Yesterday I attended a family celebration in honor of my little niece’s First Holy Communion. The guest of honor, my niece, is in the second grade and is a beautiful, vibrant child—blond hair, blue eyes with a sprinkle of freckles across her nose. In her white Communion dress, she looked like a little angel.
It was a sunny day and a pleasant get-together. Most of the guests had left when my niece and her friend, another little girl, wanted to put on a “show” for those of us who remained. We, of course, agreed to be the audience.
With a video clip from the Internet providing the music, the girls sang and danced to the song Beggin’ On Your Knees by Victoria Justice.
I was horrified.
Victoria Justice
Victoria Justice is 18 years old. She has been performing since the age of 10, and has acted in several TV shows on Nickelodeon. Without a doubt, she is a beautiful, talented singer and dancer. But she is also selling sex to little girls.
Here’s the video of Beggin’ On Your Knees.
The video is slick, obviously packaged by entertainment executives and corporate bigwigs to appeal to tweens—and younger. It’s set on a seaside amusement pier, with the actors playing arcade games and going on rides. The performers, of course, represent a nice multicultural mix—I’m sure the money men don’t want to miss any marketing opportunities.
So Victoria Justice sings about her relationship with some guy, and how he cheats on her. The chorus goes like this:
and One day i’ll have you begging on your knees for me
yeah, One day i’ll have you crawling like a centipede
You mess with me?
And mess with her!
So I’ll make sure you get what you deserve
yeah, One day you’ll be begging on your knees for me
So my little niece, who a few hours earlier was angelic in her white Communion dress, was shaking her body and crawling on the floor as she sang along to Beggin’ On Your Knees.
She, of course, had no idea what the words meant. But the messages are there for anyone to see: Girls achieve success by attracting good-looking boyfriends. Good-looking boyfriends cheat on their girlfriends. When cheating happens, girls take revenge.
Gee—when I was my niece’s age, I watched Shirley Temple sing Animal Crackers in My Soup.
Cheerleaders
This isn’t the first time I was struck by the blatant sexual messages being communicated to young girls. A few months ago, friends were in Atlantic City to watch their daughter perform in a big cheerleading competition. They invited my husband and I to join them.
This girl is a senior in high school and has been cheerleading since she was young. Approximately 3,000 girls were participating in this competition, ranging from high school age to girls my niece’s age—or younger.
As I walked around Boardwalk Hall in Atlantic City, I could not believe my eyes. All of the girls, down to the youngest ones, were parading around in cheerleading costumes that featured off-the-shoulder tops, bare midriffs and extremely short skirts. They all wore heavy make-up. They were all being taught to strut, show what they’ve got, and smile.
Abusive dating
I, in the meantime, am preparing to talk to another group of high school students about Sociopaths and Abusive Dating Relationships.
Part of my message is that sociopaths use sex to trap their victims. If you’re lonely, you are vulnerable. And when you have sex, you form a psychological bond that makes it difficult to get away if the person turns out to be an abuser. This is how domestic violence starts.
Yet according to the constant bombardment of messages directed towards young girls, their success depends on how sexy they are, and whether they can attract a hot boyfriend. Any girl without a boyfriend, therefore, will feel lonely, and will be vulnerable to the abuse of a sociopath.
So how do I compete with overwhelming, lifelong marketing? How do I tell these high school students that sex may get them in trouble when they’ve been fed a steady diet of “sex sells” since they were little kids?
Girls are being brainwashed by marketers out to make a buck. I don’t even know how parents can protect their kids from the onslaught—they’d have to raise their daughters in a cocoon. As a result, so many little girls are probably ripe to become the next generation of victims of sociopaths.
It’s interesting that it’s the mothers that are promoting the objectification of their daughters….how many Dad’s do you think are involved in the beauty pageant mind set?
In China, when the foot binding of young girls was the norm, it was the mother’s that were expected to do it. This foot binding was a necissary evil, because, at that time, in that culture, the smaller a woman’s (deformed feet, the more beautifull she was, and the more marriagable. As adult women, these woman were essentially crippled, could hardly walk on their own and completely dependdant on their husbands.
these same women then were obliged to repeat this torture on their daughters.
