In my previous two articles on this blog, I wrote that our awful entanglements with sociopaths often have a larger purpose—our personal spiritual growth.
This is an extremely difficult concept, especially when we believe in a benevolent God, universe, or higher power—whatever term you want to use—who only wants the best for us. Why, if God loves us, would he/she want us to experience the deceit, betrayal and destruction of a sociopath?
In my case, the terrible experience allowed me to unearth internal pain and disappointment that was blocking me from feeling love and peace. My sociopathic ex sensed the negative feelings within me, and promised to be the answer to my prayers and the fulfillment of my dreams. It was all, of course, a mirage, and he exploited me. But in the end, as much it grates on me to admit it, I benefited from the experience.
So, if interactions with sociopaths are beneficial, are we always meant to have them? Does God send us these predators for our own good?
The answer, I believe, rests with our personal spiritual journeys. And how do we know what our journeys are supposed to be? Through our intuition.
Many, many of you have told me, or have posted on Lovefraud, that your intuition warned you, early in the involvement with the sociopath, that something was wrong. The story wasn’t adding up. You had an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach, or the individual gave you the creeps. But, for one reason or another, you ignored your intuition and continued the involvement anyway—much to your regret.
This happened to me. Before I met my sociopathic ex-husband, who took a $250,000 from me, I was involved with another con artist. That time, I lost about $6,000. I clearly remember a very strong hit from my intuition—DON’T DO IT. But I ignored my intuition, gave him money, and lost it.
Now, today I realized something important—my intuition never warned me that something was wrong with my ex-husband. On the contrary, when my logical mind perceived problems, discerned that he was lying to me, and I specifically prayed for guidance, asking what to do—my intuition told me to stay with him.
Why? Because getting involved with that particular sociopath fulfilled my spiritual plan.
Tangling with a sociopath may not have been your plan. That’s why your intuition warned you about the problems. But you allowed yourself to be swayed by the sociopath’s charm and golden tongue, and you’re now reading Lovefraud, trying to recover.
If this happened to you, it probably means that your lesson is to listen to your intuition and heed its warnings. You may have missed the lesson before, but you never will again.
Sociopaths in the family
So what does all of this mean for people who have sociopathic family members? You were born into the family with them. You didn’t meet them, and have an opportunity to say yes or no to the relationship.
I’d say that in these cases, you probably were meant to have an opportunity for spiritual growth through the relationship. But at some point, the lesson may be over. At some point, your intuition may tell you that it’s time to let go and put the person out of your life.
Lessons don’t have to last forever. Growth can be achieved. When our intuitions tell us that we’ve accomplished what we set out to do, we can congratulate ourselves and move on.