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Highly Sensitive People are perfect targets for sociopaths

Hispanic Nurse in a hospital or office setting

Editor’s note: Lovefraud received the following email from a reader who posts as “emotionallyraped.”

I visualize a spectrum for ‘living beings’ on an emotional scale ”¦”¦ from the HSP (highly sensitive people) at one extreme, to sociopaths at the other extreme.

I’ve taken excerpts from some reading online.

———–

The personality trait highly sensitive people, which was first researched by Elaine N. Aron, Ph.D., in the early 1990s, is relatively common, with as many as one in five people, or 20% of the population, possessing it. (Taken from Huffington post)

Psychologist Martha Stout — who was a clinical instructor in psychiatry at Harvard Medical School for 25 years — estimates in her book The Sociopath Next Door that as many as 4% of the population are conscienceless sociopaths who have no empathy or affectionate feelings for humans or animals. (Taken from Washington’s Blog)

————

With that read, I think that the 4% feed on the 20% quite abundantly and efficiently.

It’s the snake eating its tail. The tail sustains the snake’s life.

If you are a Highly Sensitive Person, you are the easiest prey for a sociopath. You would also have more intense emotions from the experience and would be more susceptible to PTSD after a sociopathic encounter than the average person.

Just one HSP’s observation ”¦

Are you a Highly Sensitive Person?  Read about HSP:

16 Habits of highly sensitive people, on Huffpost.com.

Signed: Emotionallyraped

 


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43 Comments on "Highly Sensitive People are perfect targets for sociopaths"

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I too am a hsp…and married and trying to recover from being married to a sociopath. I firmly believe they are attracted to us because we have what they lack to the nth degree…an opposites attract scenario. And I think being the extremely intuitive kind that we are, perhaps we can on a certain level sense their lack…and for a lack of better words here, want desperately to understand them, and please them. All of which are impossible.

I too am a HSP as well as an empath, meaning I feel others physical and emotional pain.I believe it is about empowering ourselves so we are no longer drawn to narcissistic and psychopathic behavior. I am no longer a narcissist/psychopath magnet having only attracted them as friends all my life since childhood.As an empath and very caring person who used to only focus on the good in people I became a magnet for them. I had low self-worth and despite speaking up would let them get away with crossing my boundaries so I had what they were looking for.
Thanks to EFT and Matrix Reimprinting I have totally transformed and am now repelled by them and their behaviour and able to set strong boundaries and enforce them.I no longer attract them into my life. The above techniques have been described as one of the most dynamic healing tools of this century and have transformed my entire life and belief system.
I feel so grateful to them because I have healed my past as a result and learned so much about how they behave and now help others all round the world with these techniques. My clients say no other therapist has understood them like I do and that is because I couldn’t have understood narcissism and psychopathic behavior just by studying it, I had to experience it. I am now free of my co-dependent behavior addiction.It is possible to be sensitive, empowered and strong. Life feels amazing now and just gets better and better after a life time of suffering.
I will write a longer article for Lovefraud soon.
I work with clients all round the world on Skype and offer free 20 minute no obligation Skype, phone or one to one consultations. My e-mail address is [email protected]

Love and hugs to you all xx

In my experience, FWIW, I have found that intuitive people who are not clued in to, or do not accept, their intuitive abilities, are the most vulnerable. One reason for this is the family of origin may have subtly criticized that person for being “too sensitive” rather than acknowledging and supporting those gifts. This can be a subtle or overt invalidating environment. It can also occur within the school or peer group. After some time of this, the intuitive person develops “coping mechanisms” rather than embracing their gift and letting it shine, rather than making use of it.

So one day that intuitive person grows up and has learned to ignore the red flags — which their intuitive gifts would absolutely allow them to perceive, and this would be protective. But a person who has their heart on their sleeve, without realizing their unusual intuitive ability, even (yes) eventually one day thinking of themselves as a “highly sensitive person HSP” which is still a kind of victim, rather than — a GIFTED INTUITIVE who has all the power that comes with that — well, this person (the unaware gifted intuitive) is very vulnerable to being manipulated by a psychopath/sociopath! On the other hand, an intuitive person who knows who and what they are and embraces that and “uses their power for good” — NOT vulnerable.

