Yesterday I attended a family celebration in honor of my little niece’s First Holy Communion. The guest of honor, my niece, is in the second grade and is a beautiful, vibrant child—blond hair, blue eyes with a sprinkle of freckles across her nose. In her white Communion dress, she looked like a little angel.
It was a sunny day and a pleasant get-together. Most of the guests had left when my niece and her friend, another little girl, wanted to put on a “show” for those of us who remained. We, of course, agreed to be the audience.
With a video clip from the Internet providing the music, the girls sang and danced to the song Beggin’ On Your Knees by Victoria Justice.
I was horrified.
Victoria Justice
Victoria Justice is 18 years old. She has been performing since the age of 10, and has acted in several TV shows on Nickelodeon. Without a doubt, she is a beautiful, talented singer and dancer. But she is also selling sex to little girls.
Here’s the video of Beggin’ On Your Knees.
The video is slick, obviously packaged by entertainment executives and corporate bigwigs to appeal to tweens—and younger. It’s set on a seaside amusement pier, with the actors playing arcade games and going on rides. The performers, of course, represent a nice multicultural mix—I’m sure the money men don’t want to miss any marketing opportunities.
So Victoria Justice sings about her relationship with some guy, and how he cheats on her. The chorus goes like this:
and One day i’ll have you begging on your knees for me
yeah, One day i’ll have you crawling like a centipede
You mess with me?
And mess with her!
So I’ll make sure you get what you deserve
yeah, One day you’ll be begging on your knees for me
So my little niece, who a few hours earlier was angelic in her white Communion dress, was shaking her body and crawling on the floor as she sang along to Beggin’ On Your Knees.
She, of course, had no idea what the words meant. But the messages are there for anyone to see: Girls achieve success by attracting good-looking boyfriends. Good-looking boyfriends cheat on their girlfriends. When cheating happens, girls take revenge.
Gee—when I was my niece’s age, I watched Shirley Temple sing Animal Crackers in My Soup.
Cheerleaders
This isn’t the first time I was struck by the blatant sexual messages being communicated to young girls. A few months ago, friends were in Atlantic City to watch their daughter perform in a big cheerleading competition. They invited my husband and I to join them.
This girl is a senior in high school and has been cheerleading since she was young. Approximately 3,000 girls were participating in this competition, ranging from high school age to girls my niece’s age—or younger.
As I walked around Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City, I could not believe my eyes. All of the girls, down to the youngest ones, were parading around in cheerleading costumes that featured off-the-shoulder tops, bare midriffs and extremely short skirts. They all wore heavy make-up. They were all being taught to strut, show what they’ve got, and smile.
Abusive dating
I, in the meantime, am preparing to talk to another group of high school students about Sociopaths and Abusive Dating Relationships.
Part of my message is that sociopaths use sex to trap their victims. If you’re lonely, you are vulnerable. And when you have sex, you form a psychological bond that makes it difficult to get away if the person turns out to be an abuser. This is how domestic violence starts.
Yet according to the constant bombardment of messages directed towards young girls, their success depends on how sexy they are, and whether they can attract a hot boyfriend. Any girl without a boyfriend, therefore, will feel lonely, and will be vulnerable to the abuse of a sociopath.
So how do I compete with overwhelming, lifelong marketing? How do I tell these high school students that sex may get them in trouble when they’ve been fed a steady diet of “sex sells” since they were little kids?
Girls are being brainwashed by marketers out to make a buck. I don’t even know how parents can protect their kids from the onslaught—they’d have to raise their daughters in a cocoon. As a result, so many little girls are probably ripe to become the next generation of victims of sociopaths.
Why not Gymnastics or Ballet? Both are excellant for excercise. I don’t buy it that pole dancing is an art-form. If it is an art-form, it’s one that originated out of a seedy tradition.
They can sugar coat it all they want, it will always have a stigma attached, and that alone is reason enough not to let your 12 year old go there.
Due to x-p-daughter person and boyfriend person’s past history, including jail time, for selling a particular fungus drug, I must pass out a warning slip to all tea party participants – DON’T EAT THE MUSHROOMS
Boy, this is more like Alice in Wonderland than I first thought……..
