A few days ago, Bill Zeller, a 27-year-old graduate student at Princeton University, died. The cause: suicide. The reason: He was tormented due to being repeatedly raped as a child.
Zeller left a 4,000-word suicide note that eloquently explained the effect that the devastation had on his life. There is a link to it in this article:
Princeton student kills self over rape as child, on CBSNews.com.
Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.
Akita,
you can’t think of it as a rejection from a human being. It is more like a force of nature, since they are not really human.
They are only physically human. Inside they are more like rotten meat. It comes from never wanting to grow up, not wanting to suffer pain. They contort their thinking just to keep from facing reality and they turn into spaths.
The other side of the coin is that we don’t want to become like them. So feel the pain, and let it guide and instruct you.
Don’t wallow in the drama that isn’t the same thing – spaths do that. Look at the pain, look at yourself feeling the pain. What does it tell you about you?
akitameg, I just don’t see this as rejection. You see it that way because it is what you believe, you have to change that belief. You bumped into a complete a**hole, he is operating out of the hell in his own mind, it does not have anything to do with you, with the way you look or the way you talk or anything!!!! He was like this before you met him, and he will be like this the rest of his miserable life. You cannot take this to heart and blame and punish youself.
I am so proud of you for not trying to “hang in there until he changes”, because we all know that’s not gonna happen! You are doing great! Keep sticking your head out of the sand, that’s something I’m working on too! Scares me, I think everybody is a spath!!
“I’M LEO BORN INTHE YEAR OF TIGER AND YOU COME IN MY GOAL CREASE AND I’LL EAT YOUR FUCK ‘IN HEAD OFF OR CHEAT MY PLAYERS BEWARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Spoken like a TRUE Sociopath?!
The above is a direct quote from the ex……this about sums em up?
Any concerns?
Akitameg, I heard a good analogy recently.
You see this truck driver, he is obviously wounded, and out of control. your instinct is to help him, and then you realise,HE IS HEADING STRAIGHT FOR YOU and he will drive right over you if you dont get out of his way! We CANT help them,{the spaths} all we can do is get out of their destructive path, or get run over and killed or maimed for life.They are SICK F–ers, we CANT rescue them, if we try to help,{as we are kind, loving empaths,} we will get sucked dry, wounded, bled of everything,[time, money, energy, sex,everything.} When they are done with us, we will be discarded like a used Kleenex. DDDs, ie, devalued, discarded, and dumped.Without one second thought.
Ive had to do this with my daughters, they are both spaths.
Remember, they have no consciense, lie all the time, will twist the truth to suit their glorified image of themselves, you are only a poor sucker to be used and dumped.
You are “Trauma bonded”, its like a drug withdrawel.
They are totally incapable of loving anyone.
No, its not rejection from him, he is incapable of loving anyone.. Can you bear to look into your childhood and find out who rejected you? Your inner child is wounded.
Love and HUGS,
Mama gemXXX
HE’S A REAL HOCKEY *UCK
no questions :/
*insert F or P here, reader’s choice!
Sky, Shabby, Mama Gem–
Thank you sooo very much for these posts!
Just went to my fav hole in the wall for a nice Gyro sandwich to try and gain some of the wght I have lost this week. so yummy!!!! I should have gotten two of them.
Gemini– I am adopted and my adoptive mom got very ill when I was two.
It may stem from that stuff. I love the they are not human stuff.
My cat rocks! She has not left my side this week!!!! I swear she knows I need her love. I rescued her on her last day in a shelter this past July. Now this little kitty is loving me back.
as are all of you and I thank you for every word you post!
Gemini– How earth have you survived two spath dghters? That sounds heart wrenching. God bless you girl and you must be strong!
Akitameg, Its true that God works in mysterious ways!
God has given me a new , beautiful,loving daughter. Two years ago, on a flight home to Australia from Dubai,[last lap ofa trip to Scotland] I met this lovely girl called Roya. she and her husband, Abbas, were coming to Sydney on a 2 year student Visa.She was 23 then.Well, that was 2 years ago, and my husband and myself have virtually adopted these two. We love them both so much. We are sponsoring them to stay permanently in Australia. Roya recently found out theyve been granted another year. Afterthe end of 2012, thay can apply for permanent residency.Im so thrilled for them both, and for us,these two have given us more love, affection, hugs, kisses,and fun in 2 years than my spath Daughters have given in 30 years!I discovered that God never takes something out of your hand withour replacing it with something much better! I also havea sponsored child, April Rose, in the Phillipines, -she is almost 16 now, and Ive sponsored her since she was 6. I have another sponsored litle girl in Colombia,Lina, her Father earns the equivalent of $17–U.S per month.Then, I send my friend, Jiya jiya,who is a refugee in South Africa, from Zimbabwe, $100–per month.{I met him in 2008, when David and I went to Cape Town for out silver wedding anniversary.} Jiya was our waiter. He has just emailed me to let me know that he now has a legal passport, and residents permit to stay in Cape Town, and can now start to save up to bring his wife, and 3 children and Mum in law from Zimbabwe!.He tells me he couldnt have done this without my help. I am so delighted to be able to help truly needy people, not users and lyers and con artists and thieves like my daughters.
So you see my cup ruly runneth over!After years and years of abuse from spath Ds, Ive finally given up. I no longer believe in unconditional love. From now on, if they want my love, they will have to earn it, and prove it by truly being sorry for all the years of misery, gaslighting, abuse, lies, projection,and down right thieving, putting me down, treating me worse than a stray dog.
I dont need them any more, I dont miss them, I dont need liers, users and con artists in my life.
I have a brand new life without these bitches in it, and Im so grateful.!!
Love,
Mama gem.XX
I forgot to mention, Roya and Abbas are from Iran.
They are so pleased to ge t out of this cruel, repressive country, but of course they have a loving family and they miss them..
Love, Gem.XX
Miss Erin B – Oh my ~! yes you should be concerned..
Hi everybody. I’ve had a tough 3 day weekend. Very isolated, no money, rainy and cold weather. Looking at my life and feeling really blue. It’s clear that I’ve squandered so much. I was sick yesterday, so stayed in bed and tried to doze, but was continiously haunted by my past. So very many regrets. So many mistakes. So many lossses.
Wondering, after 3 really bad long term relationships, (two were marriages) what on earth is wrong with me?
This is a sad place to be, as I don’t see much hope for the future.
There’s not much chance I will have a fulfilling career…a loving partnership. Basic survival is sometimes a challenge.
I just feel low. I’m usually a lot more positive and helpful, but I wonder if this is ruminating, or important.
Maybe I need this down time to process. On the other hand, maybe I need to pull myself out of it.
Advice?