• Menu
  • Skip to right header navigation
  • Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths – narcissists in relationships

How to recognize and recover from everyday sociopaths - narcissists

  • Search
  • Cart
  • My Account
  • Contact
  • Register
  • Log in
  • Search
  • Cart
  • My Account
  • Contact
  • Register
  • Log in
  • About
  • Talk to Donna
  • Videos
  • Store
  • Blog
  • News
  • Podcasts
  • Webinars
  • About
  • Talk to Donna
  • Videos
  • Store
  • Blog
  • News
  • Podcasts
  • Webinars

Game theory and the sociopath

You are here: Home / Explaining the sociopath / Game theory and the sociopath

January 25, 2010 //  by Donna Andersen//  108 Comments

Tweet
Share
Pin
Share
0 Shares

Shock. Total disbelief. Utter incomprehension. That’s what we feel upon finally realizing that when the sociopath cheated on us, blew through our money, twisted our emotions and messed with our minds, to him or her it was all just a sick, depraved game.

Sociopaths do not form emotional connections with other human beings. They do not experience love. They do not feel honor, altruism or concern for others. The words they speak and the actions they take have only one objective: getting what they want. To them, life is a game, and they want to win.

Game theory is a field of study that, according to Wikipedia, “attempts to mathematically capture behavior in strategic situations, in which an individual’s success in making choices depends on the choices of others.”

Sociopaths are often very good at games in this sense. They look at social situations, perform a quick cost-benefit analysis, and then act based on what will serve their interests. For example, a sociopath may evaluate a situation like this: “If I tell her that I love her, and promise to marry her, she’ll let me move in and give me money to pay off my back child support so the court will get off my back.” Notice there is no love, no concern for children. It’s all about a means to an end.

Prisoner’s Dilemma

According to game theory, many variables can affect outcomes in contested situations. For example, people are generally, although not always, assumed to be rational and making choices that benefit their own self-interest. It’s also important for participants to know whether another player in the game can be trusted, or is likely to be deceptive.

A famous game in this field of study is called the “Prisoner’s Dilemma.” Here, according to Wikipedia, is the classic scenario:

Two suspects are arrested by the police. The police have insufficient evidence for a conviction, and, having separated both prisoners, visit each of them to offer the same deal. If one testifies (defects from the other) for the prosecution against the other and the other remains silent (cooperates with the other), the betrayer goes free and the silent accomplice receives the full 10-year sentence. If both remain silent, both prisoners are sentenced to only six months in jail for a minor charge. If each betrays the other, each receives a five-year sentence. Each prisoner must choose to betray the other or to remain silent. Each one is assured that the other would not know about the betrayal before the end of the investigation. How should the prisoners act?

The choice, therefore, is between cooperation and defection. In studies, players have participated in a variation of the Prisoner’s Dilemma in which they earned points based on their choices.  The possible outcomes were:

  • If both players cooperated, they each earned 3 points.
  • If both players defected, they each earned 1 point.
  • If one player cooperated and the other player defected, the cooperating player got 0 points—the sucker punch—and the defecting player got 5 points.

Therefore, when one person cooperated and the other defected, the defector came out way ahead.

Reputation

Psychology researcher Linda Mealey published a paper in 1995 called The Sociobiology of Sociopathy: An Integrated Evolutionary Model. In it, she discussed another dimension of the Prisoner’s Dilemma game as it applies to real life. If the most rational strategy is to be selfish and betray, why would anyone cooperate?

The answer lies in reputation. If a player is known among members of a group to always defect, then no rational person will “play” with him or her. When a person has a reputation as a defector, that person will not have an opportunity for any kind of gain, cooperative or exploitative.

This is where game theory becomes useful in dealing with sociopaths. Mealey writes:

Sociopaths’ immediate decisions are based partly on their ability to ”¦ use those expectations of others’ behavior in a cost-benefit analysis to assess what actions are likely to be in their own self-interest. ”¦ The outcome of such analyses is therefore partially dependent on the sociopath’s expectations of the behavior of other players in the game. I would argue that an entire society can be seen as a player, and that the past behavior of that society will be used by the sociopath ”¦ to predict the future behavior of that society.

Like an individual player, a society will have a certain probability of detecting deception, a more-or-less accurate memory of who has cheated in the past, and a certain proclivity to retaliate or not, based upon a cheater’s past reputation and current behavior. Since the sociopath is using a rational and actuarial approach to assess the costs and benefits of different behaviors, it is the actual past behavior of the society which will go into his calculations, rather than risk assessments inflated from the exaggerated fears or anxieties that most people feel in anticipation of being caught or punished. Thus, to reduce antisocial behavior, a society must establish and enforce a reputation for high rates of detection of deception and identification of cheaters, and a willingness to retaliate. In other words, it must establish a successful strategy of deterrence.