…..and the white-night is talking backwards, and the red-queen, is all in her head, remember what the door-mouse said!!! (Sang in my best Grace Slick voice.)
Please pass a crumpett, and a drop more tea.
OMGoodness! Stay AWAY from the mushrooms!!! Those are VERY bad news (from personal experience a LOOOOOOOOOOONG time ago)
I think you can actually compare a relationship with a spath as Alice’s trip into wonderland… well nightmareland really. The madhatter, anyone?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WANNqr-vcx0
Well, at least MiLo, you can get a good laugh out of it. The visuals in your head can sure be funny…and it isn’t going to become a reality, so just have fun with it.
Well, now we have another version of the botox mom story…
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1388999/Botox-mother-Sheena-Upton-jailed-14-days-lying-traffic-offences.html
Now that she says she lied, we also find out, she lied about her name, she lied to the cops and did some previous jail time for lying.
I would say this woman is a chronic pathologic liar…hum????
Even though the little girl is smiling in her pic she looks really sad. Her smile doesn’t reach into her eyes, and in my opinion she looks, PAINTED.
I agree Kim. First off the little girl is a cute little girl, but she is not the “knock’em dead” gorgeous good looks child that most of the kids are, she’s just in my opinion a normal looking kid, not bad nor great either, just average kid, but I think mom is the one who is so determined to make this kid a “star” which she probably will never be, which is going to make the kid feel like she is a failure when she is only a “failure” in her mother’s eyes, and compared to those uber-model kids.
Ordinary kids set themselves up to “fail” by comparing themselves to the “Paris Hilton-set” or the rock stars or movie stars, or sports stars and if they don’t succeed in becoming those levels, then they are “failures”—-in this case the mother is doing this TO her kid. Because obviously since the mom is not a super star she can be one by proxy by making her kid one….or not as the case may be. Whole thing is SICK.
Great article. Thanks Donna.
And thanks to Annie for the link regarding the ‘golden child’ type of abuse. I’ve been searching this site for more information just like this.
I need help on what to do about my fiance’s two children, aged 10 and 11, with his spath ex-wife. They’re being groomed by her, for sure.
Ex-wife treats the girl like the golden child – can do no wrong, there are no rules or boundaries or consequences for the girl, but the boy is emotionally abused and neglected. Mum and daughter are obsessed with twilight/all vampire stories; Mum allows the kids to watch all sorts of violent or age-inappropriate movies and tv. She also acts like a disney parent, spending sooooo much money on toys and electronic junk for the kids, designer clothes as well, so she can play ‘perfect parent’.
My fiance has 50/50 custody of his kids. I watch the daughter lying and being manipulative, and being really two-faced (how can a girl of ten be two-faced already!?) The daughter reports information back to the mother from her dad’s house, and is definitely more than the just the meat in the sandwich between her dad and Mum. She says derogatory things about her dad to her mum (phone calls / emails etc) when she thinks she is unobserved etc.. But the daughter is sweet as pie to her dad in person, when she’s not being aloof / distant, that is…
the boy is clearly angry and confused. he’s started to act out physically – punching, kicking things when he gets upset, which isn’t uncommon. he’s highly anxious. when offered counselling though, he evidently tells his dad he doesn’t want to go.
My fiance seems to be rather overwhelmed – or in denial – about his kids’ behaviour. He has to deal with the negativity (harassment) from his ex-wife in regards to their shared parenting. Ex-wife is constantly putting him down, is angry, trying to pick fights etc. He has limited her contact to email, or text message if urgent, yet she still causes so much trouble. I suspect he can’t see the forest for the trees.
Any advice on where to start with the kids? My fiance and I are hopefully starting family counselling soon, however I’d still love to read more about how to guide and support these kids so that their mother’s influence doesn’t win out.
Are there any resources here? I tried the link to the ‘parenting at risk children (not sure of that title), but couldn’t find anything relevant. Perhaps I’m missing something..