Back in June, a New Jersey judge declared the state’s Prevention of Domestic Violence Act to be unconstitutional. Judge Francis B. Schultz, of the Superior Court in Hudson County, determined that it was too easy for someone who claimed domestic violence to get a restraining order.
The ruling was controversial. When I first read about the case, I was astounded that a court would take such a stand against domestic violence victims. Sandy Clark, associate director of the New Jersey Coalition for Battered Women, considers New Jersey’s law to be among the best in the country, according to NJ.com.
New Jersey’s law
The Prevention of Domestic Violence Act is strict. Some of its provisions include:
- Police must respond to calls of domestic violence victims.
- If there are any signs of physical injuries the police must arrest the abuser.
- Police may also arrest the abuser without witnesses or signs of physical injuries.
- Police are required to give victims information about their rights and to help them.
- Temporary restraining orders (TRO) may be issued by the superior court or a municipal court.
- A domestic violence hearing must be held within 10 days of issuing the TRO.
At the domestic violence hearing, the judge may grant substantial relief to the victim, including:
- Temporary custody of children
- Monetary compensation
- Barring the defendant from the home, regardless of who owns or leases it
- Prohibiting the defendant from any oral, written, personal or other form of contact with the victim and others, including children
Violating due process
The law allows the judge in the domestic violence hearing to make his or her decision based upon the “preponderance of evidence.” That’s where Judge Schultz had a problem. He wrote that this violates the defendant’s right of due process, and that the standard should be “clear and convincing evidence,” which is more difficult to achieve.
In his 21-page opinion on Crespo v. Crespo, Judge Schultz wrote, “It is well-established that a parent’s right to the care and companionship of his or her child is so fundamental as to be guaranteed protection under the First, Ninth, and Fourteenth Amendments to the United States Constitution.”
He continued, “That a fundamental right could be forfeited as a result of a rapidly calendared, summary hearing without discovery, where the only protection afforded the defendant is the ‘mere preponderance standard’ clearly offends the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment.”
Quite frankly, given that there are people who falsely accuse their partners of domestic violence, the judge’s arguments make sense.
Battle of the sexes
According to NJ.com, women’s rights groups and the Attorney General’s Office are preparing to challenge the ruling. It appears that the case may be headed for the New Jersey Supreme Court.
Others considered the ruling a victory for men. An article posted on the DailyRecord.com declared that Judge Schultz should be considered an American hero.
“He stood up against the powerful feminist-controlled domestic violence machine and ruled that the New Jersey domestic violence statute is unconstitutional, and that people’s 14th amendment rights were being violated. Judge Schultz could have taken the politically correct route; he did not.
“The state Attorney General’s Office, in league with the battered women’s groups, has come out against this ruling and plans to appeal to the state Supreme Court. These two ‘partners in crime’ are yelling that the sky is falling because a court ruled that the standard of proof is unconstitutionally too low.”
The issue is being cast as today’s battle of the sexes. Unfortunately, people on both sides are fighting the wrong battle.
Men and women perpetrators
Battered women’s groups argue that female victims, and their children, need to be protected from abusive men. Father’s rights groups argue that women file false abuse complaints simply to be vengeful, and get away with it. They both accuse divorce and child custody lawyers of using abuse allegations as a strategy to win their cases.
They’re all right some of the time. None of them are right all of the time.
Lovefraud has heard from plenty of women who were seriously abused by male partners. And we’ve heard from plenty of men who were abused by female partners—including physical violence.
We’ve heard stories of abusive men manipulating the legal system to get children taken away from battered mothers. And we’ve heard stories of men fighting to get custody of their children from abusive mothers, facing judges who believe that mothers simply do not harm their children.
Sociopaths and domestic violence
Dr. Liane Leedom says that half of domestic violence perpetrators are sociopaths, and the other half have sociopathic tendencies.
Sociopaths, as Lovefraud readers well know, are both men and women. And whether male or female, they are equally vicious and destructive.
So this is not a battle of the sexes. The real struggle is between sociopaths and their victims; between people who have a conscience and those who do not.
If you’ve been a victim of domestic violence, or have been falsely accused of domestic violence, please tell Lovefraud about your experience with law enforcement and the courts. Did the police and/or courts act appropriately? Were they able to determine who was telling the truth? Why or why not?
Please don’t use any names, although you may identify the jurisdiction (county or state) if you want.
