The predictions were dire. Hurricane Sandy had been stewing in the Caribbean for days. It was projected to travel up the East Coast of the United States and then make a left turn—heading directly into my home at the Jersey Shore.
A year ago, my husband, Terry, and I had heard similar warnings about Hurricane Irene. Officials were predicting a direct hit and ordered everyone to evacuate the islands along the Jersey Shore. We moved as much as we could from our ground floor, which actually goes down two steps from the sidewalk. It included the queen-sized mattress from the futon in our recreation room, the television, my husband’s drum set, tools and boxes and boxes of Lovefraud materials. Then we evacuated.
Irene came and went. Other parts of the country got smashed, but not us.
Hurricane Sandy
So when those same officials predicted that Sandy was both a hurricane and a nor’easter, the storm of a generation, promising devastation like New Jersey hadn’t seen in many years, well, Terry simply did not believe them. He didn’t think anything could be that bad.
I did. As a kid, I’d played on the beach in Sea Isle City, New Jersey, among cinder block foundations in the sand—all that remained of homes that had been swept away in a hurricane. The first street in Longport, New Jersey, was named 11th street—because 1st through 10th Streets had been consumed by the ocean. People said New Jersey was hit by killer storms every 100 years—and we were overdue.
But then I started to doubt myself. After all, I’d lived in the area for nearly 35 years, and nothing truly bad had happened. There were many scares, and most of them amounted to nothing. Still, as a journalist, I knew that there were honorable reporters who told the truth. And they were saying that even though Hurricane Irene was a dud in our area, Hurricane Sandy would be a terror.
The debate
I wanted to heed the warnings and prepare to evacuate. Terry decided he was not going to leave.
We argued. Terry said I could leave if I wanted to, but he was staying. He said nothing happened the last time, the media just wanted to scare people, local officials were just covering their butts, and the weathermen always get it wrong.
I was torn. In the end I didn’t want to leave my husband alone, so I didn’t actually agree to stay. I just stopped arguing to leave.
I started carrying our possessions from the ground floor upstairs again. Terry went shopping to buy food to ride out the storm in our home. He reluctantly helped me carry the futon mattress upstairs again. He did not move his drums. He put them on top of the empty futon frame.
The storm
The night of Sunday, October 28 wasn’t bad. We heard some wind, but it wasn’t howling. We heard rain, but it wasn’t pelting. We slept well.
But the storm was predicted to hit Monday, along with two high tides, which would be higher than normal because of the full moon. The first high tide was slated for 8 a.m. Long before 8 a.m., water started coming into our basement.
It was actually ground water, percolating up through cracks in the basement floor. We ran a Shop Vac and mopped, and were able to stay ahead of it for maybe an hour, as the bay crept up the street. Slowly, however, the water surrounded our house. Before long, there was two feet of water in the basement. We sloshed through the water, carrying up more items that hadn’t been moved, like Terry’s drums. Other items were consigned to wreckage.
The escape
I freaked out. The hurricane still hadn’t hit land yet, and the next high tide, in 12 hours, would be worse. Terry finally admitted that he was wrong; he had underestimated the danger. So when the water receded at low tide and the streets cleared, we made a run for it. We took our last chance to get out of town.
As we drove away through the rain, I asked Terry why he didn’t believe the warnings. “I’ve never experienced anything like this,” he said. “I just didn’t think it could be that bad.”
And that’s why I’m telling this story. It is an indication of how our beliefs, or lack of belief, can lead us to disregard warnings and evidence. This is how we get in trouble with sociopaths—by never having experienced anything like them, and not believing it is possible for people to actually be that bad. So we fail to act, until it’s almost too late.
Epilogue
Although our basement flooded, we made out a lot better than many other areas of New Jersey. Seaside Heights, the location for the infamous Jersey Shore reality TV show, was smashed to smithereens. The streets of many beach communities are filled with tons of wet sand, deposited by the raging ocean. And in New York, a fire wiped out a hundred homes, while firefighters, blocked by floodwaters, couldn’t reach them.
We’re back home. We have electricity, gas, telephone service and Internet, but our heater is ruined. We’ve been hauling trash out since Friday.The entire basement has to be gutted and repaired. But in the end, I am grateful that for us, Hurricane Sandy wasn’t much worse. I feel very badly for the thousands of people who suffered far worse. Below is a video from Sea Bright, New Jersey, which is near where my brothers live (and near where Bruce Springsteen lives).
[youtube_sc url=http://youtu.be/4BiWZ7w_vhM]
kim:
I respect you more than you can ever know for what you have done with your life. So many women need to look to you for inspiration. So many are afraid; they don’t want to be alone so they keep reaching out for love, but they get disappointed and hurt over and over again. I see it everyday, not only on here, but in “real” life and it’s heartbreaking.
I, too am independent like you and go to sleep at night not wondering about what a crazy man who is supposed to be with me is out doing somewhere else with someone else. I am not sitting at home waiting on dates who never show up, etc. It is freedom; it is peace. I hope everyone finds that…I truly do.
Thank you so much for your post. You stated it so well.
Kimmie, baby, girlfriend, I have watched your transformation and I am so PROUD OF YOU, AND PROUD FOR YOU….and not just proud that you have peeled the old onion about the first marriage.,..but that you are working on the CURRENT problems, like with the SIL who is at least HIGH IN P TRAITS….and the cook who Steals.
