A few days ago, Bill Zeller, a 27-year-old graduate student at Princeton University, died. The cause: suicide. The reason: He was tormented due to being repeatedly raped as a child.
Zeller left a 4,000-word suicide note that eloquently explained the effect that the devastation had on his life. There is a link to it in this article:
Princeton student kills self over rape as child, on CBSNews.com.
Story suggested by a Lovefraud reader.
lesson learned
Ox?
eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ok, so I would have opted for your rule provided I was under the same set of circumstances, but a weiner is NOT going to kill me, in fact it could be the OTHER way around if he DOESN”T stop poopin and peein in my house!!
LL
skylar
Hens,
Your weiners sound more like CATS! that’s what cats do when you dress them up! ummh uh – not sure how I know that, because “I” certainly have never dressed up a cat…you believe me right?
You might find something that your spath left behind but it won’t be a love note.
Your musings reminded me of something: My spath sister borrowed my video cam in 1998 for a vacation on a schooner with the trojan horse. She returned it but I bought another and just put the old camera away. Before xmas 1995, I took it out and found a video of her vacation. It was shot crappy but I put it through the video editing software and added some cool music and effects and lots of editing and made a really great DVD of her vacation and gave it to her for xmas that year. She and trojan were shocked, they gave me some crappy used stuff and sample day-planners that they got for free with some company logo on it.
Here’s what REALLY happened. The trojan had been given explicit instructions by the exP on how to make me feel like my life was worthless. He was to provide my sister with everything that I didn’t get: a wedding, a decent house to live in, and lots of vacations. This was to make me feel envious and drive a wedge between us. I can see this clearly now and the tape that was left in the camera was like a mini-trojan horse to make me wish I could have a great caribean vacation on a sailing ship. LOL!
I couldn’t care less about those things, I never have and they will never understand it. I don’t feel envy and I especially would never be able to feel envy towards my sister whom I loved (at the time) very much. I could only feel happiness if she was happy. Spaths don’t understand that, especially my sister who is the most envious person next to exP, that I’ve ever met. Imagine their shock when, instead of being envious, I spent 40 hours feverishly working on this video that I thought would make them happy. And my spath watched me doing it and enjoying every minute, because it’s stuff like that (being creative and making others happy), that makes ME happy.
There were so many times that in retrospect, I can now see, the spaths wanted me to suffer, but I didn’t because they were projecting their own envy on me and I just didn’t have any way to feel that envy. Just like I projected my love on them and they had no way to feel that love.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
LL – get a doxie to stop peeing? Oh, puleaze, that’s like trying to get a spath to stop lying! bwahahaaahhaa.
(Sorry, having intimate experience of both, it seemed like a good paralell. ;))
one/joy_step_at_a_time
I have been thinking about psath’s taking ‘pleasure in our suffering’. sigh. thinking about it makes me want to drive a battering ram into her face. All the pretense that had me in knots, really twisted sick shit. And all the humor – how is it that 2 of the characters laughed differently? If she could control that, then maybe the laughter was a bunch of BS, also.
I have big hurt inside me; hurt she worked hard to create. Hurt that evokes impotent rage. Which leads me to great sadness or wanting to ram things into her face. sigh.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
hey notcrazee,
I need to talk to you about something. I posted in spanish to my good friend CAMom, and she to me. And you had a bad reaction to that. What was that about?
soimnotthecrazee1
Not a reaction to her…. there was a grey pot on that was named tox something, very starnge post it was, that I put them down for their post… guess what grey pot dissapeared!!!! I told her grey pot!!! and asked if she got it, she said she did. i don’t think she did!!! What she really got upset about was the fact that I would dance on xspaths grave for what he did to me, I didn’t realize her x committed suicide!!! No offense to her trying to run off grey pot!!!
one/joy_step_at_a_time
notcrazee, never underestimate CAMom. Ever. She’s been around here for quite a while, just not much since you have been here. She is really struggling with her spath x’s suicide (which is recent), and it takes a lot for her to even post here right now. I understand how you feel about your spath x. And so does she. In fact CAMom, helped me concoct the PERFECT torture fantasy for my spath; which was significant, because when I got that *right*, i was able to get through more than 5 minutes without obbessing about killing the spath. CAMom has a huge heart. She was really hurting the other night. I wish I could have been here longer to talk with her. Her ex terrorized her from across the country for weeks before his death. She had gone nc with him and he was beyond ugly to her. Then he blamed her for his death and blew his brains out. She is traumatized by all of this. She is having a very very hard time coping.
I just want you to know where she’s coming from, so that you can understand that we need to be gentle about this topic of death with her.
soimnotthecrazee1
I understand now! I didn’t know about her sitiuation, just like nobody knows ‘really” about mine. I would do the “snoopy happy dance” on his grave in a second, actually I hope I outlive him so that I can do it. he danced on my grave when he killed me and took my life and all my security away from me.
But I will file that about her and remember for the next encounter.
My apology!
SC1
one/joy_step_at_a_time
thanks nc.
one/joy_step_at_a_time
i thought that you made a comment about people needing to ‘speak english here’. No?