Pageant mom’s are kind of doing the same things to their daughters. By objectifying them, putting such stress on beauty, endless pressure, and the fact that they are essentially fake, the message is, you aren’t good enough the way you are. Not to mention that a lot of the beautifying that is done is probably tortorious to a young child.
These mom’s are acting so Narcissistic. They are living vicriously through their daughters, and filling some need in themselves that arises out of deep insecurity, and probably a damaged sense of themselves. They most certainly have accepted the notions about womanhood, objectivization and beauty, themselves or why would they be engaging in this stuff?
I agree they are acting stupidly, and doing more to damage their daughters self-esteem than they can imagine, not to mention that they are perpetuation the objectification of women.
Kim,
Several times I have watched that TV show called (I think) Toddlers and Tiaras (again the spelling, where is spell check?). I have noticed a common theme, the mothers admit to lying to their husbands about the cost of the whole thing which is thousands of dollars. A few of the fathers do go along with the whole thing, but don’t seem to have a handle on what is really going on.
I agree, these Moms are fulfilling some kind of a selfish dream of their own, to heck with what the kids want. I don’t want to be cruel, but most of the Moms could not participate in any type of pageant where beauty is an issue.
Milo!!
It warms my heart that gray rock is having such positive effects. LOL! She thinks you’re depressed. hahahaahha!
Of course she has cancer, they all do, once or twice in their lives. they never die though. But you know there is usually a kernal of truth in their lies, and cervical cancer is a tell, I’ll bet she has genital warts from sleeping around. Spaths are the main cause of STD’s you know.
Sky ~ never thought of that one, sure is a good possibility, she did plenty of sleeping around and probably still is.
When she was pregnant with Grand I wondered if she would name him banana after the bunch…..
Again, I can’t thank you enough for gray rock.
Milo, she may indeedy have cervical cancer from HPV—and like 95% of sexually active people who have had 5 or more partners are + for it…but what has that got to do with YOU? Just like if my P son comes down with some disease what is that to me? Nada. I don’t “wish” it on him, but I am not going to be heart broken if he gets something…
You are not NC but not because you don’t want to me…just Legally obligated to have some contact with her.
Glad the boring gray rock is working….yea, they sure don’t know how to understand NO DRAMA…Hee hee
Sounds like the trip from hell—2,000 miles with an ADHD kid and an ADHD dog? LOL ROTFLMAO I think I would pay someone to NOT HAVE TO GO ON THAT TRIP! I’ve done several cross country trips with an ADHD kid in tow…nah, I’ll pass. Not my idea of fun any more.
Sorry about your husband’s A-fib, I’ll keep him in my prayers that the cardioversion works. Get him on a LOW SODIUM DIET as well…here’s my obligatory nursie coming out—and it is a pain to relearn to cook and read all the labels but I am getting the hang of it now and have my sodium down to 750 or less, sometimes as low as 500 mg per day. Look at the American Heart Association DASH diet, and they have some great cook books too….once your taste buds adjust and you use lots of NO SODIUM SPICES, and no sodium baking powder, and no sodium baking soda, you can make just about any food with very low or no sodium.
I’m kind of stuck right now, not losing more weight (eating too much after supper) but am keeping the sodium way down and feeling so much better! Got to get back on the weight loss track again though. Also, have your husband weigh himself each morning at the same time (nude) and keep up with the weight, if he is gaining 1-2 pounds a day or more it is probably water weight…your doctor can tell him how to adjust his medication if that is a problem. (((hugs)))) and yes, raising a 10 year old when you are a grandparent is a worrisome thing. (((hugs))) and my prayers.
Oxy ~
I had read about HPV causing cervical cancer and the risk factors for people like my daughter. She even said to me “almost all my friends have had this” That was certainly no shock with the croud she travels in…..
This is what I was talking about awhile ago, any love I had for her has died, or more acurately was KILLED, a slow and painful death. I almost couldn’t believe myself that I had absolutely no feelings about this news, true or false. The fact that the doctor didn’t even want to see her again for 3 to 4 months made me think it was probably precancerous cells. When she gave me the sob story about needing someone to watch the girl child while she was in for the proceedure, I suggested a neighbor. This is probably the only place I could even discuss such feelings without people thinking I am a cold hearted bitch.
