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Even with all that I now know, I got scammed

By Joyce Alexander, RNP (retired)

I like to think of myself as pretty wise, now that I have learned to recognize most of the red flags of dishonesty and people high in psychopathic traits. But I recently got scammed by three people working in concert. They also scammed another party as well.

I bought a dog that was actually stolen. Here’s how it happened:

I went to a web site in Georgia looking for dogs that are trained as protection dogs. They cost quite a bit of money, starting at about $5,000 and I knew this. This man offered me a “sport” trained dog for $4,000 plus freight which would put her in the $5,000 range, but he had a woman trainer here in Arkansas who could teach me to handle the dog (for more money of course). Since I had trained dogs most of my life in obedience and other high level training, I felt secure in handling a dog, but wanted help with this particular kind of training.

I spoke to the woman trainer here in Arkansas (about a two-hour drive from me), whom I’ll call “Sue,” and she and I talked and talked about dogs and training dogs. Over the telephone and in e-mails we exchanged, we just seemed to be almost instant “sisters” (the love bomb). Then the guy in Georgia quit returning my calls and I got frustrated with him. Meanwhile, the sweet woman trainer here in Arkansas said she had also had some problems with this guy, but she left her information up on his web site anyway, but guess what? She would rescue me and she had the perfect dog for me here in Arkansas! For only $1300! WOW what a bargain.

Meeting Sheba

Son D and I drove to Little Rock, about an hour from our house, to the home of a large man I will call “George.” I watched as George trained dogs and their owners in obedience in a large field next to his house. Then I watched as George, in a leather body suit and a “bite sleeve,” trained dogs in protection. He was amazing and the dogs were amazing. I met Sheba, the dog that Sue, the female trainer, said was perfect for me. I watched as Sheba flew through the air like a frisbee to latch onto the arm of the decoy in the bite suit. Even for a 70-pound dog, she was powerful.

Son D and I spent over an hour talking to George after the training was over and also felt this instant attraction (love bombing again) for this man.

We agreed that I would buy the dog and that I would leave her with George for two weeks of additional training every day. Then I would pick her up, and Sue and her son, “John,” would come to our home and work with Sheba for an entire day for about $250 per day. Sue wanted to come two days each week ”¦ for how long? I am not sure on that, I think as long as my money held out.

X-rays

Well, “Bob,” the guy who had sold Sheba to me, said he had “forgotten” to get her hips x-rayed while she was staying at George’s kennel. No big deal Sue assured me, that the dog had good hips. I was so in love with Sheba by that time, and with the fact that she was “really cheap” by protection dog standards, I paid for her before getting the hips x-rayed. Bob assured me he would reimburse me for the vet x-rays. I took the dog home from George’s house and put her in a crate inside the house to let her get used to the house and the sounds and smells. She was let out of the crate only on a leash for several days, and she would go from room to room with one of us holding loosely on the end of the leash, sniffing for my “stash” of drugs. She was working hard.

Well, I finally got an appointment with my vet to have her hips X rayed and was totally dumbfounded when they were bad. I broke down crying in the vet’s office. Her hips are so bad on both sides that there is no way in which she can be helped. She is not a candidate for adoption, as she is like a loaded gun—only an experienced handler can handle her.

Dogs that are used for “personal protection” or for “police work” are bred to be ADHD, to be fearless. Sheba, as a Dutch Shepherd, was like an ADHD teenager on crack! She wanted to work and she wanted to bite the decoy. She was everything I could have wanted in a protection dog—including obedience and desire to please—but she was not a “pet” dog.

When I raised Border Collies I would never sell a pup as a “pet,” because high-energy “ADHD” breeds of dogs must have a job to do or they become neurotic. They must be continually exercised whether it is herding sheep or doing an agility course or hunting for lost people or decaying bodies. They must have a job and they can’t do it with bilaterally hip dysplasia.

Set up

I was set up for a patsy by a group of con people working together. Oh, by the way, Sheba did not even belong to “Bob,” the man who sold her to me. The original owner had placed her with Bob for sale on commission. Sort of feeling “something” in my gut about the dog when I got her home, I saw the old rabies tag and called the vet clinic to ask about the dog. Of course they knew Sheba and her owner, and gave me his name and telephone number. He was very surprised that the dog had been sold a month before because Bob had not even telephoned him to let him know that she had been sold, much less sent the money to the man in Mississippi.

This man, “Bud” had been so pleased, though, that Sheba was in a good home, that he was not even going to sue Bob for not sending him his share of the sale price.

After the initial phone call where I informed Bob that Sheba’s hips were bad and he assured me that he would pay me for the purchase price of the dog and the training I had invested in her, I have not heard from him, not one word. I don’t expect to hear from him either.

The female trainer, Sue, has sent me the advice that I should “be tender with Bob as he really is a good guy because she has seen him cry when a dog got hurt.” Sue has written a book on the psychology of dogs, and in her book she showed pictures of hip dysplasia X-rays and a picture of a normal X ray, yet when I sent her a scanned copy of Sheba’s X-rays she said, “Oh, I can’t tell if that is dysplasia or not without seeing the original X-ray.I wonder what made her think that X-ray scan might be normal? What vet school she graduated from? What about the letter I have from my veterinary surgeon who says the dog has hip dysplasia on both sides and due to her temperament and training should be put down?

Then it started to dawn on me, the way the scam went down. Bob got a dog that he probably knew had bad hips or he wouldn’t have sold it for “peanuts,” since it already had certifications for drug detection, and had protection training and obedience training as well ”¦ so Sue love bombed me and found me the “perfect” dog ”¦ CHEAP! Then I went to George’s place and watched the dog work and I was HOOKED. So George, knowing or not that her hips were bad, got two weeks work as a trainer. Then when I brought her home, Sue and her son John got two days work as well.