Iwonder: my prayers are with you. hope for the best but prepare for anything. i don’t think my ex-perv ever did ONE thing he said he would do.
even after he charmed me into coming back to the city to be with him (he tried for two years until he finally came upon the CORRECT scheme to entice me) and promised to help me move in, when i arrived four of his friends were there to help. he wasn’t. he showed up just as they were finishing. the supervisor. he doesn’t move anything; he gets others to. i should have seen it all then, but instead i was fascinated that he had everyone ‘looking up’ to him. like i said in a previous post, he is such a ‘master’ that even his guy friends are his bitches. nothing he says he will do, he does. and that goes twice for those things he knows i needed him to do.
with hopes that all goes your way …
Hello LIG & Wini: Well today sucked. The S called from the library getting deed notarized but now he wants one more thing…a letter signed and notarized be me stating he is not responsible for any property taxes or other obligations that may arise. He also said you know I legally don’t have to give this to you…i could go to court. But, I can’t keep something that isn’t mine..that I did not work for. He said it would be my word against his because I willingly signed. We got into a shouting match. I reminded him how his name got on there…because he said we were getting married! I told you I would put your name on if you showed me your were serious about marriage by filing the annulment! He denied he even mentioned marriage. I said, “what?” You insisted I call you “fiance.” We talked about getting married by Dec 06 on the beach in Peurto Rico. We went looking for rings at the Jewlery Exchange. We saw 2 lawyers before Dec 06 to get your marriage annulled and you didn’t follow through..then we went to the courthouse to file the annullment Feb 07 ..a month before you moved in. What a liar!!
Then he brought up the car…how I should have let him keep it and make payments because he was going to get it refinanced in a loan in his name. I told him I did not trust him because he made $0 payments for the 16 mos he had it. This guy is such a retard. He still doesn’t have his own car. If he can’t get credit for his own car, what makes me think he would have gotten a loan to refinance in his name? He is jerking me around with the deed because he’s still mad about the car.
Well, I told him, “I loved you enough to marry you and spend the rest of my life with you. You didn’t love me. You loved T*** and wanted to be with her. Therefore, you win and I lose.” I figure this way he feels like he is in control and he “won.”
Anyway, I’m going to try to do what he says. This is the last thing. I have the prosecutor waiting on me if he doesn’t come through.
Wini: I don’t know if the girlfriend is in on it or not. When I was having the argument on the phone with the S today and he denied ever talking marriage with me, I said, “why are you saying these things? Is it because T*** is there and you want to look good in front of her?” He said she wasn’t there but who knows. A liar is a liar.
He’s just mad because now he has to use T**’s car everywhere he goes or bum rides. He blames me.
I can’t wait until NC. I don’t love him, don’t hate him. don’t anything him. He’s nothing.
Iwonder: i would have given my ex anything he wanted just to have him leave me alone and be done with him.
he’s just jerking you around because …. he can.
try to get through this with the minimum of contact (he’ll screw with your head all he can) and get those papers signed by any means necessary, as long as it doesn’t screw you.
you’ve got us all behind you.
peace.
Iwonder: Let me explain scenarios my psycho co-workers did at work. If a customer needed to complete 10 steps to get something accomplished … my psycho co-workers would tell the person … do steps 1, 2 and 3 and mail it back to me. So the customer leaves our office, takes time off from work, get # 1 completed. Next day, they take 1/2 day off and get #2 and 3 completed. Mail the steps back to my co-worker. Meanwhile, psycho CW doesn’t do anything for this customer. Few days later, customer calls … psycho CW gets on the phone and says your application is not complete, you need to do steps 4, 5, and 6. So, customer gets off the phone … takes time off from work and gets 4 and 5 done. Next day, they take another 1/2 day off and complete step 6. They bring the process into the office and talk with Psycho CW. Psycho CW now tells them, well you’ve got to do 7, 8 and 9.
No matter how many hoops my psycho co-worker would tell the person … they were just giving them those hoops to jump through. Never telling the customer … look sis, there’s 20 steps you’ve got to do, have it notorized and get it back to me. Done deal. NOOOOOOOOOO, they play all these games to get you to jump through hoops. If you jump through all the hoops, they’ll have another 20 hoops and another 20. It’s endless the nonsense they will put you through. And, they get a kick out of it. Never giving you what you want.
So, like I said, if you are lucky to get the note back without the headaches and financial expenses… get it and run … and don’t look back.
And, NO CONTACT. Every time you hear him, you go back 100 paces. Don’t do this to yourself. He’ll never change, he’ll never be faithful … you’re lucky you don’t have an incurable disease.
Do you know the chances you get being involved with them for cancer of the uterus? All the other diseases they cause in women? Did you ever look at medical techs with the photos of what these diseases look like? What they do to your body?
Please, NO contact. We say that, not to be mean to you … we say that, because we don’t want his games to beat you down. You are so close to escaping forever … so you can live a loving, beautiful life. NO CONTACT.
And when you think of him and you are down and blue, put some upbeat music on and dance and sing while you are doing the dishes, doing the laundry, cleaning your home.
Peace.
