How to get a degree in psychopathy

Sara Strudwick, author of Dark Souls, lays out a step-by-step plan for learning about psychopaths. Read:

How to get a degree in psychology and psychopaths (the hard way!), on Darksouls-TheBook.com.

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49 Comments on "How to get a degree in psychopathy"

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Stillreeling/Stilldancing (lol

Hmm, inadequacies was not the right word. Maybe weaknesses is better. I think I was trying to say that reading your post helped me because I identified with the whole guilt thing and the coming to terms with being lied to. It’s been a painful process…..is a painful process as so many here can testify. When you wrote about your pain and how you were feeling I thought, yes I know that pain. I’ve been there. It isn’t somewhere I wish to revisit, Still. But there’s an album by a British band Stereophonics. “You got to go there to come back”

I love the track “Maybe tomorrow, I’ll find my way home” btway, but I love the Album title especially.

We gotta go there to come back. yes seree bob

Still reeling: I don’t post here frequently either but happened to catch your comment. There were two different things about your post that resonated with me. One is your mentioning a lot of fear and insecurity. You reminded me of how I have been having a great week (and really a great life in general). I’ve been taking salsa dancing classes with a teacher that I’ve wanted to study from for a year. I’m doing Zumba almost every day and generally having a great life. Then today a stray thought crossed my mind – a paranoid thought about a possible event that could possibly happen with someone I know. I won’t go into details but it was a form of catastrophic thinking – worst case scenario. All of a sudden I went into fear. My energy just went down 10 notches. I went to a new salsa club tonight and was off my game which made me feel insecure with my dancing as well. Then I looked in the mirror and thought I looked fat….FEAR is that intangible state that kills joy. And the thing about it is that if you don’t recognize it for what it is, it will suck all the positive things out of your life. Know that your fears are only fears, and they are not the truth about your life. And the thing is that usually the thing you are afraid of is not true.

The other response I had to your post was that if I were a coach or therapist for you, I would have you write down 10 things you love about yourself – 10 great qualities you have. Then read them to yourself until you start to “feel” those qualities. Let that feeling grow until you are starting to feel good about yourself. Knowing who you are and seeing your inner beauty is the best defense I know against fearful, anxious thoughts. They can still come in, but they won’t take hold.

I think – and you’ve said many times – that the spath had so much power over you because he was able to mirror back to you some good qualities you have. And now you are afraid that those qualities don’t really exist. They do. And even if they didn’t, they would if you said so. Those beautiful magical things the spath saw in you and made you feel is your inner beauty, which exists with or without a spath. If you can find it and feel it, you’re 90% recovered IMO.

What a great summary! I’m proud to say that I’ve completed my PHD in psychopathy, self-published my thesis (memoir) and am on my way to complete recovery! It’s nice finally to be able to read something intended to be humorous about psychopathy, and actually appreciate the humor it in…..

Strongawoman, thanks for your message. I was a kid during the British Invasion and the music from that era is and always be just a part of my heart and soul. You know how it is when you’re an impressionable kid, the great (and not so great) experiences you go through resonate strongly all through your life. I will go from here to google and listen to your song.

You said:
“coming to terms with being lied to. It’s been a painful process”..is a painful process as so many here can testify. When you wrote about your pain and how you were feeling I thought, yes I know that pain. I’ve been there.”

Yes. Yes. Yes. It’s so painful and where I’m glad you understand, which makes this forum so helpful, I’m sorry too. Sorry for both of us.

I know what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and I *well* know it was MY choice to fantacize a few comments, emails and convos into a possible beautiful mutually supportive friendship. Of course, that doesn’t help with the pain and lousy feelings and just emptiness. It isn’t *him*, it’s *me* and my guilt, shame, humiliation and the circumstances in my life intensifying my need for this fantasy. Aging, no job, feeling useless, purposeless, etc., puts me in a very bad state and it seems if I focus on him and what went down, that is the only thing that actually makes me feel better. It’s a huge catch 22 and a recipe for misery. I don’t even like the guy and think he’s a smarmy creep, but the fantasy was so lovely.
Strong, I so appreciate you and your warm, generous nature. May you continue to do well and to think back less and less until the thought of path just fades to nothingness or just maybe a lesson learned, no emotional response. Apathy.

Stargazer, gosh, you were up late. Hope you don’t have insomnia or were unsettled after last night. I so appreciate your post. And just let me say I’m very glad you are enjoying Zumba and also feeling well and strong and that life is great right now….very glad for you.

WOW-yes, I very much resonate as well to that stray thought, the worst case scenario, catastrophizing, jump to the bottom of the well thinking. Then obsessing about it till full blown panic takes over, which many of us understand is plain old fear. I can just absolutely feel how you felt…the energy drop, the insecurity at the club, the reflection in the mirror…..it does steal your joy and I truly hope you were able to float through it, snap it away or whatever tricks you use to step out of the fear state. Thank you for that reminder.

I so often watch people who aren’t affected in that way, and I’m so in awe. I know for me this is a wiring defect, supported by nurture, so it’s difficult to control at times, but again, it’s so helpful to know that there are folks like you out there who experience these same feelings and are doing so well. So again, I appreciate your sharing.
It really helps.

I love your suggestion about the “10 things” and I think I will also work into that a few about strength…I need so badly to feel strong and resilient. When I met path, even tho I HATE aging so much, I felt that being older had put me into a great position for accepting him as he was and being strong enough to appreciate his good qualities and accept his positive feelings about me, vague, cryptic and guarded though they were. So I know I have it in me to get back there to the strength.

Lastly, star, I hope you are right about the mirror. No matter what I read or try to understand about paths, I just find it hard to relate. I don’t even know what this creature wanted from me. I guess because he was getting into trouble, he just threw me under the bus so I’ll never know. It was that easy for him, but I just can’t accept it even tho I see how much he *didn’t* care. I so wish, so wish, I could get to a place where I truly felt in my gut what I know intellectually.

I have copied both your posts into an email to myself so that I can re and re-read and make my list.

Thank you both so much….

I wish you continued healing, comfort and that nurturing glow of well-being we all love and deserve.

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