Editor’s Note: This SPATH Tale was submitted by the Lovefraud reader who posts by the name “stronginthecity.”
I am currently in a relationship with a sociopath. I’ve been with him since June 2013. I was with him before. That relationship ended in 2006, leaving me jobless and depressed because he left the relationship abruptly and literally disappeared.
I am a medical professional, so I am the typical target I guess.
He resurfaced last year proclaiming his love for me and how much he missed me — giving three or four reasons, explanations why he left. I kept tabs on him through the years from time to time and found out he was in prison in 2009 for drug charges.
He is a constant liar and manipulator and we had a “chance” meeting in a drugstore parking lot where I had never been before in February 2013.
Again he disappeared then reappeared around May 2013. I saw him drive past my house many times. He never tried to contact me until June of 2013 when he got my phone number from a mutual friend.
I had just started dating again and was on a first date with a man when he called me. The calls were blocked and I didn’t listen to the messages until the next day.
He said that he was at a street festival and “why don’t you answer your phone” and “you should meet me”. I didn’t even know it was him. I had an idea but wasn’t sure.
A few weeks later, exactly the time I was leaving for work, he called again from a blocked number and I answered. It was him telling me he was working in my state, when he was really 2,000 miles away with his wife and children, saying he wanted to meet me for dinner. I agreed to meet him and before I knew it I was in deep again.
He actually did get divorced from his wife, but now the wife has moved to my area and things are again in the crazy stage. I have caught him in numerous lies and am certain he has cheated multiple times but I never actually caught him.
I have been back and forth trying to establish no contact but somehow I always end up back with him as he makes me believe the lies and sucks me into the drama. He loves me. I am the only one yet other women, who he claims are friends call his phone.
I also believe he has made copies of my house keys and comes into my house when I am at work.
He has not held down any steady job since June 2013, thank goodness I am full time employed but he knows my work schedule and keeps tabs on me. He tells me I am crazy when I question the nonsense. He lies about his whereabouts and actually gives me “clues” just to make me jealous. I am at wits end right now as he is trying to wiggle his way back into my life.
The last time I saw him was Halloween weekend, after an argument again about his whereabouts.
I need help to maintain no contact as he is texting me with the, “I’m a good guy story, I miss you” again. Of course we have an incredible sexual relationship and he swears he does not want anyone else, and has not been with another woman since June 2013.
My gut is telling me he is lying and I know I am right.
Unfortunately, I had a setback and saw him last weekend and during this week. Thank goodness he had a trip planned during our no contact and I am glad he is gone as I found myself making life plans with this man again.
He has been on his best behavior since I agreed to see him Saturday night. He spent the night Saturday and Sunday. He went to work Monday and Tuesday night and came over again making me dinner, flowers, my favorite wine and worked on my house. The whole nine yards. He left Thursday morning because he wanted to see his kids that he has not seen in over a year.
I am glad he is there as I need this time to regroup and make sense, crazy sense of this entire situation. I will continue to post and read on your Lovefraud because it’s so helpful to me. I know that I need to stay away from this man ”¦ he was talking about getting married again. He said lets write up a prenup and get married because he loves me, blah blah blah.
I DON’T TRUST HIM.
I left him alone in my home again. I need to end this once and for all.
Remember and KeepingOn,
I just woke up!
I stayed logged on to the webinar for the entire 3 hours and sat on my couch and cried as I held baby strong..
What she did was amazing.
I was wondering your thoughts.
I am going for it.
I fired my therapist because I KNEW that me sitting there in her office talking about HIM was not going to bring me to the next level.
I knew that there are childhood traumas to heal behind this but I did not know how to embrace little strong!
I was wondering of you ladies felt it?
I certainly did.
I love that she did not make it about being a victim and about what he did because I am so over that shit.
She talked about how this happened for a reason, and I am open and ready to do the work.
But it was not work.
You just have to be ready to receive it.
I wrote all over that paper in red pen!
I’m going to order, what have I to lose?
I am going to email Melanie to ask if the modules are her talking like she did in the webinar.
If anyone has ordered and willing to share your feedback I would love some input.
I want to get started today.
I’m ready!
Stronginthecity
Gaslit,
I wanted to let you know about the webinar.
It was passed along here.
http://www.melanietoniaevans.com
It was amazing.
knew that talk therapy was not going to help me move on to why I allowed the spath into my life in the first place.
You can sign up on her site, I believe the webinar was recorded.
It lasted 3 hours! It was amazing!
I was not ready before but I am now.