OX and IWonder I have a better idea, instead of a female roomate, maybe I will win the lottery and I can hire a hot yard man, a cute pool boy, a very good maid. Oh and a dogsitter to care for them while I travel the world going to Europe going everywhere, seeing everything. If I am going to dream mite as well dream big!!! And I would buy everyone on LF a ticket somewhere! Where do we all want to meet? The oklahoma lottery is at 200 million. I rarely give the lottery a thot – I try to be happy with all I have. A small 3 acre farmette out in the sticks – a mobile home that I built on too – a above ground pool. But it is my space – my sanctuary – my home. Yes Ox I am lonely and probably needy, and I don’t like to admit that. I have so many good people in my life – so many blessing’s. I need to check out some of the co-dependent site’s on the web, but in my mind, to do that mean’s I was at fault, I was the one to blame for (the) relationship not working. Intellectually I know with out a doubt he was a disordered empty shell of a little lost spitefull child. A man child. I know I jumped on the opportunity to rescue him, I volunteered to be his victim. Why him? There have been lot’s of other’s cross my path that needed rescued. Why Him? I knew his intention’s were shady. Why Him? I knew his word’s of comittment and love and loyalty were not sincere. All his attempt’s at affection were feigned. I felt his evil presence -even when I held him to comfort him – I knew deep down that this man does not love anything – and I knew I would miss him when he was gone. And I do. Never in my dream’s did I think someone would want to share my life, my dreams, my goal’s. He tried to tell me we were a couple – but I never felt it. I cant believe what I took from him. I am not a stupid, deperate, lonely ole troll. I still have alot of work to do on me before I put myself out there. Emotionally I have nothing to offer another man right now, all i would want to talk about is my spath baggage. And that ain’t gonna get me anywhere!!! I do have a “friend” that I have been seeing, not dating, but there are red flag’s jumping out everywhere with him, and I am paying attention to them. My instinct’s tell me too stop spending time with him. But maybe I look too hard for red flags. If you look hard enuff you can find ” something “bad in anyone. Well I have rambeld on long enuff. Iwonder I sure feel bad for you with your X and the property situation. I will send good vibes out to the universe in hope’s that all goes well for you…………….
Well well well Henry, you finally blogged on.
I’ve got an inspirational quote for you and everyone on LF.
Fortunate are those who have developed the two P’s
Patience and Perseverance ”“
For they get easy access to the third P ”“
the Power of GOD.
And Henry, you forgot the big “L” word when describing your EX. That’s OK buddy, can you (as well as the rest of us) can all LOVE. Think about what they are missing in their life … not only not loving anyone … all the rest of life.
I’d like to go to Alaska … and not because of Palin being in the news these days … I just always wanted to go there. And, yes, I love mooses too.
Saw 2 of them up towards the Canadian border years ago … and they are bigger than Bullwinkle. There heads are humongous. They can flip your vehicle with their antlers. Amazing, amazing creatures God made for us to Enjoy!
Peace.
Dear henry,
Hun, if red flags are jumping out, it is NOT cause you are looking for them, believe me, DON’T BRUSH THEM OFF.
Admitting that you are needy, or admitting that you are co-dependent does NOT MEAN that you are “taking the blame” or that you ARE TO BLAME. Look at who our moms were/are, but look at the enabling that they did and made us accept as the way things were supposed to be. But we are getting out of that RUT now, we are accepting that we DID ALLOW the abuse(s) but we are NOT GOING TO DO THAT ANY MORE. We are going to quit rescuing people, we are going to learn to set boundaries.
I am getting the skillet out though for one thing, you said it negatively but it sounded to me like you really were thinking it, about you being a “lonely old troll”—don’t you EVER talk about my friend Henry like that again or I will bash your noggin good with the BIG SKILLET!
Henry, there is nothing shameful about being lonely, or wanting someone to love, or wanting companionship. It means you are HUMAN.
Neither of us have too much to “offer” anyone right now cause we’re still healing, but we’ll get there, I promise you, Henry!
I saw red flags waving all over the place with my X-BF and I knew before too long after we started dating that he was not an honest and upright man, but I brushed aside the RED FLAGS cause I sure didn’t want to admit that I needed to kick him to the curb. I was afraid to kick him to the curb. I was afraid to be alone without a man in my life. I was so needy. I was so HUMAN. Henry, you are HUMAN. Quit beating yourself up for acting human.
Right now I think WE (you and me) need to focus on us, on recovering our joy, our faith in OURSELVES to make good decisions based on REASONABLE GOOD SENSE. Neither of us want some piece of “trash” (and you know what that word means in the south). My x-BF-P had a reasonable amount of money but he was “trash”–and your M was “trash” (no money isn’t what made him trash, it was his behavior) But lots of time “trashy behavior” leads to no job, no home, etc. and carrying around his stuff in a card board box.
Hang in there Henry (((hugs))))
OMG, Iwonder, don’t give him that statement until you receive the signed copy from him and his name is off the deed! I can just imagine him trying to defraud you again! He sounds like a real winner. Why, oh why can’t they legalize euthanasia for people? Some of these creeps really do need to be euthanized right away!
Wini Alaska! That a good place to visit, we better hurry and go there before Palin start’s drilling for oil!!! I have never seen a moose – a real moose – just BullWinkle!!