Sometimes, in high-conflict divorces, children do not want to have anything to do with one of their parents.
Many Lovefraud readers have seen their sociopathic ex-partners turn children away from them. They call it “parental alienation.”
But sometimes sociopathic parents fabricate claims of parental alienation in order to pry children away from the other parent. They claim the other parent is intentionally poisoning the kids against them, when, in fact, it is their own abusive behavior.
It can be very difficult to know what is going on and who is the abusive parent.
But a new industry has sprung up — programs that claim they can reunite children with a parent whom they don’t want to spend time with. No one knows if it works, but courts are ordering kids into them — and it can be truly traumatic for the children.
This story in the Washington Post Magazine tells a frightening story:
They were taken from their mom to rebond with their dad. It didn’t go well., on washingtonpost.com.
Because “kindness” and “empathy” are faked, a sociopath can turn evil in an instant
I had to give up reaching out, to our 3 grown sons; his influence in and through their lives, from babyhood onward, was (and is) too strong. If any have any thoughts about doubting his lies, his rages, his ongoing anger (still, after years of divorce) against me and my family, they keep it to themselves. All 3 are cool to cold towards me, my attempts to explain myself go against a ‘wall’ of silence. All 3 are (Ive been told) frustrated, angry that I do not spend time with their children. The ONLY times I’ve been asked to participate in grandkid events, is when HE is there..I tried that one time, and I was a wreck. (and I was labeled a coward for NOT standing my ground in his presence. Invites to MY house, for meals, visits come to nothing, so I have given up. Please, dont ask me to hope that someday they will ‘wake up’, smell the coffee and change. I gave up on hope as well.
It is pretty scary what is done in the name of psychotherapy and the reason I trust very few people who call themselves therapists. Pushing the child toward a disordered parent traumatizes the child in two ways – one, by the disordered person’s abuse. The other way is by invalidating the child’s feelings. It’s the invalidation that can make a person feel crazy. In some cases both parents are disordered – one is sociopathic, and the other one is enmeshed. I’ve seen this in several families I know. In that case, the child would benefit by having a healthy person in his life as a friend and role model. Other than that, I don’t know what the answer is. I feel the current mental health system is completely inadequate to deal with these issues and it’s not really helping many families. Until the courts and even psychotherapists can recognize when a parent is disordered, these programs will do more damage than good.