I read the ebook from letmereach.com called “How to Do No Contact Like a Boss” It’s like 4 bucks, a quick easy read and I was on my way.
I have no desire to contact him but I have gone back and forth for 2 years.
As a BH professional, you might have been taught conventional therapy techniques and Melanies approach is not talk therapy.
Take a look at her website and see if it’s for you.
If you are open and ready to understand why this person was allowed to open your wounds then look into it for sure.
Hope this helps.
I will no longer be a victim and my journey is not about the spath so I will no longer be talking about what he did to me.
He is insignificant because this is all about me, and things that I went about life going la la la, with my fingers in my ears, pushing down all of my emotional wounds from my childhood until I had a breakdown.
Hope this helps.
If you are ready ti make this about YOUR healing and not about him or trading war stories and making it about them then go for it!
XOXO,
Stronginthecity
Strong…. thanks so much for sharing this with me!
When I made my appointment with the therapist for next week, they asked me for an overview of what’s going on. I told them I need to figure out why I was the target of a sociopath and how I can restructure the way I’m thinking to make sure I don’t allow it again. I also want to feel trust again some day and right now I feel that’s impossible.
So I can definitely agree wholeheartedly with what you’re saying about it not being about him at this point… it’s about healing for US.
I’m totally with you!! Signing up for the webinar now. Thank you! 🙂
Gaslit,
You are welcome.
I am not against conventional therapy and had a wonderful therapist in the past.
This new one and I were just not on the same page.
I am researching Melanies techniques and there are many programs, books, radio shows etc out there but she has it all nicely packaged and I am kinda in the hurry up and heal me phase, lol(I am LAUGHING again) good sign.
I am pretty sure I will order the downloads, I saw many positive and some negative reviews on her material mostly based on the cost but for me, it’s 2 copays with a miss or miss therapist.
She offers a 30 day money back and I’m sure I could find what she offers for free online with youtube etc but I NEED it now!
I have to get back to work soon!
I’m glad you are signing up for the webinar, you will know if it’s for you or not.
Hugs!
SITC
I am going to go do some physical therapy for my back..it involves swimming!
Kitty… sorry you’re having a tough day. I feel for you. I go for a biopsy (ovary) on the 10th. It’s a scary feeling!
It’s definitely not your fault that he’s so horrible. That’s all on him. But they target certain people. We all rank high in certain qualities like loyalty, empathy, trust and tolerance, and they take advantage of people they see these characteristics in. For me, I want to learn why I’m so easy to read and how do I stop showing all of that. They are admirable traits, but they are also what makes us targets. It’s sad!!
Please take care, and it’s good to vent when you need to!!
Hugs to you 🙂
Gaslit,
I am praying that your ovary biopsy turns out to be nothing.
Do you mind me asking what they saw that warranted the bx?
Is this the first time you have had this?
Do you have a friend to go with you?
BTW great explanation for kitty about being a target.
It’s quite unbelievable.
Something good must come of this pain, right?
Double hugs and prayers,
SITC
Just curious, when is the next webinar coming up?
Gaslit,
I hope everything turns out ok with your biopsy.
That kinda stuff sucks huh?
Until then try to relax, breathe, and go easy…
Kittylover,
I’m hoping you are feeling better today.
Please try not to worry too much about the spotting, stress can throw off your entire cycle.
Meds can definitely throw things off balance.
Glad your doc is doing your hormone levels.
OB/GYN is one of the specialties I went back to school for in 2007.
I would say be concerned it you have dark heavy bleeding with clots.
I know it’s scary when you have abnormal bleeding.
You keep taking care of yourself.
Ask your doctor for a pelvic ultrasound (trans vaginally and on the belly) if your bleeding persists and your tests are normal.
It will give you piece of mind. If you never had one, it’s not painful at all.
Just don’t drink all of the water they tell you to because you mentioned you are thin and having an overfilled bladder will not produce a good scan.
Some places just do the trans vaginal and for that one you don’t have to drink water.
It depends on the protocol of the imaging facility.
Both ways will give you a good look at your uterus, endometrium and both ovaries.
Sorry your work was giving you a hard time.
Just mention FMLA and they most likely will stop giving you a hard time.
Look where me NOT taking care of myself got me..I have been off work on medical leave for going on my 5th week.
I did not take care of things and nearly had a nervous breakdown.
You can still listen to the webinar when you are ready.
I have the feeling that the webinar is done frequently.
Your dreams, girl! You are a very vivid dreamer. I am too.
That one sounds like a lot to take in.
Dreaming is actually good for you.
That sounds like a very telling dream.
Don’t over think it.