Generally speaking, I would offer that sociopathic types of people are indeed lacking the element we frequently refer to as empathy, whereas the “gifted intuitive” is HIGHLY empathetic. This is the difference, the most vulnerable point. Combine that with the sociopath’s cognitive distortions in some cases, or flat out manipulative lying in other cases, and you have a recipe for becoming “prey.”

I would suggest that if we as a society can begin to nurture the intuitive gifts (at least acknowledge their existence along a spectrum, not as anything abnormal but as precious gifts!) that a minority of people possess, that would be all the armor the “HSP” needs. We would recognize the red flags for what they are, and say “I see what you are doing there — no thanks, nice try.” and watch them slink away.

20years – great observation. And yes, I do wish that we as a society would be more supportive our our intuitive abilities. Yes, some people are more intuitive than others, but we all have an internal warning system, and it is the best defense against sociopaths.

But this “internal warning system” often gets broken together with the trust and faith we had in our sociopath. We then end up questioning our internal warning system as it was so wrong once. We can thereby end up trusting no one as our internal warning system so badly failed us once. How do we regain our warning system…that is the question.

Oh my Gosh. When I read this I almost fell over. I am definitely a HSP, I was diagnosed by my Immunologist/Allergist many years ago. My entire body has been disrupted by tragic loss of family members and I haven’t been the same since. The lingering pain still exisits and it comes out in ways of rashes, anxiety, nausea, etc. There’s not a whole lot I can do but live with it and try my best to change the way I perceive things, and my thinking. The mind, in my opinnion, is extremely powerful and can be altered with the utmost strength one can find within themselves. If I wake up and push myself to be positive, and believe me I feel awful, I can turn my whole day around. I know this sounds silly, but I’ve lived more than what most have, and because of this, I have nothing left except for the power of changing the way I think.
In the interim, I have came across not 1, but 3, sociopaths in my life. And they came at a time where I was most vulnerable. I’ve learned an enormous amount over the years, and it’s blown away the way I thought or originally thought, a sociopath’s behavior is to be perdicted. They’re so many attitributes these people have, and it’s almost impossible to see or pick up in the beginning.
I have now seen all the correlations that psychopathy or people with personality disorders have and it’s helped me out tremendously.
I unfortuantely do not see life the way I once saw, and honestly I am not the same person, but I am much more aware and am in a better place in order to protect myself from harm.
I went through hell and back. I’ve seen the satan eyes, I’ve been abused, I’ve been mentally hurt, etc. And this all stems from being a HSP. When we are at our most vulnerableness, (Sp?) we are a jackpot to a sociopath.
This article really solidifies a lot that I thought existed.
Many of my friends think I am nuts, but I know with out a doubt, I am a target and I know that I can now spot a sociopath with also my gift… Everyone, just use your mind! Listen…and don’t ignore warning signs. It’s so easy to make up excuses in our minds.
Love Fraud, thank you for posting!

Sensitivity and empathy are very different animals.

A Narcissist or person with Borderline Personality Disorder can be highly sensitive, about their personal condition. In fact, what causes rifts with people who are Borderlines is that they are so super-sensitive, the tiniest perceived slight can send them into a tailspin they may never overcome. What distinguishes them from their victim is that they lack emotional empathy, the ability to put oneself in the shoes of the other person. There is no emotional middle ground for them. There is no balancing priorities, no “let’s agree to disagree.” It’s their way or the highway.

People with high levels of emotional empathy will be forgiving and receptive to harm by another. And if the person is also highly sensitive, they will feel even greater devastation as a result of their losses. the combination of being empathetic and sensitive is what puts people at great risk of falling prey to a sociopath.

Joyce

I agree with you, Joyce. Labeling people “HSP” unfortunately doesn’t designate the difference empathy or lack thereof can make. Borderlines are very sensitive, and what I have observed is that they can be very empathetic to animals, but not to their fellow men. Several borderlines I know, are very active in animal rescue, for example.