I have no doubt that I will get a judgment in court for the price of the dog, for boarding her and for the price of her training as well. But I also know that the likelihood of me actually COLLECTING a dime are between zero and none.

Too good to be true

When a deal is “too good to be true” it usually is. Unfortunately, I am left the one crying my eyes out for a dog that I have already become attached to, who has done nothing wrong except be born with bad legs and be so driven to work that she is not “adoptable” as a pet, but yet is unable to work either. No there isn’t anything that can be done for her hips surgically or to prolong her life. If there were it would be done. Her former owner is quite wealthy and offered to fund anything that might help her. There isn’t anything that can be done for the dog.

So we need to be on our guard in any business deal we make, we need to use caution and watch for RED FLAGS. In hind sight, I can see that Sue “love bombed” me and played up to my ego and held out the “carrot” of a deal I couldn’t refuse—the perfect dog and CHEAP. When her buddy in Georgia disappointed me, she came to my rescue and found just the dog for me!

Well, I have again paid the tuition at the University of Hard Knox for some post-doctoral studies. In addition to my lightened pocketbook, I also have a broken heart for a dog I have come to love already. I don’t know where the following story came from, but it made me weep. Right now I’m not sure which feels the best—weeping or cussin’.

God summoned the beast from the field and He said:

“Behold man is created in My image, Therefore adore him. You shall protect him in the wilderness,

shepherd his flocks, and watch over his children, accompany him wherever he may go, even into civilization.

You shall be his companion, his ally, his slave.

To do these things, I endow you with the instincts uncommon to other beasts; faithfulness, devotion, and

understanding, surpassing those of man himself. Lest it impair your courage, you shall never foresee your death.

Lest it impair your loyalty, you shall be blind to the faults of man. Lest it impair your understanding you are denied the power of words. Speak to your master only with your mind and through your honest eyes.

Walk by his side, sleep in his doorway, ward off his enemies, carry his burden, share his affections, love, and comfort him. And in return for this, man will fulfill your needs and wants, which will be only food, shelter and affection.

So be silent and be a friend to man. Guide him through the perils along the way to this land I have promised him. This shall be your destiny and immortality.”

The dog listened and was content.


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48 Comments on "Even with all that I now know, I got scammed"

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Joyce, I am SO sorry that you were drawn into that scam. That you’re talking about a dog that you became attached to adds insult to injury – the bond was formed, and it’s a very painful situation, emotionally. The financial aspect is heinous and well-crafted. I hope that these people have been reported, somehow. I’m sure that you did – you’re not the type to roll over and wish it all away.

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing this experience. There’s nothing “good” about this except as a learning tool for me, yourself, and others that even years of recovery is no guarantee that we will remain impervious to frauds of all types.

This has not been any easy experience for you, and I send out my most sincere comforting blessings to you. It frigging sucks.

Brightest and most supportive blessings

Well,, after two weeks of crying and cussin’ alternately, my son D and I have decided to keep Sheba until she is in pain and then we will put her down. The original owner who had her chipped sent me the transfer, so I actually DO OWN her now.

In the meantime, I do have a romping stomping dog that would give her life to protect me, but she isn’t going to be able to do that for very long…a year maybe, maybe a little while longer, but I have come to look at it this way.

1. I DO have a protection dog NOW when I need one that is ACES and she is top of the top

2. I got to REPEAT a valuable lesson “if something is too good to be true it is”

I’m an old “horse trader” and you know, I SHOULD have known this was TOOOOOO good to be true.

I ended up with a little less than $3,000 for a dog with bad hips, but if she had had good hips she would have been working on some police department somewhere and would have sold for $10K or more because she is drug certified as well as protection.

I talked to her original trainer as well who is a police dog handler who trains dogs on the side for others.

I guess in the end, it could have been a lot worse, a lot more expensive and I know that Sheba will have a good home here with me and my son, and I am tired of being mad—mad at myself and mad at the scammers—and I’m not going to spend any more time being upset by it. She’s mine, bad hips and all, and we’ll give her a job to do and keep her comfortable until the day comes that we have to make the decision to put her down for her own comfort. She’s the second “happiest” dog I have ever owned and one of the most affectionate. (yes, a 70 pound lap dog)

Oxy:

I am glad you are looking at the good points of this…there are quite a few. It wasn’t all bad. I am glad.

Thanks Louise, that’s really the only option I had. There wasn’t going to be a refund from the scammers, first off because I don’t think they had it to refund it to me in the first place. I found out back when I owned rental property that getting a “judgment” in court doesn’t mean you will COLLECT a dime, so in situations like this it is just best to “quit’yer bichiting” and suck it up, even with a judgment which takes more time and more money and more energy, WHY BOTHER with something that is so futile. To prove a point? That isn’t going to prove much.

It took me a couple of weeks to come to the conclusion that I needed to LET IT GO. I alternately cried and cussed. To what purpose either one? I’ve finally made a rapid transit through the grief process where Sheba is concerned and reached ACCEPTANCE of her as she is, and of the lesson as it is. I am not sure which is the most valuable asset…the lesson, or having her here with me when my son is gone or when we are asleep. I know that she is FOR NOW at least what I need.

Oxy:

Exactly! After all, like you said…you DO have her for now and she may live quite awhile even with her problem. Or before the problem of the hips becomes too much. So enjoy her as long as you can…she IS protecting you and that’s what you needed and wanted. On another note though, I find it sad that you feel so unsafe that you felt the need to get a protection dog. Because of your son I am assuming? If so, my heart really goes out to you. HUGS to you.

