By Ox Drover
As an advanced practice nurse, one of the things I did here in the rural area where parasites are common was warn people about the many diseases, several of them potentially fatal, caused by a common parasite, the tick.
Here on LoveFraud we often refer to psychopaths as “parasites” because, like a common blood-sucking tick, they feed off of a host, without giving any benefit to the host, or giving any more thought to the damage they do to the host than a common tick does as he burrows into your flesh.
In the warmer months of the year, the tick searches for anything that is warm and moves and can actually leap small distances to latch on to the host. They like to burrow into the skin in a “tight spot,” like under your waistband or some other hidden area. Frequently, too, they will actually group up in one spot on the host, and when you detach the biggest tick on top, you will find several other smaller ones hidden beneath who are also sucking blood from the same spot.
Parasites, just like the psychopath, take without giving. Sometimes the parasites actually do give you something, but it is usually in the form of some noxious, toxic and potentially fatal or debilitating disease. In the case of ticks, one of the more common diseases they pass on is Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, which is a disease caused not by their bite, but by an infectious agent in their feces which can actually pass through intact skin. A few days after the tick has either dropped off voluntarily, sated with the host’s blood, or been pulled off, frequently leaving behind both feces and mouth parts imbedded in the skin, the host will start to feel ill and run a fever. People with RMSF usually break out in a rash that resembles measles. Frequently the host doesn’t even realize what has happened, and may not actually remember being bitten by a tick. With prompt treatment, 93 percent of the victims will live, but without treatment, as many as 20 percent of the victims will die of either the disease itself or complications induced by the illness.
My bout with Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever
A couple of summers ago, I noticed that I wasn’t feeling well. It was during the worst of the fear and chaos of my experience with a multitude of psychopaths all at once, so I wasn’t thinking really clearly in any case. I attributed my “feeling bad” to the stress I was under for a couple of months until I became so weak I could not even climb a flight of stairs or stand up long enough to wash a small sink full of dishes by hand. I had noticed a tick bite, one that had been on me for at least 24, and probably 36 hours, before I noticed it and removed it.
When I became so ill that I literally was as “weak as a kitten” I finally decided to put a thermometer in my mouth and found I had a fever of 101 degrees, so I called my physician. He drew blood after I had reported to him the tick bite a couple of months before, and sure enough, I had Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever, though I had not broken out in the usual rash. I was so ill however, that my physician scheduled a battery of other tests and an appointment is a blood specialist and an infectious disease specialist. It took me almost a year to regain my strength and to start to feel better, but fortunately I ended up not having any lasting effects from the disease.
Remove the parasite promptly
Like ticks, psychopaths usually take a little time to not only suck your blood, but to transmit disease. If ticks are removed promptly, even if they have bitten you, there is little likelihood that they will infect you with something fatal. If they have time to deeply burrow into your skin, the longer they are there, the greater the likelihood that they will leave something behind that will cause problems for you. It may only be a painful, red, itching lesion that seems to drive you crazy with wanting to scratch to the bone, or it may be a disease that will land you in the ICU or the morgue, or cripple you with arthritis later on, like Lymes.
Not all diseases passed on to humans or other mammals by ticks and other parasites are as easily identifiable as RMSF. Some diseases that are potentially fatal have no reliable blood test to indicate that they are present. The person feels bad, but there is no objective symptom that can be identified either by the victim or the medical practitioner until great damage has occurred. These occult (unidentified) diseases may go undetected for months or years, doing their damage to the victim that is irreversible.
The psychopath and the tick
There is so much similarity between the psychopath and the tick, as well as other parasites. They burrow into our flesh and almost, in some cases, become part of us, while they suck our blood, and infect us with their toxic waste. They may not even appear to be so evil. “It’s just a bug bite, get over it,” our friends and family may say. Though we may become very ill from our even short association with these creatures, the illness may not be apparent to the naked eye like, say, a broken leg would be. We may struggle with the itch, the fever, the weakness, and the general debility left behind and not even realize that we have been infected with pathogens that can ruin or end our lives.
In addition to ticks attaching to us as we walk through grass or brush, ticks may also latch on to our pets or other family members, and thus gain entrance into our homes and lives by hitching a ride on our friends and pets. The tick may not even attack the pet or family member, but instead jump off on to our skin for his blood meal, using the intermediary only for transportation to get to us.
Look out for parasites
As I told the patients in my clinic, you need to be on the look out for ticks. If you or any member of your family, or pets, go anywhere in the summer time where there is grass, you should do a complete daily check for ticks, and carefully remove any that you find. Immediately wash the area and mark the date on the calendar, so that you can be on the look out for any sign of disease from even a short association with these creatures. If the symptoms of any kind of disease show up, seek medical attention immediately.
I think that same advice is useful for people who don’t live on a desert island alone, but live in the real world in which they may encounter psychopaths. I suggest that we all do a daily check of our lives to see if anyone we are dealing with even looks or acts at all like a parasite. If we see a parasite, quickly remove that parasite from our life. Wash all traces of them off of us. Then keep our eyes open for any covert damage that they have done to our life so that we can seek proper treatment as soon as possible.
Read two articles of LoveFraud, and call me in the morning!
One more thing. I was talking to a therapist and she said something about infants being born who were like ‘crack babies’. Not because the mothers did drugs, but because they were so stressed out. They ended up producing so many stress hormones/transmitters, that the fetus gets used to the high levels of fight or flight ingredients.
She said this is one theory of folks who have (not PD’d folks) issues with seeking drama (and the subsequent release of these stress hormones).
Dear Slimone,
sorry about the “brain surgery”—! I think I “resemble that remark” too much too….I’ve been under some kind of stress most of my life, to the point I got to feel it was normal.