Your trust has been broken.
Even the most beautiful people physically can grow old and fat!
Try to picture him an old, bald and fat man.
Trouble is looks only go so far.
When you get a chance, the webinar will explain how important it is to take the focus off of them.
What they do is absurd to say the least.
Just remember that I wasted over SEVEN years of my precious life.
Something else that was said in the webinar was that it happened for a reason.
Listen in when you have a moment.
I am envious that you have the energy to be able to work and go to all of your appointments, court dates etc!!!
How are your therapy sessions going?
I had to fire mine!
Sitting on her couch and telling my story wasn’t cutting it for me.
We love you too Megan!
Oh, one more thing I found the ebook “How to do No Contact Like a Boss” it’s only a few dollars is really good.
It helped me tremendously. It’s on letmereach.com
Hugs,
Stronginthecity
Kitty,
How are yo doing?
Did you get your blood test results?
SITC
Kitty,
Yikes.
I am so sorry that you are in so much pain.
I can only imagine how you felt when you received that treasure of a text.
I wish I could provide you with the magic answer and take away all of your pain.
Let’s not forget that he is a sociopath, a narcissist..a CON MAN.
It’s what he does. From what I have read, their behavior only gets worse with age.
They get better at it.
Imagine how deeply troubled and insecure he is that he needs the woman de jour to take photos of herself to “prove” where she is when thats not even what it’s about.
To to spath he says look how important I am, I am big fireman, I can make these women take pictures and send them to me on command.
I am not trying to be funny or demeaning to you.
I truly understand your pain of how the hell do these people get away with this?
Who the hell do they think they are?
How can they say I love you and treat you so badly?
It’s mind blowing, right?
Sadly, this is not about us, truth…
they are not capable of loving anyone.
In fact they hate themselves so much that they resort to these measure to make THEM fell something, anything.
They are very skilled in what they do, so the fact this woman did not listen to your warning does not surprise me.
H
Have you done any reading about triangulation?
This is one of the tricks that almost all of them do.
The lying, well they just do.
They lie about everything and even believe their own lies.
He would tell you anything to keep you as a source of supply.
I’m sorry that you are going through this, he sounds like a horrible person.
Unfortunately he will NEVER change. EVER.
Please don’t try to contact this woman because he will feed off that shit like a vulture.
That’s what they live for.
I will be around for the evening.
Try to do something good for yourself.
You are angry and have every right to be but try to give the power back to you.
Don’t give him anymore.
Hang in there.
Double hugs,
Stronginthecity
Maybe listen to some of the webinar????
Kitty,
I also wanted to tell you to have your vitamin D3 levels and magnesium as well when you get your blood drawn.
When you are in a constant state of stress these vitamins get depleted and are crucial in your recovery.
Even though I am in the sun as much as I can, my D levels have been really low and I have to start supplements again…
I have been craving foods high in magnesium.
I have not had my magnesium checked yet, but I bet it’s low.
I have been craving hummus and avocados and I just did a check to see which foods are high and beans and avocados are both great sources.
Dark chocolate too!
I never had a sweet tooth before but I bought some dark chocolate the other day because my body was craving it!
XOXO,
SITC
Strong,
Hi! The psych/energy worker is great. I just need to get back in. She charges 40.00 but she said she’ll see me for 25.00 for sending her clients!
I work every other Monday now so when I have my 2 day weekend I don’t want to have to be anywhere..Lol.
I think I used to be mildly addicted to meditating hahaa, looking back I think I liked it and was an escape so I did it so much. Now since during and after the breakdown, i’m un motivated about doing it. It gave me good results so I don’t know what’s stopping me. It’s like I have to start all over again.
I am so happy you benefited from the program. Oh yea, it said the currency translates to US 87.00 for the silver plan.
As of now, i’m going to try really dedicate time each day to do some form of something healing.
I did decide that IF I get a sudden rush of emotions thinking about the betrayal, I will then do what Melanie said and drop down and identify the root of that pain/emotion!
Remember,
I totally get that on your 2 weekend that you want to stay home and chill.
It’s ice to know that you have that option to go if you want to, especially for 25.00, that’s awesome.
You will know when you need to go and you already have experience with the meditation.
I benefited tremendously from the program, thank you again for the info.
I have not ordered it yet.
I HAD to go swim, doctors orders!
The beach just happens to be right by the lake..
I had a nice swim. My arms are actually sore from yesterday.
Great for the triceps!.
I did have some thoughts today but like the clouds, they passed and I started thinking what do I have in my fridge at home! LOL
I stopped at the grocery store to get something to make for dinner and was browsing at the steaks…
I found 2 filet mignon’s that were accidentally marked and priced as ground beef!