According to Mealey, a society “must establish a reputation for willingness to retaliate.” This means increasing the probability of criminal detection, identification and punishment. And the retaliation must be swift. If there’s a long lag time between antisocial behavior and consequences—well, the antisocial behavior will continue.

Exposure

Mealey’s comments related to reputation square with what I have seen. Since our society hasn’t established a reputation for willingness to retaliate—the justice system is a joke—the only effective action to take against sociopaths is exposure.

The case histories section of Lovefraud, called True Lovefraud Stories, exposes the behavior of 16 different sociopaths. It works. I’ve heard from many people who came in contact with the predators, Googled them, found the Lovefraud stories, and dumped the sociopath. One woman, discovering what Bill Strunk was really all about, actually told him that he had a “bad reputation.”

Lovefraud’s goal for the future is to publish many more bad reputations. Hopefully, then, people won’t play with the sociopaths.

Category: Explaining the sociopath, Laws and courts

Previous Post: « Forgiveness, sociopathy and choice
Next Post: Thank you Donna! »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Recovering

    April 17, 2011 at 7:11 pm

    Thanks LL and how are you today anyway? 😉

    Log in to Reply
  2. lesson learned

    April 17, 2011 at 8:03 pm

    Far,

    Doing well, thanks for askin! Got my grandchildren here now.

    🙂

    LL

    Log in to Reply
  3. geminigirl

    April 17, 2011 at 11:00 pm

    Hi, LL, darlin!! How are you today?
    Thinking of you!Love to all the grandkids!!And lots to yourself!
    {{{HUGS!!}}
    Mama GemXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

    Log in to Reply
  4. lesson learned

    April 17, 2011 at 11:04 pm

    ((((((((((( Mama!! )))))))))))))

    Doin ok, just uper tired! How are you???

    My computer has been “crashing” all day. I have no idea what’s going on. If you’ve mailed me today I’ll be getting to my emails tonight.

    XXOO HUGZZZZZZZZZZZ Will give the kiddos your love!

    LL

    Log in to Reply
  5. skylar

    April 17, 2011 at 11:32 pm

    Hi Mama Gem,
    how are things on your side of the world?
    What time is it there? It’s 8:30PM here.

    Log in to Reply
  6. geminigirl

    April 18, 2011 at 12:00 am

    Hi, Sky!! Im doing good today!
    Its 1.55 lunch time at the moment.beautiful sunny day, and its SPATH FREE!!! so whatever the weather throws at me, Im still ahead!A day spath free is OK with me!!
    Hi, LL, Darlin, I just sent you 2 E cards, one for your kids and Gkids! Hope you manage to open them OK!Hows your computer now?
    Not sure if Oxy is back yet from her “Living History” weekend.
    Hey, say after me,”Im free, Im safe, and Im spath free!! Yippeee!!”
    Lots of love to all my great LF pals,
    Mama GemXX

    Log in to Reply
  7. geminigirl

    April 18, 2011 at 12:00 am

    That should read,”Im sane, Im safe, and Im spath free!”
    Love, GemXX

    Log in to Reply
  8. skylar

    April 18, 2011 at 12:33 am

    You should paint that Mama. Paint a picture of life, in a spath free world. I can only imagine the love and serenity.

    Log in to Reply
« Older Comments

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Primary Sidebar

Shortcuts to Lovefraud information

Shortcuts to the Lovefraud information you're looking for:

Explaining everyday sociopaths

Is your partner a sociopath?

How to leave or divorce a sociopath

Recovery from a sociopath

Senior Sociopaths

Love Fraud - Donna Andersen's story

Share your story and help change the world

Lovefraud Blog categories

  • Explaining sociopaths
    • Female sociopaths
    • Scientific research
    • Workplace sociopaths
    • Book reviews
  • Seduced by a sociopath
    • Targeted Teens and 20s
  • Sociopaths and family
    • Law and court
  • Recovery from a sociopath
    • Spiritual and energetic recovery
    • For children of sociopaths
    • For parents of sociopaths
  • Letters to Lovefraud and Spath Tales
    • Media sociopaths
  • Lovefraud Continuing Education

Footer

Inside Lovefraud

  • Author profiles
  • Blog categories
  • Post archives by year
  • Media coverage
  • Press releases
  • Visitor agreement

Your Lovefraud

  • Register for Lovefraud.com
  • Sign up for the Lovefraud Newsletter
  • How to comment
  • Guidelines for comments
  • Become a Lovefraud CE Affiliate
  • Lovefraud Affiliate Dashboard
  • Contact Lovefraud
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Meta

  • Register
  • Log in
  • Entries feed
  • Comments feed
  • WordPress.org

Copyright © 2025 Lovefraud | Escape sociopaths - narcissists in relationships · All Rights Reserved · Powered by Mai Theme