Oxy,
I’m with Louise, there are quite a few good points and I’d bet there will be MANY, MANY, MANY more during the time you have Sheba. I think God has a plan for you and her and that she will be a blessing to you. It’s a gut feeling that I get, sometimes.

I think I had a couple of guys try to scam me the other day. They buy trees, maple trees. They are looking for a specific type of figured maple trees for making guitars. So I called them up last september and they recently had time to make the trip up to check my trees.

I’ve had other guys come up before and was told that I had 5 trees with potential. The tree is inspected by cutting it with an axe and peeling back some bark and some of the first layer.

So these guys said they pay 1000 per tree, standing. As soon as it hits the ground, they pay up to 3000 depending on what kind of figured wood they find in it. They are looking for massively large trees and I have those.

So they come up and told me that none were suitable for their standards. I asked them why the other dudes had said that they were. The answer, well some people don’t require the type of figure we are looking for, they will pay less for a lesser grade. We know a guy who does that. He pays about 250 per tree. And they gave me his name and number. They also mention that he sometimes sells to them. He’s a middleman.

Well they left and I thought about calling the middleman. Then it occurred to me. ohh…. how do I know that this isn’t a trick to get great trees for $250?

Then I thought, ok, were there any red flags?
did they love bomb me? No. They were very professional.
Pity? No, they seemed resigned that they typically travel hundreds of miles to search for the right trees (it was at least a 3 hour drive to my house from theirs) before they find even one.
Rage. Nope.

Next thing I checked was my emotions: $3000 x 5 = $15000
That’s pretty exciting. I was excited with the potential windfall. Then I was disappointed not to have even one tree that met their exacting standards.

There! the roller coaster ride. Up then down emotions.

That’s a standard con.

So I did not cut any trees. I didn’t call the middleman.

OxD,

I read your words and you are so good at telling the story I find myself going through the motions and emotions of your experience. I also caught myself making excuses (uhoh) for your con artists. I don’t WANT to believe people are playing on our heartstrings through our pocketbooks using animals BUT why NOT? Ugh! It really is scary to trust when you find that your senses have betrayed you. I would feel like even for $1300 (plus the hours of false teachings as dog training) would’t make the scam worth it but I get it.

I am sorry you went through that other lesson.

I am having trouble with when not to bother. I am bothering in every direction like the energizer bunny that is running out of juice more times than not. 🙂

I would want to believe my eyes as you did yours. I would want to believe my ears and all my senses which were played as you had so many indicators this wasn’t a scam. I really believe from recovering from past trauma, that the healthier I have gotten, it has been when I have been deceived yet again. It’s almost like the guard goes down a bit for me as I get more comfortable believing I can see the red flags……

Life is full of lessons. This is the good part of aging as you watch the young go through the hard lessons you have already learned like what a judgement means. My psychos grandmother was a wise old woman and she was quiet and would watch. She and I were bonded from “hello” and I am not kidding. I fell asleep after her meeting her and had a dream where she came to me and said “don’t fall for the crocodile tears”. I didn’t know what those were as I thought they were BIG tears or something. Later I asked his aunt who lived with grandma if she g-ma ever used those words. She looked at me and said, “only when referring to (psycho)” and I asked what it meant. She said FAKE tears. She totally believed her mother gave me the sign I believed I got. It was strange but WISE. After she died, me and my daughter were more in danger………

I read your posts above since I wrote most of this and I am glad you are seeing the silver lining. I hope you get to have her around much longer and I believe even knowing she may be for a short while, it’s not going to make it any less loving for you and her and son D.

Skylar,

Good check. I need to have that list in my wallet with your examples or tattooed on my forehead……..but that would let the conman know I was dense. 🙂 Better forget the tattoo out in the open……lol

How sad that they conned you as they did. I am glad that you decided to keep the dog as long as it isn’t in any pain. I’m sure that’s a far better life that it would have had if it had remained with these people.

Did you report them? I would. You have no idea what other information the police have on file about these people. Your case may be enough to nail the SOBs.

When I decided to get a dog for my son, my soft heart decided to go the rescue dog route because it was doing good for an aniaml and it would be easier on my pocketbook (I thought.)

We went to a town about an hour away. We live in New England. This rescue group was Dixie Rescue, supposedly dogs rescued from the heartless South where they don’t know how to take care of animals and shipped to Massachusetts to tender, loving owners who will ensure that they get the best of care. (That alone should have been a tip-off.)

The place was an old farmhouse with a pen outside. One of the dogs was so ill that it couldn’t move in the sun. It just laid there in its own waste and was half dead. When I saw that, I took a good hard look at the pen. It had feces and urine all over the floor. I was on high alert.

They had two card tables set up, one with a cash box on it and the other with manila folders, forms, and pens.

My son really wanted a beagle. They went inside and came out with a dog. (Nobody was allowed in the house. They said they had “a few others inside” and would go look to see if they could find what you might like.)

I wanted to know if the dog had been fixed. The woman flipped the dog over to show me its belly. There was surgical stitching and the skin flapped (probably 12″ long) over itself in an unnatural way. (Think one shirt front flapped over the other side at its mid-point.)

I asked if she knew the medical history of the dog. She told me that I was looking at it.

Just then, a smiling family was walking away with their new pet. I heard her co-worker call, “We’ll call your vet on Monday to check your references.” (This was Saturday.) Really? These people are releasing animals to unknowns? They weren’t going to call. They were simply unloading dogs and collecting money.