Thanks for the good wishes for hubby. He really eats very little salt, almost no processed food. His problem is he found his version of the dream diet and has been on it for years. Low Carb, tons of red meat, fat included, pounds of cheese, eggs and butter……. I make him eat some veggies with it and try to sneak in fish whenever I can. It makes me sick just to watch him eat. His doctor is amazed, he keeps his weight under control and every six months his blood work looks good, so there is nothing I can do or say. He might look good on paper, but in person he is a train wreck healthwise.
Thanks again for the prayers.
Cheese is HIGH IN SALT, and I have had to give it up entirely. I eat meat, but mine is grass-fed, LOW FAT that I raise myself..I limit eggs though I raise them myself too…so your husband’s diet is exactly what he needs to not be eating….the butter is okay, I use a VERY LIMITED amount of real butter instead of the “fake” stuff…and no transfats at all…but you know it is his choice, to eat right and exercise or to die or become disabled. I got to that point, and I turned my diet around and now am totally doing well, balanced diet, blood sugar is okay and blood pressure is okay, cholesterol is pretty fair (without any medication for any of this) and eat enough oats to whinney, but have gotten to the point that food tastes good without all the salt.
I have to buy special NO SALT ADDED veggies and low salt breads and crackers….and make all my sauces from scratch so no prepared foods, ketchup, steak sauce, salad dressing, boxed dinners, cheese, etc. but doing okay anyway and enjoying the foods. I found all kinds of great substitute seasonings and ways to make dishes I love without all the salts. I even made my favorite “taco soup” which is loaded with salt, and it tastes almost the same and has NO salt except what little is in the meat. I even found no salt taco shells on the internet and ordered a case of them and they are great. I also make my own picante sauce and bean dip that is good and has NO added salt at all. Actually I am enjoying the challenge of replicating my favorite dishes without salt. I didn’t realize there are so many places you can get no salt things….so far the only trouble I am having is to travel. I ate out the other day and went to wendy’s and had a baked potato with sour cream and broccoli, and it wasn’t too bad….but so far I have been taking my own food and snacks to places away from home. Even made a low calorie low salt pineapple upside down cake for my son’s BD and everyone of his friends LOVED IT….and I could even have a piece.
Well, anyway….if he has A-fib the salt isn’t doing him any good for sure…but you can only lead a horse to water, you can’t make it drink! LOL
I understand your feelings about your X daughter too…I can’t mourn over someone who is already “dead” to me. I also understand you refusing to take care of the younger child…or getting attached to the child. YOu can only do so much and if you become attached to the child it is only heart break for you and there’s no way you can help the child really. A shame, but I DO understand and agree with you 110%. You must take care of yourself or you can’t take care of the kid you have NOW that you are trying to help. (((hugs)))
this has nothing to do with anything, except that laughter is healing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGeKSiCQkPw
Oxy ~ I never thought about the salt in the cheese. I just was thinking about what I cook with, almost none and he uses no salt and no processed foods. We raise our own beef, basically grass fed, just some grain to finish and chickens.
Good for you, it is hard to turn your eating habits around. It is hard to eat out, because I have used very little salt as seasoning for a long time, I notice how salty everything tastes in restaurants.
Oh well, just don’t take away my chocolate cake.
Yea, the low cal salad dressing is loaded with salt, pickles with salt, hot dogs, ham, bacon sausage etc. and cheese….even canned veggies unless they are labeled no added salt are chock full of salt.
I use the salt substitute for seasoning and they make many no-salt seasonings that are various flavors, greek, taco, mexican, italian and so on, so I make my own salsa and so forth…and I am getting much better at it.
Tonight we had salt free tacos with no salt tortilla chips/taco shells and home made salsa and it was really good….I ate 1600 calories today and 790 mg of sodium. That is half the recommended sodium for everyone, but for heart patients it should be lower. (About 500 mg) and you can still have a very good diet that tastes good.