Those of us who have been psychologically abused by sociopaths—whether we’re male or female, and whether the abuser is male or female—know that the abuse should be criminal. It appears that in France, it just may happen.
A Lovefraud reader sent me a link to an interesting story in Time Magazine. Legislators from France’s ruling party are expected to introduce a bill that would outlaw “conjugal abuse of a psychological nature” in both married and unmarried relationships.
According to Time,
The legislation seeks to target the verbal and mental denigration, humiliation and manipulation that typically lead to physical abuse. The hope is that the bill will help prevent the emotional wounds that words often cause before a punch is ever thrown.
I hope the law gets passed. I hope it works. We’ll have to see what happens.
Read the article on Time.com:
Oxy, I am so sorry to hear about the non P son having problems. The “hope” with this son is that he has the capacity to possibly learn from his mistakes at some point and the ability to realize the consequences are real. You, of all moms are a great source of wisdom, if he will ONLY “value” the opportunities, and trust that you are looking out for his best. Wishing you the best. Take care!!! xoxo
On Exorcism
Hey, folks.
I haven’t read all the posts, but I figured I would offer my help. I think a lot of disordered people are possessed as some of you have mentioned. My son once had some problems and I contacted a group of healers — well after they got started a demon flew out of him, cursing. I felt it move through me and I felt sudden anger as it passed. My son looked up at me and smiled.
It wasn’t over with the oppositional behavior, but that was all the proof I needed.
When you think about it, doesn’t it just make sense? Just because something exists on a slightly different wavelength than we’re used to doesn’t mean it’s not real.
After all, if little invisible critters can make you sick (bacteria) why can’t something with a bit more organization do the same?
Tonight I will send some spiritual energy to this thread and intend that it begin the process of releasing dark entities of anyone in need. Can’t promise anything, and I wouldn’t expect a whole lot, but I will be there and send it.
If it makes anything shift, I’d like to know. However, entities can come back — that’s why it’s best to have a full program of cleansing, releasing, and teaching the inflicted one how to avoid this stuff next time.
As you can probably guess, I’m working on my own theory of all of it. It’s not quite ready for public consumption, but I will send energy sometime tonight.
Blessings.
Trophy – that’s really interesting, what do you mean by that ?
Anyone……
Has anyone heard of ‘The Landmark Forums”???
Attended, heard about them or know anyone who has attended these seminars?
It was recommended to me…..(here I go)…..and they have a teen gig….
I spoke with my son about them, seeing if he would be even interested before I explored further….
He said….yeh, I don’t see this hurting me any…..
BUT…..the only pain that could come from it is to my wallet!!!!
It’s NOT cheap.
Any input is valued….good bad and ugly!
I’ve never heard of them EB. I did just Google it though and I found this site with a detailed blog account of one guy’s experience with it. From what he described? MIND CONTROL and MANIPULATION to the tune a few hundred bucks. I smell snake swindle.
http://www.skepdic.com/comments/estcom.html
Why was Landmark Forum recommended to you? As in, what benefit is it suppose to have?
P.S To Hens – I can’t for the life of me, remember or find what thread you posted that great ultimate one-liner for an Spath, but I just wanted to tell you that I love it! “You don’t say.”
Oh yeah! That one is perfecta-mundo 🙂
LightSaber:
I have been hearing about it recently…..just pops up in conversations.
I have a GF who her and hub did it like 15 years ago and her husband wants their teenage son to do it.
Then tonight another friend just mentioned it and this woman is an architect, very educated and grounded and it promted me to look into it…..
No one was pushing it in the least…..it was just mentioned….and ofcourse….I guess I’m just looking for the ONE thing that will ‘change’ my oldest!
One last ray of hope…..one last chance to learn something about life……becasue he won’t learn it from me!
He was open to it when we discussed it……so that was positive….and I told him, I wasn’t interested in giving him this opportunity if he wasnt’ interested……as it’s not cheap and would take some planning.
He still thinks he’s graduating…..and I wrestle with shutting him down just yet….out of guilt.
I did the same thing in my marriage…..don’t quite until the fat lady AND her daughter and grandaughter sings….ya know….