The form that they had people fill out was used for God only knows. I never looked at the form. For all I know, they might have been asking for financial information. Mind you, this place was teeming with people coming and going with kids running happily over all over the place. It had a festival atmosphere. Yeah! We’re getting a puppy.

I asked if there was a fee. Oh, yes. $250 per dog to cover expenses. The woman casually offered that if I didn’t see anything that I liked today, we could come back in two weeks because they would have a new selection.

I grabbed my son and got out of there. I went home and looked up the town’s animal officer and made a report. Long story short, they went out to this house, found it to be filthy, and discovered that these people had 150 dogs inside the house. About a third of them had to be put down.

Furthermore, they discovered that this was a scam involving many people. These dogs rotated from location to location, meaning from state to state. (The woman who was offering the dogs called it a circuit.) There was quite a money making scheme going on.

Since I reported this to the town, they reported it to the state. Massachusetts stepped in. They passed some kind of emergency legislation to stop this kind of activity. These were sick and diseased animals endangering the health of the animals in Massachusetts because of what they carried into the state.

I found out about all this because the town came back to me to tell me what happened after I made my report. They thanked me.

Never in a million years would I have imagined that what I reported would go to this level. I reported these people because I saw sick and dying animals in the yard.

So, Oxy, even though you might feel embarrassed because of being taken, and the female trainer seems so nice, report these a-h*les. If nothing else, let the police start a file on them (if there aren’t any already.) Maybe you won’t get your money back, but don’t enable their scamming by saying nothing.

I am professionally trained to identify when 1+1 does not add up to two. It’s amazing how many people miss the obvious when it is right under their noses.

My field has a number of expressions for that, starting with “You get what you pay for” and “You get what you accept.”

Years ago I decided that I wanted to buy gold jewelry for myself. I knew absolutely nothing about gold or how gold jewelry was made. There were too many terms and acronyms. I couldn’t make any sense out of them, and I wasn’t about to trust some salesperson to explain them to me. I decided to take a correspondence course from the Gemological Institute of America (GIA) to learn what the experts had to say.

They had a whole section on how certain scammers play on people’s ignorance and greed. One thing that they pointed out what that people always want to get gold and precious gems cheap. Who doesn’t? The stuff is expensive.

Legitimate dealers will not discount real gold and precious gems BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO NEED TO DO THAT. When mall chain stores that sell jewelry sell their products on sale, it is highly likely that is the actual value of the jewelry. They are still making a profit. Any price other than the sales price is inflated.

If the product is legitimate, jewelers can get a legitimate price for it. They know their industry. They know what prices items can get. They all know this. To sell it cheap or on a discount would mean they would lose money. Why, the course asked, would anybody in business want to do that?

I like a good deal as much as the next person, but I also know that when something seems to be too good to be true, it’s fake.

P.S. We ended up getting our Siberian husky from the SPCA. They did check our references beforehand. I paid $75 for the dog and got a refund of $40 after I turned in a vet’s certification that the dog had been neutured. He was a marvelous pet. Best money I ever spent.

skylar:

Thanks so much for sharing your tree story.

Thanks also for checking off your list of red flags and making me realize I forget maybe the most important one…my own emotions. I tend to forget about that ONE and that was the one that put you in check. Good stuff. Thanks so much.

G1S: You said “report these a-h*les. If nothing else, let the police start a file on them (if there aren’t any already.) Maybe you won’t get your money back, but don’t enable their scamming by saying nothing.”

I said above: “It took me a couple of weeks to come to the conclusion that I needed to LET IT GO. I alternately cried and cussed. To what purpose either one? I’ve finally made a rapid transit through the grief process where Sheba is concerned and reached ACCEPTANCE of her as she is, and of the lesson as it is.”

G1S
I got scammed by a puppy mill. Thought I was in contact with a kennel but and sent a deposit. I found out the facts and though I lost my deposit, that was all.

But I was sad, I didn’t have my companion dog. So I went to the rescue groups. And boy, there are a LOT of rescue groups working a scam in this area. They seem to get a toe hold, and within a couple of years, they dominate until they get busted.

Finally I went to the county animal shelter. And adopted a dog that their vet said did not have dysplasia. Yet, I knew she did, just by how she sat. And turned out she was heartworm positive. But she was my baby by then so as I see it, I am old and broken down and I will give her, a brokendown herding dog, the best life possible. We are each others companion.

I am sorry Oxy got taken, it’s amazing what these grifters tell themselves. I had one person say if someone gets ripped off, they can just sell the dog to someone else. The logic blows me away.

Oxy, we don’t know how long your Sheba will live but this I know. God gave her the best home possible. Look at what she could have ended with, She is SO blessed to have you instead.

Louise, thanks, and yes, the reason I need a protection dog is because of my son Patrick. His parole hearing is coming up before long, who knows, he may get out, but I also live in an isolated spot and there is a lot of what we call “oil field trash” –migrant oil rig workers, many illegal aliens and ex-convicts —that are here in this area, and part of the year I am here alone. A well trained dog (versus a “junk yard” mean dog) I think is an asset to my safety.

She is a SUPER dog as far as training is concerned and also a very sweet dog as well.

Bless her heart, though, she keeps searching my house for drugs! LOL And the vehicles of anyone who comes into the yard if she is out. She never paws through anything or pushes it out of place, just gently sniffs everything.