Into my cart they went..
Yummy. I made them with some shiitake and portabellas, broccoli and a baked potato with extra sour cream!
Finding the steaks marked 3 dollars and some change was my gift!.
I received it!
Hugs to you.
Feelin better everyday!
Stronginthecity
Strong,
I hope you are having a well day today!!
I tried 2 meditations last night, still not there yet. Lol
I am though SOOO happy that his cousin is gone!!!!!
More freedom from darkness!!!!
Hey friends,
I need help. I’m a little scared. Any suggestions on what to do when being followed by a car while on foot for almost a mile? Because ya, that just happened! Longest walk of my life.
I’ve prepared to handle so many situations…THAT was not one of them. It was a little terrifying. Still can’t feel my hands or feet. I’m safe now.
I left a message for my therapist so we can saftey plan this. But truly, if that happens again what do I do? Call the cops? Didn’t want to stop walking.
For all I know it was a different creeper. The car even stopped behind me and honked once.
What the hell??
KeepingOn,
Yikes. How scary.
If there are storefronts or a place to go in thats safe, get the plate number and make/model of the car and yes I would call the police.
If you are walking in a residential/place with no place to go into try to note the plate number.
Try to walk a different way and call police when you are safe, always carry your phone when you are alone walking.
We have to.
It may have been a creepy dude, not related yo your spath that thought you were cute but still creepy.
Did you get a chance to see who was in the car or note what type of car it was?
SITC
Remembertoforgt,
Hi there.
I waited all day yesterday for this back doctors office to return my call regarding my MRI result.
The wizard doctor called Tuesday but he said that he could not leave results on my voice mail and that I should call back to talk to his PA, well I have been waiting since Tuesday and still no call.
I called again this morning and asked again when I might receive a call and maybe later this afternoon, but don’t expect it. WTF. I am trying really hard not to be annoyed but I am sitting here in pain and want to know whats going on…AHHHH
Anyway, how are you doing?
Yes, the cousin being gone must be a relief.
I stopped in a health food store yesterday right by my house to see if they had that magazine you were talking about and the woman who creep ed out of the back room looked at me like I was crazy when I asked for the magazine or if she had any natural healer recommendations.
She mumbled something and I said ok, thank you!
Really trying to work on the not getting so annoyed with people.
Anyway there was a Chinese restaurant next door that I got a delicious papaya/blueberry smoothie!
It was delicious. Fresh fruit and crushed ice 3.25 what a bargain.
I went to go swim but it was so late the sun was clouded and the water was too cold so I didnt stay too long.
I did get an elote at the beach, someone set up a pop up stand.Soooo good.
I still did not order Melanies program.
IDK something is holding me bak and it’s not the 80.00.
I filled out the entire order form on line yesterday but then stopped.
I don’t know why.
Maybe I am afraid to “go there” but I have to.
I checked out the meditations on you tube that you recommended and they were very good.
Thanks again.
I found my self feeling angry yesterday.
I did think about some of the crap he pulled/I let him get away with.
Put me in a funk, I hate it.
I feel more motivated today.
Sorry to blab on and on, but I don’t have anyone to talk to.
My daughter is dealing with her dying father and my sister does not get it, even though she went through the same type of relationship.
She thinks that just because the guy who proposed to her after dating for 2 months, locked her in a hotel room in Mexico and held her hostage because she had the gall to ask him about the wedding and he screamed at her that “I am top dag, I make the decisions and we will talk about it when I say so” she threw the ring at him in a restaurant and then he locked her in the hotel for at least 3 days…she was down to 90lbs when she was with him and the mind fucks were crazy, but because he was a professional and not a construction worker it wasn’t the same.
Ok, sis.
I sent her a link to the webinar with an email telling her what I was going through and telling her that I love her(we are so much alike)and that is was ok if she did not reply.
I know she still thinks about him and she has admitted that she still wants to contact him and it’s been about 10 years.
Ok, done rambling!
I have to make some plans for the weekend, or I will feel yucky.
SITC
Remember,
I want to look for a psych/energy worker in my area. If I can see someone for 40.00 I would go.
Should I Google just that? Energy healer or is there a specific term I should use?
I told you I have zero clue about any of this, but since my body is hypersensitive and I like Kittylover am a vivid dreamer.
I am open to it and think I would benefit from it greatly.
I think I’m still going to order Melanie’s silver thing if I can get it for about 80.00.
Any info would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks again.