I’ve got 3 months and 16 days…..and counting…..to ‘try’.
I guess the benefit, all said…..was empowerment and life altering…..learning how you deal with ‘life’ and how things don’t work for you……and view differently to act differently.
dealing in the ‘now’, realizations about past and letting go…..
Check out the website.
It sounds like therapy of sorts…..but in a different environment. and only a weekend….
And since this kid won’t go back to counseling and calls me Dr. Phil when i talk to him……
I thought maybe this type of environment/aproach would MAYBE suit him?????
I’m NOT big on the pyramid scemes……and dont wish to be dragged into anything because of attending one seminar…..
I know people that are into that , Not me.
And I’m not sure how they deal with the teens on this level…..I’m thinking they may view them as future ‘team leaders’ in their organization……not cool!
Maybe mind control of a troubled child is not such a bad idea? 🙂 At least someone can make him do something!!!
Or not.
I thought your link was interesting…..the guy seemed combative and obviously skeptical…..and wanting to prove to himself and his friend his point.
I don’t know……
I think maybe it’s like a diet…..there are 10000’s of ways to lose weight……
Some just excercise and lose it…..
Some don’t exvercise and just watch their diet……
Some do the low carb, some take diet pills, some do surgery…..
I guess whatever works for an individual????
It’s up to all of us to keep the weight off long term, no matter how we choose to lose it initially…..
The proof is in the ‘long term’…..
Again, I have no idea…….I’m reaching for straws….a miracle……just waiting for that fat lady to sing!
Thanks for your input…..I like all perspectives….
FA LA LA LA LA LA…….
EB, I’m familiar with Forum. It’s a program similar to EST in the 70s and 80s, Silva Mind Control and others that focus on an intensive weekend of experiences to make you aware of self-sabotaging beliefs, likewise aware of your personal potential, possibly including some goal development, all within a context of understanding how taking responsibility can change your life.
I’ve done a number of these through the years, and I always get something out of them. Part of it is the training. Part of it is being around a lot of people who are actively working on themselves. The programs are designed to make your question yourself and then to help you discover yourself. They usually have a wind-up that leave you with the “seminar effect” of feeling really glad you invested in yourself. That sounds kind of crass, but a lot of what you really get from these things creeps up on you when you go home. In good ways.
I’ve never done Forum, so can’t recommend it from experience. But it has a good reputation and it’s been around for a while.
If you want to try something a little less expensive, get some Wayne Dyer CDs to listen to in the car. It’s not the same as being in a big room with a lot of other people and a dynamic speaker, but you’ll get a sense of what this stuff is about.
There are a lot of interesting teachers. If you want more information, drop me a line and I could start funneling information to you. I’m on a lot of mailing lists.
Kathy
Kathy,
I was thinking for my son.
Something he could do….without ME…… on his own……
I’m also familiar with Wayne Dyer…..I may even have the disks…..PBS deal….
I really like his soft spoken ness.
This ‘forum’ came up in conversation today again…..and they have a teen forum…..
Like I said…..maybe grasping at straws here…..
But he was willing…..
It might be a ‘back door’ aproach to therapy.??? For him….but having to do it himself.
There is also a chance he could just walk right on out….and boom $400 bucks down the pooper!
I’ve tried the disks in the car on roadtrips….he puts his itunes in his ears…..and I end up listening to the tapes on my own…..NOT the purpose!
This is why I thought this MIGHT be able to ‘reach’ him……outside chance…..because I won’t be there…..
I’ve been reading about the forum all night….still not any clearer.
Thanks Kathy…..
Erin I have done the forum – many years ago. It’s similar in some respects to Tony Robbins work but harsher. The forums are quite confronting – there is a leader with a mic and anywhere from 50 – 150 people in the auditorium. The leader presents various concepts about life and then takes questions and comments from the audience – like I said it is very confronting – many people ended up in tears at the one I attended. The way the leader treated their personal histories was harsh and humiliating in front of everyone – interrogating them.