She’s still a pup though so we are still working on “thou shalt not chase cats in the yard.” LOL

G1S,

I agree about at least making a report. I have spent a lot of energy shouting in the wind but I also received a “thank you” from the Asst. State Attorney for exposing a fraudulent psychologist who had so many violations of his license at the regulatory board just from MY complaint, I really thought he was going to be arrested at the first hearing as I didn’t know how it worked and there was guard at the door. (I thought he was there for HIM! lol) When I listened to all he had done during their investigation, I was stunned. He had made three sets of notes, lied about being an ordained pastor and fraudulent letter was written on a home church letterhead and signed with all psychological credentials (some real and some not) and his senior pastor self title while demanding to be referred to as “Dr.” in the hearing. LOL But it was surreal that he was such a CONMAN I met him at a Trinity Church AofG and I thought he was a bit “over the top” but I was religiously naive. He got sued by them even and I am the one who told the regulatory board.

I am still on the fence about when to use energy in these situations and when to lick your wounds and take care of yourself. I am still feeling like report to someone at the very least with OxD. It may go nowhere but it also may be the final nail in the coffin! Most people looking for security type dogs like this are IN NEED OF PROTECTION and most likely vulnerable I am thinking.

I still believe I could sue and probably should for my childs sake, this former psychologist as he really flipped our case in the wrong direction and hurt her life and mine. He stated he was an expert willing to testify on the fathers behalf the father was safe and he names psychologically physically and emotionally for the child to be around!!! JERK! Well Father has a new order of protection against him now doesn’t he from a HARLEY DAVIDSON SHOP OWNER who doesn’t believe he’s safe and neither did the JUDGE who heard the case. None of those idiots are safe.

Ugh.

OxD,

I respect your decision as like I said, I am struggling with when to say when. 🙂

Like with the stupid lawsuit over the guilty former psychologist. I have 2 years from last April to make the decision so I am licking wounds right now. As you know a Judgement doesn’t mean crapola. Been told that by a few who know and are wiser than myself. That’s why I am not putting energy there at this time. Now he better hope I don’t happen to become suddenly healed and with extra time on my hands and MONEY…..Better look out in the face of that miracle…lol

Eralyn and Louise,
Like Oxy, I should know better than to let emotions get involved in any business transaction. At first I didn’t, then I thought about the money and I got a bit excited. Though I wasn’t counting on anything, I did allow myself to fantasize the big pay off.

Spaths all work on our emotions to get what they want.

STEP ONE. Check emotions at the door!

Report it to whom?

It is a CIVIL matter and the police are NOT going to get involved in a small claims court matter.

If I were to call the cops to report it they would tell me to get a small claims court form and sue him. Which is the ONLY option open.

Sure he did not send the % of the purchase price per the verbal agreement with the original owner of the dog. So sue him! The cops are not going to get involved or arrest him.

CIVIL matters are just that. SOMETIMES “civil” becomes FRAUD but it is NOT over a few thousand bucks over a defective dog.

Sure I could stay mad, I could take him to court, the judge would tell him to give me my money back and he would walk out of court and THEN I WOULD HAVE TO TRY TO COLLECT THE JUDGMENT. I would have to find out where he works, then go back to court to get a garnishment of so much per week…and each trip would be 60 miles each way and take a whole day to complete and each time I would be WASTING ENERGY I CAN BETTER SPEND ON POSITIVE THINGS.

The LETTING IT GO, the ACCEPTANCE –is the LESSON.

Accepting that I got scammed, but quit beating myself up over it, (which I did a lot of) and accept that there really are not a lot of options that would be PRODUCTIVE of anything but rage and I don’t want to be stuck feeling those negative feelings.

It was NOT a total loss….I do have a dog that for SOME PERIOD OF TIME will function as a protection dog, well trained and not going to eat the Fed X man, but would fling herself on a bad guy with her alligator teeth and sink them into his body and hang on no matter what he did to her. Would not let go until either she was dead or I told her to let go. That’s a pretty awesome dog in fact, so as long as she is not in any pain, she’s got a home with me and if I did get a judgment, chances are the judge probably make me give her up or put her down immediately. Fortunately, the real owner transferred ownership to me.

But the chances are 99.9% that the bad guy doesn’t even HAVE the money to refund to me, I think that is why he didn’t send the original owner his cut and also why he sold her so cheap, he was desperate for money and needed it NOW.

So guys the lesson for me is about letting go of that anger, at them and at myself. It isn’t about them getting away with it, they already HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH IT, for all practical purposes.

I just need to learn the lesson for myself and continue to be vigilant in the future in ANY interaction I have with others. Especially people I don’t really know.

OxD,

The serenity prayer. “The Wisdom to Know the Difference”.

🙂

Knowledge you get in books.
Wisdom is what you learn from your mistakes. There is no other way.

I have LOTS of wisdom! 😳

Oxy:

Sigh. So sorry you have to worry about the potential of those unsavory characters who live around you maybe harming you. Your son is a different story…I do not blame you one bit for protecting yourself from him. I know you can never trust him.

Awwww, so sweet that the dog is sniffing everything! I got this cute mental picture of her just sniffing everyone and everything! Haha!! 🙂

OxDrover:

I just read your story and I feel for you. As you may recall I recently got taken in by a colleague I had come to consider a friend. In the aftermath of getting taken in, I keep beating myself up thinking “all the damned flags were waving in your face and you still let yourself get sucked in.” That and grappling with the feeling that it’s bad enough to feel like a fool, but it’s worse to feel like an old fool (the guy who screwed me over is 33). And of course we all know the last stanza of that tune “when the hell am I ever going to learn?”

Of course, I could probably get by my feelings a bit easier except for the fact that in a few weeks I have to serve on a panel for a week and a half with this cretin. The thought makes my stomach tie up in knots. Of course there’s no way I have to get out of this, so I guess I’ll function in disaster and finish in style – the nice handshake, the so good to see yous etc. Personally, it all makes my skin crawl.