SITC
Strong,
Wow! What a bargain, and what a dinner! Lol, i’m eating a turkey burger hahaa.
I feel so happy that she’s gone! I wondered how I would feel had she ever moved.
I am sooo glad you got something good out of the seminar. I did too, I know what I gotta do.
Hey don’t forget in the meantime there are some beautiful meditations on youtube. I tried to post one here but the link wasn’t clickable. I copied and pasted it.
Anyways, one channel there you can check out is “the honest guys”. They have a beautiful inner child meditation. It’s wonderful.
HUGS to the lake, the beach, the steaks, the meditation, and no mo cousin!
And hugs to all of us!!!
Remembertoforget!
Perfect!
Thanks for the info.
I just messaged you about finding a healer near me….
Sounds funny!
Thanks, that will get me started right away.
I’m tellin ya, when she had talked about taking your child self and wrapping your arms around her my entire body lit up, no shit!
It was so incredible.
Then the container and the tornado to whisk it all away.
Yes, my dinner was yummy!
All for me!
I am trying to eat as healthy as I can and do away with the unhealthy.
Waiting for this stupid doctors office to call me back about my MRI…
Errrrrr
Thanks again!
SITC
Strong,
I found her by word of mouth. She is listed as a psychologist. Lol, what you could do is visit any possibly local metaphysical stores and see if they do a reiki group..the person who leads the circle usually is, but they too can be expensive.
Another resource is, if you have a Whole Foods store, they carry a free monthly magazine on the rack by the door called natural awakenings- it has all those kinds of people’s ads listed throughout it.
If not- good ol google.
Check out a crystal or metaphysical/gift store though, they are usually a great resource!!!!!!!!!!
Remembertoforget,
Thanks for that info!
I do have a Whole Foods nearby.
I will go there tomorrow.
Natural awakening..hmm sounds perfect.
As for the cousin that moved away, that must such a relief for you.
You mentioned that he really didn’t see the cousin but could be a perfect excuse for him to do some hoovering.
SITC
KeepingOn,
Thank you for the kind words.
I do feel blessed.
I try my best everyday to think of the good things in my life.
It could certainly be much worse.
I went yesterday to get my MRI at a large hospital in my city.
I used to work in that area.
I saw people in wheelchairs and was grateful that I have legs, I have feet. I can walk.
I have pain but am hopeful that I will get that managed and just move on.
I have that “everything will be ok feeling”.
I am so grateful to have all the caring wonderful people here that take time to reply and give me links, advice and most importantly understanding.
That dream you had must have felt very empowering!
I am very excited to have another outlet to help me with my issues that have been a long time coming.
I always knew that my childhood things were holding me back and as Melanie said that maybe someday(not in person or any other means) thank him for taking it to this level of immediate attention.
I am also working on my own negativity and judgement of others.
This has been a problem for me for a long time.
The stalking is something that crosses my mind every now and then but it passes quickly, like a moving cloud.
The thoughts come and then they go.
The release I felt last night was very real.
I look forward to doing much more work in this area.
Keep those positive empowering dreams coming.
It’s amazing how these dreams(sometimes nightmares)help us.
The brain is fascinating.
XOXO,
Stronginthecity
KeepingOn,
Woah! Were you able to get a look at the person?
All I can come up with is;
Try to get a tag# but if they are behind you, you can’t.
Carry mase
Maybe veer off and walk up to someones house where a light is on, like that’s where you’re going.
Don’t walk alone at night!!!
Whew!
Uggh.
Remember,
The sun was still going down where I live. I don’t walk alone in the dark. There were still some people out here and there, thank goodness!
I only turned around a few times. Didn’t get a good look. Then the car would finally stop creeping and turn at cross streets in the opposite direction, then circle by again and creep. So I never got to see the plates.
I have mase and a tazer. I just worry about using things that can be used against me! I’m trained in self defense, but still!! I chose not to get on my phone because I felt it’d be safer to keep walking. I considered going to a house but it feels so weird. Knock, knock, “um…I’m being followed.” Guess better safe than sorry? See…there goes that ego again!
I remember now, scream if something happens. Not “help” but “FIRE”.
KO,
Even if you walk up to the house but don’t knock just to fool them.
Or yea, FIRE!!!
Remember,
I wrote you back but it didn’t go through. The fake out is a great idea!
I just hate not knowing who it was. I look at the amount of time it took more than anything. I mean, I run 10 minute miles, so you have to think walking takes much longer…so we’re looking at a good 15-20 minutes. That’s a lengthy amount of time for just a creeper. And they were parked on my street when I left for my walk. Weird.
