Before you figure out that you’re involved with a sociopath, your dominant state of mind in the relationship is confusion.
There are times when he (or she) is the most charming person on Earth. But he has been lying to you for so long that you don’t know what is true and what is false. One day he says the two of you are soul mates, the next day he beats you. You’re walking around on eggshells, never sure when a minor issue will send him into a rage.
Nothing makes any sense—until you realize that you’re dealing with a sociopath. Then suddenly, like a bright light coming on in a dark room, it all makes sense.
But now, if you’re still involved with the predator, you have to decide what to do. People who have been targeted—including me—give this basic advice: Get him out of your life.
Unfortunately, this can be tricky. He may have left you financially destitute. When you leave, he could come after you—with a smear campaign or violence. If there are children, the sociopath can act like responsible a parent in family court—so he wins the right to continue torturing you through the kids.
I’ve just added a section to Lovefraud.com called “Leaving the sociopath.” It’s a summary of tips and advice on how to get out and move on. It’s based on my experience and the experience of others who have been through it.
I am especially grateful to the members of MSN Psychopath, an online support group. Several have contributed their insights, and I’ve linked to some of their many resource documents.
Once you realize you’re involved with a sociopath, you must do something about it. They will not change. I hope “Leaving the sociopath” is helpful.