You make an important observation that a person can be highly empathetic without also being highly “sensitive” —

“Taking offense easily” or “being easily hurt” has to do with taking things personally, which aren’t. It is a sort of arrested development. For an empathetic but highly sensitive person, it is possible to evolve out of this level of reactivity.

this is super interesting!…Years ago I took a personality test…They told me I was an INFJ…..I for intuitive…which I did kind of know….F for Feeling…….they should have given instructions (as I think I was 24 years old)…that I would be the perfect target for a Spath !!!!…I would have thought that my intuition would have saved me at the beginning….but I did not have enough experience trusting my intuition….there were definite times when I felt uncomfortable and got away from bad situations!…but I think I questioned my intuition and talked myself out of listening …until later when I would look back…part of me did not want it to be true…and wanted all the good things ….but the bad was just completely unacceptable….I would like to do… whatever… to not be a magnet to such people!!!!…What do I need to do?

Grace-

Simply put… the trick is to learn from your mistake.

We often see people say that you can avoid falling prey by trusting your instincts. Unfortunately, for emotionally intact people, that’s only true the second time around. Even then, sociopaths can be very crafty and wangle their way into your acceptance. But there’s a good chance you’ll be able to figure it out sooner than your first episode.

The problem with “trust your instincts,” is that many of us instinctualy trust. It’s a natural social reaction. It isn’t until we’ve fallen prey that we begin to recognize that sociopaths exist. And only then can we be wary of them.

So don’t be hard on yourself. Your instincts were perfectly intact. Now, you need to recognize that your natural instinct to trust can put you in harm’s way and that you need to be less trusting.

Joyce

Grace and Jm I saw a movie called The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo. Interesting plot and sub plots throughout. Toward the end the pleasant, cooperative, friendly, and charming mask was removed. The predators comments really speak to this conversation that you are having here. He pointed out that even though his victim had figured it out, that he (the victim) knew that he was in danger, that he still accepted the offer to come inside for a drink. He said something like – they always do, or – it always works. Of course he is right. Yes, I’m aware he is a fictional character. 😊 Unless we can learn to train and then trust our instincts enough to overcome the strangely powerful social pressures, we will continue to be vulnerable to the subtle tactics of social predators.

Hi Grace,
INFJ here also. Bet there are a lot of us using lovefraud.
Thought I would share direction reading your post took me in. Found the comments section also interesting although do not understand completely some of the terminology.
https://whichmbtitype.wordpress.com/2012/05/04/which-mbti-type-is-most-likely-to-be-a-psychopath/

thanks for sharing that….some of it was unclear what they were saying in the comments but…I am finding this info so interesting…eye opening….the “feeling” part of me steps back and really feels bad for the SP I was involved with…It has to be a crazy way to live…he must have an emptiness at times… but the whole way he sees life and people daily victories over people and getting what he wants by manipulating…and smooth talking….it must be exhausting keeping his stories straight…lying to cover lies….I feel sad for that…I think I still believe that he has a choice as much as anyone to choose not to be that way…personality type or not….do you think that is true???

Hey Grace (responding to your Sept 17 1:23 post), unfortunately it is not black and white. Some people, especially when they are young and inexperienced at relationships, might mess them up through bad behavior. They might learn from their mistakes. Others, however, have more entrenched traits and are lacking empathy. It is a matter of degree and that is why it is so confusing, especially if you have invested time in the relationship. You are correct that bad behavior is a choice. However, when it comes to the “feeling” part about one’s behavior (do you feel bad about how you treated me? do you care how I feel? etc.), some people are so walled off from that or lacking, that it really is essentially hopeless. A lot of us empathetic people want to be the “one” to break through that and heal the broken, damaged person. But that is a trap for us. It is a trap to suck us in and damage us. It is not healthy for us.

And yes, it is sad, especially if someone has been that way, maybe damaged through early childhood experiences, but I believe these are in-born tendencies anyway. Ultimately, IMO, it is a spiritual problem for all participants. Ask yourself, why do you want to involve yourself in an unhealthy relationship? The best way to be in any relationship is to focus on your stuff, and let the other person focus on theirs.

Hi again Grace,
Thanks for your comment. As for the question of changing, my belief is that these individuals are quite content with who they are. Their agenda is different from ours. Love, as we think of it, that connection is replaced with hoodwinking others using ‘love’ as a tool. Think that when it takes a lot to feel alive one would need to up the special effects. Hence the lying and cheating drama.