Whatever. It is what it is. As long as I’m prepared for a possible next time.
KeepingOn, You may want to consider notifying the police if it happens again. I know as women we always hesitate to do that because we don’t want to appear foolish. However, it would be to your benefit to have it documented. Also, do you have neighbors you are close to? Alert them that you are concerned and have they noticed anything? I told my neighbors (one who is a cop) that they should no longer see my ex’s car in my driveway.
Also, you might want to take your phone with you on your next run.
THe fact that the idiot stopped and honked might indicated he/she is trying to scare you than actually do harm. Otherwise, he/she wouldn’t risk calling attention to themselves.
Are you able to vary the route and time of day you take your run?
Please be safe!
I’m sorry you have to go through this
Amille, Strong and Remember,
Amille – I was out for a walk, was just trying to calculate how long the person followed me because walking takes so much longer than walking. Too bad I was wearing flipflops! I’ve been thoughtful about my runs. Just not the walking!
I talked to my therapist and she said to try and take a picture of the plate next time so I can call the police and give them the number.
She thought it was good I changed my route home. The person stopped a few blocks from my house. Do creepy.
I definitely think they were trying to scare me. It could’ve been any creeper but it’s still a little unsettling.
It just sucks that I have to consider these things in the first place. I’m not nearly as bothered by this type of stuff like I was before. I try to balance, come up with better plans, focus on me and take steps to move forward. I’m safe and that’s what matters.
Thank you for your comments and guidance!
KeepingOn,
Has this ever happened before?
Defiantly either try to get a picture of keep a sharpie marker and write it on your hand.
You can keep the sharpie on a string or something around your neck so you can just grab it without fumbling around with your phone.
Just a thought.
Change the time of day and route for sure.
If this person has been stalking you they know your routine.
Mine was a stalker.
Get a small key chain pepper spray.
You can get this anywhere like a gas station or hardware store.
Try to note make/model of the car.
Check your local paper to see if there have been any recent reports of this.
Defiantly file a police report.
Insist on it.
Please be careful…
SITC
Strong,
I’ve experienced a fair share of stalking now, to put it lightly. I haven’t encountered this before. I got a good look at the car but not the person. I turned around some but was too scared to stop and take a good look. They would turn off and circle back around so I only saw the front and the side when they passed intersections.
I have spray I’ll start carrying. I’m not sure about the police. Haven’t had the best experiences through all of this. Good call to look for recent reports!
Sorry about you’re stalking stuff. It’s not a great feeling. It’s easier to manage over time though. I feel like we’re both in a better place with it.
KeepingOn,
Try to get the plate #, even if you don’t file a report now.
Stalkers have been known to use other cars too so just be aware.
Doing these things like keeping the sharpie marker and pepper spray puts you in control.
Write this all down.
Just short notes about dates and times.
Don’t give power to the person who is doing this.
We know they want that control.
Take that control back and don’t let them stop you from walking, running or whatever you need to do to feel better.
I am listening to the webinar again.
She is doing YouTube videos now.
I think I am going to order the modules today.
Got the MRI results today and not as bad as I thought.
Have to get some injections…ugh.
Anyway, please be safe.
Whoever is doing this following you is not normal.
Is there maybe an advocate at your local police station to help if this continues?
How close to your home were you when this happened?
SITC
Strong,
Good that your results came back better than expected! Will the injections be ongoing?
I’ll have to check out Melanie’s youtube videos. I really like her philosophy. I can’t wait to here about her program once you get started!
I was going for an evening walk by my house. The car pulled up at the end of my block and stopped. It took me over a block to realize it was creeping behind me intentionally. I thought about going back but figured if it was a stranger I didn’t want them to know where I live. I was scared and not thinking too clearly so I continued on my walk and kept changing routes. It finally went away a few blocks from my house.
I’ve documented it. Wish I had handled it differently but I know better if it happens again.
KeepingOn,
IDK about the injections.
I have to find the right doctor asap.
I don’t trust too many right now, most of all doctors putting needles in my spine!
I hope it’s a one time thing.
I finally bit the bullet and ordered the silver package.
I just downloaded the modules..they are MP3’s..
Did not know that!
30 day money back if I don’t think it’s helping but I think it will.
KO, you handled it the way you did!
Who in the world would expect this to happen?
You called your therapist and just being aware is all you can do.
Take that power back!
I am listening to the intro from Mel..she said have iron, vit D(which mine is way low) magnesium(double the regular amount)checked and hots of water.
