By | November 30, 2014 3 Comments

How to divorce a narcissist

scaleDivorce coach and founder of The Inspired Divorce, Lindsey Ellison, says that “divorcing a narcissist may be the toughest fight of your life.”

While doing her research for her blog:  Secret to Engaging a Narcissist, Ellison came upon Robert Farzad, president of Farzad Family Law in Orange County, California, who believes that those divorcing a narcissist “lose” their case because they never have a strategy and end up surrendering.

Farzad says that “all of your emotions and what you feel are irrelevant. The minute you react to that person, you are already losing the battle.” Farzad  suggests if you’re divorcing a narcissist, “stop feeling and start thinking.”

The Secret to Divorcing a Narcissist: ‘Stop Feeling, Start Thinking’, from (Link supplied by a Lovefraud reader.)

Did you divorce a narcissist? If so, what worked, and what didn’t? Please share your thoughts with other Lovefraud readers.


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That is way too simple. Those people are scorched earth nasty. I hardly left with what I came in with 16 years earlier. And my clothes walked away on whores. And my treasured things got broken, oops! And my animals were hurt. After I got away, everyone I knew was interrogated to find me. Then my secure undisclosed location was broken into repeatedly. I caught the jackass the third time, with his ho du jour driving the unlit getaway car.

In court, I heard that he didn’t want “that woman”, that would mean me, “to get ANYTHING!” Really? I spent 16 years feeding your sorry ass, cleaning your house, mowing your yard, doing your marketing, paying your bills. That Woman took you to the emergency room when you decided at 3 a.m. you must have a serious case of botulism, for no apparent reason except that I needed to be far away at 8 a.m. for work. And PS I found that house and saved for a down payment while in school and working two jobs. PSS Fuck you.


Wow, way to go donewiththat.
Reading your post made it all come back.
I’m sorry, but thank you for sharing.


I just went through a very nasty divorce from a narcissist after 20 plus years. There are strategies but it is important to choose the right one. Once I filed for divorce I cut of all contact, no more emotions. All business like. I hired an aggressive, male attorney who is also a criminal attorney. They know so much better how to deal with narcissists , Soviopaths in my opinion. Also I talked to several to really feel “at ease” with the one I chose. My attorney did an excellent job , obtained a very favorable outcome and basically saved my life. It took well over a year and it was like going to war. But I had my best weapons in that battle in form of my attorney and of course my faith in God.
I regret not filing earlier and staying with this chrating abuser for over 20 years. I did a lot of legal research and put my confidence in my lawyer. Did he cost me a fortune ? Absolutely , but it was worth every cent because my ex basically got destroyed in court. My victory.

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