Was speaking with an ex neighbor who had had a near death experience. It was not a pleasant experience for him. When I could not understand how he can continue with his attraction to the satanic and goth culture he explained to me that is what appeals to him and how he is made, his essence. Even after a NDE that has reinforced in his mind if he continues hurting others here, he shall suffer the consequences when the time comes ~ he does not care to be someone else.
I would like to point out that not all who have been damaged through early childhood experiences lack empathy. The neighbor mentioned above had a good upbringing in comparison to mine. A grandmother who doted on him and relatives who were always there for him. Yet he would find joy in horror flicks and creepy aliens coming out of chests movies. On the other hand I the damaged one get a shot of happiness warm feeling from love endings. The concept of love should be foreign to me yet I have friends whom I love dearly and at the ends of our phone conversations we have been known to say love you and mean it

Canuck,

your post moves me to respond with this info. I think this problem of the sociopath, and what they are, and what motivates them, etc. is like the blind men and the elephant. There are many love-motivated people who encounter these love-lacking-motivated people, and so we have this “experience” and then we want to make sense of it, through our love-motivated lenses.

It is like a puzzle to be solved. So, we are all the “blind men” trying to understand the elephant and then describe it. It helps greatly to listen to each other.

I’ve also found it helpful to study “outside the box” of sociopathy. So, I studied “abnormal” and also cognitive and behavioral, Jungian you name it, psychology (as many of us have), spirituality, history, and healing. Among some other various things. They have all brought me to this point. You can take it literally or you can take it as a symbolic expression of the experience (another blind person’s view of the elephant).

I think of sociopaths as being possessed by demons (or by negative energy/entities). I think that naive, intuitively-sensitive, love-motivated individuals (empathetic) are vulnerable to sociopaths because our emotions of anguish and fear are what the demons feed on. This is not to say that sociopaths *cannot* change, but I am increasingly viewing this as a form of possession which cannot be broken, without understanding what is going on. Bandaids will not work. Therapy generally does not work. This (“possession”) could explain why some children raised by sociopathic or abusive parents do not become sociopathic themselves. Some people are vulnerable and some are protected. Connection to “Source” is protective. If we choose to interact with sociopaths, or if we allow socipathic abuse in our lives, we too are vulnerable to becoming possessed by this foreign energy which interferes with our ability to shine light out into the world (and can disconnect us from “Source” or God). However, if we want to heal and return to living a love-motivated and influenced life, we can.

I realize this way of viewing things may offend some people — not my intention. Just to present a possible way of viewing it, to help increase understanding. Also, I am not afraid to bring this up (I don’t want to tiptoe around this concept). I did not always have this view; it has just come to me gradually, after many years of experience and study.

hi…yes I was thinking that too …about content with who they are….It seems they are invigorated by themselves and the next person they can flirt with and con to get what they want….the attention…the connection for future opportunities to get what they want….the score!…On the spiritual side of things…I think we can all agree…and we see that we are dealing with some kind of evil….my SP loved watching shows about killing …raping…forensic …It scared me….because he HAD to watch them….creeped me out…

So true. My father is a narcissist and my mother a borderline. I am the oldest and very sensitive, my younger brothers are not, so my father abused my mother who allowed it and then they both abused me. My brothers are very successful, I suffered but as I grew up and fell in love and my wonderful (non SP) husband healed me. Several years later, he died of cancer. I was only 35. My ptsd came back- full on- and then first man i dated after 2 years of my husband being gone was a police officer, sociopath,who stalked me and found out i had some money and pretended to meet me and made it “fate”. I totally fell for it. Not long after we broke up my father came back to town and tried to not only take my children from me (they have a trust,) saying i was an alcoholic, (i don’t drink) and that i have a cocaine addiction (also, not true.) He even tried to call my financial advisor and remove funds from my accounts saying to her that id given him permission. obviously she called me. When I told my siblings, he filed a lawsuit against me for defamation, something Im now in court for. I can’t seem to escape, and if it weren’t for my girls- Id give up. Its so heart wrenching to spend your life fighting against people you have not only done nothing to, but who hate you for no reason.

My father is a malignant narcissist and SP.