I am working hard on the “non-dramatic” life, and it is becoming more “natural” to me now…still not there, and may never be totally “There” but I think it is much better than it has ever been before.
Easing away from “drama queens” is a big step, and getting rid of the users and abusers and people who do not respect my boundaries is helping too.
The last “friend” I dumped was a very long term friend that broke his word to me over essentially “nothing big” but it was in a series of increasingly rude instances and I just didn’t want to deal with it any more. When I confronted him (gently) about it, he reacted (over reacted) with name calling, shouting etc. and that was the END.
I just don’t need “dishonest” and “rude” people in my life, whether it is a “small” dishonesty or a “large” one. It is getting easier to shed these people without a lot of guilt, feeling bad, asking myself if I am doing the “right” thing, etc. I’m learning to set boundaries and not second guess myself.
Not feeling the need to “rescue” people, though I still am willing to “Help” people who are trying to help themselves. Or as Jesus said, “giving, without expectation of repayment.”
So many good things to read at the moment but I am flat out working, I SOO need it! I need my dose of LF to stay well. But its gonna have to wait a bit, as” life happens”.
Tilly,
Hope you get lots done. We will be expecting you back, soon!
Oxy, Yes. Me too. I have weeded my relationship garden as well. If it’s a weed, no matter how small, it goes. Only the friends who are completely trustable and clear with me get to play.
And I am attempting to compassionately weed my ‘inner’ garden, as well.
As for the brain surgery– I could use a little brain surgery. And you seem like a fine surgeon!
Learthelesson
sorry for delay.i was busy reading in here, swallowing and digesting. i found myself lost within posts, still absorbing every single post, every time surprised with magnitude of similarities.
As u pictured: ” I dont even know the names of I LOANED to him to be able to “get to work” and also the stripclub and gym and probably even other womens houses!!! O M G OM G !!!!!
Scenario goes like this: First, “WE” need a car, than “WE” need to fix it, “WE” need new tyres…and at the end, HE needs to drive his new victim. YEAH, OMGOMGOMG 🙂
Anyways, we all know what will be the last stop of da ride – straight where it belongs: to the old cars cemetery.
OLE!! :)))
Hi everyone…
This post again, hits home as I struggle with letting myself off the hook for my nievity. My situation, Im sure, is quite similar to most everyone elses. I will share a bit relating to the post.
Hmmmm…when did I notice he was similar to a parasite? Lets see…was it when he volunteered me to drive his child (who lives 1.5 hours away from me) home every other weekend? No, no, maybe it was when he left my house 3 times after a fight, gave me back my keys and begged harder and harder each time for me to give them back. No, that wasnt it either. Maybe it was when he began telling people ‘we’ lived in a condo—which is a lie…he’s lived with his parents SINCE IVE KNOWN HIM (3.5 years to be exact, and he’s gonna be 36). Ummmm, maybe it was when he left his childs bike at my house after I told him “no” because I had no room for it. Or MAYBE…maybe it was after he ignored me for the weekend because I told him I wouldnt co-sign a motorcycle for him LET ALONE buy it outright for him!
It makes my stomache hurt knowing I did alot of ‘things’ for him, believing I was “in a relationship”, that I wouldn’t have otherwise done. I opened MY home to him and his child and gave of my things freely, only to be taken advantage of time and time again and attempted to be made to feel guilty for saying no!
Ill never forget his line to me (as he broke up with ME-via text mind you)…”your boundaries are what kept out alot of what I needed most”…
How sick is that, how sick is that?
Oh…and speaking about bordem…
I am quite hyper to begin with so I enjoy being ‘busy’. Running most of the day all day isnt uncommon for me-EXCEPT on the weekends. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to lay in bed on a Saturday or Sunday, taking cat naps intermittently through the day, after the gym, or after a shower.
What I noticed and hadnt thought about it too much until now, is my ex COULD NOT enjoy any form of relaxation. We HAD to be doing something from the ass crack of dawn until bed time…and I would be repeatedly asked “what should we do now?” It got to the point that when we had his child at my house, HE had to be doing SOMETHING or was very unhappy…and I dont mean playing in his room by himself, either.
That always did strike me as odd…how he couldnt enjoy the art of timeless nothingness…why is that does anyone suppose?
Oxy, you really should write a book….I have often thought of the tick analogy….so true….they do infect people, and so often early on we ignore the symptoms or brush them off as nothing..I too, have aged, felt crazy myself, because I could not seem to make anyone see what I saw…I see my poor son in law with the huge tick on his nose that you talked about. He’s become used to the tick now..every time you try to point the tick out to him, he will defend the tick and get offended..it is part of his nose…at least I don’t have to see my tick everyday, but she is there and it has left me weak…with this blog though I am being validated, and that does give hope. I never knew there were so many of us …that is comforting and quite distressing at the same time. My 2 ticks just seem to be getting more and more blood thirsty the older they get! These girls are in their mid thirties now and they haven’t slowed down one bit…it feels so weird to refer to your children as ticks, but it is true !!! Love you guys…
Dear Creampuff,
Your step daughter may be a tick, but my P-son is a VAMPIRE bat, literally sucking the life out of people and killing them.
And you are right, until your son-in-law sees and feels the tick for himself it is part of him.
Thanks for the kind comments—I have writtenn a “book” it isx just here in a bunch of posts! Maybe 10 books.
Oxy,
You blew the wind out of my sails! Had a similar story all ready to go, and decided to search a bit more, and found yours here already!
In another article Donna mentioned how animals can love, and scary shark attacks too, but do ticks love, and do we feel it? Do we miss them after removal? I think they miss us more, but only because of their thirst.
I made a mental list of things I miss about my tick. Here it is.
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