How did that work out about the $50 BTW. If you told that I missed it.
(((congratulations and hugs))))
well, Oxy, I went to work the next day with both guns loaded. I said I would NOT pay for another theft. I asked why the cook wasn’t being fired, and why I was being thrown under the bus, over and over again. I told my boss that I was willing to go over her head and speak to her boss…the owner of the business. I mad it clear that she needed to be present during shift change to personally secure the sales money.
I was successful, in so far as she wrote the theft off, and I didn’t pay for it.
The cook is still employed, however, but the boss secures the money everynight.
So, it went ok.
I’ve got the day off. 🙂 Gonna clean my bathroom and wash my bedding.
Hope you are hobbeling along your path of happy destiny, Ox.
Yea, Kim, doing the new dance “the doctor trot” where you trot from doctor to doctor. LOL Fix one thing and something else breaks.
I am glad you are safe, Donna. This is quite an analogy to the damage of a psychopaththey but storms are not evil. I would have stayed too for the excitement of the storm. I was never much afraid of Mother Nature, cautious having grown up in tornado alley but not afraid. I am in awe of her power. I glad you are okay.
Kim,
That is a truly tough but inspiring story of your life! I know others (myself included) who have been to the bottom crying UNCLE UNCLE ok ok I get it. (at least that’s what I felt) when I was on the wrong road and determined to stay to my demise.
I know the peace of physical abuse no longer happening and the peace in your whole being that comes with it. Your humble life is a good one. I don’t know why lessons come so hard for some of us but it sure is a good feeling to come up from there.
Congratulations to you. You are truly an inspiration to continue on as it CAN get better. May your soup pot be plentiful this winter. 🙂
I had the 5 gallon dutch oven to the brim. Called my daughter and sent a loaf of home-made french bread and a half gallon home with her. I will take some to work tomorrow for a co-worker who laments that she doesn’t cook and doesn’t eat healthy. I left about two bowls in the fridge, for dinner, and put the rest in freezer bags, in my freezer.
I think I will continue to do this on my days off, until I have a variety of frozen soups to chose from, on those days that I’m tired and don’t want to be bothered with cooking.
Thanks for the good wishes, Eralyn, and may your soup pot always be full, as well.
kim
nicely done. what an inspiration.
arhena
Kim,
Thanks for the well wishes. I think the soup making is a great idea. Then you’ll be able to pick one for your mood. Do you make stew too?
I think that’s very nice sharing. I had employees when I was single and working all the time, who would bring me some of their great recipes when they made big amounts. I was always grateful. I have very good recipes from them!
I have to say I cook more when I am feeling good about my life. During this court crap, it’s so exhausting and the thought of planning a meal, making the mess, cooking and then the clean up would just face plant me. Many moms are gaunt looking in court! So I wasn’t the only one. 🙂
Symbol of Faith and Hope — and applies to the storms
wrought by “problem people” as well :
“The news media covered every imaginable aspect of Hurricane Sandy, showing us houses lifted off foundations, roller coasters blown into the ocean, boardwalks snapped like matchsticks, entire neighborhoods reduced to rubble. The most horrific images were of Breezy Point, a neighborhood in Queens where more than 100 homes burned to the ground.
At the corner of Oceanside Avenue and Gotham Walk, amid the devastation, a statue of Our Lady remained upright and intact. It withstood the winds and water and flames and falling debris. It was now conspicuous as the one recognizable feature in a field of smoldering destruction. (See: “Amid the Ashes, a Statue of Mary Stands as a Symbol of Survival”.)
An Associated Press photographer… not religious, happened upon the statue in the aftermath of the fire. He was fascinated by the image and took the photo which has become the most memorable and viewed photo of the storm.
As of this writing, more than 432,000 news reports and commentaries of what is being called the Breezy Point Madonna have appeared on the Internet.
The statue was set up in the garden of the McNulty home many years ago. Now, it has become a symbol of faith and hope a reminder that no matter what we may suffer in this world, Our Lady will never abandon us. The statue has attracted many people, some of whom offer a prayer; others leave candles, flowers, written requests or notes of thanksgiving.
The local pastor of St. Thomas More Church, Monsignor Michael J. Curran, visited the site and had this to say: “It will be a symbol of the suffering, but also of our rise from the ashes. It will be a symbol of what we’ve been through but also of our resurrection. It will be a reminder that for all the property we lost, God never left.”
— From The Fatima Center email newletter, late November 2012
— My input :
Catholics should consider saying the Rosary and consciously Offering Up to God or to the Sacred Heart of Jesus
and Immaculate Heart of Mary
every last suffering they endured during intervals with
dangerous people whenever one feels reminded about events.
This way, your sufferings will actually spiritually be applied toward the cause of GOOD.
Thus you never lose from even the worst material losses if this prayer is made sincerely, and repetitively each time
the thought occurs to do so.
WHEREAS ! The more one wallows in misery, the more the Evil side gains EVERY TIME one feels negative. depressed or resentful,
unless taken care of this way !
It is not ONE individual, but a whole hierarchy of evil beings who all work together against people who are generally good.
Saying the Rosary and this process of Offering Up is classic theology and very wise. It clears the slate and helps one to move forward courageously and confident that nothing they went through is ever wasted.
This offering up may go to help someone ELSE in peril when needed.
Then, when YOU need the assistance, it will be there for YOU.