A good article that’s generating some interesting and insightful comments. There are of course many other layers between our truly understanding events as they are occurring and our reaction or lack thereof. A person who strives to be a kind, honest, and humble individual can find themselves at odds against another who is basically very much the same. Our value systems, our core beliefs, literally our definitions of what is right and what is wrong are factors. Then along with our moral code which I feel the need to separate from our ethical beliefs, positions, or understanding. Some may not understand or agree that morals and ethics can or should be separated as they are inextricably linked. With those people I would have to agree. Having said that, I have learned the hard way that some of the people who I consider to be fine and genuine examples with highly elevated moral standards have very little understanding or awareness of ethics beyond the construct of what they perceive as their guiding focus. I would say that I used to fall into that category somewhere. I didn’t know how much I didn’t know. I was blinded by my own hubris. I was focused on living my life based on an elevated moral code. What else was there to consider. Well I think we all know the answer to that one.

I can only speak for myself here, and if I am honest with myself, I must admit that in my younger and more vulnerable years (before gaining all this sociopath experience), I was fascinated by the predator types. I found them exciting, of course I didn’t realize they were *predators*, and I found the drama between us a little bit exciting (before it became ugly, that is — it was just flirty banter and I was drawn to it). Being an intuitive person, I am Very Good At Flirty Banter. 😉

I can look back now and see that some of my “training” for these relationships came from my early years of reading romantic novels of the type where the man is darkly mysterious, plays games, does he love me? or not? oh, how exciting! and then…. OMG, he DOES love me!!!!! (actually NOT, but the books always end before we would find that out). This is what I unfortunately had as my model for romance.

So, fast forward some decades, I have learned my lesson about these types of people. It may seem exciting at first, but it leads nowhere I actually want to go.

I look around, and I think there are many examples all over the place, of healthy romance, as well as the toxic kind. So it helps to know what you want, and not be wishy-washy about that. I mean, don’t go saying you want a healthy relationship, and then court danger with that flirting. It is like a beacon that draws in the predators.

Keeping with the theme of HSP, I would say that my relationships with sociopaths, in every case they seemed to enjoy pushing my buttons. Then I learned (here) about the “gray rock” technique of acting bland and boring to make them lose interest. It really works. Honestly, it was through practicing putting on a “gray rock” act, that I learned not to be so emotionally reactive in the first place (as they say, “fake it til you make it” so at first I pretended, but after awhile I didn’t have to pretend any more. I was inwardly calm as well as outwardly calm).

Wow….I could see that working!….I remember my Sp would get bored with certain people he could not seduce…I always wondered why he chose certain people…he was very hard on little boys…certain ones he would bring to tears for no reason…it was wierd…woman who would think he knew so much about his profession which allowed him a new audience every hour…and he could tell his stories and jokes over and over to perfect them!…the “gray rock” types he would leave alone…hmmm

Yes, I hope someone (Donna?) will post a link here to the article on “gray rock” to refresh people’s memory or teach new lovefraud readers.

How it worked for me, as I said, put on the most bland and boring act you can. if you are in conversation with a sociopath and you want them to lose interest, you can even feign being sleepy or kind of confused and vague. If you catch yourself starting to talk about something interesting in an animated way, you can suddenly trail off as though have forgotten what you were going to say. Then, kind of vague and sleepy and out of it, say, “oh…. I can’t remember what I was going to say…. sorry….” and just affect a sort of spaced-out look.

It is better to fake being spaced out, than to appear to be calculating and smart, or heaven forbid, let on to them that they have pushed your buttons. Just above all do not ever show them that you are upset with them!

This is meant as advice for safety, once you have identified a sociopath you need to get away from. Best thing you can do is just become suddenly as boring as possible.

Eventually your emotions will catch up, and they won’t be able to affect you emotionally any more. But “gray rock” works well in the meantime!

I am going to add here that you should aim for being ever so slightly on the “positive” side of neutral, in your affect. But even keel — no ups and downs. Nothing too extreme. Not depressed! Not happy! Just kind of neutral but ever so slightly positive. Aim to be polite but neither in a cold way, nor in a warm way.

If they ask you if anything is “wrong” (and they probably will!) you can give a slight smile and look mildly surprised by the question and then say, “no…. everything is fine. I’m just sleepy, maybe….” etc.