Oxy,

What a scam… Everything can be turned into a scam by spaths, isn’t it?

I do know the puppy is in the best loving hands with you though and at least she has the training, so she does protect you. I’ll wish the best for you and her.

I see G1S argument for reporting, but in this particular case I also see yours. Yes, Sue was used for a scam, but she wasn’t abused or kept in a way that was against animal wellfare laws (in so far you know it). If you could report animal abuse it wouldn’t be just a civil matter. But it doesn’t seem from your story that’s the case. So, I can see how it would be pretty useless.

Give that puppy a hug from me!

Oxy,

I am so sorry that this has happened to you. You do however always seem to look on the brighter side of situations. I admire this beautiful quality few hold.

As many businesses are, the dog business can be so filled with crooks and con-artists. They are mixed in with the legitimate dog breeders, trainers etc and you really can get confused and not able to see as clearly as you normally would. Integrity seems to be so low on the totem pole, if even on the totem pole at all!

I am concerned about your predicament at home. I hope Sheba will have a divine intervention of healing on her hips!

The “P” that was in my life is in this guard dog training/breeding/selling business…( he does illegal dog fighting and steriods too)…he also has worked with the police K9 unit as a cover to his scheming. (so he says) … He is from Georgia, where I am from but lives in Texas. He works with dog people all over the world and of course across our country. He has a Youtube channel of him working dogs and he loves getting in with the well known/important people in the dog world. I am saying this information so that if you need further information on avoiding a true psychopathic con-artist, I would be happy to reveal that to you privately..(Just in case you were thinking of another dog)..I know he works/sells etc all types of dogs from presas, pits, rots, shepherds etc etc..(dutch shepherds too) .. He always would try to scare me with the attack dogs…and it did scare me…

You are in my thoughts and I thank you for sharing this story.

Oxy

((HUGS)) to you. Like Skylar said, I feel confident that you’ll win from this “lesson” in the end. Something really good will come out of it.

A protection dog was a brilliant idea.

Sky,

Wow, interesting near con, on the trees. Some men came and bought up a bunch of the timber on my mom’s property. She made a small fortune, but not $1000 per tree. Maybe you can call others to come bid on what you have.

Athena

Ox I am sorry things didnt work out for you as you had wished. Sound,s to me like you still won with a new best friend named Sheba.. I have to disagree with you on one point however, your killer dog can be your pet.. My two wiener dog’s would chew your toes off if you tried to harm me and they are my PETS..

Oxy, you need to do what is best for you. I understand and respect your argument. If that is what works for you, then I would assume you are settled with what happened.

As I said earlier, I am trained in seeing these things and acting on them, whether that is a report or something else. It would never sit well with me to just accept something of this magnitude and let it go. I don’t have to pour my life and soul into something, but closure FOR ME would be making a report to someone. Then, I would let it go and let God take things from there. But that’s me.

I know that with me, the many times that I have remained silent on things was due to my not being very far along in my recovery as an adult child. There was a lot of shame involved. There was the belief that this happened only to me and somehow, I deserved it.

We are taught in recovery to break “the no-talk rule.” Silence enables. Silence feeds shame. Breaking the silence and talking empowers the victims and disempowers the perps.

It was only after that I started breaking the no-talk rule that I started finding out that the people who had walked all over me had done it to others. My speaking up helped the other victims to realize that they weren’t alone. Healing occurred on several levels and for multiple people. For me, that was exciting.

I also learned that the perps already had bad reputations. Of course, nice girls wouldn’t have know that because this nice girl still believed that everybody was born good and smiles on their faces meant they had smiles in their hearts and pure motives. Am I a gossip? No. Do I vet people? I try to, at least in some way.

I wasn’t good at first at breaking the no talk rule. Shame is such a strong master.

I needed to learn how to break the silence. It didn’t come easy at first and there was a stage when the anger and hurt that were so pent up that when they finally did come out, they came out in a blast. Not good. Not my finest moments, but it was progress albeit not perfection.

Case in point. I wrote what I thought was a sweet, little slice-of-life thing on my FB this morning about my son and his friends being home and how my cat reacted. Nothing profound. Just a cute little story.

My 1st cousin posted a really obnoxious, vulger/crude story about his pets as a response. I was shocked that he did that and angry. Why did he do that? What is wrong with him? Absolutely, it was a put down and he was mocking me big time.

I sat with it a while. Lots of possibilities went through my mind. I didn’t give in to my knee-jerk reactions.

Now, prior to recovery, I would have been so shamed (because that was what he was doing, shaming me) that I would have taken down my post. Instead, I decided to let his comments stay up a while because it didn’t reflect badly on me. It made him look like a total a-h*le. And, if any of my friends had any doubts about the sh!t my family is capable of dumping on each other, this was a good example of what they can do.

I finally decided to delete his post with no explanation from me. If he wants to know why, he can write to me and ask. I doubt he will. He’s bright enough to figure out why I did what I did.

I deleted his post because I decided that I have the right to write whatever I want on my FB. If he doesn’t like what I write, then either he doesn’t need to comment (he can move on to something else) or he can stop being FB friends with me if reading my posts are getting to him that much. It’s his issue, not mine.

I deleted his post because I have the right to decide what I want people to read on my FB. His post was unacceptable. It’s history.

I also deleted the post because somebody from another group I belong to sent me something the other day in encouragement. She said, “Don’t hide. Show pride.” It’s a cute little story about my cat. Deal with it, but don’t rub crap in my face because you don’t like it.

I don’t care anymore. If people don’t like what I have to say, then they don’t. Life goes on. I digress.

As far as reporting an indicent to somebody goes, it doesn’t need to be something so formal as a police report.

