Those of us who have been psychologically abused by sociopaths—whether we’re male or female, and whether the abuser is male or female—know that the abuse should be criminal. It appears that in France, it just may happen.
A Lovefraud reader sent me a link to an interesting story in Time Magazine. Legislators from France’s ruling party are expected to introduce a bill that would outlaw “conjugal abuse of a psychological nature” in both married and unmarried relationships.
According to Time,
The legislation seeks to target the verbal and mental denigration, humiliation and manipulation that typically lead to physical abuse. The hope is that the bill will help prevent the emotional wounds that words often cause before a punch is ever thrown.
I hope the law gets passed. I hope it works. We’ll have to see what happens.
Read the article on Time.com:
hey lightsaber, i have been wondering how things are. good the ‘see’ you. 🙂
one step
Hi one step 🙂 thanks for thinking about me!! I have taking some time away from the blog and to concentrate on healing myself, away from LF. I was getting triggered too much a few days back..a week maybe? I’m not sure how long it’s been. I was getting some negative, dark vibes and feeling triggered while reading here instead of the usual supporting “light” so I decided to take a bit of break away and feed the white wolf for myself.
I have gotten into meditating and that is helping me a lot. I am having a lot of physical problems as well that I need to take care of and one of them is back, shoulder and neck pain. It’s horrible. Some days I can barely move. I got myself a beginner’s yoga DVD on Monday and I’ve yet to try it. The past two days have been too painful. Hopefully, I will feel up to it tomorrow.
I also bought a book that has been extraodinary for me. It’s “The Highly Sensitive Person” by Elaine Arons. I am an extremely sensitive (highly in-tuned, responsive and reactive, irritated by the stimulation of any of my senses), empathic person and that has effected my life considerably. So, reading that and understanding what I can do to heal and live in this world without hermiting myself has been a tremendously good thing.
I quickly scanned your article (I can’t remember which day it was posted) and it (you) blew me away. I could not stay on the site, however, and decided to come back when I felt safe. I wanted to read it again and fully take it in and comment. Is it gone now?
Nicolaid – I am going to say one more thing to you …
just because you warn something might be hurtful does not remove the intent to cause upset with words. I accept your apology, but in future please be careful and gentle with your words – we have all gone through tremendous pain here and we don’t need to add to it – we’ve had enough for a lifetime already.
Hens – thankyou … I pondered for quite some time whether to respond or not and if I did then how. It is not like me to speak up and for me this whole incident shows some healing inside. I was able to affirm I felt triggered, identify what was causing it and take some action – I haven’t been that clear in … I don’t know how long. It feels healthier than bottling.
Lightsaber – some excellent points there – there are a lot of incorrect assumptions about psychopaths and these relationships floating around. Thankyou for taking the time to pull apart each point and respond to it.
Sabrina – you put that far better than I ever could have 🙂 Thankyou for that response. It did hurt and it made me feel angry and victimised all over again. I don’t want to feel that way here – this is the place I come for uplift, understanding and refuelling.
LTL – the day after was wonderful – driven with passion and this energy that came from nowhere. I was exhausted by the end of it but very satisfied and slept soundly the next night – no more nightmares for now thank goodness.
One step – you are such a lake of goodness – you make everyone feel wonderful with your presence, care and love. Don’t ever change! (except around psychos of course!)
lightsaber – ha! i just wrote your name as ‘lightsaver’. 🙂
it is gone; i’s the weirdest thing. i have emailed donna and asked why. it is odd that that is would disappear/ be taken down. If it was deleted on purpose, then i want to know why. I find it extremely troubling that the we were not informed, as many people lost posts. it’s really thrown me for a loop.
have you ever tried Bowen? I don’t know if you would have the resources for it – but it is so non invasive a bodywork. it has changed my neck problems…it is very powerful for me. it facilitates a dialogue within all my systems (well, i guess that would be more than a ‘dialogue’; it facilitates a healing conversation within my body – showing it, layer by layer, what it can be)
what are you carrying up there in your head that is making your head too heavy for your neck?
i am glad you are feeling sfe. and good job on your magnum opus up thread.
i haven’t read the HSP. I have read bits from it. I know i am in that camp. I just got my own copy of the Betrayal Bond. the library will be so happy. I need to do one book at a time – but i am sure that HSP would be worth a read for me. I also need to do some work on PTSD SOOOOOn.