An aspect of it I don’t like is that it encourages people to be cold to one another. Everything is seen as a ‘choice’ and the impact of emotions on decisionmaking is negated by the leaders. They make out that we make our decisions in a vacuum without considering others in the process. I find the lack of contextualising difficult to deal with. And you are already noting your son is behaving in selfish ways – this program would encourage him to do that more. People are encouraged to follow their own agendas regardless of the impact on others (sound familiar anyone??) – if you do consider others you are told that you are ‘making excuses’ for not doing what you really want to do.
That said, by the end of the forum several people had resolved to make important changes in their lives. Of course the forum is structured this way – you spend long hours without food or water being lectured and ‘brainwashed’ – you end up in a kind of hypnotic state – start at 9 in the morning and go through till around 10 at night. There are breaks, but you are expected to be back on time and be involved in everything. If you break any of the explicit rules you are told in front of everyone ‘You may as well leave because you just gave up y our right to expect anything from this program’ – the rules are quite pedantic – no drugs of any description – that includes tobacco, caffeine and even headache pills. One woman on my forum ended up in tears because she had a terrible headache and they were pressuring her not to take her medication. No note taking is allowed and things move quite fast so often all you can recall is a blur!
There is a big hardsell element to the program. You will find that out if you seek info for your son. You will both be invited to a Landmark ‘introduction’ – this is usually held at a graduate or senior graduate’s house and they gather several interested people to tell how wonderful it is and how it changed their lives. They really pressure you to sign up – the guy introducing me even offered to loan me the money to do the course because ‘I believe in it that much and I absolutely know it will do you good’. Also on the last night where people get up to say how they’re going to change their lives, they are expected to bring 3-4 people with them – who naturally are taken away to another room to be pressured to sign up. They also pressure graduates of the basic forum to sign up for more advanced and expensive courses. My colleague has recently completed advanced training and was expected to give up weekends so he could volunteer his time on basic forums. He sent his teenaged son to one too – signs looked good initially, and he has turned a few things around, but it is up to the individual person.
After the forum you are expected to attend a ten week follow up one night a week – don’t know if it is the same for teens though – this is to ensure you stay on track and don’t backslide.
So I don’t know quite what to tell you about it – I guess if you want to know more – ask Donna for my email = there are positive elements to it, but I kind of disagree with the theoretical underpinnings and think this method of training is quite harsh – it’s also a one size fits all approach. It is disciplined though … and that might help your son. They also won’t accept his excuses as to why things go wrong – they will expect him to take full responsbility. It might be a good shock and wake up call for him. He would be forced to realise how much you actually do for him. Some people get it and some don’t. It’s probably a fair gamble Erin – it doesn’t cost TOO much money and it just might be the thing he needs to kick his backside into gear.
There isn’t that much online about Landmark as they sue everyone lol People either really love it or really hate it. It might be an idea for you and your son to attend an introduction and meet some advanced graduates – get your intuition working over time and see what you think about them. I find they are quite cold people – very rational and calculating – but those are the people who have done way more than one forum – they’re volunteering and socialising in those circles so that might affect them. Probably worth investigating a bit more before deciding. If you want to know any more just let me know – I’m being a bit careful about posting in public about the content 🙂
Erin,
After reading midlifes above post it sounds kind of scarey to me. The thing that stood out the most was when midlife said:
“to follow their own agendas regardless of the impact on others”.
For a young 17 year old that is like saying, well you know what it would say to him…..
There is however a program that my sons counselor at school found out about for him last year. He was talking to this counselor saying how he HAD to get out of this house, it was so bad here. And so she came up with an option for him to continue his education and also get out of the house.
It is through the National Guard but this program is for teenagers. It is a 7 month program. (they are away from home) The teenager has to commit to the program. You can’t commit for them.
I do not know the fee of this program because of course my son flatly refused to even learn more about it. He didn’t want any one telling him what to do. And he figured a program with the national guard would have to many rules.
But it is not the same as those expensive “kid camp” programs that you send your kid away to. That you have to put a second mortgage on your house.
Its through the national guard and it sounded really good to me.
Just an idea for you…I know how hard this is. I also know that part of the process is for you to DO everything you possibly can for them. It is very important to try and see if anything can reach them. Because sometimes as the parent we really can’t. But if something else CAN, then it it is all worth it.