I have no idea what is available in your area or with guard dogs in general, but a person could always write a letter to the SPCA, the Better Business Bureau, or some group that would know these people that might help expose them.

Then, I’d let go and let God.

As I said, I certainly can see your point of view. I’m simply in a different place and am a different person.

G1S,

WHO would you report this to? The police are not interested, it is a CIVIL, not a criminal matter.

I did report it to the original owner since in effect she was a stolen dog.

I did report it to the original trainer.

I did report it to LF.

So who else pray tell should I report this scam to?

Matt, thank you darling! Yes, there is no fool like an old fool! LOL

For a couple of weeks I was alternately crying and cussin’ and mostly cussin’ at MYSELF for being sucked in. Actually the second day that “Sue” and her son were here working with son D and Sheba and me (I was mainly watching since I am still in a leg cast) as I sat there talking to “sue” I sort of had this thought about LOVE BOMB from her, and I brushed it aside.

Looking at the situation LOGICALLY THOUGH, I got what I think I needed in the way of a dog, and I needed it NOW and I got that FOR NOW. I have done an exhaustive search for other dogs and there are just not ones available within 100s of miles of me, and at prices that are “reasonable” for what I want and need. I do not want a “sport” dog, as in “battle” those dogs “Ike and run” and that is the last place you want a dog to “Ike and run”

While she is a “pet” for me and son D, she is NOT a dog that would be a reasonable “pet” for someone who is NOT AN EXPERIENCED DOG HANDLER. She is essentially a “loaded gun” and in the wrong (inexperienced) hands could be a DANGEROUS animal. The reason she was for sale in the first place is the man who originally owned her and had paid over $5,000 for her to be professionally trained could not handle her even with a prong collar and “handler lessons.” These dogs are like German Shepherds on CRACK!

Alivetoday, thank you, I will at some point in time need a replacement dog for Sheba, so if you would go to my e mail addy that is located on the “love fraud authors” link and let me know his name I would appreciate it. I realize that in the dog business and the horse business and lots of other businesses there is fraud and cons. I just let my impatience to get a dog and my emotions get in the way of sound business judgment, BUT that said, I do have a dog NOW and NOW is when I think I need one with Patrick’s parole coming up. Plus, with our rural area being invaded by thousands of migrant people drilling in the Fayetteville Shale Natural gas grounds all around me, crime has gone up in general and we’ve had quite a bit of theft around here as well.

At least with the dog now I can lay my head down to sleep at night and not worry about someone sneaking into the house.

Ox-I’m so sorry about Sheba. She sounds really amazing. Enjoy the time you have with her and I’m sorry you got scammed. My German Shepherd is laying on my feet on the couch right now.

Hi Liz,
it’s nice to hear from you.
how’s Remy?
I forget your dog’s name.

Hi Skylar-Remy is awesome and so is Raijin the dog. They are best buddies. They are hilarious together.

Oxy….you’ve done the right thing!
Holly’s ‘broken’ also……but, with a little injection every so often…..she’ll be as good as she needs to be in order to bite your face off if she doesn’t like ya!
In the meantime…..she’s my cuddle bunny, love bug and most loyal companion ever….for however long I’ve got with her!

And Matt!!!!! Um…..you’ll handle this all with grace and poise…..I have NO DOUBT!!!!

XXOO
EB

Yea, EB, back when I was in nursing school and we were going through OB/GYN and learning to help parents who were expecting this wonderful perfect baby and got one that was NOT PERFECT.

Or the years I worked in head and spinal cord injury, and had to help parents/spouses deal with a severely injured loved one who was SUDDENLY no longer whole or perfect.

While finding out your dog is not 100% healthy is not the “same” as finding out your CHILD is not healthy, the sudden disappointment, the sudden shock and then realizing you have allowed yourself to be scammed does upset a person. Fortunately, I realize that this is NOT the end of the world and it is not a CHILD. While I am certainly attached to this dog already, the POINT of this dog is that she is a TOOL. Her purpose in my life is to protect me…at the cost of her own life if necessary.

I loved my collies, and they loved me, but they also had a PURPOSE and that was to put my livestock where I wanted it. Dogs have been TOOLS for mankind since we first took them into our caves….to protect us, to hunt for us, to herd for us, and yes, as food for us. I did not buy this dog as a “pet” or companion, I sought her out and bought her as a protection TOOL, just like I sought out and bought the gun that fit my needs best, and the security system. She will ALSO be a companion and friend, but this is a dog with a mission and a job, not a couch decoration.

Oxy, I’m not ignoring you. I’ve been very busy this weekend and haven’t been on here much.

Who would I report it to? Me, right? Not you, right?

I said – I would report it to the SPCA, the Business Bureau, or some kind of animal rights activist group.

It’s probably a civil matter, but I have no way of knowing for sure. How is this not a crime? It’s a scam and a con.

What would I do? I would probably speak with the police. Who knows what they have for information on these people or what they might suggest?

But as I said, if you’re happy and settled with what you did, and I do think you’ve done a lot, then really, that’s the end of it.

I simply shared how I would have handled it and why.

Hi Oxy,

I know that you have a medical background and reading your posts, obviously a lot more experience with dogs than I have, but I thought I’d post an suggest a vitamin C for Sheba.

I have a pom/chi cross. When he was about 6-7 months old I had him x-rayed and checked over by a vet as he was unable to use one hind leg. The vet diagnosed hip dysplacia. I was despairing, he was so young. I did some research and started giving him 500 mg of ester vitamin c a day. Within 2 weeks he was using his hind leg.