Hugs,
SITC
Strong,
You bought the silver package, yay!!! I didn’t think it’d be mp3s either, but it makes sense.
As for the injections…I’m not scared of needles but the thought of one going in your spine. Yikes. Do you get to chose your doc? I feel like you’d be good if you got to chose (like with your therapist), especially because of your experiences with doctors.
So I think I may have played a little bit too much with fire this evening. I met up with a friend and felt like testing this whole car/stalking thing. I wad feeling slightly bitter and curious. So I go out for a walk…
I took a slightly different route. My walk was peaceful for a while so I thought all was good. And then I see straight ahead the car drive past the block I was on. I thought “oh shit, there’s the car.” At that point I didn’t know for sure. So I get to the end of the block and to the left of me a block down is the car sitting at a stop sign. I stopped for a while and after a minute took out my phone to see if I could get a pic. As soon as I raised my phone the car turned the corner. It was sitting there for a good few minutes.
Coincidence? It looked like the same car (not just your average car) and it sat there for way too long. I want to this to be in my mind. I want to tell the police but I don’t even known the model of the car…
I was hoping last night was random. I’m wondering if I’m thinking too much into it?
Strong,
I ended up calling the police and they sent an officer over. He took a statement and was very nice. They’re looking into if this has been happening in the neighborhood in general. I told him about some other incidences, including some stuff that had happened in the past few weeks. He took note and told me that I NEED to call them!
I’ve told him about being discounted by the police in the past. He says he’s on duty in the neighborhood a lot and that if my address comes up he’ll personally respond and asked if that was OK with me. He seemed like a good one. Who knows. And of course he encouraged a RO. I told him I didn’t feel safe doing that. He tried to convince me otherwise but my gut knows better. Not to mention how complicated the stalking is. Not even a cop would believe how far he’s gone!
Sorry, I’m rambling. I can’t believe this is what has become of my life. Not poor me but,really? No one should have to go through this crap.
KeepingOn, good for you!
And trusting you inner voice above everything else.
I greatly admire your strength. I hope to get there some day.
KepingOn,
I am so glad you called the police!
You never know…
Do you think it was him?
If not try to get that plate #.
Just write it down or remember certain letters and numbers.
Whoever is doing this needs to be caught.
Take that power back and find your inner detective!
Next time you walk, phone…check.sharpie or good pen to write plate #’s check..if you carry your keys put them between your fingers and this becomes a weapon.
If you see that damn car again, safely write down details…color, type..2 door four door, import or American car. Large small. try try try to get plate # .
I saw your message last night…
Crazy night.
I was trying to do the module 1 and follow the instructions.
Hint, the entire program is basically the shift she did in the webinar and I had such a large shift at the webinar that I wasn’t feeling it as much as I did in the webinar.
Of course the modules are soooo long and my mind was wandering. Before I knew it was so late and I made the mistake of looking at my phone and I saw the spath tried to call 3 times(blocked).
It was so late and I was having trouble falling asleep.
I finally drifted off after 1am and I woke up and immediately did a youtube meditation.
(I can see how these become addicting).
I found one about healing your inner child and I found a happy little strong that I forgot about.
We were on a vacation at my grandparents vacation house.
My favorite happy place.
I found little strong playing at the beach in the sand and played and made sand castles with her.
I asked her if she was happy and she said yes, I asked if I could play with her and she said yes. I asked her if she wanted to come with me and she said no she wanted to go swim in the lake…OMG I am crying out loud right now, my cats ate looking at me, I laugh and am telling them I am ok.
I just realized this as I am writing this..
I had forgotten about how much I loved the beach and swimming in the lake as a little girl.
My mother always freaked when we went to the beach because we tracked sand everywhere.
This is why I was always so happy when I went on beach vacations and why I have been swimming in the lake and going to the beach…
I am so sorry.
I am totally rambling but I am having a big breakthrough right now.
I want to call my sister!
KO, get that plate #
XOXO,
Stronginthecity!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amille,
Thank you for your kind words. I’m not feeling so strong today. I’m a hot mess. Working on lifting my spirits though. This stalking stuff can wear on the soul sometimes!
Like Strong said, you’ll get there! You’re already on your way…it gets easier. Even though I’m a hot mess now I might not be by tonight. I couldn’t say that a few months ago. And for the first time in my life I’m able to listen to myself and follow through.
Strong,
Your inner child loves to swim and you’ve been honoring that!! Haha, I love it! 🙂
Thanks for the stalking tips. At first I questioned if it is my ex. Doesn’t seem like his style. I talked to my therapist today. She believes it’s him…because I’ve stuck to NC and he can’t access me easily. Not his style to follow, but what would be his style is hiring someone or putting a friend up to following me.