I think being triggered here (for me) is a safer place to be triggered. and i am. the thread disappearing was a big one. but i can walk away , and think and don’t have to ‘react’ here. easier than in 3D. good training place.
white wolves unite!
best,
one step
beauty midlife: around spath’s i promise i will practice being a stone cold pyscho bitch.
or somethin’ like that.
😉
Hi midlife 🙂
I couldn’t not pull apart each point. When I read something that is chock full of assumptions and missing salient points (for whatever reason), it’s in my nature to notice it and I really felt that I needed to respond because of the damage that can happen, if it’s not done with bad intent.
I think part of the problem is – and this is something I touched on but didn’t get into much – the MEDIA.
I’m going to address this to Nicolaid as well, since I am referring to your post. What I found reading between the lines of your post is that there is a glaring misconception and perceptual distortion in the general public of WHAT psychopaths REALLY are like. This misconception comes from what we read and watch.
The popular image of a psychopath is only the very rare extreme cases. The real danger in this is that the VAST MAJORITY of psychos get away with untold damage because they fly under the radar of this misconception. I see that inherent in your post when you identify mainly the rare types of P’s and wonder why they attract women. It’s NOT those we have to worry so much about. It’s the millions of wolves in sheep clothing that DON’T get all the media attention.
WHY NOT? Because sensationalism sells. It’s more juicy to have a story about a minor starlet or any other woman who falls for an obvious psycho swine then the story of millions of other women embroiled in day to day soul destroying sabotage and abuse at the hands of a malevolent chameleon. That’s a little too ugly for people to want to see, huh?
one step – I will look up Bowen and see what it’s all about. Almost anything that is gentle and will help, I am willing to try. Thank you for that recommendation 🙂
“lightsaver” hahaha I AM also a lightsaver. I use dimmers and candles as much as possible.
I also use colored lightbulbs, christmas tree strand lights instead of normal lamps and hang scarves over my lamps (although I have to be very careful with that as I’ve twice started scarves melting). As you can probably guess, I am sensitive to light and articifial light sources generally bother me :/
HSP is an awesome book. It’s only $15 and really well worth buying!! I have a long list of books on my reading wish list that I haven’t had the money to buy so when I got a bit of spending money left after my monthy expenses this past month, I spent it all on books!! LOL I also bought “The Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Sourcebook” which is very good and “Without Conscience”.
Many things that autisticsouls and her husband Mike have written on LF started stuff going around inside of me. There was a lot of recongition of things that kind of swam around in me for weeks and affected me emotionally as far as identifying similarities in myself. Some of these things were quite startling for me. The HSP book and other research online has really been an epiphany for me of sorts and I have both Mike and his wife to thank for that. Which I will do in another post 🙂
Lightsaber – are you referrring to the Highly Sensitive People book? I think the one I read was titled Too Loud, Too Bright, Too Fast – about sensory overload. Excellent read and I related to a lot of the points the author made. It had some good strategies for reducing tension – I might look into buying a copy too – I got mine from the library. I also got a lot from reading the Introvert Advantage … I come out as an introvert on personality tests, but I wonder if that is the result of the experience? According to Sandra Brown most women who love psychopaths are extraverts … something to ponder over – as if I don’t have enough thinking to do lol
You are so right about the media … I had never seen a 60 minutes or doco on just an ordinary person who got abused by a psychopath. All I had seen were serial murderers, rapists and really awful criminals. So I stupidly thought to myself “I’m fine- he hasn’t had a single conviction and that’s how you tell”
We need to see ordinary people who have been through it. We really need to see what it’s really like – not the hype and fakeness. I would have expected a bank robbery from a psycho … not that I was the bank and he was intent on bankrupting me – it’s just too far removed from the popular perception.
lightsaber – you have to use SILK scarves. 🙂
i saw you as gathering light – colored light.
i will check out this ptsd sourcebook.
night night.
x
one step
One step – hello you gorgeous thing you 😛 How is the week going for you?