Hello 20 years,
Totally agree with you except for one exception. The demons in my mind’s eye are vibration. Low vibration = low light. The Bible speaks of going into the light. High vibration is love. Quantum physics tells us that nothing is solid. Vibration is energy. Music, thoughts, words all have their own vibration. God gave us free will. Scott Peck’s book ‘People of the Lie’ describes this better than my attempts. Special effects are needed to be ramped up continuously when we have chosen to take the low vibration route of no love. Soul groups seek out like soul groups where the energy is comfortable. Some souls feed off your high vibration and that is where the demons come in for me. But they can not steal, only break your energy. One near death experiencer stated that there are hospitals on the other side for the broken souls …. http://www.near-death.com/science/research/heaven.html

Canuck, I definitely agree with you that the “demons” are vibration, of the low type, and that love is vibration of a high type. All of what you say resonates with me. Yes, “People of the Lie” gives a very good description of much of this.

What you say brings up an interesting question. If soul groups seek out soul groups where the energy is comfortable (which I believe is true), then what is the explanation for these sociopathic abuse relationships? How does “comfort” fit into the experience of the prey? I know this is one of those philosophical types of questions, just interesting to ponder. 🙂

Predators need to feed their hunger so they hunt the prey.

Replied too quickly. Should have said ‘unsuspecting’ prey. Till the prey become savvy it is easy pickings. Thrill of the hunt etc is applicable in the games played to ramp up the excitement.
Soul groups do not prey on each other as they are too much alike therefore that what they know is the comfort zone till the predator goes on the hunt again.

Hello 20 years,

Your last post has me pondering so am sorry can not get all thoughts down in one post.

The prey hunted are the crippled and lost from the herd. Those who are ‘vulnerable’. Unfortunately seems that being sensitive makes us vulnerable, just like having been broken in childhood to be co-dependant. Can’t imagine the many ways we could be juicy to the predator. Perhaps just breathing is enough. But when you say go gray rock it makes a lot of sense. Playing dead works with non vulture predators. I liken the vultures to serial killers.

Isolation being one of the games played by the sociopath = picking the most injured and furthest from the herd ~ isolated from your soul group because do not recognize it due to being broken.
And I believe that is the crux of the problem of why some of the broken are lumped in with the dark souls. Their inner light has been dimmed. It shall shine again when healed.

Wow, Canuck, you are definitely giving me even more food for thought — thanks!

What you say offers some very good clues.

I will get back to this, I’m sure, but I have to get a bit of “work-work” done. 😉

Donna, there is an interesting article that was posted 2 days ago on the Daily mail titled:

“How to spot a psychopath? Measure their head: Men with wider faces are more likely to have psychopathic tendencies”

Thought you & everyone at LF might be interested.

Thanks Jan7 I’ll post it

wow…that is freaky….I had to to go back and look at pics…wish I could show …OMG…he has a wide face!! How can that be? Now I am going to be really checking faces!

Grace, mine too…I think if Donna post an article everyone will say the same!

It think this is why immediately when I met my ex he made me uncomfortable. First impression are lasting impressions!

I am most definitely a highly sensitive and intuitive person. I really feel the effects of it with my neighbors who are not the least bit sensitive. Whereas most other people would just blow off the neighbors’ insensitive behaviors, I am very affected by them. I live in a condo that is constructed like a townhome on two levels with no one above and no one below but two neighbors who share adjoining walls – one on either side. I have a neighbor who shares the front porch with me. The other neighbor’s porch is by my back patio and vice versa. She seems to think it’s okay to walk her vicious chihuahuas out of her back patio across my front porch 3 times a day, moving my chairs around in the process so she can get by (and not replacing them). We are currently embroiled in a battle with the HOA over my right to ask her not to do this. I did ask her very nicely, but this came after a year of battling with her to get her to turn her noise down so I could have peace and quiet in my unit. The previous owner had no problem with her noise levels or her intrusive dog walking. When I asked her to kindly use her own porch for dog walking, she came over and started verbally attacking me, calling me a racist. Rather than just blowing it off like most people would do, it affected me deeply. My first overwhelming reaction was to feel HER pain. I imagine what kind of life she must have / or must have had in the past to have so much hostility and mistrust of others from a simple request like “please keep your noise down” and what how lonely it must be for her to have the TV as her best friend and constant companion.

