the truth? Why or why not?
Please don’t use any names, although you may identify the jurisdiction (county or state) if you want.
I really wuv you guyz.
Henry I have this internet buddy…….yeah I know.. I can’t help thinking of you every time I talk to him.. so sweet, so cowboy, so gay 😛
Henry: What are you thinking about…finding someone else is not going to be the solution to happiness. How long has it been since your ex has been away? It takes time. Obviously, you are not ready yet to jump into something else anyway so why don’t you use time to do something to take your mind off the hurts? I know it sucks. When my ex walked out (well, i kicked him out) of my life it felt like someone died. The first two months I stayed in bed all day on weekends…smoking cigarettes and crying. I let it all out. I cried at my desk at work. The 3rd month, I started feeling better. I got my hair cut, manicure, dropped a fortune at Macys for new clothes, sold one of the cars (one was his,) started paying my bills again because I let everything go, started studying again for my school exam that was blown off because of the trauma.
I’m into month 4. Joined a gym last night with my cousin. At the gym I ran into an old co-worker I hadn’t seen in 3 yrs. So nice to get out and talk to people again and reconnect with family. I’m still battling the ex S to sign over the deed to my condo. I am so strong now that I called the prosecutor and a detective is going to help me. Things are looking brighter.
I couldn’t even imagine dating someone seriously right now. What I did was put myself on a dating website. . just to get out to feel normal again. I went on 2 dates with 2 different guys in the past 4 months. I did not feel right with either of them. But it got me out of the house and it helps me test the waters. I’ll know when I’m ready for a serious relationship again.
I was thinking about why none of my relationships work out. Thinking I need to stop being a rescuer…such a giver…such a sucker. Also, spirituality wise, none of our relationships will be right unless they are blessed by God. God does not bless relationships where one party enters into it with the motivation of one of the deadly sins involved (lust, greed, sloth, vanity, etc.) Think about it. Think what motivates us to hook up with someone. Think about why the other person wants to hook up with us. Look at the other person’s motivations.
Next time I feel like I want a serious relationship, I will ask WHY. WHY do you want to be in a serious relationship with me? Because I look good (lust?) Because I have money (greed,) and you want someone to take care of you (sloth), etc.
Henry:
PS: Next time I do get seriously involved with someone else, I will do a background check and criminal check too.
Henry, I may never meet anyone again or someone right for me. I have decided though, if I can’t meet someone whose motivations are true as I mentioned in my last paragraph last blog, I will be alone. Period. I’d rather be happy alone than stressed out made ill by someone who doesn’t give a shit in the wind about me.
Wow Iwonder, I read what you wrote to our Henry, you get it?
Peace.
Dear Iwonder!!!!
TOWANDA!!! GF!!! RIGHT ON!!!!
Henry, I just got an idea, a “brain fart” if you will. I think part of your loneliness is just living in the house “alone”–why don’t you see if you can’t find a FEMALE room mate (that way there won’t be any problems with it developing into anything romantic) And I can tell you, my son D is a GREAT COMFORT to have here, just another living soul with some of the same goals that I have. He is the best roommate I have ever had. He doens’t get in my space, we live in different ends of the house really, we don’t intrude on each other’s space and we are great FRIENDS.
He was gone for 8 months a couple of years ago off on a job, and it felt strange here by myself. I realized it was the first time in 40 years I had lived totally alone—no husband, no kids, no roommates. I rattled around like a BB in a boxcar for a couple of months until I got used to it and adjusted.
But I realize now, looking back, that my loneliness at that time, just pacing from room to room, was just wanting someone that I knew would “come home” sooner or later.
During my marriage to my late husband, there were times He would be gone off on a job for a week or a month, once for six months, but we talked on the phone daily, or he would be home on the weekends, so even though I was in the house “alone” at that time, I really WASN’T emotionally “alone” cause I talked to him, and I knew he would be back in a day, a week, or when ever.
All during the time my son C and his P-wife lived just across the field, next door to my mom, they might as well have lived 1000 miles away, so proximety isn’t just physical or distance it is emotional as well. Now my son C lives 8 hours away and he is CLOSE, because I talk to him frequently on the phone and he comes home to visit as often as he can.
BTW, I got up this morning and made coffee and stood in the dining room looking out through the paned sliding glass doors onto the deck which sticks out into the woods which slope steeply down to a little gully, and the thin fall sunshine was filtering through the trees, and I just stood there so grateful to God for what he has provided for me. It felt really GOOD to be back inside my house again, I felt safe and happy.
Henry: YES! OX IS RIGHT! Remember Will & Grace?? Oh it would be fantasic.
Henry, just remember to pay attention to any RED flags going off concerning these new roomies (LOL).
Hey All, I just got a text from my ex S. He said yesterday wasn’t a good day to get the deed papers signed but that his GF made an appt at a notary’s office for him to go today. He’ll have it done & papers mailed tonight and crap from the garage picked up this Saturday. I wrote him back, thank you. You will never hear from me again. Good luck with GF. He doesn’t know how close he came to having the prosecutor call him today. . or show up at his GF’s house (because really it’s her house.) Anyway, this clears up the question as to whether or not she was involved in a scam to steel my property. Looks like she wasn’t in on it. But, I’ll bet she will never ever put his name on the deed to her home. She also wont believe a word he says or trust him not to cheat. Afterall, he cheated on me with her, so why wouldn’t he do that to her? Ewwww. She can have him. This is one nightmare coming to an end.
Iwonder, I hope your bubble doesn’t get bursed and he follows through with signing the paperwork over to you.
How do you know his current GF knows? Did he tell you that, or did you talk with her? If he told you that, most likely it’s a lie. If you talked with her directly and got your answer right from the horses mouth … even then, I’d be suspicious that this women is even his GF … she could be someone else pretending. I found that out with my ex … as other people called and said “Wini, I talked with you myself, remember”? Not.
They’re very very very sneaky. Watch yourself.
Seriously, I hope he follows through and it’s a done deal. Over and out … then you can go on with your life … happier and content.
Peace.