I believe a lot of his ‘injury’ had to do with his caregiver (who cared for him while i was away for a month for work training)…she fed him excessively and he gained a pound in a month (he was only 5 lbs, so that much gain was not good).

With the vitamin C and restricted food and gentle excercise, he is using his hindquarters and seems fine. He doesn’t like his hind end handled, but I dont’ know if it is because it pains him or because the vet hurt him (his initial examination was without anesthesia).

Anyways, he chases his cat, can jump on the bed etc…and doesn’t restrict himself in anyway.

If he starts to look uncomfortable, I’ll have him checked again…but he’s just two now and doing fine.

So, I thought…worth sharing..it might help Sheba be there for you longer.

Shelley

Shelly, thanks for the suggestions, the problems are in the SIZE of the animal. A dog the size of yours is not putting as much pressure on their bones as one the size of Sheba, as well as the level of activity. “gentle exercise?” LOL Sheba is like a WEREWOLF ON CRACK! Nothing she does is “gentle” –it is all rowdy! That’s why her breed is used in police and protection work. Plus, she is still just a pup at a year old and wants a lot of activity. I’ll talk to my vet and see what he thinks about the vitamin C though.

I go scammed on a free dog onev and her name was Sheba too. She was advertised as collie shepard mix and a drop out from search and rescue training. Of course our daughter fell in love instantly and she was a swwet good dog. But she was so abused and frightened she would run and hide under the bed if anyone came to the door. But I have always believed in amimals…and people too until the psychopath. I believe all of my animals were sent to me by God. Some have been my soul mates and one litterally shat on me. All I could do is laugh at the absurdity of it and think she had a really important comment to make. 🙂 But I have loved them all. Only people can be beasts.

Dear Oxy,

Unbelievable…..I’d be cussin’ a whole lot….Maybe you were put there to save Sheba and give her love in her pitiful condition… It might help to think of it that way…..Can you get some publicity on this….like a TV network to pick up the scam….many to call, I would expose them on air…

And all my friends wonder why I am such a skeptic and ask personal and intrusive questions…like a street detective….I offend some but I don’t care anymore….this shows we have got to be as sharp as daggers when investigating everything and everyone….I always get on the Internet and dig into people’s stats….sorry but we will be one step ahead I hope….we all hope so…at least Sheba didn’t meet more cruelty then she might have suffered…you saved her….hugs ((((((((())))))))

You know Oxy? I think you may not have gotten the dog you wanted, but you go the dog you needed. God’s funny like that…

Alwayshope, you got that RIGHT, He does have a sense of humor too. LOL I got the dog AND A LESSON, how wonderful is that?

Thanks for pointing that out to me.

In fact, Sheba is asleep and I’m on my way shortly as I type this, but I will sleep better knowing she is “on guard.” In a way she is like having a “teenaged ninja werewolf on crack” she is so hyper but she is also extremely loving and sweet—-as well as “my what big teeth you have grandma!”

OxD,

I’d probably sleep much better with a Sheba. I am really glad you have her. You can hear your appreciation of her and I can only imagine her appreciation of you.

I just had a memory of my brother in law playing with his huge male chocolate lab. He was on the patio and he leaned forward quickly just as that spaz (still young) flung his head up and cracked my BIL square in the center of his forehead. He stood up and a goose egg was on the center of his forehead. It looked like it nearly knocked him out. Be careful!! LOL

Is she still sniffing everywhere? You’ll probably have some comical stories about that over time.

I know this is off topice or not since we are here about psychos and sociopaths, but has anybody ever heard about Ted Bundy at the age of 3 laying all the kitchen knives with blades pointing at his mother while she was sleeping? YIKES! (I am watching the bio channel and it’s on Ted)

Eralyn,
which mother? he had two.
His real mother, whom he thought was his sister and his grandmother, whom he thought was his mom.

He thought his grand dad was his real dad and that guy was spath. I’ve heard it speculated that his grand dad WAS his dad.

so sick.

Skylar,

His real mother. I guess right around then was when she left with him to raise him away from her mother(his 1st known mom but really g-ma).

I heard the same thing about his grand dad.

They just said “when a person is evil at their core, they tend to want to destroy those which have good in them”….

Sounds about right to me!!!

I really believe they need a “conflict resolution” class for kids in school. I have thought this watching my daughter go to school and they are given no tools to resolve conflict whatsoever. Why hasn’t anyone thought of this??

We will spend millions and billions on a stop bullying campaign but we spend nothing teaching them how to deal with each other. We sure can’t count on them learning it at home.

EWW It’s not about lust, love, sex. It’s about posession, Bundy said.

Eralyn, “conflict resolution” is a great concept if a child has nurturing adults surrounding them that practice the same code of ethics. What I have noticed in the past 20 years is that here is a handy excuse and label for every bad choice and behavior. Parents, in particular, want (need?) a “reason” why their child is acting out or painfully introverted, so they seek a diagnosis from a child psychiatrist.

“Well, Edwin may have beat the shit out of your son in the school lavatory, but he’s ADHD and was doing something impulsive….” Today, parent’s leave the parenting up to everyone (and, everyTHING) else. Technology has taken the place of parenting and imagination, and everything is just fine as long as Edwin sits in front of his XBox and plays his graphically violent video games. But, the moment Edwin seeks interaction with his family, he’s interrupting daddy’s porn time or mom’s reality show and needs to take some more Ritalin.

It’s not money that needs to be spent teaching children. It’s time and parental committment. A child is not a toy. And, people are producing offspring that they are not even remotely involved with, anymore.

Just my observations….LOL!

Brightest blessings

Eralyn:

I saw the same show about Bundy and the knives.

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