Her comments hurt me very deeply but not deeply enough to stop fighting for my rights, which has just incensed her. All of this stress has adversely affected my nervous system. I am on edge a lot and get knots in my stomach when I have to walk through my front entryway. None of this bothers any other neighbors, the previous owner of my unit, or my bf who spends a lot of time over here. Everyone thinks I should blow it off and not let it bother me. But I’m too sensitive to her hostile energy.

I am also an extrovert (ENFP) with a well developed introverted side. I am very sensitive to noises and energies in my environment. For this reason, I should probably live in a house, and I’m trying to find a small one I can afford right now. It’s very unfortunate. I just bought this condo a year ago and remodeled it so it’s totally adorable. It’s wonderful in every way except for this neighbor. And if I wait for her to move out, who knows what the next one will be like? I sometimes wish I weren’t so sensitive.

I also am extremely considerate to a fault and often feel let down when I see the masses having loud cell phone conversations in public, showing up late all the time, or cutting people off on the road. I’m always wondering why others are not as considerate as I am, and it really bothers me sometimes. I’ve had people tell me that this is my problem and that it stems from my childhood. But I think it’s just that I am highly sensitive and that HSPs are just like this.

The one thing that doesn’t fit is that I have a morbid fascination with horror films, especially cheesy ones like The Human Centipede, but even more macabre ones, even though I do get very affected. I think it’s all the Scorpio energy in my chart, for those who are into astrology. Because I respond deeply emotionally to films, I really resonate with Japanese films. The characters, themes, and messages seem to have more depth than American films.

Isn’t there a forum board to get on and talk with others? Where is it at on the site?

tarheels2133 – the conversation on Lovefraud takes place in the comments. Feel free to post!

I’ve read about Highly Sensitive People before.

Personally I would rather NOT have this trait, it has been a source of to much pain in my life, counseling has helped, medication worked wonders but now that Im off it, all the overwhelming “stuff” is coming back. Going to give it till the end of May, change my diet, increase exercise and better boundaries, if this doesnt work I have to go back on Sertraline, I just dont think my body keeps producing it? Also PRAYER helps. Any suggestions would be appreciated!!

Good boundaries are important.

Wow, I just took the self-test, and almost on every single criteria, I am a highly sensitive person!! (Yews, i am always aware of my grovery cart, lol!! I nevr want to be blocking someone’s access through an aisle!) That explains a lot. I was also raised by my mother to be uber-courteous, pleasing and accommodating to everyone. Fascinating article!! I am also a “perceiver” on Myers-Briggs personality test… this aspect was addressed in the article as needing more time to make decisions… And as a perceiver, I need a while to process this article! Whoa! Thank you for sharing!

I didnt know, (until I began reading books/articles/webpages) that not only was I an introvert (which I suspected was the case, rather than the ‘shy’ label I’ve been tagged with ALL of my life), also that Im an HSP..LOUD voices, LOUD noises, in your face odors, smells, tastes, scratchy fabrics drive me up a wall! I cant watch gory, bloody, violent movies or tv shows, or the scary, creepy movies that a lot of people adore, not me. When I am in the presence of some people, or in a new unfamiliar place..my personal radar is OUT, and I literally soak up the atmosphere of the people in the room or just the place itself. Sometimes its overwhelming. Of course, the man I married often was LOUD, profane, moody, full of rage and anger (when he chose to blow), obnoxious to me, more and more as time went on. I would simply implode, want to go away, hide inside my head or physically leave if I was able to do so. Which is why, after 29 years, I had NOTHING left to give/fight back with/or deal with everyday living. It took me so very long (years) to come back. Im still re-finding who and what I am (an introvert with HSP); who HAS to monitor herself, say NO when overloaded and spend time alone to re-charge and energize. At 19, when I met him, I really didnt know any of this; I was ‘shy’ and didnt know what life was, anyway. It took years (and years of being with a psychopath) to understand and figure who I am. And I was a ‘perfect target’. He knew precisely what HE wanted, and the woman to get it from, and it was me. I was played like a fiddle, until the strings broke, and no more was left to play.

p.s. for introverts (especially HSPs) I recommend the webpage Introvert Dear. I’ve learned a lot from the articles posted on that website.

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