I’ve been incredulously half-following the media reports of the scandal involving General David Petraeus; his paramour Paula Broadwell; Jill Kelley, whose complaint about harassing emails touched off the investigation; Natalie Khawam, Kelley’s twin sister who was embroiled in a nasty custody fight; General John Allen, who allegedly sent “flirtatious” emails to Kelley; and a shirtless FBI agent.
This story is so convoluted that it’s tough to follow all the characters and allegations. I found a really good summary on MotherJones.com, complete with updates as the story got thicker and thicker:
The David Petraeus Scandal, Explained
I thought there must be a lesson in this story somewhere for Lovefraud readers. But what might it be?
Perhaps it is simply that human beings are capable of a wide range of bad and/or stupid behavior, not all of it sociopathic. So here are a few key points that we can draw from the tawdry mess:
1. Smart people are capable of doing stupid things.
Gen. David Petraeus was not only a highly decorated military man credited with “saving” America’s war effort in Iraq, he was also a Princeton Ph.D. Yet he was willing to risk his entire career on an extramarital affair. Some may argue that powerful people have been engaging in sexual liaisons for millennia and it’s nobody’s business. Regardless, Petraeus had to know that if the affair were discovered, the media would have a field day and his legacy would be ruined. That’s exactly what happened.
2. Power corrupts.Â
Powerful people tend to believe that they can do what they want and get away with anything. Those in the orbit of powerful people like to flaunt their access. Others want to associate with powerful people, and will go into debt throwing lavish parties to gain the access, well, because they like power too, even if it’s only by association. But there comes a point where power leads to trouble, as many people in this story have discovered.
3. Nothing is truly private.
Petraeus was sending emails to Broadwell, Broadwell was allegedly sending threatening emails to Kelley and Kelley was exchanging “flirtatious messages” with Allen. Now we all know. And the twins, Kelley and Khawam, are both heavily in debt and have multiple lawsuits filed against them. All of their dirty laundry has become the fodder for the voracious media machine. Nothing on the Internet dies. And when records are public—or even if they aren’t—someone will find them.
So what conclusions can we draw?
All human behavior is on a continuum. The right amount of power and aggression can lead to successful military career—too much power and aggression can lead to murder. The right amount of libido leads to a healthy intimate relationship—too much leads to recklessness, promiscuity and coercive sex. A certain amount of risk taking leads to financial growth—too much leads to debt, foreclosure and lawsuits.
In the end, I suppose the lesson of this saga is that people are complicated, life is messy, and we should all be wary of unintended consequences.
I think most of the players in this saga have too many traits on the upper end of the narcissism or sociopath continuum. It doesn’t seem to be about stupid mistakes a couple of people made, as much as it was about very calculated actions by quite a few who felt entitled and above the rules, and then were shocked that their true colors were glaringly exposed to the whole world.
I agree, I am just waiting for them to come out with a reality tv show …..I read where Petraeus will get 12,000 a month pension for life. And Paula Broad Well has already been offered 12 million to right a book…it’s sick imo..
Donna, thank you for this article.
Power corrupts – always, and without fail. There are no “wise kings,” out there, anymore. There’s no “Solomon” who is just and able. What we have instead of wisdom is haughty arrogance.
Without fail, power corrupts. Ew………..that ANY of these players is being offered monetary compensation for their personal misdeeds makes me sick.
Brightest blessings
Petraeus hired a lawyer; Broadwell hired a PR firm.
http://news.msn.com/politics/broadwell-hires-washington-pr-firm-to-deal-with-petraeus-scandal-2
How do you spell “narcissist”?
I think #2 is the BIGGIE in this situation. The narcissism brought on by power and access to power by association produces the sense of entitlement that allows these people to over come any moral compass they had in order to do whatever it is that rings their chimes.
Excess humility is not an attribute of many military generals or world leaders that I have ever read about, and I don’t think that Petraeus was overly hampered by an excess of humility or excess morality in this situation. Plus, we don’t know that this was his “first” episode of infidelity either….or Broadwell’s. She is also a married woman with young children.
As for Kelly—well, I don’t guess it ever occurred to her that an FBI investigation might bring out any dirt from the corners of her own life or the life of her sister, but it did.
While she got “threatening” e mails telling her to stay away from the general, I find it difficult to believe that she was TRULY FRIGHTENED by these e mails, frightened enough to get the FBI involved???…and makes me wonder if she didn’t know who sent them and why and just wanted to stir up some drama, never thinking it might bring her own house of cards tumbling down.
Ahhhh, the webs we weave……
“Slate” has another interesting take on this topic:
Why Generals Cheat
The job requires extreme self-confidence. And it helps to be a bit of a rogue.
http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/war_stories/2012/11/john_allen_s_emails_to_jill_kelley_why_do_generals_like_david_petraeus_have.html
This quote from that article
Many leaders—not just in the military, but in politics, medicine, the corporate world, all realms of life—have a talent for compartmentalization. Still, there are limits to how far the human psyche can be stretched. It should be no surprise that, sometimes, when people assume such a lofty helm and such extreme levers of power, the sense of self-supremacy that goes with the job can extend to other realms of life.
I think sums it all up….back again to #2….you can’t be a big shot politician (state or world leader) or general without being enough of a narcissist to think you are “special” and being “special” can make your own rules….as long as you don’t get caught…and of course being so SMART, you are not going to get caught….well, until you are caught of course and then you stand before the nation screaming and pointing your finger at the television camera and saying (in spite of the EVIDENCE to the contrary) “I did NOT have sex with that woman,…. Monica….”
At least Petraeus was enough of a stand up man to admit what he did and at least say “sorry.”
The article got “the sense of self-supremacy that goes with the job can extend to other realms of life” backwards.
It’s the sense of self-supremacy that led the person to the career choice and into the job.
Einsenhower was supposed to be a caring individual. Before my time so I wouldn’t know for sure, but I’ve seen him pointed out from time to time as a general who was keen on negotiations to reduce the killing and war efforts.
Years ago I read that the CIA selects psychopaths for their assassin jobs after a thorough evaluation of their personalities and found them indifferent to killing. I don’t know if that’s a fact, but it was printed and I did read it.
I saw some research on whether psychopaths were good for special ops because killing didn’t bother them. The answer was no, because the psychopaths also could not be trusted to do the job.
When I was in college, a “friend” of mine set me up to go out with a Navy pilot. Having been raised in a military family, I was familiar with the boast and swagger, but I had never had much association with pilots. Well……
Each of these men (only a male squadron, then) had the most attractive wives or girlfriends, the fastest imported vehicles, the most elaborate and expensive stereo equipment, etc., etc., etc. I mean that the whole scenario was laughable!
At the awards banquet that I went to, it then became all about who could flirt with their comrades’ wifes/girlfriends the most effectively, who could drink whom under the table, and so forth. It was more than I could EVER have tolerated, and I never went out with that pilot, again.
Officers who go through the military systems via West Point or Annapolis are taught that they are the best of the best of the best. They are taught extreme arrogance and also experience extreme humliiations.
Oh, boy…….what an ugly mess this has turned out to be. There is no “honor,” anymore, if there ever really WAS “honor,” before.
Brightest blessings