By ErinBrock
One thing we see over and over from the fallout of a sociopathic relationship is destroyed self-esteem and a lack of confidence. Lacking self-esteem and confidence leads to overlooking behaviors and having a hard time making firm decisions for ourselves.
Destroyed self-esteem makes it difficult some days to even get out of bed, let alone get out of the house and participate in life. It’s hard to plan for meals, school lunches, kid activities, legal angles, financial support and moving forward. We want to hide under the covers and make it all go away.
Okay yes, and justifiably so. BUT ”¦ if we want to get “somewhere,” we must first find our adamant.
Adamant describes a beautiful diamond—very hard, crystalline carbon, impenetrable, impregnable, unshakeable and unyielding. It is a valuable gem.
We must learn to find the gem we all possess ”¦”¦ our valuable adamant.
We must commit to being adamant and NOT allowing destruction. We must be adamant about taking back our souls from a sociopath, protecting our children, our assets and our futures. Right is right and wrong is wrong. We must be adamant about this!
We all possess adamant; we were gifted this beautiful gem at birth. We put it away for the sociopath. Dig it out and reconnect; keep it close and feel it!
Once we find our adamant, we can move forward with a dedicated, “hell hath no fury” attitude. We discover things inside of ourselves we never thought we were capable of. We learn how much power we have over our lives and how much we can change things we don’t like or agree with.
WHY? Because we are adamant!
Adamant is an important and powerful feeling. It’s the empowerment we need to proceed into a custody battle, a divorce with a sociopath, or a family member’s betrayal.
There is no other word that has the same feeling or empowerment attached as adamant.
I asked my kids about what they knew about the word adamant. They responded, “when Moms adamant, don’t try to change her mind, it will never work.”
This led into a great, humor-filled chat. Jr. asked to borrow my car for a long distance drive. He stated his reasons. I said, “I’m sorry, but no.”
He persisted. I looked at him and said, “Jr. ”¦ I’m adamant ”¦ NO!”
He said, “Mom, I’m adamant. I need your car.”
I then explained to Jr. adamant is NOT the same as pushy, persistent, manipulative or convincing. Adamant means there are NO negotiations involved. The buck stops with adamant. Done. Period!
Jr. smiled and went on his way; he understood there was nowhere left to go, mom was adamant.
Once we find our adamant and team it up with tenacity, strength and courage ”¦”¦ we become a strong force. We can pull on our adamant and make strong dedicated decisions, and move forward with confidence.
Adamant is personal, spiritual, professional and human. Adamant encompasses our whole being, once we find it.
Once we find our adamant, we are no longer the victim and we become the survivor, the gems we always were ”¦ finally unearthed and empowered, impenetrable and unshakeable!
Wonderful post Erin B!.
And well yes, I found my adamant, and it said, I will not be screwed over yet again, and tossed aside like an old shoe- by my long time abuser. I battled it out for 2 1/2 years legally, against all odds, much of it self rep, doing my own forensic accounting and so on and won a judgement finally. Now to collect.
Well let me just share with y’all that I have found evidence that leads me right to the honey pot. Through a really really dumb error on his part. Because he thinks he is just that much smarter than the rest of us.
I have been adamant that I deserve justice, and it looks like I will get me some after all.
Everyday brings more confidence and a sense of freedom and well being, sowmthing that I had not had in a very long time.
I hope others who are in the early stages of recovery can take heart – and realize that sometimes the good guys do win, and often the bad guys trip over their own petard.
Thanks for sharing Erin.
Peace to all
Dear ERIN!!!!! TOWANDA!!!!!
Thanks you for writing this article. I am ADAMANT about how much I love it! GREAT JOB!!!!!
Anitasee,
Good job! Sometimes they do hoist themselves with their own petard! And isn’t it LOVELY WHEN THEY DO!!!!
EB, inspiring article!
Just reading it makes me feel more powerful!!!!
😀
EB,
Empowering!!!
It feels so good to find some strength and carry it around for a bit! With every passing day, even when it feels like there is no hope, like you are trapped in your own private hell, strength returns a little at a time.
Finding my adamant is happening more and more each day, in LARGE part, due to LF and posts such as this one!!!
Thanks for posting this!
EB I really needed to read this today. I have been having a shyte couple of days with the inner self worth demons!
I gave up smoking and have successfully put on 6 kg, this is not something, someone battling low self esteem needs to do! I have gone nearly 3 years since leaving the spath without medication and to be honest the only reason other than I thought it was environmental rather than chemical is I heard that anti depressant make you put on weight.
Well these moments of pure despear are screaming at me! I feel alone, useless and frightened. I try to hold it together raising my 3 beautiful young children on my own but the days are getting longer and lonelier.
I am going to take adamant with me today instead of self doubt and see where it takes me because quite frankly self doubt is becoming a really pain in the butt and not very productive at all!
Thanks EB 🙂
EB,
Sooo cool! Think I’ll try to change my handle to Adamant 🙂
Thanks!!
AR
EB,
Great article!!! Great word!!! This is a great place to dig in and find one’s ADAMANT! Thank you for the inspiration you offer…Fearless right now!
ErinBrock-that is just a fantastic article. It is exactly where I am headed more and more each day. When I think back on people who have the adamant I have always respected those people. We KNOW who they are when we meet them. You can’t bullshit them, you can’t push them, you know where they stand and what they believe in. even if you don’t know them very well you know THIS about them. There are no excuses for their adamant, they aren’t apologizing for their adamant. They are just…..adamant! I love this visual…the gem…and I love this analogy. I am going to copy this article and put it up on my mirror, my fridge and on my car dash and in my office. Thanks!
EB Nice article. Low self esteem – yep know all about that. Happy you found a diamond in all your digging.
Anitasee: Be adamant to collect! Good going on the detective work! It’s out there, and they usually lead us right to it.
Kudos!!!