There’s a possibility that I scared the person away with my phone when I raised it to take a pic. I didn’t get one buy they don’t know that!
I may be a mess today but I’m changing the script and taking my power back! I’m not going to hide anymore. I’m going keep on moving forward, live happy, and enjoy me. This stalking is only a reminder that I am free of a relationship with him
KeepingOn,
Yes I get to choose the doctor…
I was working with a pain specialist before and he told me about a year ago these injections would work for me. I’ll think about it over the weekend.
I may go with him since he already knows my history…
How are you doing?
Have you seen the car again.
I imagine this is triggering you.
Just assume it’s him…
Are you feeling better that the police were responsive?
Any info if there have been other reports?
Did you get the officers card and contact info?
You said it’s not his style but that now that you have been no contact, who knows what they are capable of, right?
I am getting an off feeling myself but I am going to work really hard not to let the thought that he might be here(the street fest that he called me from 2 years ago is this weekend)undo all I have accomplished.
Hopefully his puppets will be around to listen to his stupid stories and feed his ego.
I’m just going to keep on the down low.
I have no desire to take his calls.
Stay safe!
SITC
Strong,
I hate that “off” feeling. You’ve come a far way with not speaking to your ex. At some point you may want to consider taking off the caller ID and keep him blocked so you can’t see when he calls. Or think about changing his number….when you’re ready. Even though you’re handling it well, you’d be taking your power back by not even being able to see if he calls.
I think the pain specialist is a good call. Especially because it sounds like you already have a relationship.
I’m having a really hard time today. Numb, shaky, etc. I did get the officers info. I haven’t heard anything from him and don’t really expect to. I’m glad I had a good police experience but it doesn’t give me too much comfort.
I had a slap myself on the head moment today. Last night I went outside to wait for the police and there was a car parked out front of a neighbors house that seemed identical to the car. I took note of the car because I thought it would be helpful in figuring out what car has been following me. I assumed the car was a neighbors.
Then it hit me! I’ve never seen a car like that parked out front. It never occurred to me that the person would be brave enough to park out front of my house! It seemed similar to the car because it was the car! And it was there when the police showed up. What was I thinking?! My brain and body feels so diaconnected, it’s no wonder I didn’t put that together…ugh, thanks PTSD.
How was the beach today? Happy Friday!
KeepingOn,
Are you ok?
SITC
Strong,
for some reason I cannot reply to your last post to me.
anyway…. in response to it….
truth is…. I AM NOT IN PAIN.
I rarely think of this pathetic loser. The hardest part has been FORGIVING MYSELF…. for not following me gut on him…
EVERY SINGLE THING I ever confronted him with…. all the things the low life denied? every single one for a year WAS TRUE!
Damn I am intuitive and smart…
but I wish I had protected myself. Letting someone into my new little life…. on my own.. my body… spirit.. and then… thinking he was genuine… my little bit of finances. lesson learned.
so every single thing… even just psychic stuff with which I would confront the wacko…. was true….
and all…. ALL THE OF THE CRAZY STUFF HE ACCUSED ME OF…
NONE OF IT WAS TRUE.
I never lied to him. Never strayed. Never cheated.
I respected him… though he did not deserve it.
I forgave him… though… I should have also have ran my second week knowing him…
I nurtured him. Supported him.
Took care of him… when I should have said… go to Mommy big guy…. or another one of your pathetic, brainwashed, weak minions.
Let them take care of your sorry existence.
so….. I am a kind and nurturing woman…
but now…. I nurture myself… and only allow folks in my life who want to do the same.
I applied for a job… out west… back in beautiful Arizona… where I once went to college.
I just received an email… they are interested.
the only reason I would not go is b/c of the amazing musician with whom I am now working….
and…
there is someone I love here…. where I am.. very much. and in a healthy, mature way.
probably the most beautiful man and person I have ever met.
and….. another agency called and wants to meet with me…. 😉
Kitty,
That was a beautiful post.
It sounds like you are feeling much better.
Yes the betrayal of the kind gentle you is hard to overcome but you will get there.
Believe me, this interaction with this man happened for a reason.
After you move on, you will know why.
The beautiful loving, caring and trusting is what they want to steal from us.
They don’t have it, sucks to be them.
We have it,and we will never ever let someone like this into our beautiful world again.
They are emotional train wrecks stuck in a 3 year old body.
It’s go great that you have options.
Let it play out.
Enjoy your life, be happy.
XOXO,
Stronginthecity